Zay

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

I sat in the parking lot of club Premier smoking a blunt to calm my nerves. I didn't know what it was or what this girl had done to me to have me feeling such a way behind her, but I was fucked up bout shorty.

It had nothing to do with sex because we hadn't crossed that line, I vibed with her mental. Anastasia got me Through conversation alone.

She had broken barriers that it took the average person years to tear from around my heart. So me seeing her walk up those stairs with Mike really pissed me off. Initially I went to follow them, but Bear pulled me back and told me to walk it off. She wasn't my girl and I had no right to flip out, but damn... You don't get a nigga back like that.

I was in the process of reclining my seat when I saw Anastasia rushing out of the club flustered. My first thought was to grab my pistol thinking Mike had done some shit, but I knew Josh would have cleared out the entire building.

Without thinking I jumped out of my truck and jogged up behind Anastasia.

"Tasia!" I yelled out causing her to look back then continue her stride. "Slow up," I called out. Anastasia huffed in frustration as she stopped and faced me.

"What Isaiah, what now?" She asked.

"Damn, just let me make sure you get to your ride safely." I stated not knowing what else to say. I wasn't expecting her to have an attitude so a nigga was a little thrown off.

"Fine!"

"You're leaving without your friend?" I asked buying time.

"She's leaving with Dee. Is that all?" Anastasia asked once we approached her car. She went to open the door and I pushed it closed. "Isaiah!" She groaned.

"I just wanna talk," I sighed. Anastasia chuckled lightly before crossing her arms over her chest.

"Talk."

"Can we at least sit inside the car? I'm not trying to be all in the open like this and shit."

"Afraid someone might see us and tell your little girlfriend?"

"Nah, I just don't like people in my mix. So can we get in or not?" Anastasia hit the unlock button on her key fob twice so that all the doors were unlocked. I walked over to the passenger side and slid in.

"What's on your mind? I really don't have all night." She spat once she took her seat and closed the door.

"Oh, but you had the time to run off with Mike?" I snapped back. I didn't mean for my tone to come off how it had, but fuck it. I was pissed.

"Is that what this is about? Because if so you can get out right now! I'm not with it, and my personal life is none of your business!"

I took my fitted off and ran my hand across my head. "Chill, my bad. I'm outta line and I apologize." I sighed

"So you ran up on me to judge me about something you have no idea about?" Anastasia asked with her nostrils flared like she was scaring something.

"I'm not judging ma, I just wanted to holla at you about some shit." Anastasia shot me a look that I'm gonna assume meant continue. "Look man, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I don't know what I'm thinking, feeling, or wanting. All I know is that for the first time in my life I now understand what people mean when they speak about getting butterflies at the sight of someone."

"Isa-"

"Just let me finish while I have the nerve, and then you can speak ma. I don't know what it is about you and I've tried, I swear to God I've tried to shake this shit, or even make sense of it but I can't. I can't tell you why I fall asleep and wake up with you on my mind. I can't tell you why when I'm with her all I'm doing is thinking of you and hoping that you're doing the same.

You probably think I'm the biggest fuck nigga right now, but I don't care. I want you Anastasia, and I know I ain't right. I can't stop though, and to be honest I don't care to."

Anastasia turned in her seat and slapped the shit out of me. The tears that were sitting on the brim of her eyes were now present on her cheeks.

"Why are you doing this?! Why?!" Anastasia yelled out. "You can't have us both! And I won't compete. I've done that! You watched me go through that Isaiah! So for you to come to me with this is some bullshit!"

"I understand, I jus-"

"NO YOU DON'T ISAIAH! YOU DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND! BECAUSE IF YOU DID YOU WOULD HAVE NEVER PUT ME IN THIS POSITION! I DON'T DESERVE THAT AND NEITHER DOES SHE! IF YOU WERE DONE WITH THAT SITUATION YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST BEEN DONE! YOU WENT BACK AND GOT HER PREGNANT. HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO BUILD WITH ME AND RAISE A BRAND NEW BABY WITH HER?" Anastasia yelled. I could hear every ounce of pain in her voice and it made me feel like shit.

