It felt like forever; sitting in the silence of Jamie's hotel room looking through the pictures again for what seemed like the hundredth time. I was wrapped up in this feeling of anxiety.
I didn't expect him to be in such a bad mood. I was starting to think it was more because of his dad than because of me. I still wasn't sure though.
I didn't want him to come back and tell me that it would all be over, and that that would just be that but part of me had more hope and that helped me from going full blown depressed.
I shifted and looked up when I heard the key turn in the lock.
The door shut with a thud and Jamie appeared at the edge of the couch moments later. I looked up at him and tried to decipher his expression. He looked neither happy nor sad.
He rubbed his forehead and said. "You should get up."
I didn't know how to respond. I just quickly got to my feet. My heart felt like it was sinking into my stomach.
I guess he didn't want me here after all. Maybe his dad talked him into it and it worked. Would he just say something like that to spare my feelings somewhat? I'll go on to live in a delusional bliss.
He took the photos out of my hands quickly surprising me. I hadn't noticed him even grab for them. He looked through them swiftly at first and then slowed down and looked at them with more attention.
His green eyes looked up and met mine. "Opal gave you these didn't she?"
I shook my head yes sort of slowly.
"Our wedding was nice." I mean it wasn't like there were fountains and decorations and cake or people, but we looked cute together. Well, kind of. I did have a bandage on my head.
We stood in silence for a moment. I was going out on a limb here. If I pushed too hard he might just send me home and I wasn't ready to face that or the bus or that insane lady again. "Um, can we talk?"
I was stunned by him. "What do you want to talk about?"
My mouth nearly went dry. Now that I had my moment my mind went blank. We were standing here several feet apart in the middle of his living room. It felt a little awkward. I couldn't get past how placid and non-emotional he seemed.
"Everything." I breathed and fiddled with the hem of my shirt.
"Peyton," He walked toward me to fill the void. He dropped the photos to the coffee table and grabbed my hands. "Okay. Everything it is."
I smiled , and in return he smiled back.

"I was thinking about what you said before," He squeezed my hands a little. "You said you liked me. Do you really?"
I was completely shocked. I nodded yes. It was like I couldn't form words but I was glad that my feelings were being recognized.
"I'm actually pretty flattered." He was smiling now. He had the cutest smile.
"I just kind of blurted it though."
"The truth is I'm not that great with expressing myself. I've never really shared things openly and I know that probably makes me seem hard to approach. I've been told that I'm mysterious and cold but I just don't know what to say sometimes so I don't say anything."
I actually had thought he was pretty mysterious myself at one point. I'd never thought that maybe he was just a little shy and nervous himself around me. He played being cool so well.
"It's okay. You can talk to me." I said, squeezing his hands back. I loved holding his hands. I felt so happy in this moment even though I wasn't sure where this would be going.
He bit his lip. "I was thinking about what you yelled at me the whole car ride back too. I'm sorry that I just assumed that whatever this is was more. I know I have been confusing. Honestly I've been pretty confused lately."
"What do you mean?" I asked. I swore I could hear my heartbeat in my ears.
"Well, I was sent here to make sure this hotel branch was running smoothly. My dad didn't have the time to come here while he's managing his main hotel in Boston. So he asked me to come here, and I agreed because I knew that Hollie had moved nearby here. It was a stupid reason to agree to it, but you know I wouldn't of met you if I hadn't."
"But what's confusing about that?" I nervously giggled.
"I didn't intend on meeting you. It all just happened, and at first I was trying to figure out how I was going to fix it, then I felt responsible for your safety. That's why I wanted to make sure you got to school and home safe. I've never worried about someone so much in my whole life."
He paused for a moment. His face was turning a little pink. I think maybe he was starting to get embarrassed.
Then he continued. "Before I knew it you were all I could think about and I missed you when you were gone. I realized I liked you too when we were at the amusement park, and I upset you."
It was nice to see him opening up. I think it was the most he had ever really talked to me. To think all it took was me yelling my feelings at him.
"When you went home I felt so bad, I just knew it would be hard for us with you being a couple years younger than me, and with my family. I kept wanting to kiss you, but I kept telling myself I can't. That I had ruined your life."
"You didn't ruin my life, Jamie. I swear. I feel like it's been better since you have come into it."
"That's nice to hear." He said " You know I basically told the judge never mind. That I didn't want to get a divorce. Is that okay?"
