Ch. 17 I Promised

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Sage never brings Zach home. Zach never asks. They're in the park and the sun paints patterns on their skin. The wooden benches are old and withered but steady as they sit. Zach closes his eyes, part to block the sun, and part because he's too tired.

"I wish this could be forever," he whispers.

Sage laces his fingers with Zach's, resting them lightly against the back of Zach's hand. They both know this can't last forever. They have to hide. Their relationship is worth too much in the hands of others. Only in school...only in school do they have something to fall back on. Once they graduate, enter society, that's where their relationship will have to end.

Sage had pressed a finger to Zach's lips. "Promise me you'll keep us a secret," he had said. Us.

Zach had not replied but agreed. There was too much to lose.

It's not that he had never thought about it. Just saying it out loud. Just telling the world to fuck off. Zach didn't matter in his family already. Most of the inheritance would belong to his brother anyways. But Sage would never agree.

Sage was something different. He had a future ahead of him and a family that expected him to be perfect.

Some people might ask, why don't they just leave? Escape somewhere far, where it's only the two of them, where people don't know who they are and won't gossip, won't expect anything from them. They'll get a job, they'll work their way up, they might even start a family together.

But that's the thing with children, isn't it? You could be the worst parent in the world and your child will still scan your face to find that sliver of approval. They will forgive you again and again because they are sure they might be able to make you change.

Zach falls asleep on Sage's shoulder as the wind blows past. The leaves rustle in despair.

Jason corners Zach in a corridor that one afternoon. "You need to tell me what's going on." The bell has rung. They're going to be late for practice.

Zach turns, trying to leave, but Jason slams his fist against the stone wall, arm blocking Zach's path. "Not until you tell me," Jason demands.

Zach shakes his head, not meeting Jason's eyes. "Nothing is wrong," he mutters. Jason can tell he is lying.

But what else is Zach to say? He knows Jason loves him like a brother. He also knows Jason can be cruel.

When in middle school, one of the kids in their class laughed at Zach, because he didn't have a mother anymore. Zach must have provoked the child. They were calling each other names. He doesn't know if the kid meant it or if that was the meanest thing he could think of. But he remembers how Jason, forever being one of the most popular, led everyone else to ignore him. Whenever someone tried to approach that kid, Jason would take the friend away. After all, who doesn't like to be valued by the popular one?

That kid who shamed Zach transferred a semester later.

Zach stares at Jason's eyes. Green, speckled with gold. He doesn't want to lie to Jason's face but he can't break his promise to Sage. Not again. He breaks the gaze. "I-I can't tell you right now..."

Jason visibly recoils. His fingers leave the walls, and he takes a step back as if he's been pushed. "I just want," he takes a deep breath. His arms drop to his sides. "I just want to take care of you. I promised your mother."

Zach can't find what to say.

But that's not enough to deter Jason. He has a gut feeling. It is that boy–Sage. It must be him. Only after Sage appeared did Zach start acting so strange. There is sadness in Zach's eyes and days when Zach comes to school with red lining his cheeks, and others when he stares out the window in a trance. But also days when Zach seems happy, Jason thinks. But ultimately something seems out of place.

So when practice ends and they throw their things in the lockers, and when Zach says he needs to stay behind a little bit, Jason asks, "Oh what for?"

Zach says, "Just some student council stuff I have to figure out with Sage."

Sage that bastard again, Jason thinks. Instead, he says, "Alright I'll see you tomorrow then!" He waves goodbye and walks down the hall, his bag slung over his shoulder.

But he does not leave. He sneaks up another stairwell and waits. His breath seems to freeze in his lungs with the silence.

The clocks ticks slowly. The leaves outside shudder.

Sage enters the room with Zach, and Jason sneaks down the stairs. He peeks into the room and sees it. Sage pushes Zach onto the wooden desks. The chairs screech as Zach is knocked onto it. Sage leans over, and they kiss.

Jason hides behind the door, his heart beating hard. He feels betrayed. Not because Zach was gay, but because he didn't trust Jason enough to tell him.

He feels something pop inside him. Did Zach not trust Jason like he did? He had thought himself to be Zach's shield, to be the first person he would run to if he ever needed anything. And Jason would do his damn best to do it. Was that all his imagination?

Then he remembers Sage, that smirk on his face, that arm wrapped around Zach's shoulder as if trying to prevent him from leaving. The smile never revealed any joy.

Jason raises his phone to the bottom of the window. From this angle, he can get Sage's face. Only Sage's face. But at this time the sun is starting to set, and Jason sees the flash of his phone at the same time Sage does.

Fuck. Jason books it down the stairs, just out of sight as he hears the door slam open.

Sage will run right after him, but he will not catch Jason before he is gone. neither will Zach because even though Zach is captain, Jason is the fastest player on the basketball team. 


A/N

Hey, guys long time no see. Getting back to writing this book took so long and I'm so sorry about it. I've been fearing writing for a while because nothing I write felt good enough. But then I did Nanowrimo last month and somehow I found a little bit of my courage back. I hope I'll be able to post more in the coming weeks. See you :D

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