[Melanie]

"The New York way to eat a slice of pizza is by folding it in half while holding it by the crust. Come on, try it."

"Wait, what?" The muddled look on his face should have been captured on camera. Almost every detail about New York City and the east coast, that was all new to Lamarr, left him like this; either amused or confused. I assume that's how most people who relocated here and were trying to adjust felt at some point. It was a totally different scenery if you had never lived in a city with at least a million people inhabiting it, and it was a culture shock as well. The streets were busy, the people could be impolite, the rent was expensive, yet it was still everyone's fantasy but underneath a possible nightmare.

"Yep, that way you can walk through crowds of people while eating it and not have your toppings falling all over the place or your slice for that matter."

"Oh," he began as his lifted his piece of pepperoni pizza up and followed both simple steps. "So like this?"

"Mhm." I nodded, watching as he took a huge bite, leaving not even half in his hand.

Lamarr hadn't even noticed that we were currently weaving through groups of people on a hectic sidewalk that was only half of our trip back to campus, and he did it all while he had just learned one of the first of many New York City survival tactics. On top of that, he mastered it.

"Where I'm from we just take a bite and call it a day. You city folks are...different," he eased out making sure not to offend me. "You don't come off as a city girl though."

"That's because I'm not, exactly. I was born and raised in New Jersey, Montclair to be exact. It's about a forty minute drive from here."

"Yeah? My roommate Damien is from there. It's still more metro than where I'm from. How did you get here though?"

"How did you get here?" I pitched back slyly, raising my eyebrow as I glanced over at him with a smirk. He was questioning me yet his circumstances were a bit more out of the norm than mine. It wasn't that common to find people from North Carolina this far north, but it was a frequent for New Jersey residents to cross the bridge and mesh in as if they had lived here forever. "I actually spent most of my life admiring the city skyline that is a beauty from our side. I told myself when I got old enough to move away, whether for college of just to start life as an adult, I'd move to the city. It was just a dream of mine, so why not? Why keep staring at something so close and attainable, you know?"

"I definitely do," he mumbled, placing the rest of his pizza down. "I admired it on television and in magazines though. I have this aspiration to be one of the best rappers to ever touch a mic. A bit farfetched and typical for a nigga like me I guess, but I want it bad."

"You any good?" he shrugged modestly.

"I think I'm alright. I'm steadily working on my rhymes and making beats when I can, but this college life sucked me in."

"Tell me about it. Whenever you have free time use it wisely. I'm sure you'll blow up one day and maybe then I can come to one of your shows and support."

"You a rap fan?" From the tone in his voice I could tell his interest was piqued.

"Not the slightest, but I like you so I'll give it a chance."

"That would be appreciated. So tell me, if you're a Jersey girl then how do you know so much about New York?"

"Family. Many of my relatives reside over here and I spent many summers with them. It kind of helped me adjust before I actually made the choice to apply for universities this way and move."

"Ah I see."

"But enough about me, tell me more about the southern gem who took flight and is purposely putting himself through hell when he could have it good in the comfort of the south."

"Eh, it wasn't always that good. Part of why I wanted to leave, plus this is more of my tempo. This is my chance to have more in life and that's even if I never become a rapper. Most of the niggas in Fayetteville are being thrown in jail or getting killed, I don't believe one bit that's for me. So here I am, surviving off of scholarships, financial aid, faith, a dollar and a dream."

"That's all you need, really only faith but the free money helps too." I joked, making us both laugh as we turned down yet another street. My feet were beginning to ache and I hadn't mentioned it to Lamarr but this walk was bound to last another twenty minutes or more. I had an urge to be in his presence and pick at his brain. He was different from most of the other guys I had conversed with on this campus and in our class. He was intelligent and far from a jerk or rude, he was actually quite the sweetheart. There was an innocence to Lamarr and though he may not have been the cutest thing walking, his personality made up for it.

