"Again Crawford is attempting to crucify my client for things that are out of her control. Ones past is not a result of their future. My client has provided a stable home for her children after nearly losing everything for being wrongfully accused of murdering her first child's father who was attacking her. That case was never suited for trial due to it being self defense. Allure is being loved by both parents she is in the home with and has a wonderful school and home life. While her mother Madison is picking up the pieces to her life that men like Rick Morrison attempted to leave in shambles snatching her innocence and now ability to be a mother.my client has been failed one too many times! I plead with you Your honor donot make today another incident of injustice."

The court set in silence as the judge in-took all of the vital information leaving us in silence as she presided to her chambers to come to a decision.

This entire court case had exceeded my expectancy of time as I waited impatiently for the judge to make a decision after hearing all of the overwhelming evidence and information. I didn't have the strength to speak and I guess rick decided it was best he didn't take the stand as well. So now we all set in silence but the tension was as loud as a circus.

Today I realized that Rick was such an evil person. How could he do this to me all over again. I continued to think repetitively wishing this was all just a nightmare.

For the first time I glimpsed back at my parents and Jason, who all wore an expression of concern on their faces. Even though my father attempted to change his. It was far too late and each expression was haunting me in my head as I closed my eyes, wanting to escape this place. The feeling I had was one of doubt and defeat.

So many emotions were flowing within me but anger was the strongest. I couldn't even look in Ricks direction without wanting to rip his damn head from the shoulders he carried it.

This wait felt like eternity and anxiety filled my entire body as the judge soon returned holding the poker face she had left with.

As we all stood then set, my legs felt like watery jell-o and I couldn't breathe until the judge spoke.

"I've reviewed all evidence and heard all arguments. Allowing me the information to come to a decision that is suitable for the case. I know at times we can all become so passionate especially when a child is involved but we must also become selfless and through it all seek the best for the child and parents. With that being said Mrs.Hillard I am terribly sorry for all that you have been threw and I can say that I admire your strength. However as a mother we must care for ourselves first to be the best example for our children and really love them. After everything I have heard I am going to deny the full custody of Allure Hillard to Rick Morrison and however grant the judgement of joint custody to both parents. With visitation from 1 week to another, I'm also ordering that Ms.Hillard see's a counselor regularly for the next 30 days and return providing to the courts documentation of her attendance to the sessions. I'd also strongly recommend Ms.Hillard you surround your child in a home not filled with candidates to jeopardize your custody and I hope that the two of you can co parent with the best interest of your daughter in mind. Court is adjourned."

My heart dissolve burning into a million pieces as the feeling of my soul being ripped from my body sunk me like a kid who had no knowledge of how to swim. There was no feeling to describe how hurt and angry I was in that very moment being raped all over again for the third time. This feeling was like no other knowing that my child would have to be in the custody of Rick and Angela. I couldn't fathom handing her over or allowing them any percentage of time with her, knowing that their intentions aren't genuine.

"How can she do this!?" I asked my Attorney gripping him by the arm as he gathered his papers.

"It's better than him having full. Just do as she asked and things will go in your favor."

"How can you say that when she just gave custody of my child to a rapist!"

"Madison lower your voice we are still in court."

"I don't give a damn about his courtroom!! I care about my child and how you failed us!!!"

"I did my job as hired. He didn't get full custody."

"This half ass job you did you don't even deserve to be paid, this is a got damn travesty and injustice to me and my daughter!"

"Madison." I heard my father call.

"I don't understand!"

"Madison!!" My mother echoed grabbing me by the arm. "Now is not the time, come on my child."

"No !! He raped me and he is given custody of my child. I am being raped all over again and no one is listening."

"'Madison Celine' hillard , listen to me. Close your mouth now!! everything is being recorded. Calm down and come with me!" Voiced my father firmly and in that moment was the only time that I ceased the beast within me  long enough to listen and exit the court room.

I couldn't help but feel cheated and infuriated from the judges verdict and orders. My mind refused to understand the circumstances this case ended under.

"I just can't understand why the judge would see it his way." My father analyzed after we made it to the parking garage.

"I can, look who she has the grand kids around a murder and drug dealer. I knew he was trouble from the start. I blame him!" My mother shouted, losing her temper.

