My mind was heavy at this point and the fact that I was late for my babies program made my heart even heavier.

   I did over the speed limit just to make it there to see the parking lot  filled with parent taking pictures with their children. The sight of so many dads made me feel even worse, knowing I had missed this important program and my Power didn't have a Daddy to be there with him.

I swung into the first space and quickly grabbed Allure who was still asleep and toted her on my hip rushing through the crowd of parents looking for my little boy.

  I finally spotted him standing next to his teacher by the door with Mr.Steph.

I rushed over kneeling down to him, where his expression changed from one of happiness to anger with the sight of me.

"You didn't even show up." He uttered with his cup of Juice covering his mouth.

"I am so sorry baby, please forgive me! I had a long day at work and lost track of time I am so sorry. Forgive mommy." I apologized hugging him with my free hand but he didn't hug me back.

"Mr.Steph was here though." He mentioned bringing the attention to Steph standing next to him with a grin.

"I told you I would be champ, moms have to work. Give her a break that's what super heroes do." He persuaded rubbing Powers head.

I made a puppy dog face at Power trying to get him to forgive me.

He did a half smile looking back up to Steph replying.

"I guess... but thanks for being my dad today."

"No problem dude, you're a cool guy!"

I couldn't help but smile and thank Steph so much for filling in where I had definitely dropped the ball.

"Thank you so much Mr.Steph, you have done so much for me and my little one I don't know how to repay you." I explained as power gripped my leg hugging me and I balanced the weight of sleeping Allure.

"It's no prob trust me, but now that you've mentioned repaying... I've always loved a home cook meal." He uttered smiling but the thought of inviting a man into my home around my kids made me nervous.

"I don't cook, I'm sorry. We eat out a lot."

"Well that's cool too, take me on a date." He replied before I could take a breath after the lie I had told.

"We could arrange that..."

"Here why don't you take my number." Steph offered but I gave him the pity look of having my hands full and no phone.

"Well why don't I take yours." Said Steph pulling his iPhone out .

I sighed in my head as I gave him my number unsure of what I was doing exactly. I didn't know if my mind was ready for a man companion just yet.

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      I walked into work the next day knowing I was going to have to face my past again and lord behold Rick had made it there before me and met me at the door with Allure.

"Goodmorning." He greeted putting the cigarette out he had finished smoking.

"Rick not today, this is my job!" I warned as he walked towards me and I knew exactly what the topic was going to be.

"You would have to be one sick individual to keep a child away from their father for what 4 -3 years."

I rolled my eyes pausing in my footsteps as he blocked the entrance.

"What kind of sick individual are you to continue on insisting that a damn child is yours when she isn't! Fuckin stalker!"

"Stalker! Cut the bullshit Madison. You know for a second I tried to think you weren't as dumb as you are but got damn it you just keep proving me wrong! She's identical to my child with Angela And the damn math adds up, she's my seed! Now you're twisted in the damn head to keep this charade up."

"Fuck you rick, even if she was I wouldn't dare have her around a rapist!" I snapped  spuring my words like venom.

"Rapist, wow Madison every fuckin guy you lay down with and have a child with is a rapist, you need to see a damn therapist you're not well. Hell maybe you don't even need to have a child in your custody, you're so damn unfit and deranged."

"Is that the lie you're telling yourself to sleep at night you damn rapist!"

Rick chuckled sarcastically looking away then back at me.

"You're a damaged young women, ask yourself who's really going to believe that you were raped twice. Think about it , what are the fuckin odds of "You" the whore of prestige college being raped twice. You give the damn goods up for free. But You know What I do have to tell myself just to sleep at night... that I'll be forgiven for wrongfully convicting that poor kid because you regretted what you did and accused him."

Ricks words burned like fire in the pit of my soul. I had never seen this side of him let alone heard he mutter such hurtful words that could've made me drown in my own tears. But I refused to give him the joy of knowing he had power over me.

"You're a really sick person. Rejection hurts you that much that you would say such an evil thing. I would never ever open my legs to a sorry ass excuse for a man like you. My child will never be fathered by a pathetic cheating rapist like yourself. You know.... maybe you had a fucked up childhood that's why your marriage is falling a fucking part and your career isn't bringing in the funds to make ends meet so you're living off the checks your dad supplies. You're the defense version of a public offender no one would ever hire you as a real attorney if it wasn't for your fathers last name. Now I have NOTHING else to say to you..."

Thank god Allure was still asleep she didn't have to witness such a disgusting argument from the people that are suppose to be her parents. This is what I wanted to protect her from, this is what I wanted to protect the both of my children from.

As I brushed pass Rick allowing my words to settle in I felt his eyes on me before hearing his voice.

"Look... Madison... I'm sorry you're right. I'm sorry, I just want to be apart of my daughters life I didn't mean any of that." Rick said softly but he had gone to far, it was sealed and stamped for me.

I dropped Allure off and began my shift taking on the second day of Testing with Leon. This time only Dr.Jones was present and running the show.

I was paged to the childcare by Ms.Youlus which made me wonder just why as I made the stroll over.

"What's the matter, is my Lo okay?" I asked as she met me at the door.

"She's ok, the babies okay... it's just That lawyer guy was just over here, asking about her ... one of the new gals didn't know protocol answered a few of his questions before I intervened telling him that's not how we do things around here. Do you know him?"

I sighed relief while inhaling Frustration.

"Did he touch her?" I asked.

"No no.... he just asked her name, how old she was... why he questioning those sorts of things?"

"I don't know but I'm going to find out." I said trying not to make anything too obvious to Ms.Youlus I had made a new life for me and my kids and I'd be damn if I allow him to turn it upside down.

"Please don't ever go near my daughter again. I thought I made myself clear. She is not your child and it's very creepy and suspect to have a random male stalking her in her childcare. Look rick, I'll forgive you if you just forget me." I offered in a low calm tone not trying to throw off the normal setting of things in the clinic.

" why are you painting me out to be this bad guy. I don't know if you remember that night clearly Madison you were drinking and we had  consensual   Sex that you enjoyed just as much as I did. Now rather that was the case afterwards I can only speak for myself... I didn't want to tell you the next day when you asked because you were practically freaking out as if you had been raped. Women go through a state of ptsd after traumatic events like what you went threw and you sometimes begin to believe you were raped even after a consensual night. It was best for me to just stop while I was ahead and give you time to remember the night on your own. You've studied psychology Madison I'm sure you're familiar with this. I would never ever hurt you, not after knowing what you'd been threw. I respected you too much and your parents to ever force you to do anything...Listen I said a lot of things back there out of anger. You have to understand my frustration. I don't want to be the guy you hate because you feel I took advantage of you in your time of weakness and we had sex. I just want to know the truth. Is Allure  my daughter?" Rick asked in a humble tone that matched my initial one.

I looked at the ceiling inhaling and exhaling everything he had said. I began to second guest myself and wonder if maybe I was misunderstanding everything that did happen that night and suppressing the truth.

Rick looked at me awaiting my answer and I I just uttered... "No."  I wasn't ready to tell me him she was.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I had a Dna test done?"

"Are you not happy with your life right now.. I mean with you and Angela and the kids, why ruin something like that. I think both of our lives are fine the way they are, just leave well enough alone."

And with those words I stood leaving Rick to sort things out as I headed back to where I was needed.

I just couldn't make sense of his thinking and why he would want to create such turmoil.