It was to my great relief when the bell for lunch finally rang. I'd been waiting for it to ring since the lesson started.

"I'm so hungry!" I said, throwing my pencil case into my backpack. "Hurry up, let's go!"

Nolan yawned as he stood up. "I thought you ate breakfast this morning."

"Yeah, but it's lunch now," I said, tapping my feet on the floor. "My French toast was already gone by second period!"

"You have the biggest appetite I've ever seen in anyone," he said, following me to the door of the classroom.

To be fair, it had gotten bigger after I started putting in real effort during gym class. I wanted to keep myself in decent shape so that I wouldn't have to rely too much on Nolan while we were in the forest. Despite knowing that it was a natural result of regular practice, I was still amazed that I could actually run for a longer period of time before getting out of breath now.

Nolan fell into step beside me as we went out into the hallway.

Trying not to look at his laidback gait felt impossibly difficult. Even the way he walked was attractive. I didn't want to get carried away and accidentally stare too much.

"I'm putting the food to good use," I said, frowning at him. "My brain needs the fuel!"

"Of course, whatever makes you feel better about it," he said, nodding.

All he did was smile back at me when I narrowed my eyes at him.

He let out another yawn. "I think I'll be sleeping at the table today. I probably won't be eating."

"Oh, are you tired?"

I was kind of surprised that he wasn't planning on going to the library to take his nap, but I decided not to remind him of that option.

"Yeah," he said. "I'll still study with you guys later, though. I'll be okay if I just nap a bit during lunch and the other classes."

I'd been totally prepared for him to tell me that he couldn't make it later, so his reply came as a surprise. I didn't exactly want to discourage him from spending time with me, but he did seem pretty exhausted.

"Okay, if you're sure," I said. "You don't have to push yourself if you're too tired."

Yawning again, he rubbed at his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure."

---------------------------------------------------

"Am I hallucinating?"

My curiosity was piqued at Ashley's question.

"What is it?" I said.

She blinked hard as she stared down the hallway we were walking through. We were heading back to the dormitories after dinner. Several feet behind us, Derek and Melissa were arguing over something I hadn't bothered to pay attention to.

"Do you see that?" She pointed to the left, where there were a couple of students strolling in the same direction as us.

"Um," I said, squinting my eyes, "not really? Do you know those people?"

An exasperated look crossed her face. "Not the people. That—on the floor."

"The floor?"

I followed her as she took a few steps towards the alleged spot.

Now that I was standing a little closer, I could see what she was talking about—there was a small dark shadow on the ground, touching the wall. It kind of looked familiar. I shuffled a little closer to get a better look.

"Oh," I said, staring down at it.

It was a bat.

In fact, it was the same bat we'd encountered a few times in school last semester. I knew because I remembered the conversation I'd had with Derek—there was a prominent gray marking on its back.

"Isn't this the same one we saw last time?" Ashley said, frowning. "Why does it keep returning to our school?"

"What are you guys doing?" Melissa said, stepping up to my side. "Oh, what, again? We've seen this five times this month already."

"What? Really?" I goggled at her.

"Yeah," Derek said. "All in different places, too. And it's the same one we saw last year, isn't it?"

"Don't bats hibernate or something?" Ashley said. "Shouldn't it be sleeping somewhere or something?"

"Do they?" I pulled my phone out. "I should look it up."

"Maybe it's lost," Melissa said. "Every time Derek and I see it, it's always struggling to fly back out to the forest."

Derek nodded in agreement. "It's really weird. Like, how many times are you going to end up back here?"

Ashley's face peered over my shoulder. "So, what does it say? Do they hibernate?"

"Yeah, they usually hibernate or migrate, supposedly," I said, showing my phone screen to her.

"That is so weird," she said.

Shrugging, Derek took a step backwards. "It's just a bat."

"You wouldn't be saying that if you saw a grizzly bear lumbering around in our school during winter," Ashley said, crossing her arms.

"Yes, but it's not a bear," he said. "What would a bear be doing here, anyway?"

"You could ask the exact same thing about this bat," Ashley said.

The aforementioned bat began twitching. I briefly fantasized about how it had woken up after hearing us gossip about it.

"Watch," Melissa said. "It's totally going to start flying back to the forest."

"It's going to freeze to death out there," Derek said.

Melissa snorted. "I don't think so. It's had weeks to do that, but it's still alive."

"Barely alive," he said, tilting his head in its direction. "Look at it and tell me that's a healthy animal."

"Good point," Ashley said.

She spoke at the same time Melissa said, "It's a healthy animal."

"Excuse me? What part of that bat looks healthy and active to you?" Derek did not look impressed.

I snorted. Slowly, the bat struggled to get to its feet. It stumbled as it attempted to crawl forward.

Melissa gave him a grin that was in equal parts sweet and smug. "You asked me to 'tell you'. That's exactly what I did. Besides, how can you tell that it's unhealthy? Are you an expert on bats?"

We began walking again.

"I don't have to be an expert on bats to know that there's probably something wrong with it," he told her. "Do you have to be a professional chef to know that someone's cooking sucks? No, I didn't think so."

"Haven't you heard of acquired taste? Maybe you should be a professional chef if you want to give critique," Melissa said, shaking her head.

"That's not how it works!"

