He slept with his lips parted and hair sprawled down, covering his eyes. He had his right arm around one of my pillows that was now wet due to his hair that still hadn't dried from his shower. He seemed at peace, which seemed odd considering what had taken place today, but I envied it and wished I could sleep as well just to rid myself of the worry I had. The worry for what could happen to me for giving a murderer a place to stay, but more importantly worry for the man that saved my life. 

I hadn't realized that I had been watching him sleep until about 10 minutes in when he began to talk in his dreams. 

"No, No," he whispered, now squeezing my pillow tightly in his red fists. 

"No!" I jumped as he screamed the word, and my first instinct was to wake him up to get him out of his obvious nightmare. 

"J, wake up!" I yelled while shaking his shoulders, but came to regret this real quick as his hand collided with my left cheek. I stood back, stunned. 

J's eyes were now open, and they held fear; fear for whatever monster had just haunted him in his dreams. 

"Where am I?" he asked, his voice shaky and skin damp with sweat. 

I stood silent with my hand on my now red cheek, and watched as realization hit him hard as the dream finally rid itself from his head. He stood to his feet in a matter of seconds and grabbed my hand to remove it from my cheek, and I flinched as he touched the still stinging skin.

"I thought you were-" he started, his voice cracking. 

"It's okay, you were having a nightmare." I told him in an effort to comfort him. He didn't mean to hit me, I could tell by the look in his deep eyes that were full of sadness.

"I'm so sorry." he cupped my cheek and ran his thumb over the skin ever so gently. My stomach fluttered at the gesture until a few seconds later when he moved his hand away all too quickly and looked down after realizing what he was doing. 

"Hey," I said, grabbing his hand after noticing that it was shaking. "That wasn't you." 

He tore his hand away from my grasp and sat on the edge of my bed before putting his head in his hands. 

"I need to go." He told me after lifting his head up a few moments of silence later. "Thank you for what you're trying to do for me, seriously, but I'm too fucked up to be around someone like you." 

"What do you mean someone like me?" I asked, trying not to sound as offended as I actually was. 

He made eye contact with me for a split second before looking back to the floor again. Why did he always avoid looking at me? 

"You're too," he stopped to gather his thoughts, visibly contemplating what he was going to say. "You're too good. Someone like me will fuck up your life, I promise you. Especially in this situation. You'll end up arrested along with me if this ends badly do you realize that?"

I took a moment to gather what he had just told me. My brain was screaming at me to let him leave and to get on with my life, but my gut told me to let him stay and to help him. For after all, he helped me. 

"I'm not a charity case." He spat and stood up. "Just give me my clothes and I'll be gone."

"I don't think of you as a charity case, I just want to figure out a plan or something to get you housing somewhere away from downtown."  I said in hopes that he would sit down again, for if he actually wanted to leave I physically could not stop him. 

He huffed and ran a hand through his still damp hair, and to my surprise he sat down again. 

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked, leaving me surprised. 

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. What the actual hell is wrong with you? I smashed a mans skull in right in front of you, then on top of that I hit you. Yet you're still trying to help me." His eyes finally met mine, except this time I was the one looking away. 

"You don't think I'm scared as hell right now?" I asked, growing angry yet at the same time brave. Brave enough to speak up to the mysterious boy that has literally changed my life more than he will ever know.

 "I have never been as scared in my life as I was when that guy had his hands on me. I thought I was going to die or get raped..both even." my voice cracked and I ignored the embarrassment I felt for starting to cry in front of J. I just couldn't help it, the flashbacks of what happened made it feel like it was happening all over again. 

"Believe it or not when you did what you did to him I wasn't scared," I stopped to wipe an unwanted tear with the heel of my hand from my cheek before continuing: "I was relieved."

J bit the insides of his cheeks and swallowed a forming lump in his throat. He felt emotions too, I know he did. He just for whatever reason wanted to hide that side of him from the world.

 The world that he was undoubtedly too good for, even If he didn't believe it himself.

"And the hitting, that wasn't you." I said, finally allowing my tears to fall after holding it back for hours. 

It was odd how easily I could open up to the man I've only known for such a little amount of time. I couldn't even open up like this or even cry in front of my own parents. They would just scold me and tell me to stop, for it showed weakness. However weakness to me was just strength in disguise, and J was proof of that. Maybe that's why I feel so comfortable around him despite what has happened?

"Come sit." He finally said after we stood in each others silence for a minute or two. Oddly enough though, It was a comfortable silence.

J's POV

We sat on the edge of her bed and talked for hours. It was literally the first time I've talked to someone for that long due to me always being alone. It was nice, especially because she's easy to talk to. Also because she already broke the ice by crying in front of me, which oddly triggered something in me that I didn't know existed. 

She told me a lot about her parents that seemed honest to god horrible, which didn't make me feel any better about being in their home without their knowing. She also told me about plans after graduation for a moment but stopped before finishing, probably in an attempt to spare my feelings about obviously not having a life like that. I didn't care though, for college was the least of my worries. 

I started the entire conversation by telling her about my days at the orphanage in an attempt to distract her from her crying. I was just going to bullshit something to say at first, but after forcing myself to look into her eyes I grew somewhat trustworthy and began to say exactly what I was thinking. And I mean, why the hell not? It's not like I would see her again in a week or two when I'm long gone in some homeless shelter. 

That conversation though led to hours and hours of talking. The words I kept replaying for years inside my own head under that bridge finally got the chance to be let out, and honestly, it felt good as hell. 

