6 men carried the coffin solemnly into the small church in Stars Hollow. Luke and Mitchum Huntzberger led, with Jess, Tristin, Finn and Colin behind them. Rory stood at the front of the church, with Lorelai hugging her and Alex standing with her eyes dead ahead of her. Liv shook as she listened to the steps getting louder. As the men set the coffin down, they joined the rest of the mourners, yet Jess joined his mom and his baby on the other side of the church from Liv.

Jess carried Ava and Liv into the house, Liv drunkly stumbling while clutching onto his shoulder. He settled Liv on the sofa while he put Ava in her cot, and then sat by Liv.

"Jess, baby, I'm so sorry," Liv whispered.

"I don't wanna hear it," Jess said.

"No, please, listen," Liv started.

"No Liv! I don't wanna hear it! You put our baby in danger! How could you do that?" Jess shouted.

"I just couldn't handle it anymore! You were working all day, sleeping through the night, and I was up with her all day and night. And I love her, I really do, because she's a piece of me and you and we're so lucky to have her, but I couldn't do it anymore, I needed a break, because she cries all the time. And you aren't helping me at all. And drink is the only way I've coped," she admitted, tears streaming down her face.

"Was today the first time you drank while looking after her?" Jess asked.

"Yes," she said, "but when my mum has taken her for a few hours I have. Before you say anything I don't have a problem. I'm not addicted. I can live without it, I choose to drink it."

"Well that makes me feel so much better," Jess laughed bitterly.

They sat in silence, until Liv began to cry more.

"If you're trying to make me feel sorry for you it won't work."

"No, Jess. Logan's dead. I don't care about what is happening with us right now. My brother-in-law just died. I need to see Rory," she insisted, but fell back on the sofa as she stood up.

"Why don't you call her?" Jess suggested.

"Jess, they wanted to have a baby together. They wanted what we have and now they can't have it," Liv said, almost hysterically.

"Liv, they were happy. Look, you need to sleep. There's no way you're getting up the stairs, so I'll get you some pillows and blankets," Jess said.

A few moments later, he returned, and made her more comfortable. When she was drifting off, he sighed and buried his face in his hands before going up to sleep in his empty bed.

Liv stood listening to the service thinking about that night. They hadn't spoken since, apart from when he told her he and Ava were going to live with Liz and TJ for a while. Since then, Liv had been with Rory the whole time. She had to be there for her sister, regardless of what was going on in her own life.

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the life of Logan Huntzberger," the reverend began, "a husband, a son, a brother, a father," everyone's mind drifted to Alex, "a friend. A soul taken too soon. First, a poem, read by his wife, Rory."

Liv squeezed Rory's hand, before she shakily walked up to the podium, unfolding a piece of paper.

"I wrote this myself," she said, quietly.

"My love,
Every day you would whistle
While getting ready for work.
Now the house is silent.

Every day you'd hug me tight
When I moaned I was cold.
Now I shiver
Without your arms around me.

That morning, you were here
Like normal, here with me.
We didn't expect any of it,
And now you're gone.

Your eyes were full of light,
And now they're empty and closed.
Your presence was clear and soothing
And now the world is wrong.

My love,
Your love was the most important thing
That kept us all together
And now your love is gone
And we are all apart.

Now you're somewhere better
But not with us
Somewhere without pain and bitterness
Where I now long to be."

Rory was sobbing by the end, all of the syllables and sounds merged into one. Everyone bowed their heads and wiped their eyes as she sat back down, stifling her sobs. The reverend then returned announcing, "now some words from Logan's father, Mitchum."

Liv quietly scoffed. Father? Yeah, right.

Mitchum stood tall at the front of the church, clearing his throat, "when our Logan was a young boy, he had so much potential. Intelligent, handsome, witty. It breaks our heart that that potential was wasted. Taken from him and us and the rest of the world. As a strong, tight knit family, we can't come to terms with the fact that our boy isn't with us anymore. He had his whole life ahead of him. Granted, he made some mistakes," everyone saw his eyes drift to Rory, "but he would have changed and improved a lot of things in this world. Goodbye, my son. We miss you."

