Chapter 42:Carrot,Egg,Coffee?

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The moment I got inside the office I could see everyone still doing their normal things and I saw Claire again. The moment I saw her I couldn't help but glare at her with annoyance.

I saw Abigail walking my way and I almost forgot about Claire being in the same office with me and focused my attention on Abigail. I gave her an apologetic smile

"I'm soooo sorry Abs. I was being so childish throwing tantrums at you and I know you were only trying to help me and I'm...."

"No no it's fine Jenna. I understand you were pretty pissed and needed to let out some steam. I forgive you" Abigail said cutting me off

I hugged her and felt a smile crept on my face

"But I wanna warn you about later. Whatever you're gonna hear I hope you won't throw another tantrum at me or your door because I don't think your fragile door can take so much force" I laughed at her yet wondering what will make me so angry.

But ignoring her comment I told her I needed to put the cake and gather everyone around.

I put the cake in the table and clap my hands as loud as possible to announce "To all me dearest colleague! Please gather around so we can celebrate Joanna's retirement. Because she has been working for this office longer than all of us so please give an applause to her right now" just as Joanna was walking nearer to me I quickly add in "owh and we would want to welcome Justin's new secretory too"

Just when I finished my sentences Claire came out with a smile on her face like she just won the pageant queen or had just been nominated as the prom queen. At the sight of her I couldn't help but glare at her and feel my blood boil like a hot water on a kettle.

I didn't hesitate any moment to find Justin. I cannot believe he hired her. That's not the worst part,the worst part is she is his assistant and now that we're having issues she comes along to make it even worst.

I saw Justin talking with Abigail and I knew what Abigail meant when she told me to not throw another tantrum.

"Why?" I cut in both of their conversation

"What?" Justin asked his eyebrows raised

"Why did you hire her?"

"I am the boss of this company and I needed a new assistant"

"There's a lot of assistants out there waiting for you to hire them and you had to choose her over all the better candidates out there" I said while crossing my arms

"Jenna you don't get it. She is the perfect assistant out there and I know it. I've known her for so long and I know she would be perfect for this pose"

"So it's not about the fact that you both used to date huh?" I asked with annoyance laced through every word

"Is this why your questioning me? Because of the same thing? Jenna I told you,we leave everything behind and focus on our job when we're in the company. I've told you that over and over already"

"This is not about that"

"Then what is it about?!" He asked raising his voice

By now everyone is looking at us.I gave up on asking or explaining to him. He never listens to me. Guys with their ego are just too much for me right now.

"You never understand what I want and feel " I bluntly said and walked away

I push everyone away while giving them an apologetic smile. I grabbed my things and walk through the staircase. I didn't want to wait for the lift and give Justin the opportunity to chase after me. I don't think I can handle seeing his face for the moment.

I grabbed my phone and called Lola to tell her that I'll be at her place now. She didn't question much but replied a simple okay.
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I was glad when I saw Lola's house. I pulled over at her driveway and got out. The moment I got out the car I hear my phone ring. After seeing the caller ID I glare at my phone like the person calling could see my annoyed face. I decline his call and off my phone not wanting it to bothered by any calls from anyone.

I focused back to the door and rang the doorbell. You can hear the echo of the bell from outside the house and some footsteps shuffling then some clicking sound and the door is opened revealing my big sister.

The moment I saw her I quickly hugged her and inhale her sweet scent. The memory of her comforting me when I was a little girl came rushing back. I feel like a little girl all over again being with her.

After a few minutes of being in each others embrace I let go and Lola ushered me in her house. The moment I stepped in her house I was welcomed by the strong aroma of lavender.

I couldn't help but let my eyes wander around the surrounding of the house. The walls are painted with cream color. We sat at the living room and it's very spacious. The size of the living room is like two times bigger then my living room.

"Are you okay?" Was the first thing Lola asked

"What do you mean?" I asked pretending not to know what she's talking about

"If there's nothing you wouldn't come find me for no reason. There has to be something bothering you"

"Can't I come to visit my sister" I asked feigning hurt because she would think that I'll look for her only when I'm in trouble. She didn't say anything but just raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms.

I sighed "It's-it's just that.... "I couldn't find words to say how I felt as I rethought about the argument I had with Justin today,but my tears helped to explain how I felt

She hugged me while stroking my back just like the time when I scraped my knee. At that time I was running around the pavement outside our house and I fell then scraped my knee. I remembered it stung so badly and I started to cry but Lola came by my side to comfort me.

Now at her embrace makes me feel like that same old vulnerable little girl again.

The tears that kept pouring out were mixture of hurt,anger,jealousy and confusion

After crying my emotions out I finally settled down

"Do you want to eat anything? I made cookies" she said "and it has nuts in it" while adding another smile

I laughed and nodded my head. She went into the kitchen to grab the cookies inside the oven. The moment she opened the ovens I can smell the cookies trailing from the kitchen to my nostrils tempting the saliva from my mouth to escape.

She came out with a batch of cookie on a plate. She sat beside me then place the plate of cookies on my lap. I didn't know crying could make you so hungry until I hear my own stomach grumbling. Either it was because of the crying or I just didn't have the opportunity to eat breakfast.

"So do you wanna tell me what made my little sister cry her eyes out?" Lola said giving me a warm smile

"I had a fight with Justin earlier at the office. I have never felt so embarrassed in my whole life when he raised his voice at me. The whole office were looking at us"

"What was the fight about?"

