"What's wrong?" Meg asked when I didn't move, "You look like you've seen a ghost."

I was afraid that I was going to turn into one.

"What time did you manage to drag me out of the party last night?" I questioned, taking calming breaths but still refusing to sit down.

"About half past ten or maybe it was eleven, why?" Julia answered and I quickly did the math inside my head. There was more or less a five-hour time difference between here and there so if I think about it now, it meant that I called him at ten.

I know for a fact that these two brought me home the minute they saw me so that meant that I called him up when I was darn busy downing those beers. Also meaning that there was not a single person who could tell me what stupidity I've told him.

The wisest thing to do here was to go call him back and apologize for whatever I blabbered about. I was wholly prepared to do it when my phone rang again and I was expecting it to be him. I took an exaggerated deep breath, mentally preparing myself. However, when I peeked at the screen, it was flashing an unknown number.

Look at this, it's only eight in the morning and nothing has been going as they expected.

I answered it, waiting for the caller to speak out with a hopeful feeling that I might recognize them from their voice. I didn't need to play 'guess who?' since the person already introduced herself the minute I said hello, "Hi, this is Heart Valentine."

My heart started racing and I was torn apart with either being scared shitless or being completely starstruck.

Because if you have Hollywood's Princess calling you directly, you should be jumping up and down speechless with excitement, but that's not the case when you're stuck in the situation wherein you're in an argument with her beloved best friend.

Even if you were mostly the victim here.

Meg and Julia were still looking at me and I quickly excused myself, practically sprinting out of the dining hall and up to my room. Heart was quiet for most of the way, waiting for me to speak and although that was polite of her, I could barely talk so she might as well hang up.

Dear universe, help me get through this.

Sensing that I've chosen to become mute for this conversation, I heard her release a heavy sigh, "I just want to apologize for what happened last night with you and Adam."

Again, she waited for my reply but I didn't provide her with one so she kept talking, "I don't know how much Adam told you about me but I love him, whether that is just as a best friend or more is up to you."

I was well aware that she loved him more than as a friend. So completely aware that I was regretting every single damn day since I got on that airplane.

"And when he told me about you, he was so excited and I assumed that he likes you," she said, "And I pushed him to make a move and him being Adam, complied just to satisfy my meddling."

And there I heard the deep-seeded affection she held for him. She was thankful that he was like that and at the same time, she wanted the very best out of him. She wanted his happiness, just as much as he wanted hers. She cares for him, she wouldn't be calling me right now if she didn't.

Now I had the answer to the excruciating question that I had for them: Why were they still close? It was because unlike my relationship with my ex, theirs was strong and withstanding and was bounded through time with trust and mutual understanding. May it be friendship or romantic love, the exchange between them was equal. They know that something like a confession of wanting more than being best friends shouldn't break off the greatest thing they shared.

Compared to them, my past relationship sounded so shallow and immature.

"I understand," I murmured, surprising us both that I actually said something.

Because Adam did it because he wanted her to smile and she did it because of the same reason towards him.

"Take care of Adam for me," her tone was almost pleading, a wish of a vow in her voice, "He's my best friend."

And she was strong to keep being somebody so close to him after he rejected her. I was jealous actually, because she didn't give up.

"Yes," quick replies were the only things that I could manage to say and with one last thank you, she dropped the call and I was left staring at my phone.

And even so I kind of promised her that, I think it would be best for me to just cut off all ties and save myself from any further harm. I never signed myself up for this, it just so happened to be that the guy who sat next to me on the plane was not some ordinary man.

I understood why they did what they did, but that did not excuse them for using me like that. I was a person too, somebody who was on the road to being the better version themselves just as they were. They had zero right to treat me like that.

You love each other? Don't do it at the expense of other people.

I grabbed my bag and pulled out Uncle Levi's sketchbook, roughly flipping it over to the pages where I wrote in. Funny enough, it had my small and short adventures with Adam in it as well my rumbling emotions when they happened.

Grabbing all the pages, I tore them all away and crumpled them into one big sphere, clutching it in my hands and taking deep breaths so I wouldn't turn into a sobbing mess once again.

