69┃i'm going to kill him

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S7 EP18

WALKING TOWARDS HER brother at the cafeteria, Norah felt queasy after having to retch out her breakfast, right after receiving the news. Timothy raised a brow at the lack of colour on her face, a pit of worry growing within him.

"What happened to you?" he asked but was met by a response he did not fancy.

The look behind her eyes was not fear nor horror, at least not directed to herself; he saw dread and pity behind her hazel eyes, which made the pit in his stomach redirect towards himself.

"Nor...? What-"

"C-Callie's six minutes out."

She watched the paleness struck his face; he felt the hair on every square inch of his skin stand. Within a single heartbeat, he sprinted out of the cafeteria, ignoring the yells and shouts of the people he had bumped into.

Norah took a deep breath before hurrying after him. Her concern grew for her brother, Callie, and her unborn niece or nephew.

Everything will be okay.

❦ ❦ ❦

TIMOTHY PUSHED THROUGH the ER doors where the surgeons of every department were waiting anxiously. They turned their heads to him in unison, and he felt sick of the stares.

It felt like the aftermath of the shooting all over again. Cameras and people's eyes, all directed towards him because he survived. It made his hair stand, not that it mattered at that moment.

"What the fuck do you guys know?" he demanded, looking frantically at every one of them.

"Car versus truck, that's all we know," Webber informed, his voice was hesitant-never a good sign.

The resident felt his whole body draining of life. "A-Are they at least... alive? Callie? T-The baby?"

The chief gave him a sad look before stating firmly, "We don't know."

Norah had caught up to him and hurried out of the ER doors, staring at her brother's frozen figure standing behind the group of surgeons. "Tim-"

"They don't fucking know anything, Nor," he choked out a sob as he turned around. She frowned at the sight of him. His eyes were empty; the fright was creeping up his skin. "They don't know... T-They don't..."

Norah stepped forward to wrap her arms around her brother, who started to shake-tremble. He was trembling in her hold, his hands gripping the back of her scrub top. He was a total wreck.

The ER doors opened again, and Mark hurried out after scrubbing out from his surgery. "What the hell happened?"

"Car versus truck, that's all we know," Owen informed this time.

Mark's eyes landed on his girlfriend, who was still holding her brother tightly while Timothy dug into the back of her scrub top.

"They don't fucking know anything," Timothy repeated, trying his best to compose himself, "They don't even fucking know whether they're alive..."

"Well, why... Why the hell don't you know?" Mark demanded with a scoff, turning on his spot, "Someone get me a trauma gown!" He was panicking, too; his breathing was shallow, and his jaw clenched.

"Mark, you need to sit this one out," Webber told him, but he looked back at the chief in disbelief.

"I'm not sitting this one out," Mark snapped back, "That's Callie. A-And she's pregnant, that's... She's-"

"Mark."

The concern at the front of his eyes was similar to when the one he had the night when things between them went south. The strain and worry were eating up inside him. She reached for his hand, squeezing his shaking fist tightly as he shook his head helplessly.

"Look, maybe I don't understand what you two have, how you have it, but I understand this-she is like your family," Webber stated, his voice firm and sincere, "Callie Torres and that baby are like family to you, and the best way that you can help your family is to step back and let the rest of us do what you can't rationally do: save their lives."

Mark turned his head to her wordlessly, in need of reassurance. "Everything will be okay," she spoke softly, "Today will be okay."

She believed her own words because she had not felt any prick of chills to her back, which meant everything will be okay. At least, that was what she was convincing herself.

She felt the tenseness in his hand loosening, and she pried the gown and gloves off his hand before hurriedly putting it on herself.

"I'm in the room, you hear me? I'm in the room!" Mark scoffed at the chief before storming over to Timothy, who remained frozen by the wall.

"Okay," Webber agreed his demand before turning to the resident, "Lawrence, you should sit this one out, too. That's your niece or nephew in there and-"

Norah snapped her head to the chief with her eyebrows knitted in disbelief. "Sir, I'm related to the baby, but I'm not biologically related to Callie, who had a traumatic head injury. And all due respect, you need all your best residents on this case-"

Her words got cut off by the blaring of the ambulance's siren. Webber, too, had dismissed her hastily and turned to the group of surgeons. "Hunt, you're in charge," he instructed.