"I was pissed cause he hired his ex as his secretary. I get that there's a time for emotions and work. But I'm a human being and sometimes we're incapable of our own feelings" I finally get to catch my breath

"Yeah I know you're pissed. You have to trust Justin and believe he will strictly think of it as work and nothing else. I know it's never easy to see someone you love being hanging out with their ex but you have to remember it is strictly business" she put her hand on my hand and squeeze it a little

My brain kept thinking about the word love. Do I really love him?

I could feel Lola poking my cheeks "what are you thinking about?"

"It's just.... I'm... actually not very sure if I love Justin"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm saying" I inhaled "I'm not sure whether I accepted Justin because I love him or just the plain fact he was nice and I wanted to give him a chance"

"Now that you've given him a chance do you love him?" She asked as her eyes search into my eyes for any hint of answer

"I seriously don't know. I'm so confused right now. If only there's a button to stop yourself from loving a person that's ever hurt you" I shoved more cookies into my mouth,munching on them not caring how ridiculous I look

"You still love Finn?"Just as she ask those question I couldn't help but choke on the cookies

"What?!? Why would you ask that" I asked with my eyes wide

"Well since you said" she started putting air quote while saying " 'if only there's a button to stop yourself from loving a person that's ever hurt you' " my mouth just stayed a thin lines

"Did I really just said that?" I asked and tried to rethink my words

"Yes you did and I'm guessing you still love Finn" just as I was about to protest she continued "and don't tell me otherwise because I know you well enough to not make up assumptions"

I groaned "what am I gonna do? What if I still liked him. There's no way for us to go back to normal. He cheated on me" I said while squinting my eyes

"Hold that thought and come with me"

I followed her to the kitchen and
she opened the refrigerator and took out a carrot, an egg and went to the top cupboard and grabbed a bag full of ground coffee beans.

She turned around to look at me but I gave her a questioning look but she just told me to wait. She then took 3 pots and filled them with water then proceeded to boil them with the fire on with high fire.

She asked me to come closer and I did. She then slowly put each thing she took out from the refrigerator and cupboard to each boiling pot. She then asked me to just wait for a while.

We both stood there just looking at the fire boiling the pots for a few minutes. Then she turned off the burner and took out the egg and carrot then put it on a plate. She then pour the coffee into a mug. You can see the hot steam coming from the mug and smell amazing scent coming from the coffee mug.

"What do you see?" she asked

"A carrot,an egg and coffee" I answered in a bored tone. Still not having any single of idea what this has to do with my situation.

"Go feel the carrots"

I just obliged and press on the carrot lightly using my forefinger and I feel the softness of the carrot. She then cut the egg into half and asked me to look at it and I did. Finally she asked me to sip on the coffee and I did as she said. The rich aroma from the coffee helped to calm me.

After doing all she did I looked at her ones more with a questioning look "So what's this about?"

"Do you see the carrot? And you know what happened when it was boiled right?" I just nodded

"Each of this went through the same process which is boiling and in this case let's take it as a problem. You see before the carrot was inserted into the boiling water it was strong and hard. But after few minutes you take it out it became soft

Now let's look at the egg again. The liquid of the egg is protected by its shell. But after being in the boiling water for awhile the insides that was once a liquid had hardened.

But the coffee is very unique. Because instead of being changed it changed the water instead. So let's look at you're situation again.

If you were going through an adversity. How are you going to respond? Will you be like the carrot? That went head hard then became soft and lose your strength . Or are you gonna be the egg? You started off as a malleable heart but after going through that tough time you then become hard on the inside but you're outward appearance stays the same. Or are you gonna be like the coffee that changes the water during an adversity. Even when the hour gets darker yet you still let yourself grow and change the situation around"

I was dumbfounded by her statement. It simply shook me like a wake up call. It's time for me to realize which one I wanna be "I wanna be like the coffee"

"Don't just say it  but use you're actions. Because mere words can't change any situation without action" Lola said with a serious expression on her face "I hope that you will take time to think things through first. Because I can't help much,only you yourself is capable of choosing. I can't help choose for you"

I nodded and stood up "Thank you for this very wise talk big sis" I said smiling

She stood up and I gave her a tight hug. I know I needed to find a quiet place to think. I didn't wanna go home yet. Not when there's a possibility that Justin will be waiting for me.

I asked Lola if I could stay at her house for one day and she told me she was fine with it.

I texted Abigail that I'll be sleeping over at my sisters house and told her to make sure to tell Justin to not look for me.

Just as I was finish texting,a pillow flew to my face following with a blanket. I pulled the pillow and blanket of my face and glared at my sister who was now on the floor clutching her stomach while laughing

"You should've seen your face. It was priceless" She said through fits of laughter

"After all this years you  haven't gone through maturity huh?" I asked cocking my eyebrows at her

"At least I'm not a fusspot and a killer joy" she said then put her tongue out like a little kid

"I'm a killer joy?" I asked as I slowly walk towards her with a grin on my face. She saw the change of my facial expression and quickly start to back away.

I ran after her and started tickling on her neck. I know where her soft spot is,just one poke on her neck she giggles like crazy.

I started tickling her sides and she was on the verge of tears. She was laying on the floor and I was at her side tickling her. She kept begging me to stop

"So who's the fusspot and killer joy now?" I asked through her laughter

"Not you!" She screamed

As she said those words I stopped. The next thing you know both of us are on the floor panting with tears streaked on our foreheads.

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