"So... So what do you expect me to do ma? I'm coming to you like a man with my fucking heart on my sleeve! You think this shit is easy for me Anastasia? It's not! You're not the only one who has been through some bullshit! I loved that fucking girl, she's the only female I ever loved! So for you to come out of nowhere and strike up some shit in me I've never felt before... That's something worth exploring. I know you feel it too. And yes, my timing is all fucked up, but so what? Why can't we make it work?"

"I can't... I can't do this with you."

"Tas-"

"GET OUT OF MY CAR ISAIAH!" She yelled with a tear streaked face. I simply nodded and gave in to her request.

I stepped out of Anastasia's ride with my heart feeling heavy. I mean, it felt like a brick was weighing my shit down. I guess this was what a heartbreak felt like.

My throat was dry as a lump formed in my throat. Everything I wanted say was sitting on the tip of my tongue and I still couldn't find the words as I watched her pull off taking my heart with her.
                         *********
"Hey, how was the party?" Porsha asked groggily once she felt my side of the bed shift. I sighed heavily not even wanting to think about what happened tonight. "Isaiah?"

"Yeah," I asked staring up at the ceiling.

"You didn't hear me?" Porsha asked turning over on her side and cuddling up against me. She laid her head on my chest causing me to move her curly hair from my face.

"It was alright, the club is nice." I replied dryly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, go back to sleep." I sighed still not able to look at her.

How could I? How could I look who I thought was the love of my life in her face and tell her that I thought I was in love with someone else.

How would that make her feel? Would she leave? Would she stay anyway knowing that she only has a fraction of me? Those were all the questions that were running through my mind.

"Isaiah, what's the matter? Did something happen?" Porsha asked sitting up and turning on the lamp that sat on my nightstand. I shook my head. "Why are you crying?"

I rolled my eyes up in my head trying to stop the tears from falling. What to do? Do I break Porsha's heart, or do I stick it out for the sake of my family.

Family. That's something foreign to me. For so long I've longed for that security, to come home to my happiness and sanity waiting by the door. Then there was... Love.

Love. That feeling that makes you feel like you're flying. That stay up all night on the phone because neither of us wants to be the first to hang up. That tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine because we know they'll be safe... That shit Lenny Williams was crying about on his song.

Sighing heavily I wiped my face while Porsha looked at me with concern etched across her face. I pulled her close to me and just held her tight.

"I'm ready to get my shit together for our family," I sighed closing my eyes tightly.

Josh

My mom and I sat at Jason's bedside thanking God for sparing his life. Seeing my little brother damn near half dead did something to me. His entire body was black and blue.

The doctor told us that Jason was lucky someone had found him when they did. He took two bullets to his abdomen, his ribs, arm, and leg were broken... He was just all fucked up laying here looking like the mummy.

My blood boiled everytime I looked over and saw my mom's tears. Part of me felt responsible because as Jason's big brother, this was what I gave him to look forward to. Yeah, he did some dumb shit that placed me in a shitty situation, but at the end of the day this was my little brother. I didn't make him rob that store that day, but I was the reason he felt like he had no other options.

Amelia still wasn't fucking with me, which was a scary situation all in itself. I hadn't physically seen or touched her in almost three months. My mom and Anastasia played middleman when it was my week with Jace, and I got updated on the baby through text messages.

"What happened?!" A distraught Anastasia ran inside the room crying. I looked over and saw Amelia standing in the door.

My heart still skipped a beat at the sight of her. I knew then that it was time to cut the bullshit and get my act together. I explained to them everything the doctor told us before asking Amelia to step outside with me.

"How are you?" Amelia asked playing with her fingers. It pained me that she could barely look me in my face. I took my finger and lifted her chin zso that she was looking up at me.

"That's my question for you," I sighed. "You look good."

"Really, because lately I've been feeling like shit. This little girl is kicking my butt." She chuckled fighting off tears.

"I miss you ma. I can't function out here because I'm too busy worrying about you. I want... No, I need you to come back home Amelia. I feel so fucking empty without you baby."

"Joshua," Amelia sighed wiping her eyes. "I'm not putting up with this shit. Look at Jason in there. That could have easily been me or Jace, then what? Baby this life is not worth the bullshit that comes with it. I don't want to have to explain to my children that daddy's dead or in jail because he made the choice to chase after fast money instead of building something substantial that he could pass down in the family."

