[Melanie – August 2011]

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to Chicago Midway International Airport! The local time is eleven thirty-seven a.m. and the temperature seems to be a seventy-two degrees, joined with some sunshine and a slight chance of rain. For your safety and comfort please remain seated with your seat belt fastened until the captain turns off that little bitty fastened seat belt sign above you. Please check around your seat for any personal belongings you may have brought on board with you and please use caution when opening the overhead bins, as heavy articles may have shifted around during the flight.

"On behalf of Delta Air Lines and the entire crew, I'd like to thank you for joining us on this trip and we are looking forward to seeing you on board again in the near future. Have a nice stay and enjoy the Windy City!" I repeated the flight attendant's landing announcement word for word as if I had wrote the welcoming phrases myself. This was physical evidence of the numerous times I had soared across the sometimes luminous, other times hazy skies of both cities; that and the carry-on I seemed to never unpack of my occupational necessities. The leather duffle held everything including a hoard of headache inducing manilla folders that were decorated with post it notes and permanently stained with last minute annotations from meetings. Those rested aside my business only laptop that remained fully charged at all times, and an endless list of other important charms that helped me make or break my father's precious deals. That expensive ass Guccissima carry-on duffle held the source of all my stress, the unit alone was a reward of my hard work but was also a symbol of my failures.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that my relationship with Lamarr was encountering some rough patches. Every time I boarded a plane or rested aside my phone as he boarded his own, I could feel the distance. It was no longer in the flesh but an alter in our connection, the way we bonded and spoke to each other. The closeness between us was slowly diminishing into an air of uncertainty that had created itself throughout all of our lack of. It was the uncertainty of what was next if neither of us found a way to work around our schedules and find time for each other. We needed to make us a priority again and rekindle the love that had manifested in our relationship when we were both young and naïve. Those years didn't seem too long gone which gave me hope that the launch of our careers was just a test, something that was a minor and temporary setback. I had faith we would be just fine.

As the plane finally settled onto the runway and edged closer to the entrance of the gate, positivity was the only thing that I allowed to reign over me. That was toward the thoughts of Lamarr, this visit I was dreading and every other worry that nested in my head. Once the plane froze in motion and the doors were unlocked for us all to leave, that's when I took in a deep breath and gathered myself for what I felt in the pit of my stomach to be a long week ahead of me. 

"When is your departure flight, Mellie?" My eyes fluttered open hearing the heavy accent of my favorite attendant Joselyn, a pleasant middle aged woman who befriended me after taking note of my frequent appearances. Each time we crossed paths she'd ask how long my stay was and what was on my agenda this time around; that was her way of digging deeper into my life that I would subtly disclose to her some days. Other days she'd share with me, the woman was an open book whose presence made my experiences back and forth worthwhile. She was Delta Air Lines angel in the sky, and quite literally.

"I was able to get a ticket for Thursday morning," I answered back as she opened the overhead to retract my bag. "I could've got that Josie."

"But I got it instead. You always look exhausted when I see you. Mellie just spend one of your days resting and enjoying the scenery, why don't you?" Joselyn chided, placing my bag down into the aisle as I got up and stretched my arms, giving her a dismissive shake of the head.

"I wish I could, but my father literally has me booked doing something every day." She frowned as I grabbed the straps of my bag and slid them down to my wrist. "I'm surprised I don't have to be anywhere until noon tomorrow unlike the eight o' clock summits from hell I'm so lucky to usually get. I'll be fine though, don't worry about me."

"Sure you will. At least have a drink or two, I'm sure you'll need it."

"Now that I can agree to, I might actually need six." The two of us shared a chuckle while falling into the line of people that led into the airport.

Joselyn always did this, she made sure I was fine and had all my belongings before I was too far from the gate and in her words, left to fend for myself. She talked as if this place was a monster that would swallow you whole or as if I was a child, and instead of ignoring it I took her actions towards me as something deeper. Joselyn was the only person noting the toll this career of mine was taking on me. I wanted it but not at these stakes anymore, and the sad thing about all of this was that it was only the beginning. What would my life be like when I moved higher to where I always aspired to be? Now that positivity was wavering a bit.

"Have a good one, Josie." I waved back at her as she offered a warm smile that I always depended on.

"You too Melanie, and take a break!"

"Not in this lifetime." I stated with a smile but we both knew it was the truth.

With one look away I began my routine path down several moving walkways that glided past all the other concourses flooded with people looking to escape. In between were the assortment of sandwich shops, pizzerias, and dessert parlors that were arousing the rumbling within my stomach. It was becoming difficult every second a scent of some sort grazed my nose to not stop and grab a snack that would hold me over, but I was trying to beat the crowd. Like everyone else in this vicinity we all had somewhere to be. That's why you could look around and capture one person speed walking ignoring all human activity around them, while others cut in between traffic with a phone attached to their hands as if twenty four hours in a day didn't exist. Then there were the people like myself, we were in a rush but not to any of those extents.

