Chapter Nineteen: The City That Never Sleeps

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I stepped out of the apartment building, breathing onto my hands to warm them up in this freezing weather. Even when I asked Sam to come with me, he flat out refused and said that there was nothing that could make him get out of the house where it was nice and warm.

Well, fuck him for leaving me to Christmas shop all alone.

The first thing in my agenda was to buy myself a venti hot steaming coffee because for one, jetlag was still killing me and two, I desperately needed something to warm me up.

As I was waiting for the barista to call my name, somebody tapped me on the shoulder. I whipped around to see a grinning Justin, his gloved hands wrapped tightly around his drink.

"Hey!" I smiled, reaching up to give him a one arm hug, "Fancy meeting you here."

The amount of times I've seen him before in this exact store was actually amusing now that I think about it. Just a small peak of his features got me hiding behind the nearest person, praying that he wouldn't see me and now look where we are now.

You know what this was? Growth.

"When I heard from the girls that you were back, I didn't believe it because last time I remember, you were going tell me when you were going to come home," he chuckled just as I heard my name being called by the barista. After I got my drink, we walked out of the large Starbucks, mentally cursing the temperature again.

"Sorry about that, I was just busy trying to settle everything down," I laughed, walking down the line of stores, "You're Christmas shopping too?"

He nodded in response, bathing us in silence. I gladly sipped on my drink, the hot temperature instantly warming up my freezing lips. I sighed happily, a new spring in my step thanks to the beverage. It took me some time before I realized he was no longer right next to me.

I stopped on my tracks and looked over my shoulder to see him staring right at me, a soft gentle smile on his face, "It's so good to see you again, Sienna."

That adorably handsome face, I have longed to see it in person once again. To have those brown eyes hidden behind those glasses to once again meet my own gaze, "It's good to see you too," I laughed, nudging my head to signal that we should continue on, "Come on."

As we walked side by side, it felt like we never left each other in the first place. He still went on and on about a particular thing that piqued his interest and I would simply listen attentively. Because if there was one thing that Justin had, it was passion. Whether it was with his favorite type of cheese or the new series he was binge watching, he could go on and on about without having the enthusiasm leave his features for a single moment.

He was one of the catalysts for me to adore descriptions so much. I've liked it because it gave life to a simple phrase, it allows you to fully understand just how important it is to a character.

And that was Justin – he breathed life to so many things he loved. Maybe, just maybe, I was one of them.

I really did miss him.

"By the way, are you busy tonight?"

"Not really," I answered, pausing for a second to admire one of the outfits being shown on a display window, "Why?"

"The guys and I are planning to do something like good ol' time's sake," he said happily, the same spark of mischief never leaving his eyes, "How about you tell the girls to meet us by the subway at nine tonight?"

Just by the mention of the subway and the particular hour, I knew what he was thinking of. During those years before our parents were lenient enough to let us go on a road trip on our own, we used to sneak out during that time of the night and just enjoy the city that never sleeps up until sunrise, when we will tiptoe ourselves back home and pretend that nothing happened.

I was pretty sure my mother wasn't that stupid and clueless but she allowed me to do it nonetheless because from what I heard, she used to do the same thing when she was my age.

Last year and the one before that, we didn't do it for the obvious reason that our friendship group knows clearly well the friction between Justin and I, but since everything was alright now, it was time to do what our high school selves thought was the greatest act of rebellion.

With nothing but my phone and wallet in my coat pockets, I excused myself by telling my parents that I was just going to run to the convenient store at the other side of the street. They didn't mind – in fact, ever since I got home, they weren't as strict as they used to be and I attributed that to the fact that I've actually managed to survive on my own in another country.

Gracie was waiting at the lobby and after sharing a quick embrace, we hurried to the spot. I was met with a chorus of greetings as if this was some teary reunion, which it was considering I was the only one absent during their get together back in Thanksgiving.

The last of our friends arrived and we smiled at each other, "Ready?"

And we ran around through the streets of New York. Not necessarily doing anything, but just for the sake of it. We bought ice cream even in this frigid weather and laughed at the skeptical looks passersby gave us. We used our subway cards to their full advantage, hopping from station to station with each having another extraordinarily ordinary thing to do.

We leaped down from the benches of Central Park, earning glares from the police officers patrolling around. We posed in the middle of Times Square, the illuminated billboards flashing colored lights onto our faces. We jumped around in front of the many museums scattered around the city, not even minding that they were all closed.

This is what people really meant when they say to enjoy your youth. Be reckless and spontaneous, it's alright to get into a little trouble because right now, we were escaping our responsibilities.

"I'm tired," one of us plopped down on the stairs leading up to the many high rise buildings, "I remember having so much energy back then."

The boys returned from buying bottles of water from the cart vendor nearby. When Justin handed mine, his palm stayed open even after I took my drink from him. I glanced down on it then back up at him, his smile almost giving me a nostalgic sense.

"Let's run?" he dared and I heard a collection of hoots and wolf whistles coming from our friends. Not the one to ruin the fun, I grinned when I placed my hand in his and he pulled me along with him. I stared at his back as we weaved through the people walking on the sidewalk.