Owen took the lead, rushing up to the vehicle that had just pulled up. "Alright, everyone. Multiple blunt trauma protocol. Let's go."

The door opened, and Arizona stepped down of it with a shock blanket covering her. "T-Tachycardic and hypotensive en route. Obvious h-head and chest injuries."

When Callie got lowered from the ambulance on a gurney, Mark stared in horror as he held Timothy up with one hand.

The woman was covered in her own blood, with multiple open wounds from the cuts of glass shards. Her eyes were opened wide, in shock, staring at the surgeons surrounding her.

"Callie? Callie, we've got you, you hear me?"

Her eyes found the brunette resident's, a pleading look in her eyes despite her mangled state. Norah leaned closer, swallowing back the tightness in her throat, as well as the sickness down her stomach.

"Everything is gonna be okay," she spoke, though she was not quite sure whether her words were towards Callie or herself.

Norah lifted her eyes briefly to Timothy, who looked pale, then to Mark, who ran a hand through his face stressfully. A look of horror spread across both their faces when the surgeons started wheeling Callie into the ER.

Timothy walked up to Arizona, the blonde still wrapped under the shock blanket. "What the hell happened?" he questioned, his voice hard.

"It came out of nowhere," she gulped, her voice trembling, "I... I asked her to marry me, and a truck came out of nowhere."

"What... What the fucking hell?" he let out a dry laugh before running into the ER, catching up to the gurney.

NORAH RUSHED BEHIND the attendings who were pushing the gurney, overhearing their short exchange of words. She took a deep breath and shut everything in her mind out of her head.

The blood is not mine. I am okay.

That is not Jace Thompson, nor Kirian Rook or George O'Malley.

That is Callie Torres, and she and the baby will be okay.

When they arrived in the nearest trauma room, the surgeons quickly surrounded the gurney. Their hands reached under the spinal board and lifted Callie, transferring her onto the bed in the room.

"Get those IVs up."

"And make sure her lines are patent."

The residents scrambled to hook up things and push in machines to the attendings. They were working all at once. Timothy, Mark and Arizona had walked into the chaos going on in the room; everyone was desperate for a positive outcome.

"Depressed skull fracture with a probable bleed," Derek declared, shining the light at her eyes.

"Tell CT to get ready for her," Norah instructed a nurse, "Now, please-run."

"No obvious spinal deformities."

"Hang two bags of O-neg.," Bailey ordered.

"She's A-positive," Arizona and Timothy spoke in unison, their mountain of concern bouncing off each other.

"Scratch that," Bailey stated, "Type specific, A-positive."

"Is there a fetal heartbeat?" Arizona asked shakily. Her own injuries were still left unattended, and she had refused treatment until she knew Callie was alright. The surgeons in the room did not hear her as they continued shouting orders and status reports to each other. "Lucy, is there a fetal heartbeat?"

"Lucy!" Timothy bellowed, his voice gaining the attention of the OB fellow.

"Give me a minute!" Lucy yelled back at them.

Webber held an arm out, barricading all three of them as they attempted to walk up to the middle of the room. "You three need to back up," the chief stated; his voice was the calmest among everyone else.

"I want an answer!" Arizona pleaded.

"Against the wall and silent. You hear me?" Webber pushed the two surgeons backwards so that neither would interfere with the other surgeons in the room who were working to save Callie's life.

The three of them watched helplessly from the wall, their minds flushed with worry. Mark's gaze flickered between the woman on the bed and the brunette who was assessing her head injury. The shouting of orders resumed louder as the residents continued rushing in circles as they handed scans and tools here and there.

Norah was constantly switching the tools on her hand with Derek's, handing them to him before he even requested. They worked wordlessly and in utter coordination. The silence abled her to hear her own breathing, feeling her heart thumping in her chest, sweat beading on her forehead-but she did not care.

She spared a glance at Timothy, who had never looked paler than ever; Mark was looking back at her with strained eyes and the furrow of his eyebrows that failed to ease up. They needed her.

But between them and the woman on the trauma bed, all she could do was lower her eyes back to the latter.

There were two lives to save.

