11

Tara Na Nga

Ilang beses niyang isinigaw ang pangalan ko. At kung ilang beses siyang sumigaw, ganon din ang bilang ng pagbilis ko sa pagtakbo.

I don't want him to catch me. I don't wanna be caught.

Dahil hindi ko alam ang gagawin sa oras na makuha niya ako. Figuratively and literally.

Wala akong ideya sa kung paano ko siya pakikitunguhan. Kaya ang pinili ko ay tumakbo.

Malayo sa kaniya. Sa kanilang lahat.

"Flaire!" Was the last sound I heard before crossing the road in a hurry. Nawala ko siya ng may mga dumaan at naharang siya sa kabilang side.

I glanced at him for one last time.

He was looking at me. Malalaki ang mata at tila ba hindi pa rin matanggap ang nangyayari.

Unti-unting lumambot ang tingin ko. Somehow, for the first time, I felt like someone really cared. Aside from my family.

Napayuko ako sa iniisip. I smirked to myself. What stupidity are you thinking, Ruby?

Napailing-iling ako bago muling tumakbo at tuluyan ng nakawala sa kaniya. He couldn't manage to catch me. And I think no one can ever succeed on doing so.

Patuloy lang ako sa pagtakbo. San ako pupunta? Hindi ko alam. Pero ang nasa isip ko ay dapat makalayo muna ako sa kanila. Bahala ng mapagalitan nina Ruce at Lolo.

Basta kailangan kong makalayo.

Facing Xenon would burst my hearts to shattered pieces. Ayoko.

Flaire Ruby Gresham is in a whirlwind. Kung sa Maynila ay napakaangas ko, bakit tuwing nandito ay para bang nauubos ang angas ko?

Saglit akong napatigil sa isang convenience store. Nasa may tagong lugar 'to. Sakto at bahagyang dumidilim na. Napaupo ako sa isa sa mga upuan na nasa labas. I gazed at my wounds.

Siguro ay medyo malayo na 'to sa kung nasaan sina Xenon. Better than nothing. Dito ba muna ako magtatago? But it would be a risk. Dapat bang sa kabilang mga siyudad na lang?

Napakagat ako sa labi ng maramdaman ang hapdi sa binti. The cut was really painful. Gusto kong umiyak. Pero sa lahat ng sugat na natamo ko, kinaya ko naman.

I wouldn't wanna die just because of this stupid wound.

Huminga ako ng malalim bago pumasok sa convenience store at bumili ng konting pagkain, gamot sa sugat, at inumin.

For now, my plan is to rest. Kakain muna ako pagkatapos kong gamutin ang sugat ko.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang pagpikit sa tuwing nadidikitan ng bulak ang sugat ko. The band-aid helped in easing the pain.

Pagkatapos kong maubos ang pagkain ay napatingala ako sa langit.

Mom, Dad.

Ano bang pwedeng gawin sa buhay ko? It's like I'm chasing something. I'm reaching for so many things that slowly... I'm letting go of myself.

Lumipas ang ilang minuto. Napagpasiyahan kong umalis na.

Hinagilap ko ang phone sa dalang bag. Now my clothes are all dirty. My white shirt is messy. Bukod don, my shorts are not it. Sa lahat talaga ng panahon, ngayon ko pa naisipang isuot 'to? Ayan tuloy, nahiwa! Stupid! Less protection!

May konting dugo sa sapatos ko. Dahilan ng pagtulo ng dugo mula sa sugat ko kanina. I sighed. I'm doomed. Ano na ngayon???

When I caught my phone, I opened it and waited for signal. Halos mabitawan ko iyon nang makita ang napakaraming tawag at text ni Xenon.

103 missed calls

50 new messages

From: Xenon

Flaire, where are you!?

From: Xenon

Why did you run away??

From: Xenon

Are you hurt?

From: Xenon

May dalang kutsilyo ang isa sa kanila! Nasaktan ka ba?????

From: Xenon

I didn't expect them to hurt you.

From: Xenon

Nasaktan ka na naman dahil sa akin.

From: Xenon

Please... Answer me. Anything. Para malaman ko kung ayos ka pa.

From: Xenon

Nababaliw na ako, Flaire. Give a reply. PLEASE

From: Xenon

Hindi ko alam kung saan ka hahanapin. Lagot tayo kayna Mama. Pero kailangan muna kita mahanap.

From: Xenon

Bigla kang nagalit sa akin. I'm so sorry. Uwi ka na please............. TT__TT

"Xenon..." My lips parted.

I can't. I want to but I can't.

I'm sorry.

I ignored his messages and calls. Hanggang ngayon ay sinusubukan niya pa rin akong tawagan at i-message kaya nilagay ko sa airplane mode at do not disturb ang phone ko.

I searched on the web kung saan pwede maglagi. Based on the map, it would be better to hide far away. Sa Cuídate Bien. I looked for different hotels wherein I can stay. Ang balak ko, huwag gamitin ang cards na meron ako. For sure, they can track me down because of it. Buti na lang may mga cash ako. Damn it.

