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[Riley]

Vibes and good vibes only was officially my new saying. A spiritual proverb I would forever implement into my life because it seemed by living by it, good things were unfolding. Unfolding perfectly with the right people around to help me savor each moment and with peace. It wasn't always this easy though, emitting positive energy out into the world and accepting it with open arms once given back. This simplistic process was a learning one that took me years to adjust to. To be precise, it probably took, at maximum, a long ten and exhausting years. And though that was entirely too long according to my timing and liking, I wouldn't have hastened the process not once.

What little sense of self I believed I had as a teenager quickly disappeared into thin air sometime around nineteen. I was confused with who Riley was, what she wanted, who she wanted and I was busy looking for the answers to my life in a list of ridiculous things all because I figured I needed to have it all figured out; in new hairstyles, trendy and dare I say now hideous clothes, immature guys who would later break my heart and construe my beliefs on relationships, and anything else that seemed as though it held plausible answers.

Time after time, year after year I found myself going in circles, becoming discouraged that I was coming up short every time. That's when my mindset darkened and negativity blurred possibilities. Then to rub salt into this wound that had been open for so long, life threw more bullshit in my path. Regardless, I dealt with it all and I kept pushing and holding onto empty words those around me would try to force into my brain. And even when I did begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel, ounces of doubt managed to put me back at square one. It was blocking me from being optimistic and blinding me from the little things that were actually blessings in the midst of what felt like hell.

Not anymore though. I take all my losses with a grain of salt and again even if it does sound cliché, I keep my head up while speaking positivity into everything. I also accept the karma that comes back to me, good that is, and the biggest one yet has been love.

I'm currently exhausted, hungry as hell, stressed beyond description per usual but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because I'm also driving around Los Angeles in my brand new Audi RS 7, soaking in seventy degree weather with the sunroof wide open. My freshly blown out hair is blustering in the wind, anticipating the heat to sweat it out and shrivel it back into its natural state as I sit beside one of my best friends. I've never felt so free, so happy and in love. In love with myself, where I am in life and with someone who knows how frustrating I am yet loves me back. At twenty nine I can genuinely say the journey was worth it and I am good.

"Wait, wait tell me you remember this one!" I shouted over the heavy gusts clashing with the music blaring from the speakers in every other corner. The manufactures had this compact car sounding like a stadium the way Bose equipped it to be, and Donovan and I were loving every second of it as we trickled down memory lane.

This nostalgic playlist I created last night on Apple Music while resting, and what soon became prolonged boredom, held so many tracks him and I as well as Leslie found comfort in while in college. Some came along and changed our lives or set the tone of old memories, but either way they were and still are special to us. So much that I was barely keeping my eyes on the road from time to time as I recalled the past and felt the need to scroll down the list to help Donovan recall it too.

"This one!" I repeated in the same excited pitch, just in time for the Cool & Dre produced track to begin while 50 Cent and myself began revving up the launch of one of his most unforgettable verses. 

"Comin' up I was confused, my mama kissing a girl. Confusion occurs coming up in the cold world. Daddy ain't around, probably out committing felonies, my favorite rapper used to sing 'Check, Check Out My Melody'. I wanna live good so shit, I sell dope for a four finger ring, one of them gold ropes. Nana told me if I pass could get a sheep skin coat. If I can move a few packs and get the hat, now that'd be dope. Tossed and turned in my sleep that night, woke up the next morning niggas done stole my bike. Different day, same shit, ain't nothing good in the hood. I'd run away from this bitch and never come back if I could."

I remembered that verse to this day like it was imperative to my survival. The song was that great as a whole and you couldn't name one person in this world who admired hip-hop that hated Hate It or Love It. Well, maybe there were a few but the era of G-Unit and a many of other major hip-hop groups and phenomenal artists during the late 90s early 2000s made music. They made music fun, they made it relatable and they gave it a future. A future that soon became obliterated by the trash we have today. 

