Crashing, hit a wall

Right now I need a miracle

Hurry up now, I need a miracle

Stranded, reaching out

I call your name but you're not around

I say your name but you're not around

"Don't let me down": The Chainsmokers

We drove in his car.

"What brand is it?" I asked as soon as Zane got inside.

"It's a dodge challenger" He sounded proud.

"I bet it's expensive"

"Well, you're not wrong. This baby cost me about twenty thousand dollars"

My eyes widened in surprise. I looked at him and he chuckled at my reaction.

"Twenty thousand?" He must be rich to afford such a car. That or he is involved in some illegal deal.

"I bought it with my own money, I'm not into illegal stuff," He said as if he could read my mind. What can I say, I'm quite expressive. It's not hard to read my face.

I nodded and we remained silent for a while until we reached a pizza place. Zane parked the car and opened my door before I could do it.

"Thank you," I said and followed him inside.

"Thank you," I said once again when he opened the restaurant door for me.

"Thank you," I said when the waiter gave us a table.

"You say thank you to everything" Zane looked at me with curiosity. Studying my every move. I guess he was trying to figure me out.

I shrugged. "You have to thank people, you can't take anything for granted. Kindness should never be taken for granted."

Zane nodded. "I agree."

I studied the menu and I knew right away what I wanted.

The waiter came back a few minutes later and asked us what we wanted to order.

"Barbecue pizza," we said at the same time and our eyes immediately met. Did we like the same pizza?

The waiter just nodded and wrote down our orders. We already had our drinks so only the food was left.

I looked at Zane and he was once again looking at me as if I was a research project.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I am a very honest person. I don't beat around the bush. I really don't like misunderstandings or having doubts. I don't read minds so I might as well ask.

"You fascinate me, Katherine, in a way that I don't quite understand myself."

I cleared my throat despite the visible blush on my cheeks.

"We came to talk," I said and his whole body tensed as if he forgot for a moment why I agreed to come with him.

"Right..." He crossed his arms and began his explanation.

"I already told you that I have to use the name Zen" I nodded and remained silent to let him explain.

"Fuck this is hard" He was now rubbing the back of his head. He was nervous.

"Zane, I told you I won't ask and I stand by that. You don't owe me an explanation. We're practically strangers, barely acquaintances." I didn't want to be rude. I just wanted to clarify that I didn't look for explanations.

"And that's exactly why I want to tell you because I don't want us to remain strangers"

"And what do you want us to be? Friends?" I was confused. It didn't really make sense that he wanted me around.

"Friends, right, we can start with that" His expression was unreadable. What's that supposed to mean?

"You don't sound really convinced" I furrowed.

"Fuck! Katherine, how can I say this without sounding crazy?"

"We're both adults here so I'm gonna be direct. I want you!" He looked at me with an expression that I had never seen before. No one looked at me like that so I couldn't really understand what it meant.

He wants...me?

"You want me...."

"Yes, as a man wants a woman." His eyes still on me.

"Then I'm sorry but I can not give you that," I said. I wasn't looking for quick hookups.

His eyes widened in realization "Fuck, no, no, Katherine, I didn't mean that I want to have sex with you, which I do, but that's not the point. Fuck I'm making this worse" He said rubbing his jaw.

Did he want to sleep with me? Why? I don't really have anything to offer...

"What I mean is that I feel a strong attraction towards you and I want to figure out why. I can't take you out of my mind and I don't understand why."

I looked away down to my lap. I blushed and it was clear that it affected me. No man has ever said he was attracted to me. I am flattered and my heart is beating fast. But I also knew that this would go nowhere.

My life right now and my many insecurities would not make me happy. I can't even believe a man like him would even look at me in that way.

We were interrupted by the waiter who brought out pizzas. None of us touched our food. Zane was waiting for an answer and I had to give it to him.

"Zane, I'm going to be completely honest with you. As you said we are both adults here and you seem mature enough to understand what I'm about to say. I'm flattered that you feel an attraction towards me and that's mutual, but I'm inexperienced in every topic related to relationships and intimacy. I'm not looking for someone to take my firsts. I'm also not looking for casual hookups or going to where the wind takes me."

I looked up at him and I looked directly into those charming grey eyes.

"My personal life right now is...complicated and what I need the most now if I were to look for someone is not physical but rather emotional support. You do seem like a good man despite not knowing much about you. That's why I believe you'll find someone better that will give you what you desire."

We remained silent for a few seconds looking into each other's eyes. Did I offend him? I hope I didn't.

"What if I can give you the emotional support that you need?"

I began to say something but he beat me.

"What I'm most attracted to is not your body, which I also am, but your way of seeing life. You're down to earth and speak your mind without hurting the other person. You're kind and thoughtful, always putting others before you. Fuck, even now you're worried about me being offended by your rejection."

What can I say to that?

"Zane, I don't want to get hurt" I really didn't. Be it friendship or anything else, I don't think I can handle another heartbreak. My mom, sister, and dad already did enough of that.

"Give me a month, if I do anything to hurt you during that time then I promise on my life to leave and never bother you again." He said his whole expression was serious.

"Isn't that worse? If I give you a whole month and I get attached to you but you hurt me and you leave isn't that worse? Is like breaking a glass and then leaving it on the floor without trying to fix it or at least clean it and toss it in the trash can. I really don't mean to be rude Zane but I'm really in a very delicate situation right now."

"Fuck Katherine, do you realize that the way you speak only makes me want you more?"

I was confused. Wasn't that rude? I practically accused him of something he didn't even do yet.

We remained silent, still looking at each other. I now realize that we've been looking into each other's eyes for a long time. I usually felt shy but it was strangely comfortable with him. Like I didn't feel nervous around him but rather calm.

"I understand, yet I still want to be at least your friend." He looked disappointed yet hopeful that I would at least agree to his friendship proposal.

And I did. "I can be your friend" His whole face lit up and gave me that killer smile that showed his whole teeth and which I'm gonna call from now on Zane smile.

"Alright, next time we eat first and then talk that way our food doesn't go cold," Zane said and we both laughed.

Somehow this new friendship looked good.

I guess I'm not alone anymore, at least for a while...

-------

Hello beautiful people!! ❤️

What do you think about this new friendship?