This is not happening.

"What the f-?"

Before Harry could reach the end of his sentence, in a quick ninja move, Draco had grabbed me and pulled me down beneath him, shielding me as much as he could with his body as he lay over me on the sofa, protecting my dignity.

"Get the fuck out of here, pervert!" He bellowed, glaring up at the open mouthed Gryffindor who had gone a deep shade of red.

"I- I- I'm sorry!" Harry stammered badly as he backed away from the smoking doorway, trying to look anywhere but at me as I lay cringing beneath Draco's chest. "I- I heard noises and I thought you were hurting her!"

"Quite the opposite, actually," Draco snarled. "Now get the fuck out of here before I fucking kill you!"

"But... but- your door-" Harry spluttered stupidly as he attempted to step back inside the room with his hand held in front of his eyes. "I could- I could try and fix-"

"FUCK OFF!" Draco and I both screamed in unison.

Harry's eyes guiltily met mine, before he wheeled on the spot and scurried away.

"Fuck," Draco muttered as he fidgeted around in his pocket for his wand, still keeping me shielded beneath him.

Managing to locate it, he pointed it towards the broken door and chanted, "Reparo!"

Once it was safely fixed back in place, he scrambled off me, awkwardly looking away as I wrapped my arms shyly across my chest and manoeuvred myself into a sitting position next to him.

The boldness I had felt when I first entered the room had all but left me. Instead, I could feel my face grow hot in shame and humiliation, realising my bra and shirt were out of reach in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Here," Draco muttered, following my gaze as he jumped up off the sofa and grabbed them.

He tossed them towards me, subtlety looking away as I quickly pulled them back on. When he turned back around I couldn't help but stare at the large wet patch on the front of his trousers, my stomach knotting in a mixture of horror and exhilaration at what we'd just done.

It suddenly all seemed so sordid in the aftermath and I felt, for want of a better word, dirty. 

At the time, of course, I had enjoyed it very much - allowing myself to completely surrender to the moment and his touch. And not to mention feeling hugely empowered as Draco had come completely undone too. It had been thrilling, in fact.

But then Harry had to come along and ruin it as per fucking usual, and now everything was awkward and I just wanted to curl up and die.

As though sensing my complete discomfort, Draco seemed to pull himself together and was suddenly crouching down in front of me, his hands reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ears.

"Listen to me," he demanded gently yet firmly, his grey eyes searching mine as he cupped my face, "you've done nothing wrong, you know that, don't you?"

"I need to go and find him," I said, panic tight in my chest. "I need to find Harry."

Anger flecked in the silver of Draco's eyes. "Forget about bloody Potter, he had no right barging in on us like that."

"You don't understand," I said, shaking my head in his hands, "this obsession he has with you, it's not healthy, it's dangerous-"

"You think I should fear Potter?" He scoffed, a sneer curling at his lip. "Don't insult me, Granger. You have no idea."

He dropped his hands away from me and immediately straightened up, agitatedly pacing the floor in front of the sofa.

"Well, tell me, then," I said sharply, my heart racing uneasily by this sudden change of atmosphere. "Tell me, Draco, what it is that you do have to fear?"

He froze, the colour draining from his face as he slowly turned to look at me. "What- what do you mean?"

"I think you know," I whispered, my face burning as I glanced pointedly at his left arm.

His eyes flashed and he looked, for a second, as though he was going to break down and confess everything.

I held my breath in vain hope, not daring to make a noise or the slightest movement in case he changed his mind.

But to my dismay, it didn't work, and a shadow fell across his face, his eyes steeling over.

"You should leave," he said coldly. "Go back to saint Potter and the pathetic Weasel. You belong with them, the Golden fucking Trio, saving the world from scum like me."

I blinked up at him, shocked. "Draco, don't be like-"

"Don't be like what?" He snapped. "Haven't I always been this way? Do you think anything's changed - that I'm capable of change?"

"Yes, yes I do," I breathed shakily, slowly getting to my feet, "I believe you've changed a lot, otherwise I wouldn't have... I mean, what we just did- I would not have..." I tailed off, suddenly realising with horror that I had put my trust in someone I really should not have done.

He looked away, hands driving through his hair as he let out a frustrated cry. "Just leave, Granger. You don't know me, you don't know me at all."

The hurt I was hit with shocked me, it felt a million times worse than when Ron found a new lab partner to try out his chemistry experiments on.

Red hot tears of humiliation stung behind my eyes as I marched blindly across the room for the door. I refused to beg, to degrade myself any more than I already had.

Although I still hesitated at the door - just for a fraction of a second... just in case.

But he said nothing, so I yanked it open and left.

*****

Despite just having stepped out of the shower, Draco ran the basin's cold tap and splashed water over his face.

Gasping and shaking his head, he straightened up and glanced into the bathroom mirror before him.

He had about a second of seeing his Dark Mark reflecting accusingly back at him before the glass steamed up completely.

A darkness descended upon him, a large lump obstructing his throat. He swallowed, but it did not go anywhere.

Things had gone too far. He'd fallen for someone he shouldn't. Yet, he was deceiving her because he did not have the guts to tell her who he really was.

Would she understand? Could he ever expect her to?

He glanced down at his arm, wishing he could scratch the hateful image away. Because as long as it was burned into his skin how could he hold her without it being a betrayal? How could he even look her in the eye?

No, it was best this way. Best for her, best for him, even if he did long to be close to her.

Throwing on a fresh suit, he tried to ignore the horrific ache in his chest as he prepared himself for an all nighter in the Room of Requirement.

Fucking Dumbledore was managing to dodge all his assassination attempts, and he didn't even know what had happened to that poisoned mead he'd sent him for Christmas.

All Draco knew was that if he didn't kill Dumbledore soon then he'd have to fix the cabinet, and if he fixed the cabinet then he'd be putting Hermione's life in grave danger.

But if he didn't manage to do either then his own life would be threatened. And he didn't want that.

Yes, Draco Malfoy was a coward through and through.

And he'd never hated himself more for it.

*****