"I didn't take it," I sighed grabbing her hands.

"What?" Amelia asked looking confused.

"Jefe's position, I didn't take it. I told him I had a great run, but now it was time for me to bow out gracefully and do right by my family. Bear and Dee are running shit instead. I opened up a nightclub, upscale type shit too babe. You see, I love you too much to let you get away. If we go broke and have to live out of a cardboard box, I'm okay with that as long as I have you and my kids there with me." I told her honestly. Life wasn't worth shit without my happiness. While the money was good, it didn't mean shit when I didn't have anyone to share it with.

"Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"I wanted time to put everything together so when I did come back you guys would have my undivided attention. Come home baby, I'm ready." Amelia nodded as I pulled her in my embrace and rubbed all over her stomach. I was complete, but I had one more thing to handle.

Jason

I can't lie, after staring in the face of death a nigga was more appreciative of life now. I thought it was over for me, I thought that was the end... But God had other plans.

I swore on my life while thinking I was taking my last breath if God got me out of this shit I was definitely turning over a new leaf. Opening my eyes and seeing not only my mom and Josh, but Anastasia as well, was a blessing in itself. 

I had no idea what the streets were thinking but I made it clear to Josh that I didnt want anyone knowing I was alive. I was just discussing with Josh how I heard the nigga's that tried to off me mention Nigel's name.

"You surprised?" Josh asked looking over at me. I was now in private living quarters that Dominguez set up for my safety. I shifted in bed before sitting up a little.

"Hell yeah, I mean damn... That was my ace. He taught me most of the game, so for him to... I just can't believe this shit man." I sighed heavily. I was pissed. This was my sandbox nigga, I'm talking day one shit.

"Well since you know the nigga wants you dead, I guess now is a better time than any to tell you he's fucking your shorty." I frowned at Josh's words.

"Hell nah, Anastasia wouldn't do no shit like that. Whoever told you that is reaching."

"Not Anastasia, your BM nigga. That day you flipped out on me for going to ole girl's crib, I saw them with my own eyes. You may wanna hit up Dana when that baby arrives."

"FUCK!" I spat slapping the food tray from the nightstand beside me. "Why would you wait until now to tell me that shit? I copped this bitch a crib and the whole nine!"

"Would you have believed me had I told you then? I wasn't exactly your favorite person, and I never liked that nigga. I told you back then he wasn't to be trusted."

"We had our differences, but damn Josh. What if I would have married her ass or some shit? That's bogus as fuck!" I spat angrily.

"Well I guess that's makes us even." Josh shrugged. I wanted to tell him it didn't. I wanted to share the time I lost my temper on Amelia with him, but now wasn't the time.

Anastasia walked inside the room putting an end to our conversation.

"Hey, it's time for me to change your bandages." Tasia stated walking over and lifting my shirt.

"I'll be in the hall," Josh stated getting up to leave.

Anastasia continued pulling off my old bandages and cleaning my wounds. She then placed the new bandages and taped them down.

"How are you feeling?" Anastasia asked standing over me. I shrugged.

"I guess I'm good, especially seeing your face." Anastasia sighed and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm only here to help you out Jay. Nothing more, nothing less."

"I know that. Can I just express my appreciation to you? I know you don't have to be here, but I'm happy that you are."

"You're welcome," Anastasia sighed standing up. I pulled her arm lightly.

"I'm sorry Tasia. For all the bullshit and drama I put you through. You being here says a lot when you should have been the last person at my side. I appreciate that shit."

"You were my friend first Jason. I would never want to see anything happen to you regardless of what we've been through. You know me, and you know I'm not a bitter bitch so me being here was a given. Do not get it confused though, this is definitely not reconciliation or anything, but I'm here as long as you need me."

"And what about when I want you?"

"You should have wanted me when you had me, that's not an option. I'll be here when you need me." Tasia sighed patting my shoulder and getting up to leave.

"Damn," I said lowly as I watched Anastasia walk out the door. She really wasn't fucking with the kid.

Right now I had more pressing issues to tend to, starting with Kayla and Nigel's grimey asses.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net