I didn't even know where we were running to, everything felt like a blur and I just placed my outmost trust on him. He dragged me around until we came to a complete stop in front of a building which I recognized perfectly because this was where I went to during those times when I didn't feel like coming home right away after school.

This was where he lived.

He went straight for the elevator and instead of pressing the floor to his apartment, he chose the highest one. I leaned back against the metal walls, remembering the last moment I was here, how I knew that we were leading to a break up and yet, I placed myself in a delusion.

A delusion that we were still living that whirlwind high school romance.

We got out when we reached the designated floor and we walked to the very end until we reached a flight of stairs. The climb wasn't long and the moment we saw the plastic door, he hurried up. It was locked, as it always used to be, but Justin had found a way around it. He pressed down the doorknob and twisted it as he slammed his body against the door.

It swung open and he shot me a cheeky smirk when his old technique still worked. I checked my phone for the time – 3:30am and the city shone beautifully. The sky was dark, not a single star in sight because the lights coming from the city overpowered it.

And I was in love with this view.

The wind whipped my hair around, turning my tame locks into a bird's nest and yet, in front of my ex, I didn't care. Because the first time I was here, I didn't look at the skyline but I looked at him because as cliché as it sounded, he was all that I saw.

But now, the small liking I had for the town in England where my university was located almost felt nonexistent. I was a city girl through and through so yes, the stars may wow me and the quiet tranquility might give me peace, but the thousand beams of light coming from the buildings and the rowdy noises even at this early in the morning immersed me into an emotion I could never replace. It was home – this was home.

"I knew you missed this," I heard Justin say, "You used to always beg me to take you here just so you could stare at the view so I instantly knew that I had to bring you here again."

What he may never know was that I only asked him to do that because I always enjoyed being alone here with him. No friends to give us teasing smirks, no parents hovering in the other room, no strangers judging us for innocent public displays of affection. When we were on this rooftop, all the world and time were ours.

"I do love it," I sighed contentedly, "Thank you."

The fact that I've been gone for months made me yearn for this place more and more. I can never move away, I can't even fathom the thought of permanently leaving.

Glancing towards him, I noticed that he wasn't marveling at the same sight as I was because his gaze was trained onto me. I paused for a moment before I attempted to resist the frown threatening to show.

"When you said no during that time I asked you to get back together..." he trailed off, unsure of how to continue. I bit my lip, taking a step towards him as I reached down to grab his hand because I already knew where this was going.

"Ever since we broke up, all I dreamt about was you knocking on my door and asking me to be yours again," I admitted, grasping onto it as if it was the last time I would do so. It wasn't, because whether I'd like to admit it or not, he was someone I hold very dear to my heart, "But you didn't."

"I thought you hated me."

Maybe it was better that we did go on our separate ways because I think we found ourselves to where we were supposed to be. A gathering like this was a reminder of where we came from, but it doesn't necessarily meant that this was where we belonged right now.

He wasn't my present just like I wasn't his.

Because I met a guy who showed me everything that Justin didn't. He presented the skyline and city lights while Adam gave me those pink clouds and stars. Justin made me do the craziest things and made me laugh the hardest while Adam placed me back firmly on the ground and got me back on track, shedding happiness back into my slump filled days.

I brought his hand to my lips, pressing a light kiss on his skin, "I loved you so much that I couldn't get you out of my head. It came to the point when I had to write a book about us and now that I'm saying it out loud, it sounds so stupid and ridiculous."

"You have a new man, don't you?"

Still perceptive even when he tries to hide it.

I smiled unconsciously at the thought because Adam and I weren't in a relationship but we did have our moments. Still, I considered it a yes, "Yeah."

"And he's everything that I wasn't?" he continued and I only managed to nod in response. He chuckled lightly, feeling him rest his forehead on top of my scalp, "You were and will always be my only high school sweetheart."

As flirty as he was, he admitted that I was the only stable girlfriend he had. In tune with this, he was the only boyfriend that I thought of so deeply like this. Those before him were just puppy love, only few got past the first date. But him? He used to be my everything.

"And you're mine," I whispered to his chest. We still had a long way to go, our paths were not meant to meet again just yet.

We just stayed like that for who knows how long. The loud noises coming from the streets, the breeze whipping all around, and just our breathes mingling with the air.

It was for the best that I left or else, I would have come running back to him when it wasn't time.

"Shall we head back, love?" I suggested with an obnoxious attempt for a British accent. He laughed as he released me, leading the way downstairs after he had locked the door once again. We texted our friends so that we could meet up one last time before we had to sneak back in order to beat the sunrise.

They sent suggestive winks towards our way – something the both of us shrugged off.

We headed towards our last destination, the place that started it all. Four and a half years ago, all of us entered this building with our pubescent minds and bodies, thinking we were all that for getting into high school.

The first few weeks when we didn't know each other seemed like it didn't happen because of how close we all are today. But it did, there was a time when we passed the hall without even stopping to say hello because we were unaware of each other's existence.

