Kian's POV

Peyton is mad at me. As soon as the beta – Bridger – left the room, he let me have it. He scolds me for talking, for being too trusting. He yells that I can't trust every creature that's kind to me because that's how I'll get myself hurt. I understand his concerns but I try to reason that if they truly wanted to hurt us here, they would have done it already. The kind women wouldn't have offered to wash our clothes, the iota assistants wouldn't have given us soft cots with fresh linens that actually smell good, they wouldn't have given Jenna a separate room and treated her so gently the way they did.

But maybe Peyton is right. Maybe I shouldn't trust the first person who shows me kindness because maybe everyone truly is evil. Maybe this is their way of trying to lure us in.

Now I feel stupid. I bite the insides of my cheek as I turn to climb off of the cot. I walk over to the window. If they had wanted to hurt us...they wouldn't allow us to move freely the way I am now. Right? They'd chain us to the cots or something. I look out the window. We're on the second floor but even so, we're still pretty high up. The theta who came in to talk to us had said that the infirmary only has four floors and that we're on medium security. The fourth floor is maximum security, the third is for mental instability, the second is used mostly for the birth of pups and the first is for non-serious injuries.

"Our pack isn't huge so we can get away with having such a small infirmary," the theta had said.

I lean against the wall and peer out of the window, watching the people of this pack go about their business. A woman, I assume a teacher or a Chi, guides a bunch of pups who are probably no older than five with her arms spread wide as she flaps them up and down like a bird. The pups follow suit with huge smiles on their faces as they run around. Other people walk about looking peaceful and not angry the way my pack members looked. They always looked as though they hated being alive and walking past them always made me nervous. They'd lash out and beat me publically for no reason even if my head was lowered.

But these people...they seemed so kind. They seemed happy.

I lean my head against the wall and watch. I watch a large man with bulging muscles stop just before running into one of the pups the teacher is guiding. He stands on his tiptoes as if stopping was hard for him and leans over the pup as if he was about to fall. The little boy's smile wavers only a bit as he runs back to his teacher. Standing in front of her, the boy flexes both of his little arms on either side of his head and the man does the same. All the pups get excited and jump around and point at the man with shock and admiration on their faces and some even make the same pose.

I smile.

How lucky they are.

My hands slide up my arms and I flinch as they press against the bruises. My alpha had gotten mad at me hours before we left. He had grabbed my arms so roughly I thought they'd break under his grip.

I shudder at the memory.

I glance over at Peyton who has his head leaned back against the wall. He's still sitting on the cot, his legs pulled to his chest. His eyes are closed and his breathing is steady. He's asleep.

I stare at the door and glance back at Peyton. Slowly, I move towards the door and reach out my hand. Just as I'm about to open the door, it swings open. The scent of rosewood ambushes my nose and I stumble back, eyes wide and almost losing my balance. I back all the way up until I hit the cot where Peyton sleeps with the back of my legs.

My eyes land on a tall man. His huge, terrifyingly so. He has long blonde hair pulled back into a tight bun and a bit of facial hair that lines his face handsomely. He has a crazy muscular build, his muscles bulging out of his black muscle tee and thighs threatening to break away from his black, ripped jeans. His blue eyes are narrowed and they're staring straight at me. It's like they bore through my body and he's seeing in me. His eyes are cold and they send an unpleasant shiver up my spine. I take a deep breath and his scent enters my nose again.

Where my wolf's voice would be, the word "mate" echoes in a tiny whisper. I haven't heard from him in years and his faint voice almost brings me to tears. I almost think I'm hearing things. I've assumed he was gone forever, that he killed himself inside me somehow.

Then it dawns on me...if I wasn't hearing things, then my wolf just said mate.

"You're fucking kidding me," is the first thing my supposed 'mate' says before advancing towards me.

I yelp and Peyton — who's fully awake now — grabs me and pulls me away from the man. I fall on the bed and scramble backward, my back hitting Peyton's arm as he too tries to stand up to get away from this obviously angry man.

His scent is overwhelming and his pheromones only make it worse. I can feel them getting stronger as he demands I stand up but I'm so used to my old alpha using them to get me to do things that I'm almost immune to the urges to submit. Up to now, I've only been doing things out of fear.

He grabs my arm and I scream. Peyton tries to pry his the alpha's huge hand off of my arm but his fingers only tighten, adding yet another bruise over the bruise that's already there.