"You ever think at some point you'll go back home? Some people move to the Big Apple or a borough around it and get so lost in it. It's easy to do that with all the action, but it's also important to remember where you came from. It's humbling."

"I'm sure I will. My mama is still down there so I kind of don't have a choice, but I get what you mean." His eyes gazed forward at the bare trail we were towing. Unlike Jamaica Avenue, this one was a lot quieter and it was settling. It was what both of us needed before we parted ways for the evening and continued on with our tiring week of classes. "I hope I never forget home, if so I'm sure I'll go running back there for cover if all this shit fails. That'll be a reminder." He chuckled before his eyes wandered over to me. I could feel his stare burning through my skin, and the longer he held his eyes on me the more nervous I grew.

"What?" I asked, hearing my voice shake with uneasiness and vibrate against my ears as I turned and our eyes finally met.

"Nothing," he uttered with a grin stretched along his face. "Nothing at all."

The gesture was infectious because now I could feel the corner of my lips curving up as I stared ahead at the sun that slowly descended into what would become the night air. Something in my gut told me Lamarr Cole was going to be someone of importance in my life. Whether he'd become a friend of mine or more, he'd pose some kind of influence on me, and it would be unforgettable.

"I think you'd enjoy a condominium better than you would a loft. Don't you think so?" My mother's voice was distant to me. It was as if I could hear it but with my focus resting heavily out the window that hovered over 22nd Street, I couldn't quite decipher her words. Instead I was adoring, for one of the last times, the neighborhood of Chelsea I had dissociated myself from for love, and I did it as my mind dragged me down memory lane.

Though these past few weeks have been hell and was the main reason why I should curse any recollection of Lamarr and I's relationship, I just couldn't yet. I was taking in everything that NYC reminded me of and falling in love with him was one of them; just as falling out was too. I was also learning from those moments as I should have a years ago.

"Melanie?"

"Mom," I sighed finally turning my attention to her. Hearing my name flipped on a switch, the switch to reality. "I specifically asked you and Sidney to look for lofts. If I wanted a condo then I would have explicitly stated that."

"I know bu—"

"Mom."

"Fine, then I'll keep looking for lofts." she said as her eyes shadowed my path from the window sill to a line of half packed boxes against the wall of the cramped living room. "How do you plan on getting all this stuff to Chicago? Have you even thought about that?"

"Yes I have," I breathed out becoming annoyed the more she spoke to me like a damn adolescent. "I contacted a representative at U-Pack and my belongings should arrive the afternoon of whatever day I land. As of now my worry is finding a place to lay my head that allows me to pay rent monthly and store all of this stuff. The quicker we find one, the quicker I can set the rest of my plans up and leave."

"I just can't believe you're actually leaving New York behind like this. You're running away Melanie." Of course Sidney would add her two cents.

The reason I had her seeking vacant locations in my bedroom was to dodge the chance of these two ganging up on me. The way the natures of most of the women in our family were set up, that wasn't possible. These two swore that their unsolicited opinions were needed, they believed I needed them. But I didn't, and for once I wanted to do as I wanted with no questions asked or judgment cast.

"For the millionth time, I am not running." My tone grew harsher as Sidney hit the corner of the living room and bedroom, making her presence known. "I'm simply starting over and in a place I've wanted to be for years now. I haven't been happy in New York City since I've graduated from college. Now that I'm free to do what I want, with no man to worry about or any other damn thing, can I freaking do it? I've thought this out, somewhat, and I just want to do it? So again, can I?"

"Of course you can baby but it just seems as if..."

"It seems as if she's afraid of what is bubbling here and she's looking for a quick distraction to help her avoid." Sidney added, completing my mother's explanation.

"You're not going to let me be, are you?"

"No, not at all. Melanie you and Lamarr just split and it was one of the worse breakups I've ever heard of, if I'm being honest here. I'm worried that you're not finished with this city and your life here. When you finally do come back, if you ever do, it'll all come crashing down on you, and all because you ran for cover so fast."

