☾

"Why do you call him daddy?"

"Why do I call who what?" I asked in disbelief narrowing my eyes at Roman.

The two of us were sitting in loungers near the pools, you know that bed-like beach chairs, meanwhile Jordan and Blake went to buy drinks for the four of us.

"Jordan. You call him daddy." He calmly said as if what he is implying is something normal and totally undeniable. To be fair, for him it's probably normal.

"What? I don't." I sat correctly in my chair to look at him better. Do you know that moment where you are watching tv laying down and when the show is getting interesting you gotta sit down to actually see? In this case, I needed to sit down to argue correctly.

Danny. I call him freaking Danny.

"I mean I know you two are you know," he paused to blew kisses in the air. "but if you are calling him daddy it's probably serious."

What the hell does that even mean?

"Roman, you hit you head in the water slide or it's it the drugs talking?" I said looking at him with a serious look but I can't ever be serious with him. "I call him Danny."

"Danny? Years of friendship, if you could call it that, and I never knew he is also named Daniel." He looked genuinely confused. "And for your information, the medicine was bussin." He added.

Explaining something to Roman is a whole sport, but here goes nothing.

"Jor-dan, I took the 'dan' and added a 'y', so it creates 'Danny'." I tried my best to keep it short and understandable.

"Aw can I be called Rommy?"

"You want me to call you that?" Jordan hates his nickname and Roman wants to have a nickname? I think I gave a nickname to the wrong person.

"Yes, being called Roman all the time is boring, only my mom gives me nicknames but her's are weird."

"Then I'll call you Rommy, Rommy." I smiled at him and I could see his mood change. He stood up and carefully hugged me, probably remembering my sore arm.

"Thank you, Pumpkin. Sorry if I hug you a lot, I love hugs but I have no one to hug." He said still hugging me, making me hug him tightly. I feel like he is slightly opening up to me and that makes me happy.

"Don't apologize, you can always hug me!" I love his hugs, I pity everyone who misses them out.

We broke the hug and kept talking about random things such as why gummy bears from different brands taste different.

"I swear those things are made of weird chemicals, but am I gonna stop buying them? Hell nah." He said as our conversation grew leaving space for subtopics and shit. Roman has a lot to say about a lot of things.

I do too, but I don't actually say them.

"Here." Jordan said extending his hand with my lemonade for me to grab it. "Thanks." I said taking a sip from it.

"Took you fucking forever guys, we were already bringing politics to gummy bears, and you know that conversation was long when politics are brought on." Roman said taking his drink from Blake as well.

"Well next time go for your own drink." Blake said.

"My feet hurts, I can't walk that much! I was gonna say 'thank you very much guys', but now you are only getting a simple thank you." Roman said before standing up and taking a big sip from his Fanta. "Let's go, pool time." He said clapping his hands.

No one said anything else to him, no one questioned him, we knew it was pointless.

"I'm staying here." I said bringing their attention to me.

Please don't ask why.

"Why?" Jordan freaking asked me why and I was trying my best to not panic. I hate talking about it.

"Her arm, duh." Roman unintentionally saved me. He is also hurt and logically need to rest too, what does he mean by duh?

"It hurts?" Jordan got closer to me, his look was weird, I would say he looked concerned but it can be a side effect of the medicine.

"No, I just don't really like pools and I prefer to rest my arm." It was the truth and I was proud of how I worded it. Jordan narrowed his eyes but then he just nodded not pushing any further.

"I'll start walking to the pool since I'm so fucking slow, Blake help me please I'll buy you french fries with ketchup, cheese and all that shit you put to them." Roman said and it seemed like that offer was enough for Blake since he nodded really quickly. "See you guys." Blake said to Jordan and me.

"Want me to stay with you?" He asked making me miss a heartbeat. No one has ever been this considerate with me.

In 9th grade we had a school trip too and my "friends" keep pushing me to swim with them even when I told them a thousand times I was scared. They gave up and left me alone in the dark while calling me a pussy and making me feel bad about myself. I indeed was and still am a pussy, but sometimes it's ok to be one.

I might be a pussy but at least I'm not a dick, pussies for the win chop them dicks.

I had no problem with them leaving me there, I didn't want to ruin their fun, but it hurt me that no one tried to understand. In that moment I justified them saying they didn't understand because they didn't know the story behind it, but now I realize that saying 'I'm scared' or 'I don't want to' should have been enough.

"No! Go have fun, I'll be ok. Thank you Danny." I said as soon as I remembered I didn't answer his question.

He grabbed my hand and I felt self conscious about it but then he kissed it surprising me yet again.

"Ok, we won't be that far so scream at me if you need anything." He said pointing at Roman and Blake who weren't far at all. I just nodded giving him a thumbs up.

He left with the other two boys and I laid down again, I decided to change in my dry clothes since I wasn't planning in going near water again and feeling my ass soaked wasn't a pleasant feeling.

My arm was kinda hurting again after moving it to change of clothes.

"Babe!"