"He's here, by the way," Julia knocked on the door softly and I instantly knew who she was referring to. She saw the sketchbook sitting on my lap and the torn pages clutched in my hands. Her eyebrows knitted together to show concern and I swallowed heavily while shaking my head, silently telling her not to ask.

I think she knew from the moment she saw me alone at the party, without my supposed date and drunk out of mind, that something happened between Adam and I. She was being cautious though, she didn't pry or any of that sort.

I stood from my seat on my bed and walked towards the stairs with her following me. I don't know whether he sent Heart to apologize or not but I've given up on my mission to find out.

Being fooled once was enough for me.

When I saw him there at the entrance hall, we didn't say a word to each other. We just stared with this silence and instead of starting a conversation in here where anybody could eavesdrop, I went past him and opened the door, walking out of the dormitory.

I could hear his footsteps behind me and stopped when we were at an adequate distance from everybody else.

I noticed something in his hand and he lifted it up to reveal my book, he flipped it open and read the lines that I, myself, have written, "The thing I regret the most was not fighting for something I knew that could work out if I tried a little harder. He was already there, all I had to do was to stretch my arm a little further."

Quoting your own work to yourself, now I know what Uncle Levi felt.

He closed the book and gaze right up to me, "You're already there, all I have to do is stretch my arm a little further.

"I wouldn't recommend it," I shook my head as I took another step back, "I haven't taken a shower yet and I still reek of alcohol."

The tension was so evident that my coping mechanism was to make a joke about this. Not the greatest idea but my brain was barely functioning in the first place, the hangover may have suddenly left because of the adrenaline rush earlier during my first phone call of the day, but I've barely eaten, I haven't taken any painkillers, and my body was still screaming at me to go back to bed.

"I'm sorry, Sienna," he told me, knocking himself on the head, "I did a very dumb move."

I looked at him and then I felt the crunching papers in my hand, causing my shoulders to slump in sadness. Taking a deep breath, I closed my mouth shut and approached him, taking his hand then placing the papers on top of his palm, closing his fingers around it, "Throw it or whatever, I don't care anymore."

His eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as he uncrumpled the papers and tried to smoothen it out with his hands, paying close attention to the writing so he could decipher it. When he figured it out, his eyes glanced up to show me this expression of disbelief. He scrambled around with his words, "Sienna... don't please. Be angry with me, but this is your work."

This was not some dramatic breakup, there was never an us and we never had a shot for a relationship because we didn't like each other.

I snuck my hands in-between his to feel the paper under my skin and as I closed my eyes, I ripped the pages apart, my heart tearing up with it.

"Have a good day," I showed him a tightlipped smile, walking around him and heading back to my dorm. He called my name but I ignored it, willing my legs to go faster.

So when I got back, I took a well-deserved shower and I wanted to stop Meg and Julia from their worrying looks so I plastered a grin on my face and tried to act cheery, "Hey, want to eat out for lunch then maybe let's go clubbing later tonight?"

"I know a pub nearby," Meg raised her hand but Julia shot her down by an incredulous look.

"I think we should stop with the alcohol for now."

"Fine," I groaned, grabbing my phone, "I'll sleep over at my cousin's tonight, if you don't mind."

Fortunately, Uncle Levi had already saved his, Aunt Janine's, Emma's, and Andy's numbers into the device before handing it over to me. I called up Emma and asked her if I could stay and she eagerly agreed, mentioning how it had been a while since we had a sleepover.

I packed a bag, told our dorm mother that I would be leaving, and said goodbye to the two before heading my way. The chances of me bumping into Adam were high, considering that they were neighbors, but as long as I kept an eye out, I can stay away from any unexpected circumstances that I desperately wanted to avoid.

When I was near, I texted Emma so she could wait for me at the lobby and I was met with an embrace then we proceeded to go to their apartment.

"It's just me for a few hours," she said as we entered, closing the door behind her, "Dad is at the university, mum is at work, and Andy is off to who knows where."

I spotted her easel at the edge of the living room, a canvas perched on it. She excused herself to grab us both a drink while I walked closer to her work.

It was unfinished but it already showed what she wanted to portray. There was a bridge and a river underneath, reflecting a burst of colors blended perfectly. On top of the bridge showed the silhouette of two people, they were at different ends but if you turn back to the river, their figures were now close to each other, their hands intertwined.

