Chapter 16 - Vibrations

Lucas led me into the living room and gestured to the couch. As I sat down on the soft cushions, I sank into the couch. The cushions had to have been filled with feathers. I gasped as I sank, and Lucas sucked in his lips to prevent himself from chuckling.

This couch used to belong to my grandma. Mom decided to keep it after we sent her to a retiring home. As sinkish as it is, it's her favorite piece of furniture, Lucas explained.

That's sweet, I smiled.

I guess. I still wish we could buy a new couch. Lucas shook his head with a curt chuckle. Sorry. You were going to tell me about being selective mute.

Right, I slowly nodded, sucking in my cheeks. It's not that long of a story, but when I was in fifth grade, I was supposed to sing This Little Light Of Mine in our choir recital, and I found out that my mom was rammed into a semi on her way to watch me.

Do you blame yourself?

She wouldn't have taken that road if it weren't for me. If my voice killed someone as special as my mom, I don't want my voice to ever kill someone again. So, I haven't spoken ever since.

God, that must have been really hard on you.

Yeah. It was worse when all of my friends ignored me when they realized I couldn't speak anymore. I've tried, but I'm too scared to. I stopped trying, and people stopping trying to make an effort to communicate with me.

You didn't have any friends who knew or learned sign language?

No. I was outcasted as a freak and either ignored or harassed.

Then that means you were never given a name sign, right?

I shook my head. It was customary that only a deaf person could give someone a name sign. I'd never met someone deaf before, so I was excited to finally have a name sign. It was annoying to always have to have my name spelled out. Not to mention that it would be easier when introducing myself.

Lucas lifted his hand to make a C. He lifted it to the corner of his head, having the letter face him before he turned it outward. It was as though I was signing 'hello' but with my name.

I love it! I rejoiced. How did you come up with it?

You seem like a friendly, open person. I thought it fit you.

I love it. So does Venus have a sign, or do you also just sign the planet?

We sign the planet. I don't think she knows I can give her one, and it's going to be funny when she gets upset that I haven't given her one yet, he laughed.

That's so mean, I signed, but I couldn't help but smile, too.

Oh, she'll think it's funny, too. Don't worry. I've known her long enough to know she won't actually be offended, he promised. So what's the deal with you two?

We're just friends.

I don't buy it.

What did Lindsey say? I asked, rolling my eyes.

She didn't say anything, Lucas stated. I merely saw it with my own eyes.

Lindsey says the same damn thing all the time. She's dating Jack. She isn't the type who would cheat on her boyfriend. Not to mention that she has a boyfriend.

Doesn't matter. There are bi and pansexuals out there. She could be interested in you.

I refuse to believe she could ever be interested in me until she breaks up with Jack. Otherwise, she's doing that girl thing where we act flirty to each other but aren't actually interested.

But are you interested?

I am definitely falling in love with her, but I have a firm grip on reality to know that she will never be anything more than just a friend. I'd rather continue to think like that instead of hope and get hurt. I don't want these feelings to be the reason I lose my first real friend, I explained. She means the world to me. I will eventually stop loving her, so I enjoy what I have with her while I can.

I guess that makes sense. Still sucks to watch the person you love be with someone else, right?

God, did your boyfriend cheat on you?

Lucas nodded. He has been for a while. Stupid bastard. Yet I can't help but still love him.

I imagine you would.

Yeah, but I'll find someone else. Someone who's better than him. He smirked. Maybe I'll date a musician.

Musician? I skeptically asked, and he nodded happily. I don't mean to be rude when I ask this, but won't it be hard dating a musician when you can't hear music?

I can hear music, he signed. I love listening to music. I was listening to Stevie Wonder before you came here.

How?

Wait here, I'll show you.

Lucas ran up the stairs and came back down with his phone and headphones. He blared Stevie Wonder through the headphones, and I could hear it faintly play. He placed the headphone against my wrist, and I felt the vibration of the beat.

"This is how I used to listen to music before I got my hearing aid. I always loved going to concerts and feeling the beat in the ground. Feeling music is a very different experience to listening to it, and I sometimes like to feel it. But I have speakers I use in my room since I can't actually use headphones."

Do you have to play them really loud?

"No," Lucas replied, shaking his head. "Wearing a hearing aid raises my DB so I can hear. Without them, everything is as faint as...leaves rustling on trees. But when I have the hearing aid on, I can hear a lot easier, but not quite as easily as you can hear. So I keep my speakers on my desk or right next to me so I can hear them. I just need to keep my phone on vibrate so I can hear people calling for me."

That's so interesting. I never thought about that kind of stuff before, I signed. It's fascinating.

I'm glad you think so. Not many people do.

Can I feel the music again?

Lucas smiled as he played another Stevie Wonder song and placed on earbud on my wrist and one of his. He shifted closer to me and leaned his head back on the head of the couch. I rested my head next to his, and we both gazed up at each other. I could see how something like this would be considered romantic, and Lucas more than likely wanted something like this with his ex, so he must have enjoyed it as much as I did.

The front door opened, and I glanced up to spot Venus and Lindsey entering. They both stared at us incredulously before Venus glared. "Oh, hell no."