"Curtis Jackson and Jayceon Taylor!" Donovan exclaimed as he glanced over at me with brightest grin on his face, and the rest of the melody played out in the background. "You can not tell me that back in 2005, our freshmen year, this wasn't the only song we listened to for a smooth two to five months straight."

"It was, man." I nearly whispered and shook my head as a weak chuckle followed. "It seems so long ago, doesn't it? So distant."

"Yeah, but being in California right now while listening to it is reviving those days. You remember?" he quizzed as his grin became a sly smirk.

Who would forget the slick shit the three of us used to pull in college? Before all the responsibilities and back when there were no restrictions? Back when we thought we were the freest we would ever be? None of us could forget those days.

"It was your nineteenth birthday, the same week as our spring break." I began to utter as I leaned my head back against the leather headrest and the car began to settle in traffic. I could recall it so easily. "The three of us thought we were doing something by saving up some of our refund checks and what little we had left of work study money. We got on a freakin' Greyhound bus to Las Vegas. Horrible idea ever, might I add. We only stayed there for two days. Then the nerve of us to rent a car and drive six hours to California. We had no clue where we were even going."

"Not one. We took turns riding through all kinds of hoods just to get a taste of what a few hours in Hollywood felt like, life outside of cold weather on the east coast. Now that I think about," Donovan began as leaned forward to the volume nob and lowered the sound. "I don't even think we touched Hollywood, and we swore we were quote on quote adults too."

"We were idiots, actually." I admitted making us both laugh. "The trip on the Greyhound was the worse trip ever  but this song for some odd reason meshed with the experience made it awesome. And I wouldn't take back the verbal lashing my mother gave me for wasting money. It  was worth it."

"Man, my dad beat my ass." he disclosed lowly as his eyes cut ahead at the endless cars that joined us. "Leslie wasn't too much of a fan of this song or the album like we were though but she dealt with it. She didn't really have a choice."

"She didn't. We were the music heads, while she had more expertise in fashion." And to this day that detail remained the same and I doubted it would ever change.

"The Documentary was one of the best rap albums that entire year though so anybody could have enjoyed it, but Les cared more about what was hot during fashion week. Honestly speaking, there were so many quality albums that year and they all made me want to become more involved in music, anything involving it. We had Encore, Late Registration and Be. Now the labels, the genre, it's all just..."

"Let's not even go into depth about the heap of mess it is now." I cut in before he began dissecting, and that would then become us both ranting. "It'll ruin our moment."

"True, true. What the hell happened to The Game anyways?"

"He fell off. I mean he still has some fire ass verses but you have be willing to look beyond his reality television bullshit, bad attitude and thirst trap Instagram photos with dumb ass hashtags he refuses to not post."

"I see." Donovan murmured then rested his head against the window as a silence lingered between us, and now Touch the Sky was making its way through the wavelengths of the car.

Though the song was so lively and one of our favorites in the past, something about Donovan's choice to not rap along with each verse as he usually does or engage in conversation about why we obsessed over this track and the album made me examine him. 

"Isn't it crazy how our interests actually found their ways into our careers?" he finally released after what felt like minutes.

"It is, and at some point I didn't think they would. Which brings me to you being here. Thank you so much for taking time off work and flying across the country for me. I really appreciate it."

"It's no problem Ry, but I need to apologize for changing up our schedule we had planned. I had to do some last minute stuff at work that wouldn't permit a trip here last week."

"No apology needed. While you were missing in action," I teased, tossing him a smirk as the traffic began to move freely as before. "I got a chance to unpack everything and decorate all my rooms as I had them painted out in my head. The colors are just...I love them! I got my office put together too. I had to take a few cabs around to the stores and even took the bus to get what I needed, but it enabled me to get a tour of my neighborhood. So it is all good."

"You took the bus?" he questioned, drawing his attention from highway signs and exits ahead of us to me. "Public transportation? I'm shocked and I now feel horrible."

