Jisung:
I love my job

Seungmin:
Omg I'm so overwhelmed and surprised to know that!
Jisung likes watching girls in bikinis?
Ohmygod that's some brand new piece of breaking news!

Jeongin:
That was too sarcastic mdhdhjdjdj

Hyunjin:
I'm dYING GSGEJJSJS
SOMEONE GIVE ME AIR PLS
AHH MY LUNGS
IM ACTUALLY DYING OMG
IM GONNA HMSHSHSJUS
WHY AM I COUGHING

Me:
.....
Hyunjin, sweetie are you okay?

Minho:
Thank me for the job idea, Jisung

Felix:
That's so rude Minho
Hyunjin might actually be combusting
Hyunjin are you okay?????

Changbin:
Is he looking at Park Jinyoung?
Why is he coughing lol

Hyunjin:
I might be low-key dying

Me:
...what is low-key dying

Jisung:
You don't know?
Like when you're about to sneeze and the sneeze gets stuck inside you and you're making weird faces
But you won't sneeze
So that's a life or death situation

Felix:
Oh and when you accidentally inhale water

Jeongin:
InHaLe wAtEr
Wtf

Changbin:
Where's the lie tho?
Like you're drinking water and you laugh and the nose sucks the water in and suddenly there's water in your lungs

Jisung:
Yeah might as well grow seaweed in there

Seungmin:
I might not be THAT good at science but this ain't it

Minho:
Okay but Hyunjin?
Tf is wrong w you?

Hyunjin:
I just searched up why I'm coughing
And Google showed me that I have cancer

Minho:
Yes because Google is a certified doctor

Hyunjin:
Whatever
I'm gonna get tested for jaundice tonight

Jeongin:
What
The
Frick

Felix:
I'll pray for you honey T_T

Jisung:
Be fine dude 

---

Next day

Hyunjin:
GUYS YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS

Seungmin:
I don't believe anything you say anyway
That's not new

Hyunjin:
༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

Jisung:
Did you get the reports for your illness?

Hyunjin:
Yes
Omg
OMG
YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS

Me:
What is it?

Hyunjin:
I HAVE CORONA

Changbin:
.....
Dude you okay?

Felix:
:(((

Hyunjin:
OMG WOW

Jeongin:
Why tf are you happy?

Hyunjin:
I'll be isolated
And I'll have to stay at home the entire day
So that's a win-win situation!!!

Jisung:
....why are you becoming introverted like me bruh

Me:
Hyunjin I'm concerned for you

Hyunjin:
I'm good bro
OMG IM COUGHING
IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE I'M GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA DIE

Jisung:
Spot the odd one out in that paragraph

Seungmin:
Ah shit where are my spectacles when I need them?

Felix:
Y'all are so rude :(

Hyunjin:
NO HOUSEHOLD CHORES AYE IM LIVING MY BEST LIFE

Me:
Why are you like this (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)

(a/n: lmao my depression is acting up again and my medicines ain't working. had to squeeze this chapter outta myself because not writing anything was driving me crazy. I hope you liked it because, trust me, I worked REALLY hard to write this down)