[Lamarr]

"Yo Cole, I don't think this is a good idea man..."

My heavy eyes were glued on the soundboard ahead of me as I paid not an ample amount of attention to the conversation these niggas were having. Their words were literally falling on deaf ears and only mattered to themselves as they blathered them back and forth between each other. Although the conversation concerned me, the root of it all, I didn't think it was any of their business or necessary for them to give all this extra input that was useless to begin with. They didn't know her like I did, so how could they tell me how to be while I was with her?

After meeting O's cousin Riley a few months ago the two of us hit it off pretty nicely. Everything about her was a breath of fresh air, so it took no time for us to grow close and for her to become one of the people I consider a friend. Even with the constant reiteration to these niggas that she was in fact just my friend, I found myself defending our relationship in some type of hope they'd shut the fuck up. They never did though, and they never would.

If any of them made some kind of sense though it was bound to be Ibrahim. He was like this voice of reasoning when he wasn't being irrational himself. I had my moments where I wouldn't give a damn what others had to say and just did what instinctively felt right, but he would be sure to somehow get me thinking before I acted. Most of the time he only interfered when it came to the music and this label we were currently getting up and running, but today, just as these other guys did, he gave his opinion on my personal life. It wasn't nothing too personal or complicated about this shit though. Riley and I were just friends.

"I thought you knew better than to tag team me with these niggas about something that shouldn't even be a discussion?" I finally budged into all the commotion to rhetorically ask. Ib cut his eyes in my direction and pursed his lips together, right before he fixed them to argue against me.

"Come on fam, you know damn well you don't have any business kicking it this hard with a woman who ain't Mel," He said while leaning against the soundboard, tossing his half empty Gatorade bottle up. "That's a set up, plain and simple."

"But I kick it with Camille and Yoli this heavy,"

"Nah bro, you don't." I squinted my eyes over towards Ced who felt that this was the perfect time to add his two cents. He kept his attention fixated on his piece of shit ass Lenovo that none of us were ever sure what he was always doing on that thing, but I put five on it that he was watching porn all day.

"Dawg, who even asked you?" I mumbled as I stopped the track that was currently playing. All I wanted to do was spend my time making some beats and writing new lyrics, but I couldn't catch any type of break. Now that Ib brought up Melanie, I knew this conversation would be prolonged, I just knew it.

"Ced is right though - for once in his life," Ib joked, causing everyone in the room to laugh. That only caused Ced to finally look up and flick us all off. "Better yet, how about we ask Omen what he thinks when he comes back. I'm sure what he has to say is way better than what we got."

"Man, you niggas buggin'. O doesn't care because there is no reason to."

"He don't know that y'all been hanging with each other this heavy, huh?" Ib's question lingered into complete silence as he titled his head and stared back at me. Discomfort began to swallow me whole, and had me answering with awkward body language; me literally removing my fitted cap to uneasily rub by freshly cut fade. "Cole..."

"What?" I shot back. "He doesn't know and there's no reason to because we–"

"We're just friends!" They all sang in unison like they were a choir or some shit. I just stood up from my seat, pushing it behind me and glared back at them wildly. They were really in here ganging up on me.

"Man fuck all y'all," I hissed, leaving them to themselves. I could no longer sit in this room as they either criticized me or made jokes out of my logic.

I wasn't a dumb guy so I knew there were some boundaries when it came to Riley. She was one of my closest friend's baby cousin and he was the epitome of over protective when it came to her. You even sneeze in her direction and the nigga was bound to be swinging. I knew if I ever acted more than a friend, O would be quick to start a confrontation. I wouldn't say I was necessarily threatened by Omen, but it was best in this case to just stay in my lane.

As I scrolled through my BBM, I saw a new message from the topic of the day herself.

