We found what was becoming our usual spot in the corner near the bricked wall with the low hanging lantern lights.

He ordered us drinks and we cracked open the textbook to start. We went over a couple chapters and filled in my homework questions.

After a couple of hours my brain hurt, and I was starting to get distracted by everything though. I wasn't feeling it.

It was already becoming night and they were having their weekly poetry slam. It wasn't entirely all that loud but it was interesting.

Plus I couldn't stop thinking about him and Hollie together. It was depressing me, and I felt like the only reason we were together was because of the homework.

I looked around and saw all these couples watching the slam and wondered what it would have been like if Jamie felt the same way and we came here tonight on a date.

"Pey, are you paying attention?" He had stopped working out the equation and looked up at me.

"Um, I just," I felt bad for zoning out. "I'm gonna go to the ladies' room for a moment."

I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Jamie said he'd work out the rest of the problems we were on and explain it when I got back.

I went to the last sink and looked at my reflection. My face was sort of pink. I was embarrassed about thinking about Jamie and her while I should be studying. He was trying to help me and here I was with my head not in the game.

I glanced over as a couple of girls came in. They were going on about some guy. The redhead seemed agitated with her friend. They seemed to be having a conflict about the guy. It made me think of Rain and how I wish we were talking.

I wanted her to be more understanding. I also wished I had gone after her that time and made her listen to me. Maybe we would still be friends.

The redhead was throwing her hands up as she spoke. I actually thought the show was pretty entertaining, even though I shouldn't be watching.

The other girl argued back as I went to leave the restroom. I didn't need to use it. I just needed to clear my mind. I didn't need to be thinking about anything but studying...

They seemed to be having a silly argument.

"Whatever!" The redhead spat, and nearly pushed me out of the way on my way out the door. On my way back to the table the other girl passed me. Maybe there was hope for them, I thought as I sat back down across from Jamie.

I took a deep breath feeling my mind a little clearer somehow. When I looked up Jamie was looking at me. "Would you be interested in a white party?"

"What?" I was completely surprised. I had just sat down at the table when he asked.

He turned my textbook around so it was facing me. I noticed he had finished my homework and written notes on a separate sheet of paper. I only had a couple of questions left when I went to the restroom and yet he already completed them. I was in awe.

"I was thinking we could take a break. You seem drained." He smiled. "And it's this gathering my parents are having at the end of May. I was wondering if you might want to go?"

"You want me to?" I was surprised he was inviting me to something like that. "Wouldn't you rather Hollie go with you?"

I realized all too quickly that I shouldn't have said that. It came out like I was being super jealous, but I wasn't trying to be. I just didn't want to piss off his girlfriend. It killed me to think of her as his girlfriend...

His smile had faded. "Why would I go with Hollie?"

I felt like I had a knot in my stomach. I wanted to go back to talking about homework. That was safe. I didn't want to say anything wrong or anything but my mouth seemed to have a mind of its own and I couldn't hold back.

"Because she's your girlfriend."

His lips parted and he actually seemed really confused. It lasted for a second before he pressed his lips into a straight line, and leaned back in his chair. He just looked across the table at me, and it made me uneasy.

Had I really said something wrong? He was with her. Wasn't he?

He was making me question myself with his reaction. Then he asked. "Is that why you've been weird since the other day?"

"I haven't been weird! What do you mean?" I asked and he actually cracked a smile.

"Hollie and I just talked the other day. I actually didn't want to meet with her, but she was persistent, and we both agreed that we were adults and should be able to still remain friends."

So you're single? I thought and suddenly I was more nervous than before. I needed to calm down. Just because he was free didn't mean that he didn't have feelings for her and that he did for me. Then I remembered that he said he liked me the night before, but he couldn't act on it I guess.

Maybe there was hope, I thought.

"I'm sorry I just assumed." I was actually really happy that they weren't together. It had been bothering me. It was good they decided to be friends, even though I knew that she wanted to be more still...

I re-opened the textbook and only glanced down at the paper. I could feel my face getting hotter with the blush creeping up my cheeks. I couldn't stop thinking about how there could be hope now.

"You never answered me about the party." He sipped his coffee and handed me my pencil.

"Oh, um, yeah." I was still surprised he'd want me to go. I started doodling something in the margins of my paper and realized I was being kind of rude. "I mean yes. That sounds fun."

"Good. Make sure you wear all white." He said looking down at the sketch on my paper. He pulled the paper toward him and stared at it before looking back up at me. "You should wear something like this."

"I wish." I giggled. It was just a doodle of a short dress with a puffy bottom and a ribboned waist. I just thought it looked cute.

"I know someone that can make it a reality. I'll see what I can do." He had so much faith in my doodle, it made me feel like it was decent art.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm but it's just a sloppy sketch." I was blushing. "You're probably a better drawer than me. Hollie said..." I trailed off and my eyes went wide.

"When did you talk to Hollie?" He didn't seem exactly happy now.

"Um, yesterday she drove me home. Well, kind of. She didn't seem to like me very much, and I think I made her mad. I'm not sure..."

"Why?" He asked.

"What do you mean why? I don't know. She offered and I don't know I just did."

