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"Look, Hermione, it just seemed irrelevant. You never had anything to say about him, and so I presumed you would just want to forget."

"Yes, but to not even mention it though... it makes me wonder what else you've failed to tell me."

I shook my head in disappointment, sitting back in the armchair as I stared into the fire. Having finally caught up with Harry, I'd confronted him about his choice to keep silent on the fact that I'd been tutoring Draco.

"I promise you, I've told you everything I remember." Harry implored, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "I mean, I could have lied and told you that Ron and I threw you a sick seventeenth birthday party, but I was honest and admitted we were too wrapped up in our own selfish lives to bother."

"Yeah... thanks for that," I muttered wryly, wishing that he'd actually lied about that one.

I couldn't help but think about the library books I'd discovered in my nightstand. Every single one of them taken out of the restricted section, all on Dark Magic. What was I trying to research? It didn't seem to comply with any of the Defence Against the Dark Arts topics that my assignments had been covering.

I thought briefly about asking Harry, but he was far too obsessed with the upcoming Quidditch match, and was focussed solely on getting the team up to par. So helping me recover my missing memories was right down at the bottom of his list of priorities.

And Ron - still in the hospital wing - was just as in the dark of my previous comings and goings as I was.

"Sounds like you just wanted to do some extra swotting," he shrugged when I brought the books up to him during visiting hours, "I don't know why you're so worried. It's very you."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Have you told Lavender it's over yet or are you still giving her your best Sleeping Beauty performance?"

A shadow fell across his face. "Don't, Hermione. The last thing I want to do is hurt her."

"Yet, that's exactly what you are doing by not being honest and letting her move on! She thinks this is all down to me and that I'm trying to steal you from her!"

"Well," Ron said, going a deep shade of red as he avoided my gaze, "would it be so bad if she did think that?"

Merlin, was he completely clueless?

"Yes, Ron," I said sharply, "it really would. It's bad enough that I've got this blank space in my mind without having the extra ordeal of getting in the middle of your relationship dramas."

"But..." he mumbled quietly, almost bashfully, "do you see a chance... you know, if I officially end it with Lav, that maybe you and I could...?"

He tailed off at seeing the expression on my face.

"Look," he implored when I sat in stony silence, glaring at him, "I only started kissing Lavender because I was fed up of you putting me down. She stroked my ego when I needed it. She could have been anyone!"

"If that's meant to woo me, Ronald Weasley," I said, my voice shaking in anger as I slowly got to my feet, "then I suggest you work on your chat up lines. Goodbye."

That Saturday, I sat in the stands and watched as Harry got his skull cracked open during his much anticipated Quidditch match.

I'd say he was careless, but clearly I was not one to talk.

*****

Draco washed the glistening white mess off his hand, feeling guilty as fuck that he was using memories she no longer had.

Stepping out of the shower, he thought glumly, that despite the weeks rolling by, it was not getting any easier.

Each time he passed her in the hallways, shared a class together, or caught a glimpse of her at mealtimes, he would feel the dull ache of missing her in his chest.

And it didn't help that that Weasley was always by her side, treating her like a possession. The bastard didn't deserve her- but... at least she wasn't alone.

He just wished it could be him by her side instead.

He would have done anything to have her in his arms again, to feel her soft body against his, and listen to her steady breaths as they fell asleep together.

It was worse when she looked at him, because he could see that she saw nothing more than the boy who used to bully her. Everything they had shared, everything that had made her fall in love with him had vanished from her mind. Every conversation, every kiss, every fuck was gone.

However, it had not all been for nothing. Without the distraction of Hermione Granger, Draco had almost completed his task. He'd written to his mother letting her know the bird had finally survived the journey.

He should have felt relieved, jubilant, even. But all he felt was a sickness in his stomach about what fixing the cabinet meant. And when his mother wrote back saying it wouldn't be happening until the last day of June because Voldemort was keen for end of year exams to be completed first, he balked in horror, realising he had a whole month of doing nothing but waiting and knowing hell was going to be unleashed upon his clueless classmates.

And there was no stopping it.

*****

Ron had become very attentive with me ever since being discharged from the hospital wing.

He walked with me everywhere, insisting on carrying my bag, he sat next to me in all our shared classes, forcing Harry to sit by himself (although Harry didn't seem to mind a jot, seemingly oddly encouraging of coupling Ron and me up), and every mealtime he served me dinner, making sure I had everything I needed before he then served himself.

But although I loved having my friend back, friendship was now all I felt for him, like a brotherly love. And I'm not going to lie, he was being completely overbearing.

"You're just still upset over the Lavender situation," Harry assured me when I confided this to him one evening by the common room fire after Ron had turned in early. "It really hurt you. I'd never seen you look so upset over anything before, and he did parade it right in your face. Give it time, I'm sure your old feelings will resurface. You're made for each other."

I sighed heavily, gazing at him curiously. "Why are you so keen for Ron and me to get it on? Wouldn't it be rather weird for you, like being a third wheeler?"

"I have my reasons," Harry shrugged mysteriously as he glanced up past my shoulder.

I looked round to see Ginny filing her nails, looking thoroughly bored as Dean showed off his football card collection to her.

Ah. I got it. Keep Ron sweet so he's less likely to blow up when Harry starts pounding his little sister. Smart.

And then a sudden, alarming thought occurred to me.

"Do you think Ron and Lavender... you know?" I asked as I turned back to Harry.

I saw the panic on Harry's face at once. "Uh- maybe... I dunno."

"Because it would change things if they had. For me. It was bad enough discovering that he'd shared his first kiss with someone else, but if he'd... you know. I don't know if I could cope. The first time should be special... memorable. I don't want mine to be Ron's sloppy seconds."

Harry went extremely pale, loosening the collar of his robes at once. I was confused, it wasn't like him to get uncomfortable talking about sex. He and Ron used to talk about it all the time - it was me who used to walk off in embarrassment.

"Hermione, maybe we shouldn't ah- talk about it-"

"Oh grow up, Harry," I snapped. "Who else am I supposed to talk to about this stuff? You and Ron are literally my only friends - the only people in this whole school who I trust."

"The thing is, Hermione," Harry rushed out quickly, "I really don't think losing your virginity is that big a deal. Who cares if it's forgettable? What counts is the future and choosing a sensible life partner who won't hurt you or put you in kind of danger whatsoever."

His eyes shifted guiltily from side to side as he fidgeted in his seat.

"Life partner? What is this? Jerry Springer's Final Thought?"

Merlin, what was with Harry these days? I knew he was under pressure what with Dumbledore dumping all this extra responsibility onto his sixteen year old shoulders (apparently he had to die to win the war or some shit), but he was acting horrendously fishy when it came to my love life.

"I care about you, Hermione," he said solemnly. "And I want the best for my friends. You and Ron belong together, I just know it."

It was just a shame I no longer felt it.

I wasn't sure what had changed in the period of my memory loss, but something had.

And I was determined to find out what.

*****

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