Chapter 36

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I placed the bouquet of flowers on the two gravestones - assorted carnations for my Dad and Daniel. Shivering a little from the eeriness of the graveyard at night, I stepped back, unsure of where to begin.

"Well, I'm graduating tomorrow and I really wish you were still here." I shoved my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie. "I'm stalling, I know. But I miss you both so much."

I paused as if waiting for a response from the empty air. Of course, there was none.

"I wish I could say that three years was enough time to grieve." As my throat closed up, I blinked the tears away. "It wasn't and sometimes I wish the universe was kinder to us all. But I love you, Dad. And Daniel - I hope you're both doing okay up there."

At the worst possible timing, my phone rang. It alarmed me so much that I stumbled and almost tripped over somebody's gravestone.

"Sorry," I mumbled with a grimace as I answered. "Hello?"

"I'm going to text you an address," said Tyler's voice. "Can you meet me there in ten?"

I frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"No. Why?"

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. See you soon."

I hung up and almost immediately, my phone vibrated with a notification. The address that he sent me was only a short drive away.

With a final look back, I trekked through the memorial park where my car was waiting outside the cemetery gates. As I started driving, I had to compose myself so that Tyler wouldn't assume that I was getting misty-eyed over his impending departure. He was leaving for LA in ten days and who knew when we would see him again. Not that I would ever admit it, but I was going to miss Tyler. I was proud of him because he was doing what some people spent their entire lives holding back from. From the bottom of my heart, I hoped he would succeed.

When I pulled up behind Reid's Porsche, he and Tyler got out of the car and came over.

"You're early," Reid noted.

"I was running errands," I replied vaguely. "What are we doing here?"

"You were running errands at 10 PM?" Tyler asked in confusion and then grinned from ear-to-ear as a Jaguar rolled down the road towards us. "Well, that's Dennis. It's time, my friends. Time for one last adventure."

-

"I don't feel so good."

"I think I can see the Mexican border."

"Fuck you, Tyler."

Those were mine, Dennis's and Reid's reactions respectively as we peered outside the window on a helicopter flying fifteen thousand feet above the ground. It was too dark to see anything around us and I was having a mini heart attack.

"Don't be such pussies," Tyler enthused. "Look at that view!"

For adrenaline junkies such as himself and Reid, skydiving wasn't such a big deal. But for Dennis and I who were – excuse the pun – a little more grounded, it was more terrifying than anything else. I really wished I could be on a romantic helicopter ride with Kayley and Jarred but then again, I would rather be anywhere but here.

"What view, Tyler?" Reid demanded, as an instructor checked his straps. "We're above the clouds - it's completely dark outside."

Before any of us could respond, the exit lights flashed green and Reid disappeared with his tandem instructor. It was as if the wind had lifted them straight out of the helicopter.

Tyler whooped in delight. "You're up, Dennis."

After Dennis and Tyler fell through the sky, I moved to the edge of the plane and looked over at the darkness below. Before I knew it, I was plummeting through the night.

The air rushed through my lungs and I opened my mouth in a silent scream as everything moved in a blur around me. It was darkness for a while until suddenly, the clouds cleared and it was like waking up from a dream.

From the sensory overload, I took in the glittering city that stretched below me. Panic filled my lungs at first but then I realised I couldn't hear the beeping horns or the muffled music blasting from nightclubs. I couldn't smell the freshly-ground coffee from the café down the road or the salty air from the beach. The street lights looked like neurons in the brain, firing, spreading and intertwining through the city. The wind brushed against the water's surface, shattering the reflection of the harbour for a heartbreaking second.

When my feet finally touched the ground, my knees almost gave way but Reid, who had already landed, grabbed my arm in time. I tried to pull myself together but if he heard my breath catch a little, hopefully, he thought it was from falling out of a helicopter.

"You're alive!" Kayley appeared with flushed cheeks, shouting over the wind being whipped up by the propellers. "Thank God. Sky-diving sounds awful! This was Tyler's idea, right?"

"I heard that!" Tyler yelled while he and Jarred tried to untangle his harness.

When I was sure that I wasn't going to throw up, I straightened up. "Well, how was your romantic helicopter ride?"

"Vomit-inducing," Kayley admitted as Dennis stumbled over, a little dazed. "But I got used to it. Oh my God - Dennis, are you alright?"