"Go to hell! You know nothing about him! He has been more supportive and loving than you could ever be in a million years!"

"Don't talk to me like that damn it!!! You blame yourself for this!"

"For what! Don't pretend like you're on my side! This is what you wanted all along and you've finally got it! You don't give a damn about me or my children!"

"You know what I am sick and damn tired of trying to make amends with you and this twisted life you live! One thing you won't ever take away from me is my unconditional love for those babies! I may not agree with the things you do but those babies are innocent and I want nothing but the best for them."

"Yeah fuckin right! Go to hell Kathrine!"

"MADISON!" Exclaimed my father diving right in the middle of us. "Don't talk to your mother life that! She is still your mother."

"Is she!!?"

"Wait a minute young lady!! You are out of control, slow your roll. I understand your anger however—."

"However nothing! I am losing my child thanks to her! And you're supporting her!"

"I'm not supporting anyone!"

My mother rolled her eyes sighing deeply. "Oh terry let her bathe in this tsunami she's created. You made your bed now you lay in it! What goes around comes around. You think you could just lay around with a married man and nothing would come about for you hurting his wife so deeply after everything she did."

"Go fuck yourself Kathie! I am never going to allow you to belittle me for who I was when you created that confused naive young girl and now you have the nerve to judge her when I was raped! And you stand by supporting the man who did it to your own daughter! Go to hell I am done with you!" I exclaimed not wanting to hear another word every respond they gave only faded into a silent echo as I hopped into my car and sped off not bothering to engage in another moment of that pointless argument.

My heart was broken, knowing my child would have to once again be with the rapist who created her. The aching from it was becoming unbearable!

I was angry at so many people I couldn't find the right target.

————————————-

Pulling into the driveway of my home I thought after the drive my mind would have decreased in the level of stress but instead it had overflown adding fuel to the fire.

I must've ignored a million calls from my family and set in the drive way for a straight hour, going over the case over and over.

So long until the sun went down and the thousandth call from Steph powered my phone completely off due to he dead battery.

That's when I built myself up to go inside feeling like I was dragging myself out of a slump.

"Babe that's you?" Steph asked coming to the kitchen where I had set down contemplating how to deflate the anger within me.

"What's wrong, why you not talking....? —what happened babe talk to me?"

"Who did you kill?" 

Although my voice was soft the lack of eye contact I gave, notified Steph of my seriousness.

The house was so quiet you could hear a pen drop. But I could tell my question had taken the wind out of the man I labeled my fiancé.

The vacant stool across from me became occupied by Steph as he took a seat trying to find the words.

"When Gigi's mother was killed. They attempted to take my life the following week and I killed the dude. Self defense. Hung jury, never tried again. I'm blessed to be able to speak of this from the outside of prison walls today."

"I thought it was a gang initiation."

"It was. However my father was a former drug dealer. He had a name for himself here. And once they found out they had taken the life of a prince king pin's girlfriend. They panicked and ordered a hit for me, but it went wrong by the grace of god and I'm here today to raise my daughter."

"Why didn't you tell ma any of this?"

"I didn't have the right time, I didn't know the right time or how to find the words to explain without scaring you."

"So you'd rather put me and my children's lives in jeopardy."

"There is no jeopardy. That part of my life is over baby. I would never sacrifice your lives, let alone my own daughters. This is what I was afraid of."

"Im losing my child. My daughter, because of your past. You were convicted of drug possession."

"When I was much younger."

"What difference does it make its on your record."

"Baby I didn't know it would effect you. I would never want it to effect you." Steph pleaded teaching out for my hands, but I snatched away as the tears began to trickle.

"It's too late. It is too late... because you lied to me. I can't lay next to a man I don't know."

"How can you say that?!"

"Because it's true!!"

"I've accepted you for all of your flaws and past and have learned to love you and now you're giving up on me. Madison we can fix this, we can get Allure back."

I shook my head breaking down uncontrollably as I took off the proposal ring setting it on the counter.

"Don't do this Madison."

"You did this to us. You said you'd never hurt me and you did. In the worse way."

"Madison baby." Steph begged grabbing me by the wrist as I stood up and walked away.

I wasn't sure where I would go, but I couldn't stay here. The children were all fast asleep and I calmly broke the sleep of Power and Allure after packing them two days of necessities while I figured things out on my own.