Besides, after a calculated ten minutes I was at baggage claim, waiting for carousel six to load just as many of those same people ripping and running were doing. Out of the entire airport experience, waiting to see if your luggage had arrived in once piece was the worst. I never seemed to have the good fortune of others, instead I had I always ended up at someone's office looking for an explanation behind my missing belongings. Today though as my eyes circled and searched, I was granted that luck and snatched my suitcase up with a quickness before moving along. So far this trip was granting me nothing but good and I was sure now that the rest would.

"Melanie Harris, is that you?" Was the question I heard from a baritone voice just feet behind me, and even if the pair of names together were common, I knew at this moment they belonged to me. I stopped in my trail and turned around to see Damon standing behind, lugging his backpack over his shoulder with a smug grin on his face. It wasn't the first thing to catch my attention but definitely was what had me smiling back and finally finding the voice to respond back.

"It is I, the one and only." he began making his way closer, dragging his own suitcase behind him as I waited in the fog of others. It was refreshing to see him, or anyone I knew for that matter. Most times when I flew in here I longed for some company during my down time, and as of the last few I got Damon. The first run in was a quite literal one, where the two of us stood at a baggage carousel and reached for the same bag but instead bumped heads. It was then and after the fourth reunion I realized we both had a lot in common, and he was someone I officially considered a friend. Neither of us kept up with when the other would be in Chicago, but whenever we had these kind of coincidences, we immediately connected again.

"It sure is," he murmured. "It never ceases to amaze me how we're literally tied to each other by a damn airport. You do realize every time we encounter it's here?"

"That's not entirely true," I argued, continuing my path toward the automatic doors near the exit sign, and Damon joined beside me as I proceeded on with my explanation. "We bond and have our deepest conversations at other places, most of the time we're at some restaurant. Right?"

"I guess that's true," he said as the doors opened and we both walked out in search of transportation of some sort. "Where you staying at this time around?"

"The W, and not the one on Lakeshore Drive. I know that's close to your parent's house, isn't it?"

"Somewhat, they stay in Hyde Park. The neighborhood is right off the lake but further south. I'm actually headed there now unless you tell me you're free for the next...say, two hours?" He glanced over at me as I caught drag of his question, and raised his brow.

"My check in actually isn't until two so I have time. You want to grab some food, please say yes because I'm starving!" I admitted, causing us both to chuckle.

"That's fine with me, Here," he uttered while walking closer to the curb, flawlessly hailing a cab. "We can just ride together to Grand Lux Café. You ever been there?" I shook my head and watched as he opened the white and blue painted door, tagged with the word Flash across it.

"Not that I recall. Are they any good?"

"They're one of the best places in the city but that's based solely off my opinion only." 

That was the easiest way of saying only the food he had tasted was appetizing, and to proceed with caution when it came to the rest. A quick glance over their online menu before we got there wouldn't hurt. In fact it was more than helpful since the list of dishes they prepared exceeded twenty, reminding me a lot of The Cheesecake Factory's menu. Damon sat beside me the entire ride there, laughing at the idea I had of preordering before I actually ordered. He claimed it was something only I would do, which was true because whenever it came to a new restaurant I always chose what I wanted before I even sat down at the table. That way I didn't hold up the server and the waiting process we all loathed.

What would hold us up instead on this very day was me admiring the busy traffic herding the sidewalks and streets of Michigan Avenue. Even at eleven something morning time there were still women stomping their heels up the concrete, holding their most expensive purses over their shoulder as they went into one of the designer stores just feet away to buy another. There were men swinging their briefcases while tugging on their ties, indicators of heading to work, while others took pictures of the buildings, and kids ran amidst it all without a care. It was parallel to New York, a place I was used to but there was still space here for me. Sometimes in NYC I get smothered and at times I don't even feel like I exist, but in Chicago there was still a place for me to fit in and feel alive. I could see myself living here and the more I visited I wanted to be here...permanently.

"Mel, I paid for the cab so we can get out now." I heard Damon whisper as he leaned in toward me, seeking whatever it was my eyes held on to outside of the window. After another second of soaking in the action, I got out and grabbed my luggage from the trunk as he did the same. It was almost effortless trailing from there and inside, where a hostess immediately seated us at a table on an upper level, right aside a window that would allow me to continue daydreaming.

"So your father brings you here or is this an abrupt runaway from priorities for the time being?" Damon cut right to the chase, even though he knew what would be the response. 

We both recognized that even though I complained about everything erroneous currently happening, I wouldn't do much to change it. Well at least not now. I had a bad habit of ignoring the bad unless is slapped me in the face, and I'd just coast by and settle. Among that I kept an open mind filled with hope, but Damon believed that would do nothing but disappoint if I didn't implement some action.

"I wish he wasn't plus we both know that the word vacation doesn't exist in my vocabulary. Chicago however is my reverie, even when I'm buried in stress while I'm here, I still sit in a trance and dream. I love it here, Dame. Might even move here."

"And will Lamarr be here with you too?"