"Just an extreme fear of heights," he muttered. "Why don't we go sit on the pier? It feels like a good time to be sentimental."

The landing ground was essentially an open field beside the South Pointe Pier so it was a short walk to the docks. While Reid and Dennis went on ahead of us, Jarred and Kayley fell back to help Tyler with the rest of his harnesses. As soon as he was free, Tyler caught up and wrestled with Dennis, trying to push him into the water.

Reid left them to it, plopping down beside me on the edge of the pier.

"One year from now," I said to him. "Where will we all be?"

He tilted his face up to the night sky thoughtfully. "Do you want an honest answer?"

"You know I do."

"Well," Reid began and chuckled. "Tyler would eventually get his big break. Kayley and Jarred will be exhausted parents. Dennis would be drowning in work but it would pay off because he'll be top of his class at Harvard."

Behind us, I was pretty sure Jarred and Tyler were now engaged in an intimate heart-to-heart while Dennis and Kayley snickered.

"Me?" Reid shrugged as he considered it. "I'll be training during the day and catching up on lectures at night when I get home to my empty penthouse on the Upper East Side."

"Is that the future you imagined for yourself?"

"No - but it is what it is."

I wasn't sure how to reply to that and thankfully, I didn't have to because he went on.

"And you... you'll be crushing on the guy who sits behind you in the 9AM lecture." Reid turned to smile wistfully at me, charming as always. "He's the quiet, brooding type but when you go on your date, you'll wish you stayed home to finish off the paper due at midnight."

I laughed incredulously, wanting to tell him that quiet and brooding wasn't my type - my type was the boy who always picked too many battles. My type was the boy who would do anything for the people he loved and was more selfless than I'll ever be.

"Clear skies and bright stars," Reid mused almost to himself, his quiet voice snapping me out of my reverie. "Nat and I met on a night like this, thousands of miles away."

"You still think about her," I said before I could stop myself.

Reid's calculating gaze softened and he seemed to understand the question without me having to say it out loud. Despite how much I dreaded the answer, I valued his honesty above all else.

"Yeah," he said with finality. "I loved her."

My heart dropped but I bumped his shoulder lightly with mine. "Sounds complicated."

He moved closer and I looked over to find his smile regretful, a silent apology. The gold in his eyes shone especially bright tonight and he was so close I could feel the warmth of his skin without us touching. His attention shifted, lashes brushing his cheekbones as his gaze trained onto my mouth but I turned my head away, looking out over the bay.

Reid understood instantly and there was the briefest flash of disappointment on his face but it was nothing to how I felt. Forcing down the tightness in my chest, I wondered if I was dying or just experiencing my first ever heartbreak - either way, it was all the same.

"They're not ready for us, Lex." Reid's voice was rough, almost unsteady. "When the world is ready for you and me, I promise it'll be a better ending."

Is the world not ready? Or are you not ready?

"That's poetic," I said instead, swallowing the lump in my throat.

This time, he laughed for real but sobered quickly. "I need time to work on myself and my future. I'm not in the right mindset. That part is obvious enough."

"Me neither," I forced myself to admit. "This year has been... unexpected. But you're right. There is still so much work to do."

Under the night sky, he looked like some kind of dark angel and that ache in my chest seemed to split me right open. "I don't know if I'll ever get over Savannah's death," said Reid through a soft exhale. "I don't know if I'll ever move forward because there's just some shit I have to work out myself. But for what it's worth, that future you want... I can't wait to see what you do."

I nodded but in my mind, I could only think of right person, wrong time - that was the stupid, clichéd line ringing in my ears. I could see it in the way he smiled at me, lighter than he'd been in ages. I could feel it too and suddenly, this was a moment I wanted to hold onto forever because I knew reality would be crushing afterwards.

Then, I remembered something. "Wait - so what was on the flash drive?"

He raised his eyebrows, surprised at the question. "Pictures."

My jaw dropped in delight. "Nudes?"

"No!" Reid bolted upright, shooting me an unimpressed glare. "Vacation pictures from when I met Nat. Tyler found out and wanted to burn them but I ended up doing it myself."

Considering the trouble we went through to get the flash drive back, the pictures obviously meant a lot to him once upon a time.

"What changed your mind?" I asked curiously.

Reid shrugged as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. "You did."


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