I sat across from Jamie at this cafe called Java Queen I liked to come to sometimes. I ordered two blueberry muffins and hot chocolate. So once we settled in a booth in the back I sort of felt like maybe I should have gotten coffee too.

Not that that would make me seem older, but there Jamie was glancing at a newspaper he nabbed from somewhere; drinking black coffee.

He set the paper down and glanced over at me. I was picking at one of the muffins when he surprised me. "Still feels weird." He said looking at my hand with the ring on it.

"Yeah, I guess it will for a while." I was hoping to keep our conversation more upbeat. I was dreading that this would all end soon and I would regret not saying something.

When I looked up at him he was watching me pick the muffin apart. His lips were in a tight line. He seemed lost in his thoughts but still spoke. "What're we doing?"

I wasn't sure what he meant. "Um, talking?"

"No. I mean, we're married. We are you know."

I know all too well already, I thought. Why was he so irritable all of a sudden?

He continued. "I just, I don't know, I just thought that I'd be in love when I got married."

"Me too." I agreed. I never thought much about getting married before, but I knew I would want to be in love.

He looked down at his hands. He didn't have a band on his ring finger. I felt kind of bad even though I hadn't done anything. I really liked Jamie and it killed me to see him like this.

I didn't know what to say. I knew he didn't love me but just hearing it hit me kind of hard. It wasn't long before I asked him to take me home. I wanted to cry, I could feel it in my chest. It was getting all tight and my eyes were stinging.

I refrained from it long enough to get home and in my bed. It was dark outside and mom still wasn't home but that was okay with me. I cuddled up to my pillow and let the tears roll.

I wanted to ask myself why I was sad. I hadn't known him long. I knew he didn't like me that way but still, I was starting to like him for some reason and I couldn't get him out of my mind.

For the next few days, I refused to answer Jamie's phone calls. What was the point in liking someone that wouldn't like you back?

I didn't know if he was sad, mad, happy, or what, because he never left a voicemail and I don't think I could handle being around him or talking to him right now. I felt childish, to say the least but I just couldn't and that's all I knew.

Tuesday afternoon after school Rain forced me into going shopping with her. I had been sulking around the house like we had been dating for years and he had cut my heart out with a rusty knife.

When In actual reality I was just a little sad that he was sad and that I kind of got my hopes up for nothing. I thought just because we were married that he would automatically love/like me or something and man was I wrong.

"Try this one." Rain threw a white lace pattern see-through lingerie top. I tossed it back at her like it was smoldering hot. I wasn't that kind of girl. I felt awkward enough about buying underwear. Rain laughed and piled lace after lace blouse, underwear and camisole into her cart.

I stood back fiddling with the tag on a T-shirt. I mainly followed Rain around the store. I was broke and she had loads to spend. I was just glad to be out of the house.

The girl that was in front of us in line had a million items in her cart and a list of shiny credit cards in one hand.

She was beautiful. She had this long curled black to blonde ombre hair. She glanced our way and I noticed her bright blue eyes and French manicure.

I stuck my hands in my pockets. I felt inferior, to say the least.

Here I was in ripped jeans and a Nirvana T-shirt. Rain looked better than me in her floral strapless knee-length dress and black cardigan but she always did. I was used to that.

"Peyton, stop staring already." Rain elbowed me in the chest. I shot a heated look at her and looked down.

Jeez, I thought.

"Here you go, Miss Hollie Vawn." I looked up just in time to see the cashier hand credit cards back and she lifted her massive shopping back to go out the door.

"That was her."

"Who? Peyton, you're being odd." Rain was moving on to buying her clothes.

"The girl Jamie really loves." I murmured under my breath as I walked toward the exit.