"Oh hey Jess." I said sitting down again as Jess approached me, to my bad luck Aiden and Jake tagged along too. Eve was there too but I didn't mind, I think she is cool.

"Why are you alone?" I stood up to greet them since they didn't seem about to get closer from where they were standing near the pool and it was weird talking from far away.

"Oh nothing, just chilling." I said calmly although I was shitting my pants for two different things, being close to a deep pool and being near Jake and Aiden, specially that creepy fucker Jake tho.

I looked for Jordan, Roman and Blake in the pool crowd instinctively, I was desperate for some sort of comfort and seeing them close made me relax a little.

"Join us in the pool." Jess suggested and it was nice of her to invite me but I really really don't want to join them.

"No thanks, I'm ok here." I replied, panic threatening to appear in my voice while I was trying my best to control my breathing without them noticing.

"Oh come on! The water is nice I promise." She tried to convince me grabbing my hand of my sore arm making me wince quietly.

"I really don't want to, Jess." My voice was shaky now and I couldn't do anything about it. I was holding my ground but she pulled me towards her. Closer to the fucking pool.

"You always miss out the pools. It'll be cool, I promise!" This time I was on the edge of the pool and my body reacted to it by shaking.

"No, no, please don't." I said practically begging, moving my body the farther away possible from the pool, my grip on her hand was tight as if my life depended on it, and in that moment it felt like it did depend on it.

Flashbacks were back as soon as I knew I couldn't do anything to stop her, I was vulnerable and helpless just like I felt that day.

I hate talking about it, I hate remembering, it's not even that big of a deal but I was just 7 years old and I still remember perfectly to this day.

It was my dad's fault, I know that now. In that moment it felt like it was my fault for not being good enough and for being a scaredy-cat, but then again I was just 7 years old.

We were in vacation chilling in the pool, I was in the kids pool since I didn't know how to swim while my parents were in the deep pool. My dad told me to go with him to the deep pool, he offered to hold me all the time and supposedly teach me how to swim.

The thing is he only did it worse for me.

I hesitated, I was scared of the pool and I was scared of him. I didn't see his arms like a safe place, and I still don't.

He lost his patience and basically forced me to get in the pool, I had no other option but to agree. He hold me as he promised and gave me instructions on how to swim. I tired, but I couldn't do it. He started screaming at me like crazy, I remember people turning to look at us.

I wanted to get the hell out of there but I couldn't, if I tried getting away from him I would drown trying, so even if I wanted to be meters away I grabbed onto him the best I could trying to not drown. I felt so helpless and humiliated, the panic in that moment made it worse for me to actually learn how to swim.

He left me alone to see how I did and I just managed to float for about 1 second. I just kept going down even when I was trying my best to swim.

My dad grabbed me, helping me find my way to the surface and started screaming again, I could even feel his body shaking in anger while mine was shaking of fear.

I cried and begged him to let me get out of the pool and after some minutes he did. Since then my mom has enrolled me in swimming lessons to help this trauma go away but I end up quitting every time, I just can't do it.

"Just do it." I heard Jake said behind me bringing me back to reality. Before I could do or say anything else I was pushed to the pool.

I screamed in terror before I reached the water, it all felt like that day all over again as I kept drowning.

I was desperately trying to swim upwards, I promised I tried, but it wasn't enough.

A couple of arms surrounded me and after a few seconds I was in the surface again. I clung to the person as I uncontrollably cough.

The person brought me out of the pool and that's when I was finally able to come back to my senses. I looked around and saw Jordan holding me tightly as we were sitting in the edge of the pool, my head rested in his chest while my body trembled.

Roman and Blake were looking at me with clear concern in their eyes while Jess and her friends looked at me wide-eyed.

'She didn't know' was what I kept repeating myself trying to justify Jess.

I have never told anyone about my fear except for Aiden, and still he just stood there watching how Jess pushed me.

As stupid as it sounds, I started crying. Jordan stroke my hair while he let me cry in his chest. I could feel the cold metal of his gold chain in my forehead and his rings against my waist.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry-" Jess was interrupted by Jordan. "Fuck off." He said with clear anger in his voice.

"I didn't mean to-" she was interrupted again. "We don't give a fuck, get lost." This time Roman said.

"Aye chill guys." Aiden said defending Jess. The audacity.

Jordan's body tensed and I knew what was about to go down.

"I'm ok." I said as I stopped crying and tried to move away from Jordan but his hold was tight. He was about to say something but I did it first.

"Jess, I don't care if you didn't mean to do it, I told you a hundred times no." I said looking at her with tired eyes.

"I know but-"

"Save it, I don't wanna talk with you." I said. Saying that probably hurt me more than it hurt her, she used to be my only friend for a long time after all, but she did me wrong.

She left looking sad, making the three of her friends follow her.

"Are you ok? You looked terrified." Jordan said looking at me with a soft look.

"I am now." I said and he finally let go of me so we both stood up.

"Pumpkin!" Roman loudly said while hugging me.