It was weird how my mood shifted in an instant whenever we would speak. The attraction I had to her was unlike any other that I've ever had with a woman. For one, I wasn't attracted to her for her physical being. Not to down play how beautiful of a woman she is, her big heart and intelligence was just far more striking. It was what she knew and how she could drag dialogue out with anyone. Her intellect was on the level of mines so our conversations were never dense. We could go from talking about basketball to injustice, then back to cracking corny jokes. There were no limits with us. Riley was also never afraid to state her opinion and get into debates, friendly of course, with whoever. What was even more admirable was how she could sit at a table full of men and hold her own, she wanted it to be known that her petite stature wasn't something to be taken lightly. To say the least, Riley was that female friend I had always wanted; she was damn near perfect in my eyes.

Again though, I had to be careful and stay in my lane because when I wasn't focused on just her mind, I was reminded and struck by this allure she had to herself. When I had those moments I had to wheel myself back into her personality, keep it strictly platonic.

What is Lamarr Cole up to on this rainy day?

I was recording, but these niggas >.<

I could see her laughing at my text made face and the genuine irritation hidden behind it, almost as if she were here and witnessed what I had just dealt with. I kept walking down the long hallway until I made it to the elevator and got on, heading to the first floor. There were mad vending machines down there so I'm sure I could find some extra relief with a bag of Doritos or pack of Oreos.

Lol. Why does that face look just like you though?

Ooh u got jokes, that's cute Smurfette.

Smurfette? Let's not do this today Goliath.

I shook my head and chuckled as the elevator reached the lower level, then got off. The pause between our messages gave me enough time to grab a few snacks from the machines, but instead of heading right back to the studio we had booked, I decided to chill for a bit and give Riley a call. If I was correct, she was leaving out for her lunch break which explains why she had been messaging me in the first place. Spotting an empty spot on a couch in the seating area of the lobby, I sat down and dialed her number. Two rings in and her mellow voice was grazing my ears.

"Goliath, you trying to get me fired?"

"Man hush all that up. You're on your lunch break and stop with all that blasphemy, woman. It's raining today and I ain't tryna get struck by lightning and sent to hell with you." She giggled softly as I heard some slight movement in the background interlacing with her voice.

"Oh wouldn't you love to be eternally lit with me. That's your dream."

"Nah, baby girl you're wrong. Where you going for lunch today?" The rain outside was pretty heavy and was hitting the glass of this building like hail. Where ever she was going wouldn't be too far, and I didn't blame her. New Yorkers were so used to this shit, and you would think with her residing here for some time now she would be too. Nope! Riley would hide in her apartment all day if she could just to avoid water from touching her hair, but work called so she learned to love it as well as this big ass polka dot umbrella she bought one day. That thing comes in handy though, especially for a guy of my height.

"I'm thinking Subway," She answered as a matter of fact. "It's down the street and that sweet old man Kumar is working today. That means I can get my free cookies!" I chuckled at the excitement in her voice.

"Those shits are nasty man," I mumbled, hearing a dramatic gasp immediately follow.

"Okay, but get fought on sight when I see you for disrespecting Subway's greatest creation." She threatened.

"And I'mma fight you if I see you later and your breath smells like tuna and chocolate. You need to choose a different sandwich this time."

"So what do you suggest then, rudeness?" If I was right, Riley had her lips curled up in amusement and her arms folded across her chest as she awaited my suggestion.

"Aight, so look. First you get some hearty Italian bread, put some provolone cheese on it then ask them to toast it for 45 seconds, nothing more nothing less." I listed as she remained mute, hopefully making a mental note. "Once it's done tell them you want meatballs, add some oregano and you're done."

"Lamarr, that has to be the most sloppiest and basic ass sandwich I have ever heard of."

"Aye! You asked and it's good as fuck," I tittered as she mocked me under her breath. "Just try it. If you don't like it then I'll refund you your five dollars back for another foot long."

"Alright, fine." Riley muttered, sealing our deal. "Put your money where your mouth is, baby boy."

The line fell silent for a prolonged minute turned into five, but I assumed it was because she was walking to her destination and the rain would only add extra noise to the conversation. That and the blaring traffic in the background. As soon as I heard a bell ring paired with several greetings though I knew she had finally made it to Subway safely.

