Even though it's only a couple of my teammates and my sister who are left, the music is still blasting through the stereo when I enter my house. They're all gathered around the table playing a game of beer pong and from the looks of it, my sister and Matteo are destroying Finnick and Greyson, a fellow defender. Daniel has long gone to sleep and I wish nothing more than to do the same, however before I can walk upstairs without anyone noticing me, Finnick's voice stops me.

"You're back!" He greets me with a wide smile, slaps his hands against my cheek, and peers at me with lazy eyes indicating the time I was gone involved more than a handful of shots.

"Dipshit, it's my birthday. Why do you look like someone died?"
The blue of his irises is surrounded by red from his alcohol intake which makes me wonder how he's still standing relatively stable on his two feet.

"I'm mourning your liver which is slowly dying. I was thinking about buying flowers for its grave." He swings his arm around my neck and slightly leans on me.

"I must say, that's a pretty fucking good birthday gift."

I glance sideways. "Better than Hernandez's?"

His eyes narrow and the expression makes him appear drunker than he probably is. "What do you know that I don't?"

I laugh as I shake my head. "I already told you, I'm Switzerland. No fucking way that I'm mingling in your war."

He sighs as he drops his gaze to the ground. "Sad." He lifts his head again, a giant smirk dancing on his lips. "It'd be fun to have two targets."

"I see you have regained your confidence in the matter."

He takes a step back and puts his hand on his heart as if he's offended. "As if I ever lost it." He steps in front of me, lays one hand on my shoulder, and starts pointing at me with his index finger just like coach Torrez does when he wants to debrief a tactic one on one. It's his motivational pose. "It's all a mind game. If Hernandez thinks I'm scared, then he thinks he has the upper hand, when in fact, he has not." He moves backward as he claps his hands before spreading his arms as if to say 'tadaa'.

I questionably raise my eyebrows. "Do you believe that?"

"I absolutely do." He swings his arm back around my neck and slaps his hand on my chest as he scans the room. "Now let's make sure you have a reason to mourn and let's do some shots."

"Thanks for the offer but next time. I'm not in the mood, man." He squishes my cheeks together with his free hand and forcefully turns my head toward him. A deep frown is covering his face as he inspects me making it seem he's trying to dissect my soul with only one look.

"Are you okay, dipshit?" His failed attempt at a whisper curls the corner of my mouth up.

"Just tired," I answer to brush him off. For a few more seconds his frown is observing me before his face clears up. He then tugs my head toward him and kisses my forehead.

"Sleep tight, princes." The mocking sweetness in his voice teases my hand to smack the smirk off of his face but I shake my head instead as a snort comes out.

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"I love you too." His goofy smile greets me and I playfully shove his face away.

"Fuck off," I laugh as I turn away and head upstairs.

"Don't you mean you love me more?" He calls after me.

"Drink some water," I yell back, not taking the effort to turn around.

"I don't steal from the fish."

"You should. Your liver will love it." If it survives this night, that is.

"My liver is a strong guy." Those are some famous last words for someone who will, no doubt, have a major hangover tomorrow.

"How about we talk again tomorrow."

"Deal. Now, sleep tight, my sleeping beauty." I flip him off, earning an accomplished laugh in return that dies away when the glass door to the living room falls shut.

It's only when I shut my bedroom door that the music morphs into nothing but a soft humming drum playing in the background. I slump down on my bed, lean my elbows on my knees and let my head fall into my hands as I allow myself to ponder as I replay tonight's events.

Her lips. Her laugh. Her soft touches. Her breathy moans. The tingling feeling in my chest as she pulled me closer. The ice-cold shower of reality as Lucie's gaze landed on me.

I should've known. I should've kept my distance. I should've-

Two knocks thrum through my room and I'm ready to tell Finnick off when I open the door but my mouth slams shut as August barges in my room, dressed in the same clothes I dropped her off in.
"What are you-"

"I told Lucie," she pants as she spins around to face me. Right after, the door falls shut behind me, introducing a great space of silence between us. My jaws clench as I try to process the statement she threw at me and when I don't react immediately, she continues. "I told your sister too. About the party and our summer."

She takes a step closer and I scream at my body to simultaneously take one back but I don't move. "I told them a while ago."