We all rounded up the back where it was hidden from the main streets. This wasn't the first time for us to sneak inside without anybody knowing – we used to do this all the time when we studied here. Seeing the piece of rock that was still miraculously there, we used it as a stepping stone to help us reach the very top of the fence. We jumped up, latched onto the fence, and used it as leverage to pull us up. We maneuvered our body so that we could fall down on the other side and when we turned around after that, we were met by the sight of the school field.

If we squinted our eyes, we could see the tables lining up to where we used to hang out during lunch time. And as we walked towards the middle, I stopped for a quick second on the very spot where Justin asked me out.

This place was filled of so many memories – good and bad.

Unfortunately, all of the school entrances were locked so we couldn't get into the building. Instead of breaking and entering, we sat down on our old table and although they've repainted it since then, I could picture the useless things we used to scribble on its surface.

"Hey, let's recreate this!" one requested enthusiastically, showing a photo of us back in sophomore year. My eyes instantly zoomed in to where I was – Justin's arm was wrapped around my shoulder and I was leaning happily against him even though I was laughing and facing towards my other friend.

Oh those carefree days.

The person who suggested it was the one guiding us and demanding that we do the exact same pose. Justin slung his arm on my shoulder after silently asking me for permission, then I turned towards my friends who glanced my way like she did in the original picture.

Since it was so dark out, we all had our phones down on the ground pointing towards us with their flashlights open to somehow illuminate ourselves. We used one phone on timer, balancing it dangerously on a pile of rocks that we gathered from along the field.

After tapping on capture, she raced to her position and we froze in our poses. Even though we were expecting it, we were still surprised by the bright flash that went off. The owner on the phone looked down on the photo and gave a thumb up, satisfied with our shot.

Unlike the time when we had to get in, getting out was harder since we didn't have a rock to step on. We managed to go back by placing ourselves in a series of carrying, pulling, and pushing each other.

"I'm going to post this on Instagram," she mentioned, referring to the picture we just took, "Anyone got a problem with that?"

Nobody disagreed with her since our parents didn't really follow us on that particular social media. We parted ways right after and at exactly 4:00, I carefully got inside the apartment and sneakily went inside my room where I tucked myself into bed and instantly fell asleep due to the tiredness that the day caused.

I had a good lay in and when I turned to my side when I woke up, it was already approaching noon. Like the usual me, I checked my phone first and I grinned when the notification that I was tagged on a picture on Instagram was flashed on.

Years had gone but you guys are still my favorite.

The first picture showed the original one and when I swiped across it, it was the version which we took last night. I was quite impressed that we managed to do it even though all of our brains must have been fogged up with sleep by that point.

Although I couldn't help but laugh at the comparison. The one taken during our high school years had lower quality but you could see how radiant our faces were, and anybody could even notice the stark difference between our young features back then to what we looked like now. And when I stared at the latest picture – we just looked like a mess. Given that we were running around New York City for the whole night and none of the girls bothered with the makeup, we appeared tired and fatigue, both because of the bigger stress of college and just the circumstances of when it was taken.

There was one thing that stayed – the raw enjoyment between all of us.

The bags were heavy under our eyes, our hairs were tangled messes, the fashionable outfits we wore during that spring day was replaced by heavy coats and scarves to provide us warmth from the cold winter. Mature and worn yet the spark was still as bright as it used to be.

I liked the picture and commented a heart before I threw off the covers from my body and finally dragged myself out of bed. Mom didn't say anything when I got down after I took a shower, she simply gestured to the food resting on the kitchen counter. I grabbed a plate and served myself a portion before I headed back into my room.

Like a routine, I took my phone and facetimed Adam. Ever since I got back, there wasn't a single day when I didn't have a call with him. Usually, he was the one to call first but I guess that it was my turn to do it.

His face popped on my screen and I grinned widely, excited to tell him of all the escapades that had happened last night, "Hey!"

"Hi," was his only reply and I was taken aback by his tone. More often than not, he was more or less as enthusiastic as I was during these talks but right now, his voice was implying that he wanted to end it immediately.

"Are you in the middle of something?" I questioned, grabbing my fork so I could at least start eating my first meal of the day, "I could call back if you want."

"No," he shook his head, "No, it's alright."

There was annoyance laced in his voice and I was never the one to pry, but being held in the dark and waiting patiently for information to come to me wasn't my strong suit.

"Then what's wrong?"

He was silent for a moment before he started grumbling words under his breath. I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion, even going as far as pressing the speaker against my ear in attempt to pick up what he was saying, "Can you repeat that?"

"It's nothing," he held off and I unintentionally stabbed my fork harder on my food than I planned.

I've had enough of broken communication so I wasn't going to drop this call until I get to the bottom of this.

"For god's sake, just tell me what's going on," I groaned, pushing my plate to the side, "I don't want my mood to go down after it went up so high last night."

Apparently, that was his trigger because his physically features now reflected the aggravation that was rumbling in him, "Well I'm so glad you had fun then."

His sarcastic delivery was enough to frustrate me and if he was

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