28. Paint Pants

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I was excited to see him. I stood outside his hotel room almost as nervous as I was excited. I had my algebra 2 textbook with me even though I didn't want to study, I just really needed to.

I thought about how quickly I had Rain take me home to hang my new dress up in my closet and run back downstairs yelling at my mom I was going out with Rain. Though I knew I was coming to Jamies.

Finally, I knocked on the door. After a moment Jamie opened the door. He had the cutest grin on his face.

He was wearing a white shirt and faded jeans with a rip in the knee and old dried paint splattered on it. I'd never seen this version of Jamie and I liked it.

He opened the door wider for me to come in and then he shut it behind us. He led me to the living room. "I hope you don't mind, I ordered us food."

I looked at the boxes of food on the coffee table and was so grateful. I was so tired from not getting much sleep last night, and I'd been drinking coffee all day on an empty stomach. I was rather hungry.

He took my textbook and set it down out of the way, on the opposite side of the table from where we were sitting down. At first, we ate in silence. He had gotten us spaghetti and garlic bread.

"So prom, huh?"

"Oh god. That's embarrassing. I was hoping you didn't hear that."

He twirled his fork in the noodles. "Why are you already going with someone else?"

"Of course not. You are my..." I was finding it so conflicting what he actually was supposed to be called. Was he just my boyfriend or was I supposed to call him my husband?

"You're so cute when you're thinking." He wiped some sauce off the side of my mouth I hadn't realized was there.

"Um," I was full of butterflies with him calling me cute. "Would you want to go to prom with me? I just kind of thought that since you're out of high school you wouldn't want to do something like that."

"If you want me to go I will. I just want to be with you."

"I want that too," I said and told him about the dress that Rain picked out for me. I liked the color a lot.

I was really excited that we were going to this thing together. I would have to let Rain know. I hoped she would be okay with it. If she wasn't I would have to let Jamie know that she needed me.

After we were done eating he put the leftovers in the fridge and came back. "So when's the retakes again?"

"Next Friday."

He sat down beside me and cracked open the textbook. We were sitting on the floor in between the couch and coffee table.

A couple of papers fell out that Michale had tried to help with. It only took a matter of minutes before the table was full of papers and he was trying to help me with a math problem.

I was looking at the rip in the knee of his jeans. I knew this would happen. I knew he would be distracting, but I also didn't care because I was so happy to be with him.

"Pay attention." He chuckled glancing up at me.

"I'm sorry. I've just never seen you wear these pants before."

"What?" He stopped working on the problem and looked down at the rip. "Oh, these are my paint pants."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Your what?"

"Hey, it's not funny." He said but he was totally trying not to laugh too.

"What are paint pants?"

"I will tell you if you finish the problem we're on. How about that?" He pushed the textbook and paper toward me and leaned back like I had this all on my own.

"Okay but just because I really wanna know."

I looked down at the problem. I wrote it out on a separate paper and tried to solve it how Jamie showed me to. I was surprised that I actually remembered what he taught me.

"Done!" I threw my arms up in celebration.

He picked up the paper and looked over my work. Then he looked up and said "It's nothing too special. I have an art studio back home and sometimes I like to paint. These just happen to be my favorite pants to do it in. My parents think it's a waste of time but I don't care."

"And the rip?"

"That was just from wearing them so much." He handed the paperback. "You got the problem right. Good job, sweetheart."

That made me freeze and realize how comfortable all this felt. I stared at him. That was the first time he had called me anything like that. It made me feel so good.

"Thanks to you I'm starting to really understand all this." I touched the paper. Then I picked up the pencil again and tried to work through some more of them.

Some time had gone by. I was starting to feel the weight of my tiredness, but I didn't want to go to sleep yet. I was almost done with the practice and I could spend time with Jamie doing something other than homework.

I had been staring at the same problem trying to stay awake when Jamie leaned toward me. I could feel his breath on my ear. "It's okay to take a break."

"I just have to finish this." My eyes shut, and I quickly opened them again startling myself a little.

"It's just practice, and honestly you already pretty much have a great grasp of it. It's okay to take a break." He went to shut the book but I wouldn't let him.

"No. I don't want to fail. I want to graduate and not be..."

What was I going to say? I didn't want to be a failure? I didn't want Jamie to view me that way. I wanted to be able to be more than just a high schooler with no direction. He made me feel like I could be more than that.

"You can. You can do anything you put your mind to." Jamie said as I opened my eyes. My head was laying against the textbook pages.

I looked up at him. He said, "You were mumbling just now."

When I lifted my face I felt embarrassed I'd said that stuff out loud. He shut the book and asked if I needed a ride home.

"Jamie, I hate that I used all my time doing homework. I'm sorry. I ruined our date and I don't wanna go home yet."

"It wasn't a date."

"I always do that..."

"Pey, don't be sad. That's not what I meant. I just want to take you somewhere nice for a date." He touched my face and lifted my chin to look him in the eyes. "I wish you would see how much I like you."

"You really do?"

"I do. That's why I asked you to be my girlfriend."

"I know. I guess I just get confused with you asking that and being married to you."

"Would you feel better if I called you my wife?" He was completely serious-looking right into my eyes.

"I want to be your girlfriend and I also want to be married to you. I just thought... I don't know."

"No, tell me. What did you think?"

"I don't want you to feel like you have to marry me. We just started dating. I've never really dated someone before but I feel like if I just say I want to be your wife I'll never get to experience it all."

"So you're having second thoughts about being with me?" He dropped his hand and before I could explain that he misunderstood me he was getting to his feet and walking into the other room.

After a moment I realized he wasn't coming back, so I got up and walked into his bedroom. He had turned on a lamp and was sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Are you okay, Jamie?"

He patted the bed beside him, and I walked over to sit down. We sat in silence for a minute, then he said. "I've never felt this way before. You have my heart."

I was surprised to see tears falling down his cheeks.

"Jamie, you misunderstood me. I just meant that I don't want to miss out on everything with you like the proposal and the planning. I had never really given marriage a whole lot of thought before I met you, but I knew I would want more than to just have woke up married."

He didn't say anything. I wondered if maybe he was still upset with me. When I got up to leave he followed. He stopped me in the bedroom doorway and pulled my face to his.

When we pulled apart I was breathless.

"Okay," He finally said. "If that's what you want. I'll make it happen."

I was just happy he wasn't sad anymore.

The next moment he was walking over to the bed. He laid down and then motioned for me to come over. It hit me then that maybe he wanted more than to just kiss. I wasn't sure I was ready to do that with him yet. I mean we just started dating. It was way too soon.

I slowly walked over nervous. I laid down facing him. He just smiled and it put me more at ease. "Jamie," My voice was so light. I don't know if I'm ready to..."

He seemed to understand. "I wasn't trying to force you to do anything. I wanted to cuddle. I thought you would too since you practically passed out on your math work."

"It's seriously okay if we, you know, don't right now?"

"Yeah, it's okay. You worry so much." He said. I was glad he was okay with waiting. I knew I couldn't wait forever but I just wanted to be more ready than this.

Relieved I rolled over to have my back toward him. He pulled his arm around me and snuggled his face up to the back of my head.

I laid there having a hard time keeping my eyes open. I felt so happy being in his arms.

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