Paika-ika pa akong naglakad paalis. I tried my best and used my hair to cover my face. Sa tuwing may naririnig akong busina ng sirena ay napapaigtad ako. Pakiramdam ko, may humahabol pa rin sa akin... Kahit na meron naman talaga. Ngunit malayo na ako!

Pumara ako ng taxi sa tabing daan at sinabi ang hotel na nais puntahan sa Cuídate Bien. It was a long ride. Pakiramdam ko ay nakaidlip ako ngunit hindi naman delikado. People are nice here.

Except sa mga fangirls ni Xenon na lagi akong inaatake. Literal.

When I arrived, inayos ko ang itsura ko. Obviously, people would suspect me of different things kung makita nila ang magulo kong itsura.

"A room please..." I said calmly. Ngunit sa kaloob-looban ko, nagpapanic na ako. It feels like anyone would catch me anytime soon. Ayoko.

Mabilis na naayos ang booking ko. I immediately paid full in cash. Napangiwi ako. I should withdraw more money. But at the same time, since I remember how unready I was for this situation, nakisuyo na rin ako sa staff na bumili ng mga gamit ko. They said I had to pay extra and I said deal. It's okay to be poor as long as I don't look unhygienic. I can't digest being so dirty.

Nang makaakyat sa tamang floor at makapasok sa hotel room, mabilis akong napahiga sa kama.

I looked around. Ako na naman. Mag-isa.

Saglit akong nakatulala. Walang iniisip.

Blangko.

What to do? What now?

Pinilit ko ang sariling tumayo. I prepared myself for bed. Nilinis ko na rin ang sugat ko sa abot ng makakaya. Good thing I bought extra first-aids from the convenience store earlier.

Nang makabalik ng higa ay hindi ko namalayang agad akong nakatulog paglapag ng likod sa kama.

I was too tired to think about my clenching wound, my painful bruises, and the person who was screaming my name the last time I saw him.

I wonder, does he still like me?

The thoughts lingered onto my unconscious mind.

The next day was sunny. Unang sumagi sa mukha ko ang haplos ng araw kaya agad akong nagising. I stretched my arms for a bit to somehow help awaken my mind more.

It's a new day. Kailan ako uuwi? Or should I just keep on running away? Kaya ko bang bumalik mag-isa sa Maynila? My passport and other things are in the mansion. Argh.

I reached for my phone and opened it. Only to be bombarded by more notifications from Xenon. Hindi na ako nag-abala pang tingnan iyon. 'Coz I feel like if I did, mas maguguluhan ako.

Nakatingin lang ako sa bintanang natatakpan ng kurtina ngunit may onting liwanag pa rin na nakakatakas. I stood up and swung the curtains open.

The view was nice. It was just a simple hotel. I could see the roads here. Nakakatuwa na panoorin kung paano dumaan ang mga sasakyang tila ba'y kay liit ngayon sa aking mga mata.

Although hindi na ako nagsayang pa ng oras. In my mind, since I'm already here, why not look around? Just by myself. No more Xenon to guide me.

I sighed when I remembered what happened yesterday. No, delete it Ruby. Stop it.

I cleaned and prepared myself. Excited akong gumala kahit medyo sumasakit pa rin ang sugat ko. But a mere wound isn't enough to stop me from travelling.

I wore a simple shirt and pants again. Wala na akong time mag-inarte. Alam ko naman na kahit anong isuot ko, maganda pa rin dahil maganda ako. I mean, I can't blame myself. It's hard to live as me.

So imperfectly perfect and gorgeous.

I made my way out of the hotel. Somehow, yes, it's nice to travel this far away. Without Xenon. Medyo nakakapagtaka na hanggang ngayon ay hindi niya pa ako nahahanap. 'Coz I gotta admit, being an Ashenbert has a BIG privilege on this island. He could've just rung up the whole island and ask people to look for a red-headed gorgeous woman. But I'm also glad that he didn't. I'll rip him alive if he does. I want this peace for now.

I saw some boutiques along the road near my hotel. I was excited to look at each one of them. I even bought some makeup, dresses, and other accessories that would bring happiness to my heart.

Who cares if I'm missing? I'm done with behaving! They can talk bulls about me and I wouldn't care! Suck my unbothered and flawless ass.

I was walking out of a boutique when I saw a shop across the road. It looks like a cafe. At since nagugutom ako, dumiretso ako roon. I ordered food from room service kanina at dahil andami kong pinamili, it won't hurt to reward myself, right?

And in the back of my mind, deserve ko 'to. After the fights... Gosh!

I entered the shop and ordered the cake that caught my attention. I was thinking of a lot of things kaya hindi ko na napansin kung ano ang inorder ko. I immediately paid for the food and sat on a table as I waited for them to serve the cake I ordered.

Hindi nagtagal ay may babaeng nagdala sa akin ang order ko. At first bite, my eyes widened.

"Waitress," I called.

A girl approached me. She looks younger than me. Is she working here as a part-timer?

"Yes po?"

"I love this cake. Anong tawag niyo dito?" I showed her the cake on my plate.