"I haven't thought that far. He's doing so well with his music and it's all rooted on the east coast. I'll leave that discussion for later and worry about trying to keep us strong while we're literally separated by our careers at this moment. This is harder than I had assumed it would be. "

"I can understand that, and I bet it is tougher but most relationships go through something threatening every once in a while. I'm sure you can work through it, you all work through everything else. It's a lot to think about and plan for but you all got it."

"A lot isn't even the word," I mumbled, as our waiter placed two glasses of water down before stating she would give us a moment to look over the menu. "But speaking of my father, I'm almost sure he doesn't plan on cutting me any slack though because for one, I'm his child, and the other being I seem to be the only competent person who knows how to negotiate business."

"You sure about that? His company had to be staying afloat with competent people before you got there. Maybe he's just pushing you because as you said, you're his child and because this has been something you've always wanted, right? He's testing how much you want it compared to how much you say you want it. At the end, you'll be at the top and probably the highest paid person in that company," he assured. "When he's tired of it he might even hand it over to you. Can we say CEO?"

"That sounds great in the grand scheme of things, but I'm looking as far as this week and I'm nowhere near a CEO. How is everything for you though? You here cause you're tired of the Big Apple too?" Damon placed his menu aside, leaning back into his chair as he hesitated to switch angles of this conversation. Whenever we chatted he worried about me and focused on me, when I noticed he had just as many problems as I did.

"Everything is stagnant as usual. I even started to fill out an application for graduate school because what the hell else am I doing? I'm dropping mixtapes every chance that I can, I'm producing while barely surviving, and now I'm wondering is this music shit even for me anymore? Was it ever?"

"I'll put it as simple as this," I spoke calmly, inching forward onto the table. "They don't call you Omen for nothing. So that means you can enroll in graduate school all you want, but you still need to be a lyricist on the side. Keep music your main priority and it will happen in due time Damon, trust me on that."

"You keep my word and I'll keep yours." he suggested and I nodded in agreement, lending him a heartening smile that sealed our deal. "I came to get away like you should be doing, and see my parents. I also came to check on my aunt and uncle while I'm here. My cousin and uncle aren't speaking either, so I'm kind of playing the mediator and the line of communication for those two."

"Aren't you always?" I wondered with a smidge of amusement in my voice. Damon was that person who always tried to keep the peace. He tried to remain neutral and instead of causing a problem, he found a way to help resolve it. So this role of the 'middle man' was predictable. "Why aren't they speaking, if you don't mind me asking?"

"You can leave that one to Riley. She experiences these moods now since she's having a hard time getting things together with her career. I guess they were having a conversation about how things were going and she disagreed with what he had to advise. Now they're both acting like two big ass kids,"  he swore, finding humor to laugh at in his statement. "Those two, they're tight for the most part; she's a daddy's girl, only child at that. So they'll get over it soon, it's only been two weeks. By next week it'll blow over."

"She sounds just like me." I conceded faintly, taking a gulp of my water. "Why haven't you ever introduced us? We seem like we would get along from the little details you've shared about her."

"I figured you already met her." he said, shrugging casually.

"How could I when you've never introduced us, negro. She's almost like this figment of my imagination." I teased, spotting the waiter making her second round to our table. Damon's eyes feasted away at the activity below us, he was finding excitement in the back and forth sweeping of automobiles I presumed. The longer he stared into the distance the more his voice seemed to have loitered off.

"I just figured Lamarr introduced you all at some point, so I didn't really need to." 

"Why would Lamarr be the one to introduce us and not you?" Damon shook his head, trying to disregard the heap of inquiries that had already created themselves in this sudden heat. "Can you explain why he would be the one to introduce us or not?"

"Melanie, there's nothing to explain. Forget I even said that."

"Then why are you sitting across from me with this dumb look on your face like I just caught you in a lie?" I pressed on, leaning forward to catch the attention of his eyes as they wandered off once again. "What is it?" I demanded loudly. No glance around the room was needed for us to see that I had gathered an audience.

"They're just close, that's all."

"Close as in what? Close implies intimacy, and intimacy can go as far as sharing feelings and thoughts all the way to sharing body parts. So which is it?"

"Close friends Mel, they're cool." he breathed out heavily, and it was then when my mind went on an eternal spin of destructive thoughts. The adamancy he maintained was bothering me because Damon never held back. Between us, when he had something to say he said it and regardless if it was rude or not. So this new and unexpected approach of avoiding my questions was troubling me.

"Are you..." my voice was quickly beginning to hold power all formed by my anger. My next words stammered out forcefully, trying their best to drag more out of Damon. "Are you insinuating that your cousin is fucking my man?"

"Dammit Melanie, no. That's not what I meant at all. I said that they were friends that talk and hang out like friends do. That's all I can assume from how attached they are."

"Attached?"

Damon sighed then mumbled. "That might not have been the best word to use."

"You fucking think?" I tested sarcastically, feeling a bitter chuckle creep up my throat.

It was all starting to make sense, this gut instinct I always got when Lamarr and I were apart. Sure he worked a lot, traveling and recording in the studio but there was always this enigmatic