"It's ok Rommy." I kept trying to reassure them. I was still a little agitated but I wasn't scared anymore.

"Rommy?" Jordan said looking at us as Roman and I broke our hug.

"Yep, Danny." I said giving him a small smile and what seemed like traces of anger disappeared from his expression.

I feel bad that I don't have a nickname for Blake, I'll think of one.

"Ah shit." I whispered to myself as I looked down focusing on my clothes, that were supposed to stay dry, now completely soaked.

So Jess saw I wasn't in a swimsuit and still pushed me?

"Have this." Jordan immediately said giving me the black shirt he was wearing on the way here. I didn't have the energy to pretend I could manage on my own so I accepted it.

"What about you?" I asked. I always bring extra stuff just in case and this one time I actually needed that extra stuff I just brought one change of clothes.

"I have another shirt." He replied and I nodded. Of course he does, I forgot he loves to be prepared for anything.

I headed to the bathroom to change, again. The cleaning lady will probably be so confused.

My arm hurt like a bitch, more than before, but I wasn't gonna admit that. Not trying to go visit the nurse again.

"Oh my gosh, are you ok?" One of the girls we saw yesterday in the line of a ride asked when I entered the rest room looking like a wet fully clothed rat. She was one of the two that smiled at me.

"Yep, couldn't help myself and went for a last minute swim." I said jokingly. She shook her head and laughed with me.

"In denim shorts? Damn girl." She said nodding as if showing she approved.

"What can I say, a proper swimmer can make them work." I shrugged confidently. The irony.

"The thing is, I'm not a proper swimmer, not a swimmer at all. Basically my friend pushed me to the pool and I had a panic attack because I have a trauma you know? So yeah, I was drowning and there was this whole dramatic almost dying moment, but someone saved me and helped me out and I sobbed horribly while some kids passing by looked weirdly at me." I blurted out quickly leaving me out of breath.

She looked at me with widen eyes because of the confession. I don't know why I told her all this, but it felt good.

"What the fuck. What a bitchy move from her, and why the kids looking at you weirdly when they literally cry when they fart loudly." She said with a sassy tone. "Who needs to be a proper swimmer when you can be a proper stripper." She added making me uncontrollably laugh.

She is so random. I love her already.

"Your point is very valid, important and encouraging." I said.

"What's your name? You are literally my new best friend." She excitedly asked making me feel excited too at how fast we clicked.

"My name is Adira, what about you?"

"Hi Adira, I'm Roxanne and before you ask no, I don't wanna party all night." I was confused for a second but then I realized she was talking about that song named Roxanne. "Well maybe I do but in Europe where we can find some fine Italian men and good music, not with this wack people." She said stretching her hand for me to shake.

This made me realize how maybe I don't hate partying in general, I just hate partying here.

"Count me in bro." I said shaking her hand.

"I gotta go, but add my number! We gotta hang out in school!" She said and we added each other before she left and I got into a bathroom to change myself quickly. These boys probably think I felt into another pool and died on my way to the bathroom after how long I've taken.

I carefully changed into Jordan's shirt that looked like a dress on me, I kept my underwear on, of course. Even though it's wet, I'm definitely not looking forward to flashing someone.

Ok, wet and underwear in the same paragraph sounds weird. Let's just say it was the opposite of dry.

Wow this shirt smells so damn good, just like him.

I'm not completely comfortable with no wearing any shorts but the denim ones I was using are completely soaked. Still the shirt covers my butt, and who cares everyone is almost naked in a water park so it's ok.

Looking at myself in the mirror I noticed how dead I looked, that's probably why Roxanne freaked out. To be fair, I almost died.

I made my way back and Jordan received me with a small smile, he was trying to hide it, but I saw it.

"This shirt rocks." I said as I joined them.

"You ok?" Jordan asked looking down at me and I quickly nodded. "Yes I am. Thank you for asking, for literally saving me and for lending me this shirt." I said listing everything I was thankful for.

He leaned down and kissed my forehead as a way of saying 'you are welcome'.

Roman was looking at us with a smirk. "You definitely call him zaddy." He said making Jordan raise an eyebrow at him while I covered my mouth to muffle my laughter.

"What the fuck is a zaddy?" Jordan asked. Oh you definitely don't wanna know.

"The z stands for sexy and it's combined with daddy. Used in a sentence it would be something like 'Woah look at that zaddy, he can have my kids' and if you want an example you are seeing one right now." Roman said spinning to show himself.

Jordan looked disgusted and confused at the same time.

"Vocalize you're thoughts please?" Roman said clapping his hands in front of Jordan's face.

"I think you are sick."

"Good thing that s in sick stands for sexy as well, thank you my brother." Roman said dabbing Jordan up.

Jordan rolled his eyes and showed him his middle finger.

Typical.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
☾

—————————————————
AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hope you enjoyed! Stay safe, I love you all.

What do you think so far?

Please vote, comment and all that if you can :D

-ARV

Published: April 26th 2022