Chapter 25: sᴄᴀʀᴇᴅ

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"I'm afraid I'll be a book that no one reads. Music that no one listens to anymore. I'm afraid I'll be abandoned like a movie playing in an empty theater."

― Tablo

I've never realized until now how many secrets my family has.

After finding out about my father and Sarah I asked myself how come I never suspected anything. I've been way too naive and believed them.

There were many unanswered questions. Why are Sarah and my father in contact? Since when? Does my mother know? Is she involved too? Why didn't Sarah brag about it? Who is the woman my father is seeing? Why did he ask for money if he didn't need it? What did he do with it?

Zane was very kind and patient with me. He's been keeping me updated and I even helped him a few times with Sarah.

But even with all the information, I knew I felt like I knew nothing.

To think that I've been living in the dark for years and the ones who betrayed me were my own family, that's a whole other level of disappointment.

My new life at my cousin's house was good. She helped me get the bakery job and let me stay at her place and for that, I was more than grateful. I'll be forever indebted to her.

Of course, I paid her a part of my salary. I refused to stay there for free.

My relationship with Zane didn't change. We still talk almost daily. I wish we could facetime but for security reasons, we only talk by voice call.

I miss him a lot. The few weeks I spent with him made me feel whole. Being there with him felt like I was complete and didn't need anything else.

New message

ZeZe💜: Love, for the next two days I won't be able to text you. I'll tell you about it when it's over. I wanted to let you know that Sarah will be there too and a bunch of other drug addicts. I'd prefer to be in your arms now but I'll hold onto the promise that soon I'll be able to do that. I miss you a lot. 💜

Me: No worries ZeZe, please take care of yourself.

You can't get hurt alright? 💜💜

ZeZe 💜: Good night love 💜

Me: Good night 💜

He would always let me know when he disappears and can't contact me which I was grateful for. That way I would not worry that much wondering what he's doing or if anything bad happened.

A few weeks ago Zane asked me something that still has me thinking.

"KatKat, once this is over are you willing to come live with me in Canada?"

That question could not be answered right away.

Our relationship is progressing each day. We're getting closer but moving to another country with him it's a step that I'm not sure I can take yet.

If things don't work out then I'll be left all alone there. Of course, I would return here with my cousin but it won't be the same.

To be honest I'm really scared. Afraid that I'm trusting him too much.

Everyone that I've trusted before lied to me and if Zane were to do the same I would really be devastated.

Just as he promised, Zane called me two days later. His voice tone however told me something was not right.

"Baby, something happened. I'm a true piece of shit. I should have stayed further away from her." There was guilt in his voice.

"ZeZe what's wrong? It's alright you can tell me" I tried to reassure him.

"Sarah kissed me." I froze. That didn't settle well with me.

"I was at the track race, there was a very important race that helped me get some more information on the rat. I went there only to observe and tried to mind my own business. Then they all began to drink and take drugs. My colleague Paul and I took samples of the drugs to send them to the laboratory. Sarah approached me out of nowhere and kissed me on the lips." He let out a huge sigh before continuing.

"I swear on my life that I didn't respond to the kiss. I literally pushed her away and went to vomit. Paul can testify for me. I didn't enjoy any of it. But I'm still sorry because I let my guard down and I let that happen. I'm sorry Angel." His voice was full of regret. Somehow my instinct told me to believe him.

Yet, my insecurities came back to me.

"Zane, I need some time. I'm not ready to tell you this but what she did goes beyond a simple kiss. It means a lot more to me. So right now I need time to think." I could feel the tears forming and the memories coming back to me.

"Alright baby, I'll give you time. Please talk to me when you're ready."

We ended the call after.

I didn't know what to think. Can I really trust him so blindly?

We've been through a lot and we promised to be honest. We both have been so far. But this...it opens wounds.

I didn't want to think again about the other two guys who only approached me to be with my sister. I even forgot about the kiss between her and Zane at the beginning.

But now, this again. Is as if she's trying to remind me that Zane will never be mine. And I hate the way I give in to that thought.

I hate how insecure that makes me feel.

Yet, at the same time, I can't stop thinking about the possibility that maybe all of this is another game. One in which I lose.

I gave it a lot of thought. For hours I questioned if it was fair to blame him. The only information that I have is his.

If I begin to doubt his words then what kind of relationship am I building? It's just a kiss after all. It's not like they did something else. He also said he didn't enjoy it and when we talked about it months ago he repeatedly said he hated kissing her.

I'm not really mad at him. It's more with myself. I'm afraid she'll manage to take him away from me like the other two.

But this time I don't want to lose him. Not him. That's why just this time I'm going to fight for him and trust him.

If it doesn't work out, at least I've tried and did my best.

A few hours later my doubts disappeared. She texted something that confirmed to me what happened was intentional.

Sarah: You know Zen tastes really good. Those lips were delicious. Too bad you broke up.

That took me by surprise. What does she mean?

Me: I don't know what you're talking about.

Sarah: Oh, come on big sis, I knew you stayed with him in his apartment. But then he must have kicked you out because you were too much to handle. Now I've got my chance back with him. He was mine from the beginning.

Me: You are wrong, we are not together

Sarah: Oh, that I know. He probably only used you to get to me.

We ended the conversation there.

Something changed, however. They knew. Everything about Zane.

I called him right away.

"Baby!" He was happy to hear me.

"ZeZe, we have a problem. I spoke with my sister. She knows we lived together and now we supposedly broke up." That changed everything. Probably Zane right now is being watched.

"I knew I was being watched, I still am but I didn't think Sarah would know. This only confirms that she is more involved in this."

There was a short pause and then after gathering strength I spoke.

"ZeZe, I'm not mad at you about the kiss. I know my sister. I was mad at myself. At my own doubts. Maybe one day when I feel comfortable I'll tell you about it." I tried to explain my previous behavior.

"Baby, you don't have to apologize. You already are an amazing girlfriend. I could never ask for anything better. Let's hang on a little bit longer alright? Let's be strong until then!"

Yes, let's be strong just a little bit longer...

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Hello guys! ❤️❤️

I hope you are enjoying the book so far. I wanted to let you know that I have finished it, but I still need to retouch some things. In the next weeks, I'll be posting more than a chapter per week.

I also want to let you know that things will get hectic in the next chapters, with a lot of plot twists and many lovely moments between Zane and Katherine.

Thank you once again for taking the time to read my story!

Stay safe out there! ❤️❤️

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