Can you believe this girl kept me on the line the entire time? Riley spoke to every single person who worked in the restaurant, stirring up random conversations and I could tell from how fluent and easygoing they all were that everyone knew her well and were happy to see her back. That still didn't mean I was interested in hearing it all. My body slumped back into the couch as I began staring out the window next to me, listening as Riley then went on to order her meatball sandwich. That was when the sun started to peak out of the grim clouds but the rain still held its force, never letting up.

"Isn't is beautiful?" She questioned lowly. Riley must have been admiring the random appearance as well. Once the bell of the Subway door rang again I knew she was now on her way out and probably getting a better view of the scenery.

"Yeah it is," I muttered. "We meeting up tonight, right?"

"Yep, Halal Guys?"

"On 53rd and 6th."

"I got you, love. I need to get going though, have to try and eat this sloppy sub in the next twenty minutes without messing up my blouse." She tittered as I found myself smiling knowingly. That accident has happened to me more than once. "I'll call you when I get off though."

"I'll hold you to that. Talk to you later, Smurfette."

"Later," I ended the call then slid my Blackberry into my pocket. At this point I still wasn't ready to go back up to the studio, but I knew if I wasted anymore time the conversation that was happening before I left would get even more intense. I swear them niggas were keeping tabs on my whereabouts now only so they could come back later and use that shit against me. I was looking like a one man team right about now. Even still I shrugged off my thoughts and got up to head back upstairs anyways.

Before I could even get off the elevator good, Ib was in the hallway pacing back and forth. I'm assuming he was looking for me or was tired of the commotion in the room behind him as well. Either way, his swift movement was starting to make me uncomfortable. I cleared my throat before taking a bite from one of my cookies and stared at him as he stopped and glanced over at me frantically.

"Yo, I was looking for you," He exclaimed. "Mark Pitts is on the other line, he wants to talk to you about opening up for The Blueprint 3 leg in Canada."'

"What?" I quickly patted my chest, damn near choking on my Oreos.

Mark had already told me I could take about a week break before I finished up the rest of the tour with Jay-Z in November. There was an understanding between him and Jay about what shows I would perform on, but now he was calling last minute about coming to Canada? Not that I wasn't grateful for the opportunity or anything. I mean, I could def. use some promotion across the border, but I also would have liked to catch up on some sleep. Constant touring is pretty fuckin' exhausting and my set every night wasn't even that long.

"Nigga you heard right. The first show is on the 29th, that's tomorrow but they want you there for the last two shows in T. Dot and Ottawa. That means we gotta fly out there soon. I need an answer though, this man been on the line for too long fam."

"Y-yeah," I cleared my throat again, stuttering over my words a bit before nodding. "Yeah tell him we got it." Ib agreed and walked down the hallway as he continued his conversation with Mark.

Fuck.

This meant I had to do some last minute packing, which I hated, and drink that nasty ass homemade honey tea Camille forces me to drink. My voice was becoming hoarse with this horrible weather and from continuous performing, but it was too late to turn back now. I would just have to suck that shit up and deal with it.

This year had been filled with nothing but blessings and now the start of tours. After so many restless nights and moments where I contemplated giving up, I had finally got signed. On top of that I was beginning to build a tight knit fan base and I dropped my second mixtape this summer only to now accompany my boss, the G.O.A.T., on tour. I couldn't ask for anything more than that, but this all meant one thing. I was going to have to work even harder to keep it. While realizing that I also noted I would probably lose a bit of my sanity in it all, but luckily I had my people around who had been there since my lint pocket days. They knew the struggle and would make sure I ain't fuck around and get those days back.

The feeling of all of this was more than overwhelming, but incredible at the same time. I just wanted the people to hear what I felt in my heart and relate to it. Not many rappers were taking the authentic route now a days, but I figured being true to myself was best and might put me to an advantage. And boy did it.

