I should have known this would happen. Rain was ignoring me and I guess in a way I deserved it but I also didn't. I hadn't really done anything wrong. Plus I didn't have time for her to be acting like this; I was kind of wrapped up in my own thoughts.

I felt better after talking to Jamie this morning but it still bugged me that Hollie knew him better than me. That even though we seemed okay this morning my gut still felt like it could be over with the snap of Hollie's perfectly manicured boney ass fingers.

No matter how much I tried to accept that he was with her, and that it had to make sense, I just didn't want it to be true. I mean maybe I had no chance with the guy, but I just couldn't bring myself to be okay with this.

I was aggravated and getting sadder by the second. The happiness high Jamie left me with was fading and I wanted to see him again real soon but I couldn't.

Mr. Gonzo was all about the algebra scores increasing. I kind of needed to improve, even though I didn't want to tell anyone about my failing I knew I'd have to, because to face the truth I pretty much sucked hard core at math.

So luckily Jamie said he would pick me up this afternoon and we could go study at the coffee shop he has grown to like apparently. I was so relieved.

He said there was a Java Queen back home and his cousin Jay bragged about it all the time. He said he couldn't wait to tell him he finally got to check one out.

I was dead set on going to study, and not letting Rain bug me with her cold shoulder. I just wish I had my friend back. This felt ridiculous.

Michael caught me by the wrist as I was heading out the door. He pulled me to the side. "Peyton, I think we need to talk."

I stared at him. His cool blue eyes. What did he want? The truth was out and Rain hated us both.

"It's about..." He started but I cut him off.

"I know, Michael. You kissed me. Believe me I know. What the heck was that about anyways?" I couldn't do this anymore. Pretending like it didn't matter. It did, not because I liked Michael that way, but because Rain mattered to me, and I thought she had to him. It didn't seem like him.

"I've always liked you." He looked like he felt defeated.

"I like you too," I said. He was a good friend despite everything and I knew he meant more than friends when he said that but he knew I didn't feel that way. "I use to like you a lot, Michael, but things have changed. I like you as just a friend."

"But what about that night?"

"What night?"

"The night you meet me at the beach." His eyes were searching mine. Like he really needed me to tell him what he wanted to hear, but I was only going to say the truth.

"At that point I still liked you a little, but I'd mostly moved on. I liked the idea of you. I wanted what you had with Rain more than anything. You treated her right, you were a gentleman, and you seemed to be everything a girl would need or want. Smart and everything. Even then I was going to tell you that I realized I only liked you as a friend. That was it, Michael."

"Is it because of that guy?" He grabbed for my hand but I pulled it away.

"That guy helped me completely move on from my little crush on you and he had no idea." My voice wavered a little. Though he stayed a couple hours after I'd fallen asleep, I still felt like the furthest thing from what would be on Jamie's mind.

"Are you sure you're not forcing yourself to like him because of Rain?" He was looking so down. I knew me telling him all this hurt his feelings but he just broke my best friend's heart and created such a mess between all of us I just wasn't in the mood to spare his feelings. He needed to know what I thought, or he would never let go.

"For the first time in my life I felt this feeling when I was with him and even when I wasn't. I felt happy, I want to always be with him and to make him happy. I have never felt that way about you. I'm sorry, Michael."

"He doesn't know you the way I do though." Michael was pleading with his eyes. He wanted to suck me in with those baby blues of his.

I had to look away. "Peyton, I was so jealous when I saw you with him, and I just kind of lost it. Then I kissed you and it became so clear. Could you please just give me a chance?"

I shook my head no. He had to be kidding...

His voice was wavering too now. "Please don't refuse me. I should have never pushed you away. I regret it. I do. Forgive me. Please. Peyton?"

"I can't." I took a deep breath. I really wanted this to be over. I'd said all that I had to say and he was going to make me very uncomfortable if he kept being like this.

Michael pulled my chin up to look him in the eyes but I pushed his hand away. I wished he would just stop being so familiar with me.

He was crying and I wished he would stop. I didn't want to upset him but I had told him the truth. He would have to accept it. "Do you really love him?"

In the corner of my eye I could see Jamie's car pull up, and I figured Michael had too. I yanked myself free. "I do."

Then I walked away from him. I couldn't be here anymore. Michael was in denial and wouldn't listen to me.

I slid in and stared out the window. Jamie seemed to be in a good mood, but I was stuck in my own pity party. I lost my best friend, her ex-boyfriend wanted to be with me, and I might not be able to graduate.

"So we're still going to Java Queen right?" He asked and I nodded. I guess after a couple minutes of silence he noticed I was in a mood. "Did something happen today, Pey?"

"A lot of stuff is on my mind right now."

He was silent for a moment. I thought maybe he wasn't happy with that response but that was until he said. "I understand. I've had a lot on my mind lately too."

I wondered what was on his mind. Probably Hollie, but I wondered if I ever lingered in his thoughts and made him smile for no reason.