Mitchum sat back down, as the organ started up again, and the congregation stood up, heads bowed. Mitchum's words replayed in Rory's head, notably "mistake". Was she a mistake? Would he have been better off without him?

——————————————————

The wake dragged on. It was long and lavish and pointless. Most people got drunk. Other sat there bored. Liv was sat in the toilet nervously.

She had been walking out of the church, when she began to get familiar stomach pains. She tried not to keel over, but Rory saw her in pain.

"Liv what's wrong?" Rory asked.

Liv pulled her aside, "it's my stomach...it feels like when I had my miscarriage."

"What? But you're not pregnant!" Rory said, confused.

"I know that! But that's what it feels like...I'll be fine," Liv waved her off, standing up straight through the pain.

As soon as she had gotten to where the wake was held, she locked herself in the toilet. It had been 2 months since her last period, and she hadn't noticed...she'd been getting hardly any sleep...all of the alcohol consumed...if she was right, this wouldn't be like the last time, with Ava's twin, no. This one was on her.

"Liv, we need to get you to hospital," Rory said. She'd followed her to the toilet, despite needing to greet the people attending the wake, and was leaning on the toilet door.

"No, you need to be here," Liv sniffled.

"I don't want to be here. I don't want to be surrounded by people who think they knew him. Think they loved him. I knew him more than anyone. Loved him more than anyone. I'm taking you to the hospital," Rory insisted.

Liv unlocked the door after a few minutes, "let's go."

——————————————————

That evening, Rory dropped Liv off, and she walked up their path. Just the front light was on, meaning Jess was home. She walked in and looked through the door. Jess hadn't noticed her. He was holding Ava and humming slightly. She was about to make her presence known, Jess began talking quietly.

"Me and mommy love you so much, sweetheart. We're just going through a rough patch. Soon enough we'll make up and we'll be a happy family again. Maybe you'll even get a new brother or sister," Liv's smile faltered and she walked in the kitchen. Hesitantly she grabbed a glass, and started searching the cupboards. She grew frustrated. There was nothing. Jess cleared his throat and she jumped.

"I didn't hear you come in," he said.

"I was quiet."

"Where did you go? With Rory? You disappeared during the wake."

"To the hospital. Where's my drink?" Liv asked.

"Down the sink," Jess shrugged, "why did you go to the hospital? Did she find you passed out drunk or something?"

"Is that what you think of me?"

"Give me a reason to think otherwise," he shrugged. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Because I had another miscarriage," Liv said, her voice faltering.

Jess' body relaxed and he walked over to her, hugging her tightly.

"No! Don't hug me, it's all my fault. I drank and drank and drank, I killed it, Jess. I killed our baby. Don't give me sympathy. I don't deserve it," she protested, pushing him away.

"Did you know you were pregnant?"

"No."

"If you did, would you have drank?"

"Of course not."

"It was an accident. And it's my fault for not being there for you. I was selfish. I couldn't see that you were struggling. Things are going to change around here. I'm going to be the best dad and husband I can be, okay? And we can try again for a baby, but after we rebuild our family and our lives," Jess promised her, embracing her again. This time her body melted into his, as she began sobbing.

Sobbing for herself.

For her problem.

For Logan and Rory.

For the babies she lost.

For the one she managed to keep.

For her old life.

I'm backkk!! This chapter has taken months to write, no joke. I don't even know if anyone's still interested, but I'm hoping to start up again. Watch out for a new story, you fans of Heroes! (UPDATE: Go and check out my new story, Forbidden Heroes. Even if you haven't watched Heroes, it makes sense.) Also, this may be the epilogue but this story is not done. I have so many plans for Liv and Jess and Rory and Ava, keep reading!

To those of you who are new readers, hey! Thanks for your support. And for those who have been here since day 1, thank you for your continued support.

Watch this space!

Xoxo