"Bet you loved that, didn't you, Potter? Famous Harry Potter. Can't even go into a bookshop without making the front page."

Oh, for crying out loud! Trust Draco Malfoy to ruin this special moment. I tore my eyes away from the dazzling Gilderoy Lockhart to see what kind of trouble Harry had gotten himself into this time.

But Ginny had beaten me to it, and I watched as she jumped in front of Harry like a cute little guard dog, barking up in Draco's amused face.

"Look, Potter." He drawled gleefully. "You've got yourself a girlfriend!"

I mean, from what Ginny has been whispering in my ear at night time, that's exactly what she's hoping for. Nice to see that Draco Malfoy has donned his captain's hat and has declared the ship sailed.

Just then a large version of Draco appeared out of nowhere. I was mesmerised. He had long blonde silvery hair, wore grand robes cut from the finest looking cloth and carried with him a cane which he used to touch up Harry with.

I barely listened to a word he said, instead entranced by the smooth silkiness of his hypnotising voice.

I only seemed to come to when Harry started loudly spouting out Voldemort's name in the same casualness one might talk about Santa Claus.

"You must be very brave, Mr Potter," this older version of Draco said, "to dare speak his name. Or foolish."

I couldn't help myself. "Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself." I internally cringed at the pomposity of my voice.

Damn that Dumbledore and his catchy sayings.

The man's eyes slid towards me and I looked defiantly back into them, shocked at how much they resembled Draco's, whose own eyes I could feel piercing into my back.

"You must be Miss Granger. Draco's told me all about you... and your parents." He motioned over to where my parents were stood chatting to Ron's excited dad. "Muggles, aren't they?"

I didn't answer him. Instead, I craned my neck and glanced curiously at Draco, wondering exactly what he'd been saying about me. I don't know if it was just the poor set lighting, but I'm sure his face coloured slightly.

Then some sort of fight between the grown ups broke out and this whole awkward situation came to a violent - but not unwelcome - end.

Barbaric, the lot of them.

*****

Harry and Ron really are gormless idiots.

They crashed a Knutless man's car into a tree and then acted surprised when they received a Howler the following morning.

When Mrs Weasley's voice finally stopped shouting, leaving a ringing silence instead, I slowly closed my copy of Voyages with Vampires and looked down at the top of Ron's head.

"Well, I don't know what you expected, Ron," I said, clicking my tongue disapprovingly, "but you-"

"Don't tell me I deserved it." Ron snapped, just like his wand had.

I did, albeit in my head.

*****

"Why," Ron demanded, seizing my timetable, "have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?"

I snatched the timetable back, my face suddenly fiercely hot.

Ron could scoff all he liked, but I'm the one who scored top marks in Professor Lockhart's All About Me quiz.

"You're just jealous!" I snapped at him when he wouldn't shut up about how I knew that Lockhart's secret ambition was to rid the world of evil and market his own range of hair-care potions. "Just because you have no aspirations."

"No aspirations?" Ron bellowed as he shoved a piece of toast in his mouth. "I sacrificed myself in a chess game only last year so that you lot could all have futures! And where's my bloody thanks?!"

"Oh, don't be so dramatic, Ronald," I sniffed. "It was just a little knock. You were fine."

We took our seats in the stands overlooking the Quidditch pitch, waiting to watch Harry in his practice session.

"Where are they, do you think?" Ron mumbled, looking around at the empty pitch.

"Maybe they've already- no wait. Look, here they come."

I pointed to the changing rooms where several maroon clad figures were walking out, each holding brooms.

"Uh oh," Ron gritted. "Trouble incoming."

And sure enough, marching on at the other end of the pitch were the Slytherin team.

We raced down at once, eager to interfere.

"What's happening?" Ron asked Harry. "Why aren't you playing? And what's he doing here?"

He was referring, of course, to Draco Malfoy.

"I'm the new Slytherin Seeker, Weasley," he said smugly. "Everyone's just been admiring the brooms my father's bought our team."

Ron gaped, open-mouthed, at the seven superb broomsticks in front of him.

"Good, aren't they?" Draco continued smoothly, his eyes glittering with glee. "But perhaps the Gryffindor team will be able to raise some gold and get new brooms, too. You could raffle off those Cleansweep Fives, I expect a museum would bid for them."

The entire Slytherin team erupted into hysterical laughter and anger bolted through my stomach.

"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in," I said sharply, glaring at Draco. "They got in on pure talent."

The smug look in his face flickered as his eyes locked with mine. "No one asked your opinion, you filthy little Mudblood."

I had no idea what this word meant but it caused an absolute uproar, with the entire Gryffindor team (bar a gobsmacked Harry) looking to lunge at Draco.

So, I was guessing it wasn't exactly a term of endearment.

Ron was the maddest, his face pink as he reached into his robes and retrieved his broken wand. "HOW DARE YOU! YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT ONE, MALFOY!"

It would have been a sweet moment if his spell hadn't backfired and he started vomiting slugs up everywhere.

Still, I looked at him with a newfound respect as Harry and I dragged him to Hagrid's hut to recover. I even mopped his sweaty brow and offered to hold his tea whilst he barfed.

"Malfoy called Hermione something," Harry explained to a baffled Hagrid. "It must have been really bad because everyone went mad."

"It was bad," Ron said hoarsely into the bucket that was rapidly filling with slimy squirming slugs. "Malfoy called her a Mudblood."

"He didn'!" Hagrid gasped.

"He did!" Ron replied.

When Harry and I both exchanged bewildered looks, Hagrid quickly explained that it meant Draco was basically calling me a dirty whore.

How rude.

*****

Suddenly it seemed that Mudblood was the only word in Draco's vocabulary. He seemed to take great pleasure in saying it, his eyes watching me wildly as he awaited my reaction.

When Filch's cat got petrified and it transpired that the Chamber of Secrets had been opened, Draco pushed his way through the crowd until he reached my side, standing so close that for an alarming minute I thought he was going to wrap an arm around me in some sort of comforting gesture.

But instead his cold eyes danced, his usually bloodless face flushed, as he grinned at the sight of the hanging, immobile cat and then at me.

"Enemies of the heir, beware! You'll be next, Mudbloods!"

Well, that settled it for Ron. Draco Malfoy was clearly the heir of Slytherin.

I was a bit more sceptical. I mean, yes Draco was foul, but was he that clever? But just to be sure, I decided to put my intelligence to good use and made a plan to concoct some Polyjuice Potion.

It took simply ages. In the meantime, it transpired Harry could talk to snakes and it wasn't long before Colin Creevey, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Percy's secret girlfriend and a ghost were subjected to the same attack as Norris the cat.

Draco was evidently thirsty for victims, and it was up to me to stop him.

Unfortunately, I ended up turning myself into a cat and then got Petrified myself, leaving the end of year drama in Ron and Harry's not so capable hands.

Luckily, in my hand I left a note, helping them pave their way to glory.

At least when I woke, it was all over. Turned out Ginny was the one who opened the Chamber after being groomed by a book.

Luckily, I didn't miss the end of year exams.

And, despite being unconscious for a large chunk of the year, I still came top.

Oh yes, and Harry and Ron lost us another Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.

Poor Lockhart.

Let's hope the next one fares better and keeps well out of Harry's way.

*****