"This monitor's not picking up," Lucy shook her head as she struggled to find the heartbeat on the fetal monitor.

"Doppler's here," Alex informed, and the OB fellow nodded.

"Okay, let's switch."

Norah peered up from Callie's head when they quickly changed the machine on the other end of the bed, hooking it up and pressing the device on the stomach. She could see the faint image on the monitor's screen; Arizona froze on her spot with Timothy holding her shoulder.

Derek had noticed the worried look on the resident's face and lifted his head momentarily. "How are we doing with the heartbeat, Lucy?" he queried while Norah held the gauze on the still-bleeding scalp.

"Systolic's down to 72," Webber informed, referring to the mother.

"If I'm gonna find a heartbeat, I need everybody to shut up for a second," Lucy stated, but her voice got overlapped by the shouting orders in the trauma room. The room was still in complete chaos.

It ticked her off when nobody listened, and Norah finally snapped at the situation. "Everybody just shut the fuck up-for fuck's sake!" Her voice was loud and strong; the shouts fell silent instantly. The surgeons in the room glanced at her briefly before returning to their work in a quieter volume.

"D-Dr Fields?" Timothy voiced out. His mind was still blank.

The familiar rhythm broke the silence in the room, and everyone let out a soft exhale of relief. "There it is. Fetal heartbeat."

Norah was still gritting her teeth but felt the slightest comfort; Timothy had pushed out of the trauma room after confirming that there was a fetal heartbeat. The sound of his hard footsteps indicated that he was heading away from the ER.

"Dr Lawrence-"

"Dr Webber," she cut him off before he could start, her voice dire and weighty, "Respectfully, I'm Shepherd's best resident, and Torres had just flown through a fucking windshield. Headfirst, if I might remind you again. So, if you're gonna suggest, in any way, that I'm off this case, I will scalpel you. Respectfully."

Jackson let out a low whistle at her snappy demeanour towards the Chief of Surgery.

"I'll pull myself out if I see myself unfit for this case," Norah stated, her immense glare finally managed to stare down the chief.

"You good?" Derek peered at her while she handed him more gauze. He could hear her heavy breathing and nervous gestures when she tapped her foot anxiously-and then he was also startled a little when her loud voice rang at the side of his ears.

"As good as one can be after god sent one of her closest friends through a windshield, who, mind I add, is carrying my brother's child," she responded crassly, and he narrowed his eyes at her words. "I'll be fine, Derek."

He nodded, trusting her judgement of herself, but then added in a low tone, "Mark isn't."

Her eyes met the blues once again. The distress radiating off him was clashing with her unease. Her worry drifted on and off between him and Callie; it was an uncomplicated decision on who to put their full attention on-it should be.

But right now, in her head, Mark Sloan was triumphing over her decision.

She was fine.

❦ ❦ ❦

"CT SHOWS A LARGE epidural and subdural. I need to get in there," Derek informed after looking at the scans. He stepped towards the surgical field where Norah had just prepped the head accordingly. "Is she under?"

"We're ready for you," the anesthesiologist replied with a nod.

"Alright, I'm going in. I need a ten-blade," he requested, "Bipolar to Dr Lawrence."

Norah thanked the scrub nurse, who handed her the surgical forceps, and she stood beside Derek. The other surgeons had positioned themselves in their respective places.

"Wait, wait, stop-her anesthesia's too light," Lexie informed sharply, causing the surgeons who were just about to cut into Callie to stop at their places. They let out complains and murmurs, their stressed minds placing blames on the anesthesiologist.

"Take a breath. Everybody, I mean it," Owen voiced out, "Stop what you're doing and every one of you, take a breath and centre yourself. There's no need to rush in there. We rush, we make a mistake. So, everybody... take a breath."

The surgeons did as advised, pulling in a few long breaths before pushing the air out of their lungs. Norah had taken in several breaths-hell, she had been doing it for a good while now-but the unsettling feel under her stomach was still consuming her.

When they eventually started to operate, working simultaneously as a team. The OR was in dread and utter silence.

Norah glanced up to the gallery, only to find Arizona and Mark-Timothy was still missing, and it was close to driving her insane.

Derek noticed her gaze upwards and immediately understood the worry that clouded her head. "Someone has to keep an eye on Tim," he announced.