"But I am finished here," I retorted firmly. "Lamarr and I are done for good. There is nothing more there to fix and I'm sure he'd be glad to never see my face again. The lease on this place that I haven't been in for almost a year now is officially null in the next couple of weeks. My career is practically based in Chicago. I love Chicago, and I need a fresh start. I'm a twenty-nine year old black woman who suddenly needs to find herself, and I just want the freedom to do that without people trying to stand in the way."

This was new grounds for me. My twenties was the decade where I was supposed to discover the things that I enjoyed. I was supposed to be traveling, experimenting, and loving myself and whatever I was to evolve into. I however ended up depriving myself and Lamarr of that all because I thought being in a relationship and loving him was enough. I thought that love would fill the voids, but it hadn't. I knew moving to a new city and ultimately living out my twenties while actively maturing in my thirties would be a struggle. It would be like a toddler learning to walk all over again. I had to reach the milestones I missed though, I had to learn to live on my own. I had to learn to be on my own and as crazy as it might sound, Riley said it best; I needed to love myself. There was an abundance of possibilities waiting for me and I could now seek them and enjoy them but only if I removed myself from a place that held all my past and it's grief. It all felt weird and I knew that feeling would only progressively grow stronger along the way, but at some point, the genuine happiness and fulfillment would override it. At least I hope it would.

"Though I may not agree with your bold choice, I'll support you." Sidney obliged. "If this makes you happy then I'll even come to Chicago and help you set up your new spot. If this is what you want."

"I've been wanting this."

"Okay then," she eased out, pausing shortly before walking over to the couch to occupy the only empty spot on it. "Since we're bringing him up, how is Lamarr?"

"He's okay, I guess. I haven't spoken to him in almost three weeks now and the last time I did, he didn't really have much to say to me. I understand his attitude though, I'm the reason he now has an assortment of broken bones, a ruined friendship and who knows what else."

"What possessed you to even cheat on him?" My mother quizzed with a tilt of her glasses to her nose. For a second it sounded as if she was actually concerned about him and his health, and how he may have felt with everything that unfolded between us. Maybe she was because the last time we talked, he was the bad guy and he had always been. Now the roles had switched and I might have played the part a bit better, the acts I committed were far worse.

"I'm shocked you even care enough to check."

"Well, Lamarr wasn't always the man he has become in these last few years. When I met him he was a sweetie pie who fancied my daughter and was there for her during a rough patch of her life. Whenever he was around I only wished that you all would stand the test of time, and for a while you did. It still amazes me that it came down to this and now that I know what part you took in it all, I'm just curious. How did it take this to get you to finally wake up and let go?"

"For the longest I was afraid to walk away. I got comfortable, I was blinded by love and just plain stupid." I admitted while making myself cozy on the spot of the floor beneath me. "I knew better all along but I just wanted to believe things would change or I'd wake up and it would all be an alternate world I somehow got lost in. Day in and day out it only worsened, and I just became even more stupid. It's almost as if the explosion between us is what literally opened my eyes and made me realize I can't keep holding us both back. I regret cheating on him every single day, hiding the truth about the baby, and there is no excuse for either. I regret putting everyone in jeopardy, even you Sid. How are things between you, Riley and her friend you're doing business with?"

"Oh trust that I didn't let your bull get in the way of money. Besides, Leslie had nothing to do with any of this. To be real, Riley didn't either but she's only cool in my book as long as you say you're okay with it. I'm actually loyal unlike some people I know." she teased, shooting a heavy side eye toward me.

"I so peeped that."

"Yeah whatever," she chuckled, waving me and my feelings off. "I would ask you how many times have you cried yourself to sleep at night so far but that's petty, and this discussion is becoming depressing. Where is the damn wine? We all need a drink right about now."

"Sidney, its only noon." A sip of any of the red substances I owned would just start up another Waiting to Exhale moment.