After Ib finished on the phone we both walked into the studio and got right back to work. My time to relax was never really for that, it was just a moment for me to think about my next chess move. I was now in the process of producing for what would hopefully be my first album and recording some features for a few artist who were fuckin' with me heavy. The day was still early so I needed to use this time wisely and that meant no more discussion of Riley.

                              ------------------------

"When are you going to pay for all these damn parking tickets, Lamarr?" Since she insisted on going home to change first, I ended up picking Riley up instead of just meeting her. She hadn't even put her seat belt on yet and was already complaining about something.

I handled Riley's mouth pretty well most of the time, I was good with sarcasm and comebacks just as much as she was. But it had been a while since the last time I saw her up close and personal due to my music taking off, so the last thing I wanted was to be greeted with her complaints.

"When I get paid for this damn tour. Yo, why you in my glove compartment anyways?" I grilled, glancing over at her as rolled her eyes.

"Because, when I got in and hit my knee on it, the door popped open and boom, your tickets fell out. I'll be happy when they give you a check too though. You need a new car love," She locked her belt into place and chuckled at her jabs as I side eyed her.

"You criticize me about not paying my tickets, then you diss my car? What ever happened to a hello? How are you? You tired, Cole? Want your back rubbed or maybe a foot massage?" Biting my lip wasn't doing a great job from stopping my laughter. The contorted expression on her face was priceless and beyond entertaining to me; but this was like us. Throwing insults in the lightest forms as possible, then laughing it off - and I missed it.

"Negro, do I look like your woman? You won't be getting anything other than a how are you from me. Besides, you'd think you would have learned from the last time you got pulled over. Remember the story you told me? Riding dirty in NYC with an expired license," She pressed on. "Now you got a bundle of almost a year old tickets. They're going to tow your car, Mr. Cole."

"Nah they not, I got my ways to working around the system."

"And how's that going for you?" Riley asked with her lips pursed up.

"Great Smurfette,"

"Ugh, here you go." We both laughed as I headed over to our favorite food stand.

It had become a ritual to go to Halal Guys whenever we had a chance to, and just sit on the hood of my Honda Civic and talk. With my work load building up almost every day I needed this release from reality and the car ride was just the start of that. All we did was rap along to some old ass Rakim album I had in circulation.

After a few months of getting to know Riley I found out she wasn't that much of a new school rap listener, but she loved some old school rap and Rakim happened to be one of her favorites. I happened to grow up on Eric B and Rakim, they were some of the only rappers my moms let me and my brother listen to. So when Paid in Full came on, all hell broke loose.

"Thinking of a master plan, 'cause ain't nothing but sweat inside my hand. So I dig into my pocket all my money is spent so I dig deeper but still coming up with lint. So I start my mission, leave my residence thinking how could I get some dead presidents? I need money! I used to be a stick-up kid so I think of all the devious things I did." I nodded my head to the beat as Riley kept reciting the verse word for word, making sure to enunciate everything perfectly while adding her feminine touch to it. I smirked at her as she kept going, not even paying attention to me. This girl was in her own world. "I used to roll up, this is a hold up. Ain't nothing funny stop smiling, be still, don't nothing move but the money. But now I learned to earn 'cause I'm righteous. I feel great, so maybe I might just. Search for a nine to five, if I strive, then maybe I'll stay alive..."

She finally stopped in the middle of the verse and looked over at me bashfully, before burying her head in her hands.

"You were feeling that, huh? Sure you don't wanna be a rapper? I could use a hype man."

"Oh my gosh, shut up," She glanced up at me and shook her head before turning down the radio some. "My dad used to play this song out when I was younger. It's literally embedded in my brain and blood."

"I can see that," I said, smiling at her as I pulled up a few feet away from the curb and took my keys out the ignition. "You know he's dropping an album in a few weeks, right?"

"No way! I have to buy it. Rakim is a legend to me, like Lil Wayne who? These kids today don't even know what they're missing out on."

"You sound like an old woman right now." I teased, although she actually did.

"Hey