"Little Grey," Webber called out, and Lexie lifted her head.

She glanced over to Jackson as the two had something going on for a bit now; he nodded, and she quickly hurried out of the OR without another moment of thought.

TIMOTHY SAT ON THE bench with his elbows on the row in front of him. His hands clasped together, and he rested his forehead on them. He heard the door being pushed open from behind, followed by a pair of footsteps approaching him.

A presence sat down next to him on the long bench. The quietness remained in the air until it was interrupted.

"Tim-"

"Look, I know you hate me, so-"

"I don't hate you," Lexie stated firmly, her brows furrowed in concern at his dishevelled state. His hair was messed up, obviously having to run his hands through it several times.

He slowly turned his head to her, and her face fell slightly at the sight of him. His tears had dried off on his cheeks; his mind still swam with thoughts, and his eyes were blank.

"I never really prayed before in my life, but here I am. People are fucking weird, aren't they?"

"They are..." Lexie nodded while she stared at him quietly.

"They're gonna be fine, right?" he asked, his voice small and close to breaking. The past hour had scared him beyond anything he ever experienced.

She nodded before shifting closer to him, putting a comforting hand around his shoulder. "Everything will be fine."

For that moment, her being there was enough for him.

THE SURGEONS HAD AGREED on a temporary abdominal closure for Callie to recuperate so that she would not bleed to death in the OR.

Norah could feel that the sight of blood was making her mind foggy again. Her chest started heaving up and down at a quicker pace, but she mustered all she could to slow it while holding the bipolar in her hand.

She needed reassurance.

But glancing up to the gallery, she only saw Arizona sitting alone. The seek for comfort was overridden with her crazing mind.

"Fuck," she muttered under her breath, "Meredith, can you take over here?"

The resident perked her head up, as well as the Neuro attending next to her. "Norah, you okay?" Derek asked.

"Yes, I am." That was a lie. "But Mark isn't. I need to... He needs me." That was the truth.

She handed the tools to Meredith and immediately darted out of the OR.

The moment she stepped through the doors, she felt like she finally caught her breath. She stalked down the quiet hallways-too quiet-very much unlike the morning they had just started with; it was the total opposite.

The hospital was huge, and there were hundreds of places where Mark could be. Yet despite her heart pounding in her chest, despite her breathing that felt strangled, despite the intense feeling that her mind was falling to insanity-she found him after pushing open the first door.

She stood at the doorway; Mark was pacing anxiously in the stairwell, his footsteps echoed within the walls. She walked up to him, and he lifted his head to her. Weakly shaking his head, a single tear rolled down his eye, one that he did not bother to wipe off.

Norah wrapped her arms around him tightly; it was the only way she could think of to calm him down.

His body hardened a bit before he dissolved into her embrace. His arms held her tightly, and his face buried into her shoulder, staining her scrub top with tears.

"S-She's my best friend," he managed out, his voice slightly muffled.

The dampness in his eyes made her heart sink to the bottom, and the quiet sobs on her shoulder tore it into two. "I know, Mark... I know..."

❦ ❦ ❦

"A BABY BORN AT 23 WEEKS risks encephalopathy, ROP, cerebral palsy, developmental-"

"Yes-fuck," Timothy cut Arizona off in their mid-discussion of their decision to act on Callie and the baby. "I might be a fucking resident, but I know the damn risks!"

"No, do you?" she fired back with a scoff, "Because you're acting like you don't care about the baby."

"I'm thinking about both of them-both of them!" he snapped at her, "You don't fucking think I care?!"

"You're not being rational!"

"Oh, boo-hoo! You just can't accept the fucking fact that your girlfriend screwed a dude because you dumped her on the way to Africa? And then what? You fucking crawl back into her life weeks later in tears, finding out she got pregnant with my kid. Fuck's sake, you didn't ask for the kid, and now you're-"

"No, no, no! You know what I didn't ask for? I didn't ask for you, Tim! You're still a resident, and you're immature, y-you're a child!" Arizona cut him off with yells, "And y-you're basically a sperm donor. I mean, this is me, and this is Callie, and we're together. So I say-"

"Just shut the fuck up. Are you

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