"Oh! That's an oreo cheesecake ma'am,"

I nodded. "Really?" Thanks, ang sarap."

"You're welcome ma'am..." She said and walked back to the counter.

Muli akong tumingin sa oreo cheesecake. Damn... Ikaw pala. A lot of things happened. You don't look like an oreo cheesecake and I'm sorry for not knowing sooner... This is my super duper favorite cake! How could I forget how yummy you are?

I was quietly enjoying my oreo cheesecake that finally I've been reunited with until all of a sudden, I felt something entering the shop.

A tall man entered-- is that Zennon Ashenbert? My jaw fell. After him, Xenon Ashenbert entered. My eyes widened when I saw how he walked towards me.

Damn it! How could they find me? Ngayon pa na natutuwa ako sa cake ko???

"What are you doing here?" Mariin na tanong ni Xenon bago umupo sa upuang nasa harap ko.

I glanced at his older brother at the counter and gazed back at Xenon.

"Pake mo?"

Inirapan ko siya at pinagpatuloy ang pagkain ko sa oreo cheesecake. Huwag niya akong simulan! I'm still frustrated and I will not melt for him! Siya ang magmemelt kapag tinusok ko sa kaniya itong fork na hawak ko!

"Come on Flaire, you went missing. How could you not answer all my messages and calls? And you're here... shopping?" His eyes fell on the paper bags on the floor near my foot.

"So what if I go missing? As you can see, I'm here. Buhay pa ako, Xenon."

"What about your wound?"

"Malayo sa bituka," I rolled my eyes again before immediately finishing my cake and drinking water.

He sighed at my attitude. "I don't know why you're angry. But you almost made me faint."

"Bakit 'almost'? You should've fainted." I harshly said.

He didn't answer immediately. "You're coming home with me."

"Alam ba nila Tita? My Lolo? Ruce? And how in the world did you find me here?"

"No, nope, and no. I didn't tell anyone, okay? How could I? E 'di baka nagwala na ang pamilya mo at pamilya ko. It's gonna frustrate us more. Tsaka... I found you because of your phone. Turns out, you're not as smart as I think you are, Sweetie. You left it open. Didn't it cross your mind?"

I glared at him. He gave me a small smile. "I couldn't just ring up the whole island and find you kaya tumagal ng isang gabi. Because if I do, everyone's gonna know. And by everyone, I mean EVERYONE. I'm sorry. When I found out that you're here, I asked for Kuya's help and turns out andito rin pala 'yung crush niya..." He gazed at the table near us. Nandon ang Kuya niya at 'yung babaeng tinanong ko kanina.

"What the heck, Xenon? She's maybe younger than us!"

He chuckled. "Relax, my brother's not like that. It's harmless. Out of everyone I know, he's the most mature and controlled of his emotions..."

Muli ko siyang inirapan.

"Iirapan mo na lang ba ako forever? Tara na, umuwi na tayo. Huwag ka nang magalit." Suyo niya.

Sinamaan ko siya lalo ng tingin. "Pano kung ayoko?"

"I'll carry you home."

"I still have things doon sa hotel!"

"Consider it done," He shrugged and stood up. "Damn it, Flaire. Don't run away from me again. Porket alam mo lang na crush kita... It hurts you know? Seeing how panicky you wanted to leave... Me..."

Kunot-noo ko siyang pinanood. Isa-isa niyang binuhat ang mga shopping bags na dala ko. Nang makuha niya lahat, tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. "What're you waiting for? Tara na..."

"Don't touch my things!" Angal ko na hindi pa rin tumatayo.

I'm stubborn and I know it! I'll never melt for anyone!

"If I let you carry this, mahihirapan ka. Let me do it. Tara na... Para makapagpahinga ka na. I'm not confident on how you comment about your wounds. I'll have to check them myself."

"Argh, Xenon! Kaya ko na ang sarili ko!"

"The knife had blood. It traumatized me. I wouldn't know what to do if something bad happens to you. Alam kong sanay ka na sa buhay mong ganto sa Maynila. You said no one really was there even if your cousin and Rave were. Yet, you still feel alone."

I raised a brow. "What are you pointing at?"

"Let me make you feel that you're not alone." He simply said before I saw that familiar smile.

It never fails to annoy me.

"What if I don't accept?"

"Look at us now. I found you, right? This is me being persistent. Even if you make it so so so hard for me, I'll make sure to do my very very very best and not give up on you."

Huminga ako ng malalim. "You're not even sure if I like you. What does this benefit you, Ashenbert?"

"As long as you're happy?" Alanganin siyang ngumiti. Still waiting if I liked his answer.

"Are you a masochist?"

"I'm never a fan of painful things, Flaire." He said. "But I don't know why I'm such a fan of yours. You're not really the kindest... But here I am still. Mahilig siguro ako sa thorns ano?" He joked.

I sighed one last time before standing up. He smiled triumphantly. Umirap ako. Fine, I lost.

"Tara na nga." Bored kong sabi at nauna nang lumakad sa kaniya.

I heard him laughing behind.

"Sungit!"