"LET HIM GO!" Peyton yells. I try to jerk away, kicking my legs backward as well but the man only pulls me forward. Usually, I'd just submit at this point but I grab Peyton's shirt with my free arm and he latches onto my arm and tries all his might to pull me away.

My body doesn't react the way I always imagined I would if I were to be touched by my mate. I imagined melting under his touch, feeling safe and warm. I imagined the bond would be like a blanket to cover my traumas and wrap me up until nothing could get to me anymore. 

But instead, all I feel is fear. I don't even feel the bond. His touch caused sparks under my skin, but that's it and it was gone as soon as it came. It's almost as if there's nothing between us, just a word.

"You can't possibly be my mate," the man says. My heart squeezes itself at the face he makes. He's disgusted.

Of course, I expected this as well.

A memory surfaces of when I lived with the zetas. After his father died, Jason told me I was his mate. He told me that because we were mates, I was required to give him anything and everything he wanted at any time. I believed him because I had no other reason to not believe him. I was young, below the age of eighteen and he was much older so I figured I'd learn to love him and that the beatings would just be a norm.

Then he found his actual mate and I saw the way he treated her. So gentle, so caring, so loving.

Maybe I just don't deserve love.

I raise my hand up and push the alpha away.

I felt nothing for him. My wolf isn't here to scream and cry about our mate, the bond is too faint to feel any pain at my physical rejection. Plus, he clearly doesn't want me. 

I'm used to this.

I'm used to being used but not wanted.

"Don't you ever push me away," the alpha growls as he raises his hand. I back into the wall and cover my face with my arms, waiting for the impact. Nothing comes.

I peek through the gap in my arms and see Beta Bridger holding the alpha's arms behind his back. The alpha's eyes glow yellow with fury as he growls and demands his beta release him.

"I'm your alpha, Bridger, you listen to me," he demands but Bridger only tightens his hold.

"I'm your beta and you take my advice, and I advise you to never raise your hand to an omega ever again," Bridger growls back. "I don't think Goddess would take too kind to it."

I frown at that as I slowly lower my arms. I stay glued to the wall and I glance over at Peyton who's standing at the other end of the room. The exit is blocked by the alpha and his beta.

"Go outside and take a breather," Bridger suggests.

He releases his alpha and I tense up, thinking he'll lash out at me. He doesn't, he just glares at me before reluctantly leaving the room, his chest raising up and down with rage.

I swallow as I look up at Bridger.

"I'm so sorry...to both of you," he says as he runs his hair through his black hair. "Arron is...he's very aggressive, he wasn't socialized well as a pup." I think he's making a joke as he cracks a small smile. Neither of us returns the smile.

I don't say anything as I try to catch my breath. A stray tear makes its way out of my left eye and I quickly wipe it away. Why am I even crying? He didn't hurt me.

"Did he hurt you?" Bridger asks, his brown eyes widening, "do you need a nurse?"

I shake my head but Peyton says,

"We need to leave."

"Your pregnant friend isn't in the right shape to leave right now," Bridger argues, "trust me, I'm not holding you hostage. I have no idea what shit you've been through wherever you came from, but trust me, we're not like that. I mean Arron...he's...he's always been hard to handle, aggressive, all that. But that's just him, you don't have to worry about him. You'll have freedom here as soon as you're checked by the Upsilons–"

"Why?" I ask, my heart finally falling to a steady beat. I've never had an issue with Upsilons before but that's only because they're not always in the pack. Still, they scare me and I know that when they check people, they pat them down and undress them and do all sorts of things.

"Precautions. They won't undress you or do anything wrong, it's just their job to check visitors before they enter the pack. However, you three were in bad shape so getting medical help was the priority. But after the Upsilons check you, you can leave the infirmary and explore our packlands during the duration of your stay with no questions asked."

I glance at Peyton who's already looking at me. Is he telling me to make the decision? I hate when he does this.

"W-Well...Jenna..." I trail off, "C-Can we check on Jenna?"

Bridger nods before pausing. "Actually...I don't know. The nurses may not let you because they want her in a stress-free environment."

"We're her friends!" Peyton argues, "we need to make sure she's okay."

