Chapter 12 - Love Suffocation

"How long is Jack in town for this time?" Brad asked as he and Venus sat down at our usual lunch table. Two more people joined, so Lindsey and I had to sit at the empty table next to them. She flashed a pitiful smile at me, and I rolled my eyes.

"Two weeks," Venus replied. "Then he leaves for a week and is back for a month, possibly longer."

"Damn, he's lucky. Always getting to travel with his dad. I bet he doesn't even do any schoolwork. He probably buys his grades," Nico snickered.

"He's done it before," Venus shrugged. "But what can I say, it's his life. He learns what he needs to know, and that's that."

"Where is he now?"

"Out to lunch with his dad. It's their guy's day, and I won't interfere on that," Venus replied.

Lindsey gently slapped my shoulder, and I jerked my head away from Venus to look at her. Why are you forcing yourself to listen to that?

No matter what, Venus is my friend, I firmly replied. Just my friend, so I need to be there to support her and her boyfriend.

If you two are such great friends, then why isn't she sitting with us? She likes you more than those guys.

I don't think she realized we're over here, yet. I shook my head. I don't care. I don't want to face her right now.

What happened?

It was my mom's birthday yesterday-

Oh, happy birthday to her, Lindsey beamed.

She's dead.

I'm so sorry.

I blame myself, I admitted. She was coming to see me perform in my fifth grade choir recital when she was hit by a car and slammed into a semi. She died instantly, so at least she didn't feel any pain.

That sounds horrible. At least she died without pain, right?

For the first time, someone wasn't trying to tell me it wasn't my fault. Lindsey merely offered her condolences. It was relieving not to hear anyone try to tell me it wasn't my fault. I knew that no matter what, it was because of me that she died. Even if I wasn't the one who crashed into her, it was still my fault she was on the road. And Lindsey wasn't telling me anything otherwise.

I guess that is true.

Is Venus worried about how you're taking the anniversary?

No, she saw me crying, and I kind of broke down in front of her window. I glanced back at Venus, and she locked eyes with me, staring at me with deep concern. I'm just a little embarassed to face her.

Don't you share your free period together?

Usually, we do, but I was in the digital media room catching up on a project, so I was able to avoid her. I don't know how long I will be able to.

She's not likely going to forget.

I exhaled. I know. I'm going to use the bathroom. I'll be right back.

The women's bathroom was next to the cafeteria, so it wasn't much of a walk. I quickly did my business and exited the stall, only to spot Venus leaning against the sink with her arms crossed, her eyes glossy, and her bottom lip pouted.

I stepped up to the sink next to her and washed my hands. Venus didn't say anything until I grabbed a paper towel to dry my hands.

"You were just...miserable," she whispered, staring at the tiled floors. "Absolutely heartbroken, and...I thought it was because of me. I thought I did something to make you cry."

It wasn't you, I quickly lied. She couldn't know.

"I know. I saw you mention to Lindsey that your mom died. I'm so sorry."

I nodded, covering my mouth and looking away from her. I refused to cry at school. That just gave potential bullies a direct target at me.

Someone walked into the bathroom, and Venus stood in front of me, blocking me from view.

Do you really think it's your fault?

It's my fault she was on the road.

Even if you blame yourself, you need to learn to forgive yourself. Or else you're going to be stuck in that miserable head of yours forever, and you don't deserve that.

I stared at Venus's hands in shock. Slowly, I signed, You're getting a lot better.

Yeah, I've been practicing more. I even dropped my German class so I could take sign language. Lindsey has even been giving me some pointers, she explained excitedly. I want to be able to translate for you when you need someone. Plus, I know you prefer sign language, so I want to have fluent conversations with you.

I exhaled a shaky breath and wiped the tears from my eyes. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. Dad and I learned sign language because we needed a way to communicate. Venus merely wanted to learn for me.

I threw my arms around her neck and squeezed tightly.

Venus chuckled. "Those better be happy tears," she whispered in my ear, and I quickly nodded. "Good. Beautiful girls like yourself should never have to cry."

It was a very cheesy line, but it still made my heart flutter. Venus was good at that, and I'm sure she knew she was. She used those lined any time she possibly could, and they always made me happy. Venus was going to kill me with a love suffocation.