JHO

The week was uneventful. Bea and I went through therapy and workout as scheduled. She was busy fixing some stuff for the whole week that I only got to spend time with her during our workout sesh.

Okay na sana yung araw namin today since Friday na and Im pretty sure hindi busy si Bea today hanggang sunday. I want to invite her sa condo since hindi kami ng sleepover this week. Ewan ko ba parang distracted siya this week.

I was browsing my phone while waiting for Bea to finish ng may tumabi sakin at inakbayan pa ako.

Timing naman pag angat ko ng tingin nag picture siya and nag IG story pa. I didnt wanna be rude kaya nagsmile nalang din ako. May pinagsamahan din naman kami.

Maya-maya ay may notification from IG. Nico tagged me sa story niya. At ang caption pa

I always look forward to training at the gym bc I get to see you.

Tapos may isa pang nakatag. This time photo naman. Tapos yung caption: Lunch?

Is he asking me out to lunch? Tanong ko sa isip ko.

"Uy Nico mema ka sa IG story mo. Tanggalin mo nga yan."

"Haha totoo kaya yan." Sabi naman niya.

"So ano, lunch tayo." Patuloy na sabi niya. At hinawakan pa ang kamay ko. Tumingin ako sa paligid. Baka kasi mapicturan na naman to eh. May mga tao kasi na siniship kami ni Nico eh friends lang naman talaga kami.

Nakita ko naman na palapit na si Bea samin. Tapos na ata magwork out at magbibihis na. Nakakunot ang noo at nakatingin sa kamay namin ni Nico.

Sasagot na sana ako pero naunahan na naman ako ni Nico.

"Sige na Jho. Friday naman eh. Wala ka naman cgurong ibang gagawin today."

"She's having lunch with me Nico." Ma awtoridad na sabi ni Bea.

"Resched nalang kayo Bea. Mas importante ang sasabihin ko sa kanya kesa sa lunch niyo."

Napataas ang kilay ko sa sinabi ni Nico but even before I could react nagsalita na si Bea.

"Well I think Jho can decide who she wants to have lunch with."

Bakas sa mukha ni Nico na naiinis na siya. Tinuro pa niya si Bea.

"Bat ka ba nangingi-alam Bea. PT ka lang naman ni Jho ah. Mas matagal yung pinagsamahan namin at nililigawan ko siya."

Nagsmirk si Bea bago nagsalita.

"Bakit Nico? Porket nililigawan mo si Jho may karapatan ka ng diktahan ang mga decisions niya? Di ka pa nga boyfriend ganyan ka na."

"Aba gago ka ah."

Sigaw ni Nico kay Bea at akmang susuntokin niya eto.

"Ano ba taman na nga." I had to intervene. Pumagitna ako sa dalawa pero kay Bea ako nakaharap.

"Sige na Bei. Raincheck nalang muna ako Bei. Kakausapin ko lang si Nico." Malumanay na sabi ko. Gusto ko siya yakapin at halikan at ipaliwanag ng maayos kung bakit yun ang decision ko pero masyado ng maraming taong nakatingin. Naka agaw kasi ng pansin yung pagsigaw ni Nico.

I saw the hurt in Bea's eyes bago ito umalis ng hindi man lang nagpapaalam.

Nico and I did not actually end up eating out for lunch. Pagkasakay namin ng sasakyan niya kinausap ko agad siya.

"Look Nico, sumama lang talaga ako sayo just to make things clear. "

Humarap ako sa kanya.

"Hindi ko naman sinabi na pwede mo akong ligawan diba? And it doesnt mean that I am single pwede na. I was only going out to lunch with you as a friend. I don't think naman na I lead you on with my actions. Alam mo yan."

"Look, you are a good guy but Im sorry pero di talaga pwede kaya please itigil mo na."

Hindi ko na siya binigyan ng chance na magsalita kasi magpupumilit lang naman yan.

I went out of his car and walked to the nearest taxi I could find. I knew there were a lot of eyes and cameras pointed at us but I couldnt care less.

I was so concerned about Bea. I know she was mad and she has to drive home pa. I kept texting her but hindi siya nag rereply.

Ayoko naman siyang tawagan kasi baka nagdadrive pa yun. Dumeresto ako sa bahay nila dad kasi alam ko doon siya pupunta eh.

Nakarating ako around 2 pm. I checked bea's car sa driveway pero wala ito. Wala rin kay dad.

Nagdoorbell nalang ako at agad naman akong pinapasok ng kasambahay nila.

Wala daw ang mga de Leon sa bahay nila. Pumunta daw sila ng Tarlac.

I ended up going home sa condo. Its gonna be a long day for me.

Ugh!

BEA

Nasaktan ako.