The beta sighs before nodding again and gesturing for us to follow him. As we exit the room, I see the food he went to get us sitting on a white cart. My stomach growls at the sight of the food but we keep walking. I wonder if it's a full plate or just scraps from earlier meals. Either way, I'd be happy.

He guides us through a labyrinth of hallways, I can barely keep count. We stop in front of a set of double doors just as a woman does.

"Bridger...who are these two?" the woman asks, glancing at us, "no visitors past this section, you know that."

"This is a special case, Yujin," Bridger says, "the omega who's having issues with her pregnancy needs to see these two. It'll help calm her down to know they're okay, she's very stressed right now."

The woman — I assume either a theta or an iota — thinks about it for a second. She glances at us again before sighing and scanning her card against the card reader. The doors open and we walk in.

We walk past the pup room. I stop and press my hands against the window. There are only three pups inside, all swaddled tightly in their blankets. A nurse cradles one of the pups to her chest, bouncing them slightly. The pup's face is contorted as they cry, their little face a furious red. I smile at the sight as the young nurse purses her lips, no doubt shushing the pup.

When I lived with Jason and had one of his pups, I was able to take care of her for some time before he kicked me out. She was the only pup of mine that I got to hold and feed and kiss and love. It was short-lived but the happiest moment of my life. When she cried, she looked just like the pup in the room: all scrunched up and red, fists balled by her head. 

I can feel my eyes heating and my heart hurts so I quickly push the memory away, closing my eyes for a second to compose myself.

"That one is mine."

I flinch at the voice and quickly move from the window. I look up at a man much taller than me. He has striking green eyes and his braided hair is pulled in a big bun atop his head.

"The one crying..." he clarifies, "she has some lungs on her, you should hear her. I thought she was going to break the windows when she was born just an hour ago."

I look around and notice Bridger and Peyton have moved on with me. I look back up at the man. I study him for a while as he looks through the glass. His demeanor is calm, he's smiling lovingly at his pup. He's not threatening. At least, I don't think he is. 

I swallow, trying to find my voice.

"W-What's her name?" I manage.

He glances down at me. "My mate wants to name her Olivia, but I told him Asher is a badass name."

I nod. Both names are nice, but if she were my daughter I'd go for Olivia. I don't voice my opinion, scared I'd be put down or even attacked. I look down the hall, wondering which way Peyton and Bridger went.

"I haven't seen you around here before," the man says as he presses his shoulder against the window to face me, "are you new?"

"Um..."

"Oh...you're one of the omegas they found?" he says it like a question and I just nod.

"Well, you chose the right back to get lost in," he offers me a smile, "we're not like other assholes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on my mate."

He leaves, walking back from wherever he came from. I turn my attention back to the pups in the nursery. I wonder if Jenna is doing okay, and if her pup is well. She should give birth around six months, but depending on the development of her pup and her stress levels, it could be earlier. She's currently four months.

I hope it's not earlier. How can we travel with an infant?

But should I keep traveling with them? My mate is here...how do I leave him? But is he really my mate if I don't feel anything for him? Plus he said he didn't want me—

"She's well," yet another voice startles me, but this one is familiar.

I turn to face Bridger who's walking down the hall with his muscular arms crossed against his chest. His black hair is combed back with one stray strand hanging over his forehead. He stops before he can get too close for comfort.

"Jenna has been fed and her stress levels are decreasing," he clarifies, "however, her pup's heart rate indicates that it is still stressed and she'll stay longer in the infirmary until she and the pup are in perfect health. I'm hoping all of you are willing to stay until she's given birth?"

I shrug, awkwardly crossing my arms against my chest. Should I thank him? I don't have time to even thank him as he starts talking again,

"Arron is your mate?"

I shake my head before I can even think about it.

"I-I don't think I want him," I say. I expect the words to hurt. I've heard horror stories of mates rejecting each other; how painful it is. Some have said it's like your soul is being ripped out of your body, through your skin or your heart is being seized by an unknown force. I've heard it drives some wolves mad, others die on the spot, some kill themselves. It wasn't quite a rejection, but it wasn't acceptance either. I feel nothing. Shouldn't I feel something? Am I so broken that even the bond I should have with my mate is broken too>

I watch the corner of his lips twitch. He thinks it's funny. 

"I wouldn't want him either. Come on, I'll take you back to the room so you can eat."

- - -

Word Count: 2930

Arron is out of pocket.