||𝐖𝐇𝐘?||

Various colourful flowers surrounded you as you walked on the thin pathway that was ripped through the  chest of  huge garden. A little glowing light stood in the end of the long path as you absentmindedly just walked nearer and the further it went.

"Y/n, my child."

Your father's soft and gentle voice reached your ears and soon the light morphed into a tall figure, the figure being non other than your father. A cry of joy left your mouth as you found yourself running to reach him, tears non-stop streaming down from your eyes.

"I am sorry, Y/n."

Suddenly your were standing in complete darkness. Darkness which scared you, your anxiety increasing making you tremble in fear. Your eyes searching around for your father.

"DAD!"

You called looking around again and again trying to get just a glimpse of him yet no success.

"Dad!" 

"Dad, where are you?!"

"Da-"

Suddenly you saw a white car standing in front of you. You quickly started running towards it but the more you ran the further it went. The window of the car rolled down revealing your father smiling warmly at you, waving at you, his own eyes teary now. You smiled through your tears but before you would wave back at him a truck came in the view and crashed into your father's car.

Soon you saw your father laying on the floor lifeless with blood all over him. You wanted ran to him but your feet weren't moving, you wanted call him but your voice wasn't coming out, you were stuck. Slowly his body started fading away into thin air and you were left in complete darkness again.

"DAD!"

"DAD!"

You jolted up from your sleep with your face drenched your salty tears, your eyes desperately scanning the surroundings for your father. A choked sob left your mouth as the scene started replaying in your mind again and again.

"Y/n, oh my god, what happened?!"

A panicked Jungkook ran inside the room hearing your sudden scream, he quickly tried to hold you  but the moment he touched your shoulder you pushed him away harshly making him stumble back.

"Dad! Where are you?"

You cried, your eyes searching for him around your room and Jungkook stood there stunned by your sudden behaviour, he didn't know what to do.

"Dad"

You whimpered weakly covering your face with your hands as you cried soft. Jungkook gulped biting on his lip before slowly taking a sit beside you on your bed.

"Y/n"

He softly called before hesitantly placing his hand on your back, however you didn't push him away this time but you still your cries never slowed down.

"Y/n it's okay relax"

He rubbed your back in attempt to calm you down.Jungkook took your trembling figure in his embrace and your clenched your fists on his shirt and buried your face on his chest as you sobbed.

"Da-dad"

"Shush Y/n"

He slowly patted your head gently, bringing your weak form more closer to him, leaving no space between you and it did bring some ease to you.

"It was just a nightmare"

He softly kissed your hair trying to calm you down but all in unavail,his heart aching at the state you were in.

"W-why did he leave me,Jungkook?"

You trembled as flashback of your dad's lifeless figure came flashing into your mind, the nightmare felt soo real.

"He didn't leave you Y/n, he's still there with you."

Jungkook spoke gently as he held you like a child, you have become miserable since your father's death. Losing your father had left a great impact on you, leaving you falling deep into the depression. Jungkook was worried to say the least, he knew he was probably failing miserably in giving you the comfort you need.

"I cannot Jungkook...it is hurting me so much."

You tightly wrapped your arms around Jungkook's neck in hopes to find some warmth that would lessen your pain even if a little bit.

"Y/n"

Jungkook called softly as he held you in his arms, he hated to see you like this and right now he hated himself for being so helpless, he wished he could take away your pain and free you from them. He wished if he could bring back the time and stop that dreadful event from ever taking place, but none of that was possible, unfortunately.

You slightly pushed him and moved away from him. Avoiding his dark eyes that were fixed on you dropped your eyes on your lap. The sudden realization of guilt hitting you hard. It's been a week since the incident and Jungkook didn't leave your side for once, you knew he had a very busy schedule but he kept ditching his work just to be with you.

You felt culpable and you didn't want anyone else to suffer anymore because of you. Jungkook being there for you, gave you a lot of strength but you knew better than to keep him busy here. He needed to work, he had a life, a life that does not revolve around you. You weren't his responsibility, his burden to take. Your fucked up life shouldn't be the cause of his misery anymore, he deserved none of this.

"Why are you doing this, Jungkook?"

At your sudden question few crinkles to wedge between his eyebrows, his eyes looking at you with confusion flashing in them. However he did fail to meet your eyes as you had kept them fixed down the whole time.

"Wha-"

"If you are doing this only because you are pitying me and my situation then stop, I can take care of myself just fine."

An cloud of despondency hovered over Jungkook's heart with the words leaving your mouth, while you continued with your cutting remarks and desolation choked him into his thoughts. It was anything but pity that made him stay beside you.

"You should go back to work Jungkook, I am not your subject to solve. My life and my problems should never come in between your entity. You are not entitled to take care of me or to look after me, I don't want to be a burden in your life."

Your words leaving an acidulous taste in your mouth but you gulped down the feeling ignoring the little voice in you shouting in agony. Jungkook just sat there unmoving, his eyes never once wavering off you but you were too much of a coward to look into his beautiful doe eyes. Afraid you would show your hidden vulnerability, the one that wanted to him to keep holding you all the time. You didn't want to become selfish when you very well knew how you were still the cause behind his now sorrowful life.

"You are a not a burden."

His voice powerless to protect the pain that laced his tone, he was seized with an impotent sadness. The impact of your word had felt an scar in his heart but you were unaware of them, mistaking the guy's genuine concern and worry as pity.

You found yourself raising your eyes to look into his hurt ones, countless emotions swimming in them. Your heart squeezing itself at the look he was giving you, the expression on his face made you feel guilty, unlike anything you had ever felt, it made you want to sink to the ground and stay there.

"I don't want you to be alone when I know what you are going through. You need someone-"

His words to explain everything coming to halt with you cutting in between them.

"That's exactly what I am saying Jungkook, I don't need your pity and I don't need anyone beside me, at least not you. Shouldn't you be happy, now that karma is getting back at me for whatever I did to you all then why are even sympathising with me? Leave me here to rot, I deserve it. Your presence here is reminding me of my sins, it's suffocating me, doing nothing but adding more salt to my wounds. Your care is not what I need, I will be okay on my own. So please leave me alone."

Your raw words made Jungkook's face to turn stony, any spark could ignite the fumes inside his now frosty heart. He stood up on his feet abruptly glaring down at you with emotionless eyes.

"The lunch is ready, eat it when you want to."

He briefly informed, his piercing gaze had managed to rise the hair on the back of her neck. The both of your eyes met for a moment, his striking dark eyes meeting startled your brown ones. Throwing one last look full of grim he left the room closing the door behind him, you failed to notice the moisture clouding his eyes

Walking inside his room, Jungkook punched on his punching bag with a loud groan of frustration slipping through his mouth. Stripping himself off the white shirt that was cladding his upper body, he threw it on the ground harshly, the great feeling of disappointment crunching his heart.

"She's in pain, Jungkook."

He reminded himself trying to calm the tsunami that kept wilding up in his heart, the pain being too prominent to ignore. He dropped his exhausted self on the bed letting the emotions to absorb him whole.

I can't hate you, never and I can't tell you why, because I keep asking myself the same thing, everyday, again and again. You are wrapped around my head in a way all the time making it hard for me to turn away from you. My feelings for you are nameless, indescribable but pure. You would never understand my emotions and I will never be able to make you understand.

__
_____

A longggg chap full of my useless writing 💩
Until next time~