I was going to invite Jho to go to Tarlac with me and actually already had a bag packed for her para sa weekend namin with my family. The last time we went there together parang di pa ata kami nagkaka aminan. I dont know remember na.

Of course my lola and cousins know about our break up but wala naman silang ill feelings towards Jho.

It would have been nice kung kasama namin siya sa trip na to. It would take the whole weekend and all of my cousins are gonna be there.

There is no specific occasion. Nagkataon lang na free kaming lahat and we are all in the country so ayon nagkayayaan mag hangout kila lola.

Thats why I wanted Jho to be here sana.

Siguro okay na din to. Para I can take a step back and assess my situation with Jho. Kasi since I got back from the states, she has always been part of my day because of therapy.

Plus a lot has happened in the last four weeks. All positive of course but we have not talked about it at all. I know all the feelings are still there for both of us but I know that my fears are still there and it has intensified because of what happened today.

Plus I also need to take into consideration what effect this might have towards Ben. I am not 100% sure how to handle this.

I havent exactly told her where I am now or who I am with since all our phones were confiscated by lola or maybe one of our titas. I forget. Also I am a little bit drunk since the moment I arrived, a drink was immediately handed to me.

Old school bonding daw because busy daw kami most of the time and phones are a distraction. This has been going on for a few years now.

When we were young it was our gameboys, play stations and other gaming consoles that they confiscated to force us to actually talk to each other. Thats why sobrang close namin ng mga pinsan ko.

My cousins and I talked about life, mga plans namin, lovelife then at di naman ako nakalusot sa tanongan nila. At this point we are probably really drunk with very little control of our actions.

"So Ate Bei, kamusta naman lovelife mo?"

Muntik ko na maibuga ang iniinom ko buti nalang hindi. I smiled like an idiot and answered.

"Okay naman."

Safe answer coz I have not exactly told them that I was seeing Jho again.  Ayaw ko namang maging pulutan ng mga pinsan ko.

"Eh nakamove on ka na ba kay Ate Jho. "

Another one of my cousins asked.

And this was when all control left the room and I actually answered with what I truly feel.

"Define moved on?" Nakangiti kong sabi.

" kasi kung ang ibig sabihin ng move on ay kung okay na ba akong makita siya ng hindi umaasang pwede pa then no, i have not moved on. Hindi ko pa kayang makitang may kasama siyang iba ng hindi nasasaktan at hindi ko pa kaya yung thought na, may iba na siya at possibleng hindi na talaga pwede."

Pinunasan ko yung luha ko and ininom  yung natitiran beer sa bote.  Bigla namang natahimik yung mga pinsan ko. Alam kasi nila yung pinag daanan ko.

" Honestly guys, if Jho said she loves me, I would take her back in a heart beat. Willing akong kalimutan lahat ng sakit at hirap na dinanas ko to try to forget her nung nasa states ako. Kasi deep in my heart I know there is no one else for me."

I smiled bitterly.

Then my cousins hugged me. Like nag group hug kami kasi minsan lang naman talaga akong mag emote ng ganto. Im usually the happy kid in the group.

Patuloy lang kami sa pag inom at bonding hanggang almost 12 na. All my cousins have already passed out kay isa isa ko na silang ginising at hinatid sa respective rooms nila.

When I was done, kumuha pa akong isang bote ng beer at umupo lang sa may veranda facing the beach. Ginagawa ko na talaga to dati pa especially nung time na dito muna kami tumira ni Ben right after the break up.

I will just sit in my chair and quietly drink my beer.

Naubos ko na ang isang bote kaya napagpasyahan kong matulog na. Namakarating ako ng room ay bagsak agad ako sa kama.

Ilang minuto bago ako makatulog ay naalimpungatan ako. May naghubad ng sapatos at mejas ko at inayos ang higa ko sa kama. I was engulfed with a warm blanket and a big hug. But I am tired and dead drunk to open my eyes to check who it is kaya hinayaan ko nalang.

I woke up at noon the next day alone with a massive headache and a hangover.

The whole weekend was really fun. We went swimming and had a picnic at the beach. Sa gabi nagbonfire at inuman ulit kami. This time happy Bea na ulit ako. It helped take my mind off of my problem with Jho. We all went home on Sunday afternoon.

JHO

Practice was around 7 am sa BEG.

All of my teammates are outside waiting for the lady eagles practice to finish. Completo na kami sa labas and naka upo lang kami sa may parking lot at nag kukwentohan.

Nag uusap kami nila Jia at Ate Ella pero my mind is elsewhere.

Iniisip ko kung itetext ko si Bea o hindi. Alam din naman niya na dito na kami sa BEG ngayon pero wala pa siya. Impossible namang malate yun eh ang lapit lapit lang ng bahay nila.