"And? Don't tell me those bottles are buried in one of these boxes already." she pestered, pushing aside the stack of leather jackets, winter coats and sweaters fit for fall and winter season aside her.

"Actually girls, they're still in the cabinet above the stove." My mother confirmed. "I packed most of the stuff in the kitchen but left the alcohol out on purpose."

She was now leaving her place on the round-button ottoman resting at one foot of the couch, and trailing toward the kitchen that was only a few feet away in these New York apartments. The lack of space that I had become accustomed to was sure to be one detail I would not miss.

Now, just as some minutes ago, I was admiring something so distinctive alike to the unforgettable autumn scenery outside. It was the stride my mother seemed to own that I took heed of. She was so elegant and even when she wasn't trying to. Her head always stayed hoisted in such a majestic way, almost as if she was superior and knew she owned your attention and should have. It was confidence though, something she gained after leaving a bad marriage and it was permanent now. My mother's poise was simply striking. The way her hand effortlessly reached for the wine and glasses without a strain or struggle, or even the way she gently held them in her grip and eased her way back over to us. I only hoped that now I could possess the same grace. It was far more than physical but her being as a whole. I wanted that glimmer of bona fide contentment she had with herself and her life. I didn't want her to teach me her ways though. I wanted to learn it all on my own and make her proud as she had desired for the longest.

"Okay," she started before handing us each one of the tulip shaped flutes. "We're only going to have one glass, make a toast and get back to working. Though I'm sad Melanie and I are sharing this moment under these circumstances, I'm glad we can finally rekindle our relationship. I've missed my princess."

"Aww mom," I cooed, allowing a tender smile to settle along my lips. "Don't start this."

"Listen, I'm just glad you're both here and one of us isn't at the other's throat. Now, let me start pouring." As she popped open the already unsealed bottle of Noval Black and poured enough in each of our glasses, Sidney began the official toast while I took in the sweet smell of what would get me through the rest of this tedious day.

"This is to a good December that is quickly approaching and a fresh start for Melanie. May she find self-love, happiness and success in the Windy City." Sidney and I both held our glasses up as our mother stood between us on each side of the living room, and followed suit.

"And this is to stronger bonds between the three of us and a lovely future. May each of us forever be the best women that we can be. To the Harris...well, I'm a Brooks now bu—"

"Just say to us mom." Sidney sneered, interrupting what would become a drawn out remark.

"To us!"

This was to us.

---————

[Riley]

"How is it almost two o' clock right now?" I grumbled to myself, questing for the bag that held my second official cover story for XXL and a list of other important things.

My trip back to my apartment after my final meeting of the year with Vanessa wasn't supposed to take this long, especially when I had somewhere else to be within the next hour. Somehow though, after storming inside and tossing my belongings down so that I could change clothes, I found myself wasting time.

A pencil skirt and white button up blouse with six inch heels wasn't really what I had in mind for my visit to Lamarr, it was way too classy and my best form of business attire. Encountering him was not even remotely close to that, so jeans and a t-shirt would have to do; or maybe sweat pants and a hoodie. Hell, even a nice blazer with a pair of jeans would work. I wasn't sure though, in fact I was conflicted and now wondering just how the hell the simple task of finding a plain outfit became so difficult? At the same time I was ecstatic about how smoothly my meeting went earlier and how the story I wrote paired with the candid photography was a crowd favorite of 2014 at the XXL headquarters. Everyone at the office thought it was the first issue that was authentic and it seized every vision they had for it and more. My mind couldn't possibly handle all of these different moments, feelings and tasks swirling around my head. If it could I would've been out the door nearly twenty minutes ago and sharing this all with Lamarr.

Now there was more to interrupt and hound me, a barrage of knocks at my door to be exact. Whoever it was had just set themselves up to help me in this hectic process since they wanted to be aggravating, and they didn't even know it.

"I'm coming!" I yelled while