"Yeah as long as you don't mind being married to me. I'm clumsy, and weird, and I don't have many friends..."
"You're beautiful, and talented, and the sweetest person I've ever met. I think you're perfect the way you are." He leaned in until our foreheads were almost meeting. Then his lips met mine.
I smiled against his lips as his hand met my face. The kiss was amazing and left me breathless.
When he pulled away he seemed the same way. "I just wanted to be clear that you mean alot to me. I would like it if you would be my girlfriend."
His face was turning a little red. He covered his face with his hand. "I'm so embarrassed. I've never really asked anyone out before."
"But didn't you ask out Hollie?"
He shook his head slightly. "It just kind of happened. I met her while I was sketching outside. She would come lingering around and ask me to draw her. After a while she started telling people we were together and I didn't argue."
Wow. Her version was different but honestly she seemed a little conniving so I'd believe him over her any day.
"Let's not talk about her okay?" He grabbed my hands again. "I wanted to show you something anyways. I'm glad you came by."
"Okay!" I was in bliss. I touched my lips and smiled. He just asked me to be his girlfriend. For some reason that made me so happy even though funnily I have been his wife this whole time. It just felt so real.
He pulled me behind him into his room, and left me standing there while he dug in his walk in closet. His stuff was pretty organized but he still couldn't seem to find what he was looking for in the stack of notebooks and books he had on the floor.
"Um, Jamie..."
"Yeah?" He was in his closet so his voice was a little muffled. I walked closer, and leaned against the door frame.
"I would really like it. To be your girlfriend I mean."
He glanced back at me with a smile that flashed his white teeth. "I'm glad to hear that."
I squeezed in the closet with him. "Can I help?"
"Oh it's okay. I found it."
He handed me a black book with a red spine, and sort of smiled at me. Oh, what that smile did to me. "What is it?" I asked as I took it. Then he handed me another book that was black with  pink roses spreading across the cover.
"Look and find out."
I sat down on the floor with my legs criss-crossed. Jamie did the same. We sat in his closet beside each other with our backs against the wall not saying anything. I set the rose covered one down while I looked through the red spined book.
He undid his tie and unbuttoned a couple off the top, and leaned back. He seemed more at ease beside me suddenly.
The book was full of sketches, doodles, and fully detailed drawings. I was officially blown away. The pictures ranged from trees and flowers to little caricatures, and loopy quick doodles in some corners. Way better than my little sloppy doodles on my math homework.
I wasn't exactly thrilled when I came across Hollie's portrait. It looked just like her, her beautiful hair pulled onto one shoulder; trailing down her lace shirt and her manicured hands were placed on either side of her knee length skirt.
He captured her perfectness in one picture. I was jealous, and confused why he would show this to me. It didn't make things better, it made me sad.
I didn't know how long I was staring at that picture before Jamie cleared his throat. I looked up at him. "It's okay, Jamie." I wanted to sound mature but I knew my voice was cracking. "It's okay if you lov- l-like her."
It wasn't okay and I knew it would never be okay for him to love her and for her to be his, but I couldn't keep pushing my feelings at him and force him to forget what he really wants. I wanted him to be happy. At the moment that was what really seemed to matter.
I was really happy that he liked me back, but if he liked her more what could I do?
"I know you don't really mean that." He pointed out. I didn't respond. I had just ended up giving it away that he was in fact right.
"You know why I know that?" He asked me, but didn't give me time to say anything before he was answering his own question. "I wouldn't be okay with you being with Michael, even though you seemed to like him."
"I don't. I promise. I set him straight and hurt Rain with that mess. Plus we talked earlier today, and I think everything will be okay. I think he finally is okay with being just friends." I looked down at the picture again.
"Maybe you should turn the page." Jamie offered.
"Do you really love her?" I asked looking at Hollie. I really liked him and It would always nag at me if I didn't get a clear answer.
"What do you want me to say, Peyton?" He sounded defeated.
"The truth." I managed.
"The truth is I use to like her. Lately not so much." I wanted to know for sure, but I couldn't stand to hear him so down. "Besides I didn't show you my drawings to bring up things."
"Then explain this." I pointed at the picture in front of me. Her face was on the page in front of me and I didn't want to look at her anymore.
He pulled the book away from me quickly and ripped the portrait straight out of the book and crumpled it into a ball. Then he chucked it across the closet. It hit the wall opposite to us and came back and landed in the middle of us.
Even in a crumpled ball, Hollie seemed to come between us.