"Why shocked? I took the train back in New York from time to time and the bus. In Chicago the CTA was all I knew. Besides, like I said, it gave me a chance to get comfortable in the area I live in. So don't go beating yourself up for having to change plans. Shit happens."

"Still, I wish I could have kept my word. You know how I am."

"I know." I exhaled and reached over to gently shake his shoulder. Maybe it would shake some of his uneasiness he had clouding him. "If it makes you feel better, I wasn't alone. Tate was here for the first night then once you canceled I called my mom and told her she could come a bit earlier if she wanted. She hopped on that option so quick, had her friend who works for Southwest illegally switch the date of her ticket so she could come that following night he left. She stayed with me for the remainder of the week and most of this one. But now I have you here and a brand new car so there is no problem."

"And Leslie." he added as I playfully rolled my eyes and remembered that LAX was where the two of us were headed.

"How could I ever forget the presence of Leslie Mitchell who always makes herself known? I meant to ask, are you staying for a few more days or do you have to head back to the Big Apple?"

"Uh no, I'll still be here. I took a vacation from work for you but I really needed it for myself too." Donovan sighed heavily as if another nerve was struck, and I had my fingers crossed whatever was bothering him would now be mentioned. I assumed it was his job that was the source of his sudden change in mood, and if he were going to be here on vacation and thoroughly appreciate this time for himself, he needed to vent about it. Let all his frustrations out and put his stress on the back burner.

"We used to always tell each other to never sell out. Never be a part of something that wasn't for the greater good and didn't satisfy us. So how did I get here, Ry?"

"Things still not coming through?" I asked, believing maybe they were since for a while now he had been silent about it.

"Not at all," he confessed as he tossed his hands up in defeat. "I'm so sick of that label and them just not caring. I'm tired of seeing all the changes they're making, the bullshit artists they bring in and then the ones I bring in that they continuously reject. I swear I'm on the verge of quitting Ry, but where the hell else can I go? At almost thirty I'm not trying to start over. At thirty I was supposed to be one of the best damn A&Rs at Columbia, making way more than what they give me and maybe even managing one of their top tier artists."

"Well..." I said apprehensively as I hesitated to argue against his last remark.

"Don't even start, Riley." He shot back tightly in his defense. Donovan knew exactly where I was headed. "They wanted me to oversee Hakeem from corny ass Empire and that other boy."

"I think...I think Dej Loaf is a girl." I corrected and chewed into my bottom lip as the glare of his vibrant blue eyes cut right though me.

"Riley."

"Okay, I'm sorry. Donovan you know there is nothing wrong with starting over, right? Or trying a different path? You're still very much young so you have plenty of time to do just that if you wanted to. If that label is holding you back or the artist they give you just don't sit well with you, and you feel you can do better somewhere else, then do it. Don't stay there out of fear. You'll be miserable."

"I know. Every damn morning I walk in there and I tell myself exactly that, yet here I am complaining. Maybe if I look around LA I'll find a new job or maybe just a brief intermission from my reality will be enough."

"Oh you thinking about joining team Cali?" My eyes were now peering over at him as he causally shrugged and gave into my brief but still inquiring stare. Having at least one of my friends close by would make my transition so much easier.

"Yeah, maybe."

"Well if you don't find anything you like and really don't want to go back to New York and that shitty job, you can always come work with me."

"No way, Ry. That's your label and I don't want a handout." he said, and the solemnity he displayed with his words caught me completely off guard.

"Don't be ridiculous, Donovan!" I snapped back as we finally reached the exit that lead directly to the curbside for American Airlines. "I learned my A&R skills from you therefore if you want to join forces with me and my team then you can. We need real music lovers and just genuine people who are trying to make a difference and revive urban music like yourself. We also need professionals which is you too. Don't forget that, okay?"

He simply nodded as a smile replaced the frown that I was afraid would be planted on his face for the remainder of this visit. "I thank God I met you sometimes."

"Same same, but don't be getting all sappy on me. I'm too G for that." I joked and lightly nudged his side with my elbow.