Tatawagan ko na sana siya pero may naka agaw ng attention ko. Well attention naming lahat. May isang nakamotor na dumaan sa harap namin.

Unang naka agaw pansin ay ang tunog at itsura ng motor niya. Isa itong ducati scrambler na all black.

Huminto ang motor at bumaba na yung rider. Naka black ito na leather jacket with plain white tshirt na pang ilalim. Naka black skinny jeans ito at black high cut converse naman. Naka aviator sunglasses ito at may black backpack sa likod nito.

Sobrang pamilyar ang pigura nito.

Nanlake ang mga mata ko nang tinanggal niya ang black helmet niya.

WTF!!!

Beatriz naman bat ganyan ang porma mo???

Now I really have a problem. Ugh.

All eyes were on her now as she made her way towards us.

"Laway mo Jho." Panunukso ni Ate Ella at nagtawanan pa silang dalawa ni Jia.

Same as before kasi we made our relationship private kasi nga lesser issues and we can focus more on our relationship.

Pero now I see the cons of that.  Una, since fans think I am single and available siniship nila ako kay Nico and other athletes. Pangalawa, hindi ko mabakuran si Beatriz ngayon since nobody knows Im into girls too, well kay Bea lang naman. So yun.

Nakakainis at may malilintikan talaga mamaya. It was bad enough that she looks so hot in that outfit, nakamotor pa siya. I see how my teammates are looking at her.

"Hi Ella, Jia, Jho!" Lumapit samin at nagbeso pa. Pinandilatan ko siya when it was my turn to beso but she acted like she didnt care.

"Patay ka sakin mamaya." Bulong ko sa kanya but again parang wala lang sa kanya.

"Aga mo ata Bei. Mamaya pa naman yung therapy ni Jho. Excited ka masyado." Pang aasar ni Jia.

"Maaga talaga ako Ji coz Im trying to decide if I should accept the offer to be one of the team's PT. Sabi kasi ni coach kailangan niyo pa daw ng isa."

"Well Im sure magugustohan mo dito, diba Jho?" Wala ako sa mood makipag asaran sa kanila kaya umalis nalang ako.

Tinawagan ko si dad na ipakuha sa driver nila itong lintik na motor na to dahil sasabay na sakin si Bea. I dont like her in that motorcycle. Its unsafe and it gives her extra pogi points which I dont like.

Pagkatapos kung tawagan si Dad ay hinanap ko si Bea habang papasok na mga teammates ko sa gym. Hinatak ko siya at sinabi kay coach na susunod na kami.

"Akin na yung susi" mahinahon kung sabi ng nakalahad ang kamay sa kanya.

"Bakit ko naman bibigay eh paano ako uuwi."

"Susi sabi Beatriz." Mejo naiirita na ako at nakataas na ang kilay ko.

Pagkabigay niya ng susi ay pumasok na ako ng hindi nagsasalita sa loob ng BEG.

The team practice was really great but it was a nightmare for me. Not because nahihirapan ako sa drills or sa therapy ngunit dahil sa Bea na yan. Paano ba naman ang daming matang nakatutok kay Beatriz from ateneans to my teammates. At itong bakulaw naman ngiti ng ngiti. Minsan nga sa sobrang inis ko pinatamaan ko ng bola.

After practice I basically dragged Bea out of the Gym and into the car.

"Sakay!" Galit na galit ako sa kanya.

"But Jho..."

"Wala ng pero pero. Sakay!"

The drive to the condo was silent. Ako nagpipigil lang ng galit kasi ayaw ko mag-away kami sa sasakyan. Ayoko namang maaksidente kami ng dahil dun. Bea was also quiet. Nag music lang ito at hindi man lang ako tinataponan ng tingin.

Pagkapasok namin sa condo hindi padin ito nagsasalita.

"Wala ka bang sasabihin sakin Beatriz?" Tanong ko sa kanya still trying to control my temper.

"Bakit? May kailangan ba akong sabihin. You dragged me here so I assume you have something to say." Sarcastic at pilosopo niyang pagkasabi.

"Ah ganon. For the whole weekend wala akong narinig from you ni ha, ni ho and then you show up sa team practice in that God damn motorcycle! And why didn't you tell me that you were offered a position as team PT?"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko. Nagalit na ako at tuloyan ng tumaas ang boses ako. I was super worried the whole weekend. Tumayo si Beatriz at tiningnan ako.

"Bakit ko ba sasabihin sayo? Ano ba kita?"

Umalis na siya agad.

Naiwan akong tulala at hindi makapaniwala sa mga sinabi niya.

____

Sabaw update.

I was busy the whole weekend sorry guys.

I hope the next one is better.