forty | wasn't enough

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     CARSON HATED that his words felt like a punch to the gut. She tried to convince herself that it wouldn't make a difference whether he accepted her words or not, but the truth was that it hurt like hell. She felt a rush of self-doubt, just like she had all of those years prior. She wondered why she wasn't enough and questioned if she ever would be. Maybe deep down she held onto this bit of hope that she would be able to get through to him.

"But why? John B didn't shoot Peterkin," Sarah jumped in, knowing that Carson was feeling just as defeated by Ward, if not more so.

"No, he didn't kill Sheriff Peterkin, but he is the reason she's dead," Ward said.

"What?" Both girls said.

"I offered to help him for just the tiniest little bit of what was already rightfully mine, and he said no. You know why he said no?" Ward said.

"Because that gold was never rightfully yours?" Carson said, now starting to feel angry again and not caring if she lost her temper. She had nothing else to lose at this point.

"Because he's greedy, like his father before him," Ward said. "He's so crazy for all that goddamn gold that he wouldn't share any of it with the one person that could help him. So crazy for that gold that he pulls his van in front of our airplane, almost killing you and me on that tarmac. That's why we were even there. That's why Peterkin was there. That's why it all happened. Him."

"Don't talk about him like that," Carson said. "Or Big John. That's my family." If Ward had once believed her when she said she would forgive him, now he didn't.

"It was Rafe," Sarah said. "And he's gonna get caught, and he's gonna drag all of you with him."

"Honey, he's not," Ward said. "Because I'm not gonna let it happen. You still don't understand. Sarah, this family, all of this, I didn't have it growing up, any of it. And if you think there is anything that I wouldn't do to keep us all together, sweetheart, you haven't been paying attention."

As if Ward couldn't hurt her enough, these words felt like salt in Carson's wound. He claimed that he was doing all that he was to keep them together because he didn't have any of that growing up and yet it is exactly the thing that he did to Carson. He created that life for Sarah, Rafe, and Wheezie, but by doing so, took that opportunity away from Carson.

"I've had enough," Carson said. "I'm sorry, Sarah, but I can't do this anymore. Nothing we say will change his mind. It's all just bullshit." She didn't even bother casting one last glance at Ward before turning around to get back to the boat. She tried to force her tears away but the harder she tried to hide them, the worse it felt. It seemed that Sarah was experiencing the same thing when she got to the boat. It was quiet between them as they headed back, mostly because both of them were engulfed by their thoughts, but eventually Sarah broke that silence.

"I'm so sorry, Carson," she said. "For everything, and for making you do that." Carson forced a smile and reached over to grab her hand in comfort.

"I'm sorry too," Carson said. As much as it hurt, she knew that what Sarah was going through was just as bad. Sarah had an actual relationship with Ward and it was just all being thrown away as if it were nothing. He broke both of his daughters.


There was a pit in her stomach as the others ran up to greet them when they got back. They knew they would have to admit that it didn't work, which would be sure to cause a lot of disappointment. JJ headed directly to Carson and could immediately sense something off.

"Are you okay?" he asked as he reached up to grab her hand to help her down off the boat.

"Couldn't be better," she said sarcastically, mostly because she didn't want to admit that no, she was not okay.

"He doesn't deserve anything from you. Just remember that," JJ said. She nodded her head and gave him a small smile. She knew he was right but she couldn't shake the feeling of not being wanted by her own father. JJ could understand the feeling, so he slid his hand into hers as a way to tell her that she wasn't alone.

"You guys were right. It didn't work," Sarah said. "Sorry."

"Well, then that settles it, guys," JJ said. "Now, y'all need to load up in the paddy wagon and get the heck out of dodge right now."

"Right, you guys are gonna need supplies, and you'll have to split as soon as possible," Pope said.

"Guys, I think it's too late," Kiara said. The sound of sirens echoed in the distance as a bunch of boats sped towards the shoreline where they were standing.

"They followed you here?" John B said. "It must've been your father."

"We're gonna have to find another way out of here," Pope said.

"Stay on the beach with your hands in the air!" One of the officers ordered into a megaphone.

"Sorry, we can't hear you!" Carson screamed back.

"There's no time for that. C'mon," John B said, grabbing her arm to pull her along with the rest of them as they attempted another escape. They sprinted through the woods as they tried to outrun the officers, but Carson could hear that they were close behind. Eventually they had no choice but to stop and hide behind a tree.

"No getting out of this, we gotta make a stand," JJ said. He pulled out the gun, ready to fight back.

"JJ, no," Carson said. The last thing they needed was a shootout between JJ and the cops. John B was already on the line and she wasn't about to let JJ be too. It was obvious John B felt the same because he reached over and shoved JJ against the tree, holding him back from doing anything stupid. He took the gun and tossed it to the ground.

"It's gonna be alright," he told him. He stepped forward to surrender, which made all of them feel helpless. They all raised their hands as the officers advanced on them. When one of them got to John B, he threw him to the ground.

"Stop!" Carson screamed along with the others.

"Shoupe, what is that? You're gonna let that happen?" JJ screamed.

"This is for Peterkin," the officer said before punching John B straight in the eye. Then he was being taken away, finally having been caught after all that running. And there was nothing any of them could do to stop it.

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