With every second she reveals more and I try to puzzle the pieces together to remove every ounce of confusion with a clear answer. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I can't stop thinking about you." My heart gallops in my chest and I will it to calm down but when she takes a step closer it rebelliously refuses. "Because I'm not okay with forgetting our kiss and I know I told you to forget about the kiss at the party but I can't," she pauses to catch her breath. "And it's driving me insane." The last part is merely a whisper but the impact it has is the equivalent of a bulldozer destroying every shred of self-possession.

"You think you're going insane?" I huff thinking about every emotion she has awakened in me over the past few weeks and how it has left me befuddled.

"What about me?" I snap. "You stomp your way into my life and unsolicitedly root yourself inside my brain as if the past years didn't happen. And I've tried. I've tried so fucking hard to draw the line but you effortlessly erase it as if it wasn't even there in the first place. So if you think you're the only one going insane, think again." My blood is boiling, my chest is heaving and my heart rate is through the roof.

"Then why do you sound mad when you say it?" Her gentle whisper contrasts my harsh voice and melts away the barrier holding me back from revealing the truth causing it to burst through.

"I'm mad because I'm on the verge of insanity since you replace all of my sane thoughts with images of what I could do to you." My body takes over, drowning in the feeling of her skin against mine. I cup her cheeks, my lips inches from hers as images of our kisses fog my mind. "What I want to do to you."

I stare at her lips and trace my thumb over her bottom one, fighting the endless battle between risking and protecting in my head.
Her breath hitches and the electricity rushing through my body, starting from the place where she lays her hands on my chest, shocks me into the realization of what I'm doing. I clench my teeth and gather the last crumbs of my willpower to remove my hands from her face. However, even those she blows into non-existence when she grabs my hands and lays them back on her cheeks, interlacing our fingers.

"Ari," I sigh as I slump against her, resting my forehead on hers. It's only her name that I whisper yet it contains every puzzling question.

How can I fight this when you make this feel so right? How can I resist you when you allure me without even trying? How can I step away when all you do is make me want to erase the space between us?

"What?" Her hot breath teases my lips and I squeeze my eyes shut trying to focus before I summerise the core fear creating the questions roaming my mind.

"I don't want to repeat history."

"Me neither." Her answer comes quick as if it was waiting to fall from her tongue. As if she doesn't need to think about it.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you. I'm trying to show you that I want things to be different. I want an us," she whispers as she nudges her nose against mine.

"I want to fight for it. And even though it scares the living hell out of me, I want you, Colin. I always have and I always will." My heart swells as I let her words sink in.

"So touch me the way you want to because I want you to." She leans her face against my hands.

"Show me I'm not the only one dying to touch you." Her words are slow as she slides her hands away from mine and lays them on my chest. It staggers under her touch and my hands drop to her waist.

"Kiss you." Her hot breath sends goosebumps all over my skin before her soft lips place a gentle kiss on the corner of my mouth. Her fingers slip under my shirt and graze over my stomach, making every muscle contract as she moves up.

"Feel you all over my skin." When she moves back down, she lets her nails breeze over my skin. I'm spiraling, reveling in her touches.

"Ari." My voice is hoarse when I mumble her name.

She leans back and I open my eyes to meet hers. Dark, rich brown like perfectly roasted coffee beans. They search mine, every emotion in them, before whispering an answer to the lingering fear inside of me. "I won't run. I promise."

Her confirmation is the last push to make my walls fall. Her promise is the spell that makes the ruins of my broken defense disappear into thin air.

I tangle my fingers in her hair and snatch her closer before I slam my lips on hers. Her hands sneak around my waist and her fingers press into the skin of my back ad she pulls me closer. The moment she deepens the kiss, my shoulders sag as if my stress, worries, and fears leave my body all at once.

As I let myself sink into her touch I realize how badly I've been craving her. I want to deny it but I can't hide what she does to me, let alone resist it.

I've been trying to for the last couple of weeks and I've been failing miserably. It's like standing in front of a goal and not being able to keep one ball out. It's not that I'm not good at guarding the goal, it's that whenever she looks at me I simply step aside. Regardless of the battle going on inside my mind.

But I'm tired of battling. I'm tired of doubting. I'm tired of the endless push and pull between my head and my heart.

I want her.

Her and whatever risk that might come with her.