"Hey, Chels," Ashley suddenly said, nudging me with her shoulder. "I finally finished that book I was telling you about. Did you ever get a chance to read it?"

I beamed at her. "Really?! I actually just finished it yesterday! What did you think of the ending?"

Just like that, we happily ignored Melissa's and Derek's little squabble as we headed back to the dorms.

---------------------------------------------------

The frost in the air was practically visible.

Or maybe I was just imagining things because it was one in the morning, and I probably shouldn't be able to see much in this inky darkness.

Snow fell at a languid pace.

There was something elegant about the way the snow had outlined the numerous trees it'd fallen on. Most of them were already bare, but it just added to the quiet atmosphere in the forest.

The absence of the sounds made by nearby birds, owls, and crickets that I'd grown accustomed to hearing almost felt kind of unsettling. As if something were missing, I found myself looking around every now and then.

"Is it that cold?" Nolan said, watching me cover the bottom half of my face with my muffler.

"I wish they made mufflers for lungs," I said. "Aren't you freezing?"

What was the point of being all bundled up when a single intake of breath sent a searing sensation through my lungs?

"I'm fine," he said.

I vaguely recalled how he'd handed me his comforter without a second thought at the astronomy club's open event last year. He'd had no problem with getting drenched in the rain the other time in the forest, either. Nolan was really hardy—kind of like those everything-resistant sports watches they advertised for people who hiked in extreme weather conditions.

"Yeah, you look fine," I said, not bothering to disguise the envy creeping into my tone.

Sure, he was wearing gloves, but that was all. There was no protective covering around his neck. The black parka he had on wasn't even zipped. How could he bear this cold?!

He lowered his binoculars. "If it's too cold for you, do you want to go back?"

"No," I said, shaking my head. "It's not that bad."

It wasn't bad enough for me to want to return to the warmth of my room, anyway. This was really the only time I got to be alone with Nolan, and I wasn't about to let a little bit of cold encroach on it. I could handle it.

"Maybe this will help."

He pulled out a small thermal flask—it was about half the length of my forearm—from his fanny pack and handed it to me.

With raised eyebrows, I removed one of my hands from my muffler to take it. "What's this?"

"Hot chocolate," he said. "I made it before meeting you, since you looked like you were freezing last week, too. Actually, I was going to ask if you wanted to stop coming for the time being, but I figured you would tell me if you couldn't handle it."

I wanted to reply, but I was so stunned by his thoughtfulness that I was rendered speechless. When I opened the flask, steam from the hot beverage drifted up into the air in front of me, made even larger and more visible by the cold weather. The sweet, delicious scent of cocoa wafted to my nose.

My heartbeat refused to give it a rest as I inhaled tentatively. Nolan had made this just for me. I could take it as proof that he was thinking of me, right?

My lungs sighed in contentment at the soothing warmth, and a smile automatically made its way onto my face.

"Thank you," I said. "This is perfect."

"You haven't even tried it yet," he said.

I rolled my eyes. "It's warm, and that's all it needs to be perfect!"

Regardless, I lifted it to my mouth and took a sip anyway. It tasted like regular instant hot chocolate, but right then, it was the best drink I'd ever had.

"I feel so much better," I said, grinning up at him. "Want some?"

"No, thanks," he said. "I don't really like hot chocolate."

Bewilderment filled my mind. "Wait, you don't? Then why did you have it on hand to make it?"

He shrugged. "I got it for you. You eat the chocolate flavored desserts like it's your last day on earth, so I thought you'd like hot chocolate too."

No way.

"You don't have to throw shade on my very healthy appetite," I informed him, hoping against hope that he couldn't see me blushing since it was so dark. "Just so you know, your first sentence was enough."

"You know what, now that I think about it, you do that for all the desserts," he continued, clearly warming up to the idea I'd accidentally given him. "You're obviously not picky."

"I—"

I'll like anything that you get for me.

He looked at me questioningly when I clapped my other hand over my mouth to save myself from massive embarrassment.

What was wrong with me? I really needed to get a grip!

I managed to pull myself together enough to think of something else to say. "You're right, by the way. If I wanted to call it off, I would've just told you."

"Yeah," he said, brushing some snow off his shoulders. "It's just that Blue's hibernating, and most of the trees are leafless during this time of the year. Apart from the stars, there isn't much else here."

There's you.

"What is wrong with me?" I heard myself say before I even registered the words in my mind.

He turned to me. "What?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

The heat in my cheeks, which had subsided just a few seconds ago, came rushing back in full force.

I was right. Liking Nolan was completely horrible. I had to find some way to reverse this, and fast, or I'd end up exposing myself soon.

---------------------------------------------------

AN: fun fact! another word for leafless is defoliated! it's technically Tuesday now (midnight for me here), but have a great week ahead, everyone! thank you for reading, and especially to those who vote--i notice you, even if you don't comment but just leave me a vote. you really make my day when a notification like that pops up, so i really appreciate you! lots and OCEAAAANS of love, take care and stay safe! ʸ(ᴖ́◡ु⚈᷉)♡⃛ I WILL REPLY TO ALL YOUR COMMENTS TOMORROW MORNING!

part 51 is dedicated to MoonLightAngel999 for making my day so much better with your support for this story, and i just want to say how much i love you for that!! you are an absolute delight and i appreciate you a lot! (ෆˊ͈ ु꒳ ूˋ͈ෆ)