Coping

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Jess sat with his leg elevated on the arm of the sofa, watching the telly.

Liv walked in and smiled at him, "do you need anything?"

"I need a lot of things. Good tv for one," he grumbled.

Liv sighed and folded her arms. He'd been home for a week and he'd been in the same mood since he'd got back. They were staying back at Lorelai and Luke's, and sleeping in Rory and Liv's old room as it was easier than having to lug Jess up the stairs in the diner.

"Ok, babe," she said, simply, walking off.

"Liv, wait," he said, "get me a glass of water?"

She turned and smiled, annoyed, "Sure thing."

When she brought it in, he grabbed her hand, "Are you ok?"

"Peachy," she shrugged, "you?"

"Same. I'm sorry I'm being such an ass to you. I just hate being stuck like this, in so much pain all the time," he sighed.

"I know," she sighed, kneeling down by where he was lay. She ran her hand through his hair, "but please don't take it out on me, ok?"

He smiled and grabbed her hand, "okay."

"I'm going to go to the bathroom. Don't move while I'm gone," she said.

"Too painful."

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door, turning the taps on. She put the lid on the toilet seat down and sat on it, putting her hands between her knees. She closed her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks, and hopelessly willed herself to stop, "pull yourself together, Olivia," she whispered. Subconsciously, her hand went to her stomach, where she knew only one baby lay instead of two.

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Luke was pouring cups of coffee, with his wife wittering on in his ears while rocking the babies' pushchair, when his stepdaughter walked in.

Liv's hair was pulled back in a loose French plait, and she looked tired more than anything, "hey, mom, Luke."

"Hey, honey. How's Jess?" Lorelai asked.

"He's Jess," she smiled, hollowly, "Luke, I wanted to say thank you for everything you've done. Taking me to the hospital, getting the nurse, being there for me at the hospital, bringing us back: everything."

He walked round the counter and hugged her, "anything."

She pulled back and smiled, "thank you."

Lorelai stood up, "how about we have a girls' night on Saturday? Me, you and Rory, like old times. Luke, you can go round to the house and stay there with Jess and the twins and we'll stay here. I think it's what everyone needs at the moment."

"That's fine with me," Luke nodded.

Liv smiled, "Yeah, sounds great. I'll call you later," she hugged her mom, before leaving.

Lorelai sat back down and sighed, "poor girl. She's hurting so bad right now."

"I know. She'll get through it; she's like her mom," Luke said.

"Lucky girl."

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Rory sat on her and Logan's couch in their apartment in New York, curling into his side, "I'm gonna go to Stars Hollow Saturday. We're having a girls' night."

"That's fine," Logan said.

"Liv's really down at the minute," Rory told him.

"Of course she is. She lost her baby," Logan nodded.

"I'm going to say something really bad and even potentially mean," Rory sat up, and said this slowly, "but I'm so sad. Because I want a baby so bad, and she feels the opposite way.However, she not only gets one, she gets two. Two! And she loses one of them. And I don't know, I obviously feel sad for her, but sad for me too. And that's selfish, because I didn't have a miscarriage, I didn't have a baby taken away from me, she did and she's the one hurting, but I feel so...sad!"

"I know, I get it. Your sister is in pain for having something you wanted and she didn't taken away from her. It's not mean; it's understandable. No one is going to judge you for feeling like that," Logan kissed her forehead.

Rory sighed, "I need to be there for her."

"You will be," Logan told her.

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Liv and Jess were lay in bed, talking about random things, when Liv sat up and looked at him, biting her bottom lip, "Can we talk?"

"We are," Jess said.

"No, I need to say something," she sat cross legged, "I get you're in pain, and I want to do anything to stop that. But...I am too. I lost our baby, Jess. I feel pain, and regret, and guilt, and upset. Since I told you, we haven't spoken about it, and I think that's because you haven't accepted it yet. Well, you need to. Eventually, I mean, because if I were to tell you to just accept it that would be so hypocritical because I haven't either. Not yet," she inhaled deeply, "but you need to tell me what you think. We need to talk about it."

Jess licked his lips, "I feel...all the things you do. For different reasons, but I feel them all, too. I'm sorry if I've been making you feel worse, that wasn't what I wanted to do."

"I know, I know, I know. But we need to be open about this, and I know you're not exactly the most open person..."

"What do you mean? I'm practically a book," Jess smirked.

"Yeah, a book that has the words "sarcasm", "angry" and "keep out" written all over it," she teased.

"Well you read "coffee", "chocolate" and "ice cream" so at least mine doesn't contribute to heart failure or obesity," Jess raised an eyebrow.

Liv opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again, coming up blank, "okay, Luke," she smiled, "but I mean it, ok? We need to talk about what happened. And by the way, Luke is coming tomorrow and bringing the twins 'cause me, mom and Ror are having a girls' night."

"What? Why's Luke coming here?" Jess sighed.

"He wants to spend quality time with his nephew/step son in law. If that's a thing. And the twins want to spend time with their cousin/brother in law. This is complicated," Liv laughed.

"I guess it will be nice," Jess sighed, "we have stolen their house, after all."

"We have," Liv nodded, "I'm getting tired now," she yawned, resting her head back on his chest.

He raised a hand, stroking her hair gently, "You should sleep."

"I'm trying to but my annoying husband won't shut up so his pregnant wife can't sleep," she grumbled.

"I'll let him know to shut up if I see him," he teased.

"Good," Liv mumbled, becoming drowsier.

They settled into silence, before Liv gasped, "oh my good Lord!" She sat up.

"What?" Jess asked, alarmed, "Are you ok?"

"I just remembered!"

"What? Liv, honey, you're worrying me now," Jess asked, slowly sitting up.

"Tomorrow's One Tree Hill day!" Liv grinned.

"Excuse me?" Jess raised a brow, amused but annoyed.

"You know, they show all of the episodes so far in this season," she looked at him as if it was obvious.

Jess rolled his eyes and lay back down, "and I thought it was important."

Liv gasped with what appeared to be mock hurt, but without the 'mock', "I have been waiting for this for so long! It is important!"

"Ok, babe," Jess sighed, "just think, if you sleep now, it'll come quicker," he said, as if he were talking to a child on Christmas Eve.

"Right," she smiled, lying down.

They settled back into silence again.

"Babe, I can't sleep."

Jess rolled his eyes.

Sorry it's been so long! I had writers block; this took ages to write. I've just finished season 3 of OTH and have been watching Gilmore Girls all day, courtesy of 1) the update and 2) the OTH reference at the end! Promise to update more often xoxo

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