"Yeah, Cole is definitely rubbing off on you. It's been like six years now right? Six years in the making."

"We weren't talking for three of those years though. So more like three."

"He was still there though during those lost ones. Trust me, we could see him all in you." Donovan pressed on before changing the conversation. "Anyways, you coming back to New York anytime soon?"

"I am actually. I'm coming back with Les so I can get some work done up there with XXL and my cousin. Since we're talking about her, make sure we don't miss her. She's more than likely sporting shorts, a tank top, single strapped heels and an Afro." I tittered, and Donovan could only snicker to himself and shake his head because it was nothing but the truth. 

That was Leslie's typical 'going for a quick run to the [insert elaborate not so basic ass place here]' outfit in the summertime. A merge of simplicity and in her words a splash of chic.

"I spy with my little eye..." We both began gaping out the front windows as I eased the car down the curbside, and around stationed taxis and hotel buses all in search for her. I'd bet money she was inside sitting down, avoiding sunlight by all costs because that's just what Leslie does in the summer time too. And the nerve of her to actually been born in the middle of the season.

"There she is." I mumbled before pulling aside to park. "Oh, she wanted to switch her look up on us. This bitch has faux locs and those damn lace-up boots I wanted. I bet they're Tom Ford too!" I squealed before hopping out of the car, leaving Donovan behind in the passenger side.

"You get married, go on a honeymoon in Tanzania and come back all brand new?" I nearly shouted as I approached her with a smirk playing along my lips, and my hand clutching my hip. Leslie turned around on her heels at the sound of my very familiar voice and returned the same smug expression.

"Bitch, don't hate. Give me some love!"

"Oh gosh, I've missed you so much!" I babbled, throwing my arms around her body as hers secured themselves around mine. "Two, almost three weeks is too long. How am I going to do this LA thing without the love of my life?"

"I don't know." she cooed as we gradually pulled away from our embrace, and her eyes lagged behind me. "You calling me brand new yet you're the one with a foreign luxury car straight off the lot accompanied by a fine light skinned man. Miss me with the bull, Ms. Coleman."

"Well hello Leslie." Donovan greeted as the space between them closed and they both shared a hug. "How'd the honeymoon go?"

"It was so beautiful. I have to tell y'all about it later 'cause right now a sista really just wants to get out of this heat, rest her feet and change clothes. I'm over getting cute for plane rides. It's getting old now."

"Oh, you've grown up?" I badgered mockingly as Donovan grabbed her suitcase and placed in into the trunk. "You should definitely change though because if you haven't noticed, Donny and I are dressed in workout clothes."

"You sure are." Les breathed out as she scanned over my grey nylon shorts and tank top that fit perfectly to my body. "So explain."

"We're going to Runyon Canyon Park to sightsee, mostly to climb those steep ass trails."

"Mhm, and it's not too far from Ry's condo so that's a plus." Donny threw in after as he opened the passenger door, and hopped inside the car leaving Leslie on the curbside appearing dumbfounded.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard it right. Come on and hop in." I urged, giving her a gentle shove toward the back door. "Welcome to Los Angeles, skank! Welcome to LA."

—————

"Just so you know, this is the first and last time I'm ever walking up here." Leslie huffed as she dramatically fanned herself with her scarlet painted manicured nails. "Mark my words, Riley."

"Shut up and just enjoy this scenery." I threatened and stood back to survey the aerial view of the city below.

From this point of the trail we had climbed, every apartment, road, tower and even the hills that stretched further back seemed to so minuscule. They were swallowed up by the plush variety of trees here and there that essentially made this place so distinctive, and their new found appearance made me feel like a giant; so fearless and resilient as I hovered every detail and allowed the sun to gleam down on my skin, and the dash of breeze sweep against my hair.

"This is amazing." I expelled, sounding breathless from what I was witnessing, while Donovan crept up beside me and silently took in the scene.

"Do you plan on walking up here every day?" Leslie interrupted from behind us as she remained seated on the bench to rest.

"Yep, it'll help me

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