Chapter 21 - Nowhere

"Cameron?" Venus murmured as she laid on her side, facing me. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

I nodded.

"Would you...If someone asked what your sexuality was, would you say you liked girls?"

Venus obviously phrased the question that way because she was still holding my hands. I didn't want her to let go of my hands either, so I nodded. I refused to be ashamed to admit it to her. Nothing about Venus's behavior made me even question whether she would hate me for it, because she was an open and understanding person.

The only reason I was nervous to respond was over what she would say next. Would she tell me she liked girls, too? Was it just out of curiosity? Would she suddenly feel uncomfortable over the way she was acting and apologize for leading me on?

I nodded, and Venus smiled at me. "Cool. There's nothing wrong with that."

I pulled my hands away from Venus's and shimmied closer to hug her and snuggle my head into her chest. She chuckled as she hugged me back, soothingly rubbing my back.

"Please tell me no one ever bullied you over it," she softly pleaded, and I quickly shook my head. "Did anyone ever know?" I shook my head again. "If anyone ever makes fun of you or belittles you for being gay, let me know. I'll get the whole crew together to kick their ass for you. No one deserves to be hurt over who they are."

Nothing Venus said after that acknowledged whether or not she, in some way, liked girls, too. She admitted that there was no love between her and Jack, that she was only with him because of their parents, assured me that it was okay to be gay, and claimed to be grateful that she could talk to me about anything. Without her mentioning anything about her sexuality, I had to believe that she was gay in some way and that I didn't have a chance to be with her.

It made her hugs bittersweet. I always grounded myself in reality around me, but for the first time, I indulged in something I wanted but couldn't have. I basked in the way Venus held me and enjoyed every second of it. From the moment she let go so we could climb under her covers to when she cuddled me in the dark, I indulged myself and allowed myself to enjoy it. One day, I believed I would be able to experience this again, so I enjoyed what I could with Venus in the meantime.

"I hope you don't mind that I like cuddling in my sleep," she whispered in my ear, her warm breath tickling my ear. I shook my head and pulled her arms tighter around me, letting her know it was okay. "You really are a snuggle bug, aren't you?" she giggled, kissing the back of my head. "I love it."

And I love her.

^^^

Soft fingers gently cascaded through my tangle hair in a comforting manner. I refused to open my eyes, wanting to remain asleep a while longer. I knew the moment I woke up, Venus would stop so she could greet me, but I wanted to enjoyed her hands in my hair a little longer.

Venus's phone on the side table vibrated, and she stretched back to answer. "Hello...No, I'm busy...So what if I am? You know she's my best friend," she deadpanned as her grip around my waist tightened. "Suck it up...of course I do, dumbass."

Venus hung up and dropped the phone on the bed before cuddling up against my back. She kissed the back of my ear and whispered, "Don't worry. I'm not leaving you."

With words like those, I knew my feelings for her weren't going anywhere anytime soon.