"River Future," I heard her say, approaching me and handing me a glass of soda, "That's its name."

"Can I ask why?"

She smiled and grabbed a long paintbrush, using the tip to point towards the different elements of the painting, "Something is different with that river, it's colorful which will be a contrast with the sky that I'm going to paint."

For now, the top of the canvas was just a clumsy layer of dark hues so I assume that was where she left off before she came and got me, "And these two, they don't know each other yet and they're unaware of each other's existence but this river shows that at some point, they're going to fall in love."

"You're incredible Emma," I murmured, bending in order to get a closer look, "I don't know how you do it."

"I only got an inspiration after I finished dad's book cover," she went over to the other canvases leaning against the wall and took one in her hands, flashing to me her painting of a man in the middle of an explosion of paints as if she just took a large brush and went loose. At first, you wouldn't think much, but in fact, it showed how much vibrancy Uncle Levi's story might portray, how all of those colors surround the main lead.

A fact not known to others was that Emma has designed all of her father's and brother's book covers since she learned about her passion for art. The first one she ever did was just a simple umbrella in front of a red background. It was minimalist but soon, it became louder and louder. They were a team, she worked around his words while he'll be so ambiguous that she has freedom of interpretation that would allow her own mind to express itself in the most beautiful ways.

And the results were always spectacular.

"How's is it going with your story?" she questioned, placing the canvas back against the wall, "Any progress."

"I've decided to start again," I spoke, sitting down on the couch, "Because I wasn't really feeling it."

She raised her brows, seeing right through my flimsy excuse, "What's the real reason?"

Trust Emma to see right through me. Seriously, I never get to take a break. Back home, my brother had a keen eye so he instantly knew what was wrong. Then we have her here, not even humoring me by biting into my bullshit.

"Some things are not worth writing," I sighed, twisting the glass in my hands, "Even if they tell you that it is."

Adam was the one who gave me inspiration for the new story I was writing but it turns out, he would be the one to stamp The End to an adventure that was only beginning.

"Is it that Adam you introduced me to?" she asked, knowing me all too well. There was a reason why I was so close to her, more than I was to Andy. She understood me before I could even utter a single word, "You like him?"

"No!" I responded way louder than I meant to. She slightly flinched at the strong denial that I suddenly displayed and I placed the glass on the coffee table as I cleared my throat, "I mean, I don't."

Impossible, I've only known him for two weeks tops so I couldn't. And in any event that I did like him, it would be futile because he loves someone else.

Someone who has seemingly moved on faster than he did.

Along with that, I still haven't gotten over my ex. He was the one I called when I was drunk and out of my mind, wasn't that a signal that I was still clearly into him? It wasn't just a drunk text, but an actual call and I couldn't even remember any part of the conversation plus I'm too scared to confront him.

Wait a minute.

I shot up from my seat and went to my bag, digging for my phone to check my messages. Sure enough, he was there on the very top of my list. So I did message him before or after that call.

With my hand thinking on its own, I tapped on the conversation and my shoulders slumped when there was only one message. When it showed in the preview, I thought it was the end for a long exchange of words, but in fact, it was the only word I sent.

Goodbye.

My head slowly tilted up and Emma was now staring at me, confused and worried at the same time. I opened my mouth as the realization sunk in, "I wanted to let go."

------------------------

Somebody asked me as to why I don't update on Radish. The reason is because there is a storm brewing behind doors. It's no longer what it used to be when I first entered to it, when it was just starting out. Its employees who I've learned to be relate to and are quite friendly had been either fired or they had resigned on their own a few months ago. That was just the tip of the iceberg, their qualities that have endeared authors to them were slowly being replaced and we, as writers, felt like it was a disrespect to the visions they have promised us when they invited us to write there.

In other words, boring stuff in some your perspective, but literally irritating and frustrating on our part.

I'll update there again once everything has calmed down.

 Oh by the way, do you guys want me to start asking questions again at the end of each chapter? I miss it a little bit and for those new readers, I used to do it all the time in my previous books.

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to vote, comment, and give me a follow. I love you guys and I shall see you all next chapter!

P.S. It's my finals next week so wish me luck.