I told her about running away from the orphanage and how I walked barefoot on gravel all night until I found a small town. I told her I would beg on street corners for food or money, but gave that up only after a few days and switched to stealing. Saying the words out loud made me feel shitty, but It's who I was.

She didn't seem to judge me like I had thought she would, she only nodded and forced a smile on the corners of her full lips before telling me to go on. I wasn't an open book by any means, hell, It would take a sledge hammer for someone to actually make me talk to them about this shit, but she somehow made it easy. Also there was a dark part of me still lurking inside of my head and in my dreams, a voice that talks to me constantly and has been following me since the orphanage. 

A voice that's been telling me that I needed to kill myself, over and over. And truth be told, I had planned to finally give into the voice the same night I got beat the shit out of for what seemed like the hundredth time. I planned to go to the top of that damned bridge that I hated so much and jump off onto the hard concrete that would finally relieve me of this life that I've been punished with. 

I did plan to do it, all until this stupid naive girl came into my dark world and almost got herself killed because she believed that there was somehow good in all people. I laughed at the thought as I pictured some of the worst people I've ever met, for good in people was hard to come by. There was mostly evil, from what I've seen at least. 

Jessa though, she's good, pure. Way too pure of a person to be around someone like me. 

She has a future. College, marriage, a nice home, kids. I wanted to leave so she could get that without any interruptions, but each time I suggested it she would start to tear up and each time I see her caramel eyes well up in tears I find myself from my hand to her door knob to being fucking glued to her side within a few seconds.

After hitting her the way I did in my sleep, I literally wanted to go downstairs and find the sharpest knife so I could chop my hands off just to prevent myself from ever doing that to her again. Now I have a sudden need to keep her safe from anything and everything that could harm her, and after what I did, that includes myself. 

I couldn't get too close, no matter how badly I wanted to.  

Jessa's POV

"My mom will be home soon, so I'm thinking you can hide in my closet if she ever knocks. She never just barges in, thank god. Plus my door has a lock so I'll just keep it locked all night." I told J, trying to mask the nervousness in my voice from the thought of my mother coming home. 

He simply nodded before speaking: "I'll sleep on the floor."

"You don't have to, I can sleep on the f-" 

"Jessa, it's fine. This carpet is actually a hundred times better than that fucking concrete." He interrupted and sat on the floor. I simply nodded and gave him a few extra pillows that I had along with two thick blankets that I kept in my closet. I smiled at the sight of pizza sauce that was still in the corner of his lips from the pizza rolls I made us earlier. He ate the entire box along with two cans of Dr. Pepper, and after that he burped louder than I've ever heard someone burp in my life, which made me laugh until tears pricked at my eyes. He laughed too, which was one of the first times I think I've seen him genuinely happy.

We then sat in my room to wait for my mothers arrival home, killing the time by watching Game of Thrones on my TV. J loved it so much he wouldn't even say a single word for the full episode, and when one was over he told me to start the next. I smiled and rolled my eyes before handing him the remote. At least I found something that would keep him from trying to freakin leave.

30 seconds into the next episode, I heard the front door open and close from downstairs. I swallowed fear I had of my mother possibly finding out about J and got up off of my bed to go downstairs before she had the chance to come up. "I'll be right back. My parents room is downstairs so they shouldn't be coming up here." 

J nodded in reply, visibly a little nervous, but distracted enough by the episode to keep himself calm. I could tell he was trying to act tough, but that didn't fool me one bit.

I then went downstairs and talked to my mom like any normal day. She complained about her coworkers to me like usual while heating up left overs as I nodded, pretending to pay attention.

 She then told me my dad wouldn't be home that night, which wasn't surprising in the slightest. I could tell by her voice she was upset, however I know she's grown used to it. A small part of me knows that their marriage is breaking little by little, but I refused to think about it in hopes that maybe they'll survive. 

After talking for a bit while watching her eat her dinner we finally told each other our Goodnights and I love you's before separating to our bedrooms for the night. I found myself growing excited as I neared my bedroom door, finding myself oddly missing the man I've just met after just being apart for 30 minutes.

Finally as I opened the door the first thing I saw was J passed out on the floor covered in blankets with the remote in hand and pizza sauce still on his mouth. I held my hand over my mouth and laughed at the sight before walking closer to him to take the remote from his hand. He didn't flinch, for he was too exhausted to even move. I couldn't imagine not getting a good nights sleep for literally years, it made me want to wake him up just to have him move to my bed, for he really needed it more than me. However, I know he would just refuse. 

I then locked my door and turned the TV off before carefully stepping over J and lying In my bed. I laid on my back for the next hour, staring at the spinning ceiling fan while going over in my head what I was going to do for J. 

What homeless shelters are around here besides mine that's all booked up? I thought to myself.

Is there one nearby so I could visit him from time to time?  I hope so..

I ran my hands down my face, growing more and more stressed out by the minute. I just needed sleep, especially after a long ass day like this. 

I turned over on my side towards J and felt myself calming down as I listened to his soft breaths and light snores. I fell asleep while wondering what he was dreaming about, and by doing so, all my dreams were about him. 

AUTHORS NOTE

Hi everyone!! I'm so sorry for the VERY late update, I've just started college and its been hard mixing that along with work and on top of that Wattpad. BUT I really wanna make time for this story because I truly love it. Hope ya'll enjoyed this chapter! Next one coming soon. (;

-Bailey