"You shouldn't have."

"Why?" It was my turn. That knot I had previously in my stomach felt like it was getting tighter now. Why did he seem so mad all of a sudden? Did he still like her?

"Because you can't trust her, Peyton. Do you understand that?"

I stared at him. This hit me hard. It didn't feel like he was being fair. "But you can be friends with her and it's all okay."

"That's different."

My heart was flooding with this sad feeling. He still had to like her...

It was just adding onto the already hurt I had stored from Rain and everything. "How is it different? You can't get mad at me for accepting a car ride from her, while you're being friends with her. If she can't be trusted maybe you should rethink your choices."

"Maybe I do need to rethink my choices. I've apparently had some really bad judgment." He was looking right at me and I felt so small.

That wasn't what I wanted. He was supposed to be the mature level headed Jamie that he has been. I was afraid he might get mad like he did that one time, and I couldn't handle that.

What I was more afraid of was way worse. I nearly whispered it. "Do you still love her, Jamie?"

He just looked at me, and then went to get up. "I think it's time I took you home."

My eyes were watering to fill the silence that followed as we packed everything up and went to leave. I guess that pretty much confirmed it. It hurt a lot more than I thought it might.

He didn't say another word. He just backed out of the parking lot and took me home. I wanted to know desperately what he was thinking and how we could possibly fall apart just because I wondered about his drawing ability.

I knew he was just agitated about me being with Hollie but why was he so mad? I was so confused, and I just wanted him to open up and not hate me.

I felt like I was barely hanging on by the time he pulled into my driveway. We sat in silence with the engine running. He was waiting for me to get out and I didn't want to.

He was looking at his hands on the steering wheel. He had on his wedding band. That was the first time I had ever noticed him wear it and it just made things worse. Why was he wearing it now? And why was I just noticing it?

Everything seemed so weird. Tears streamed down my flushed face. I wished I wasn't so sensitive. I felt like I was making the situation that much worse.

I could hear him take a deep breath. "Peyton, calm down. Please?"

"I c-can't," I was hiccuping now to go along with the baby sobbing.

"We could be happy." He said, but I barely heard it over my own blubbering. I wondered if that was what he had actually said.

I nodded. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. My heartfelt collapsed and all the pain was surging through me. I couldn't lose him either.

It took me several minutes to calm down enough to make sense. "D-d-do you mean that?"

His green eyes met mine. "I do."

"B-but," I was stuttering and my nose was kind of running. I felt like a complete mess. What did that mean? How could we be happy? I was so confused and very upset. Was he making any sense anymore?

"You shouldn't worry so much." He was calmer now than he sounded before. I had to worry though. Hollie was still in his heart like she had predicted and without a doubt, she would lure him back in. I hated to think about such things, but we weren't together.

"I'm confused, Jamie."

"What about?" He asked. He no longer seemed mad or bothered. His tone was gentle but I still felt like things weren't going in a good direction. I was sniveling and I looked terrible crying like this.

"What are we doing?" I felt like he had asked me this before, and yet it became my turn to ask. With all this heavy feeling on me, I felt like I really needed to know.

I leaned back against the car and looked up into his eyes.

"We're together." He seemed a little confused.

"We're married but..." I trailed off.

I liked him so much, but he loved another girl. This was all just a big mistake and I really didn't want to accept it. I couldn't but I would probably have to...

He picked up quickly. "Are you asking me if we're dating?"

I just looked down at my hands. I wasn't sure what I was asking anymore. I just felt so drained from everything today, and honestly, I didn't want to think anymore. I just wanted him to not be mad at me. I didn't want to feel so down.

I didn't lookup. "It's okay. I never intended to make things awkward between us. I never thought we were dating."

That was the last thing I needed was for him to think I was some crazy obsessed girl who declared that we were dating just because he spent some time with me. I wanted to be with him, but there was no way he wanted that too.

He was someone extraordinary trapped in this bound mess with someone ordinary.

"Well, I thought we were." He surprised me. I looked up at him, and his green eyes lingered off of me for a moment.

My mouth was nearly dry all of a sudden and I couldn't seem to form words. "W-we...uh, what?" My heart was pounding so loud in my chest, and all the heat in my body seemed to rush to my face.

He went to say something but stopped. He seemed at a loss for words, and I felt so confused, and sort of happy, and also sad. It was the weirdest combination of feelings I'd ever experienced.

It fell silent, and I wasn't sure what to say now. It seemed like he wasn't sure either. We both just sat there and looked out the windshield at the garage door.

After what seemed like forever he said. "Let's just call it a night."

"You're right."

My heart had calmed, and my tears were at bay, but I still had the weirdest feeling swirling around in my chest. I didn't want it to end like this. I had to say something.

Once I was out of the car I looked in the window and took a deep breath. "I'm actually pretty surprised. I don't really know what to say. I just..." I could feel the tears trying to spill again. "I just really like you, and I didn't know we were...was...am...whatever this is was going on."

The tears were coming again hot and fresh and I was so embarrassed already. I ran inside and let my back slide down the door. I hoped that I could think more clearly in the morning.