[Riley]

This repetitive pounding in my head, I wanted it to disappear and I needed it to do it fast. I was feeling like I was at the peak of a hangover that was creating so much disorientation and faultlessly clouding my vision. It was making it difficult for me to recover from the heavy feeling my body held while I slowly sat up from the damp sheets of what I presumed to be my bed.

Everything at this moment was a blur: the coloring of the room, the time of day it currently was and more notably, everything that had gotten me to this moment. Nothing was relaying back to my memory as it normally would have, which leads me to believe that at some point I blacked out and this was the aftermath. I hated to make this assumption but it was the only practicality and thing in general coming to my mind. To add to this maze I found myself in, the vibrations from my phone somewhere nearby were irritating my heightened senses. I really just wanted all of this to cease and if I could just gain some composure, they would.

"My God," I shrieked, but like a slap in the face my cry for help came out in a whisper. Maybe he would still hear it and answer since only he knew the suffering I was experiencing.

The burdensome sandbag feeling in my eyes were keeping them from opening entirely, but they did enough for me to glance around and grab what I hoped was the object aiding all my discomfort. There was a bit of a struggle since, to my surprise, there were a few things resting on my night stand. The first one I snatched wasn't even my phone but it was just like it. The same style, size but the messages that glowed from the screen the moment my finger managed to press the home button, and make out what was there belonged to Lamarr. That's when reality set in, what happened last night was flooding my mind quickly and it was becoming too much to bare at once.

"Why are you here?" I asked with a swift tug of the bottom of the gaping t-shirt that was damn near swallowing my body.

"I wanted to talk. Just hear me out , aight?"

"You want to talk? Okay then, where do you want to start?" I replied back mockingly. "Maybe we can start by discussing what you should do with your hair? I'm sure Melanie would hate to look back and see her two-faced ass husband with nappy hair ruining her photos. Oh wait, let's talk about how exactly you proposed to her. I'm sure you on one knee fabricating your feelings and need to make her your wife was a sight to see."

"Davina."

"Didn't I tell you earlier to call me Riley? That's one of your problems now, you don't listen."

The frustration that was now overwhelming Lamarr could be felt in the small limits of the doorway. He was trying his best to contain himself with a restless sigh and the clench in his eyes as he closed them. It was bothering him that the last thing I wanted to do was talk and that I wasn't going to cut him any kind of slack. There was so much Lamarr and any man with his bad habits could get away with if you let them. I had done it even without intentionally trying to, but it had to end here. 

"Speak up Cole!" I shouted, turning on my heels to walk back into my apartment. There was still a half of bottle of wine somewhere between the path of my kitchen and bedroom, and I needed to drink it all if I was going to entertain this man and civilly. Lamarr however remained where he was, silently adorning the entrance of my door way too long for someone who had something important to say and prove. I'm sure he was probably contemplating if he should follow me.

"Or are you going to stand there and look stupid?" I threatened, hoping maybe he'd see how foolish his plan to come here actually was.

"Riley, I need you to cut a little bit of the sarcasm first. This won't work if you're taking shots at me the entire time."

"You haven't seen me take shots or jabs at you yet. I could physically do it too, so watch what you say and how you say it." Once I turned around in the middle of my kitchen, Lamarr's presence directly behind me nearly made my heart drop. I surprisingly hadn't heard the heavy echo of his Timberland boots trailing after me and over his voice that was competing with my own.

"And could you back up or I'll really have to punch you in the throat for scaring the shit out of me in my own home!"

"I don't want to do this arguing with you, Riley." he said solemnly. "I understand that you're pissed at me. I know it's easier to be complete assholes and yell at each other in this kind of predicament, but if I haven't learned anything else in my life I've learned that none of that resolves problems. It just makes it worse, and don't try to not talk to me either because that's just as bad. I swear, after I say what I have to say you can do whatever you want with me. I can only hope you'll consider not disposing of me."

"Alright Shakespeare, can you get to the point?" Lamarr let out another sigh that then turned into a faint chuckle.

He was still very much flustered by my approach. It might have been easier for him to see me crying, that way he could calm me with a few tender words that would win me over. Even seeing me ignore him as he argued against might have been easier to manage because then he'd know what he needed to do in order to have me vulnerable again. This layer of Riley though, the aggressive one that showcased my smart mouth and cold exterior was one he rarely saw in the past, but when he did it never failed to be a challenge. Somehow, after much effort he'd eventually find a way through to me. The task was one he didn't like to tackle though, simply because it was polar to what he was used to and preferred the most; the sweet layer of me that was open and had a caring heart. The layer that unwittingly let him walk over me.

"I fucked up, okay? I fucked up in the past and I've been fuckin' up ever since the moment I decided to hide shit from you and Melanie. I don't have any excuses either, and this may sound like one but it's not. In the past the only reason I hid you all from each other is because I knew how wrong it was to be falling in love with a girl who wasn't my girlfriend. I was with Mel since I was a good nineteen and she wouldn't have saw me leaving her for someone else coming. It would've killed her and I didn't know how to handle that, so instead I let it handle itself. That just led up to me losing you and I regret the shit till this day , Riley. As far as hiding my engagement, I'll admit, I did it because I'm a dumb ass nigga. It should've been the first thing I told you when I saw you in that therapist office. That was the perfect time to tell you that I was there with my fiancé and for premarital counseling."

"So basically your relationship with her is fucked up too?" I asked before grabbing a fresh wine glass from the counter top next to me.

"Yeah, yeah it is. There's a lot to why we're there an-"

"And I'd rather not hear why."

"Aight," he gave up with a nod. "Just know, you're part of that reason, Riley."

"No, see you made me part of that reason and I didn't ask you to. I have nothing to do with what goes on between you two or what is to happen between you two." I shot back while grasping a brand new bottle that was in the cabinet underneath. I then cracked it open and poured enough for my cravings as Lamarr kept his distance, eyeing me carefully with his hands stuffed into his hoodie.

"You're right, I did. I made the choice for you and I'm sorry. I guess you're right about me being selfish too. A lot of moments I don't give a shit about anyone but myself. "

"You don't." I agreed while taking a large sip of my drink. 

The initial three glasses I had indulged in before Lamarr interrupted were kicking back in. That relaxing feeling was taking over my body again, a feeling that was calming my animosity and now dead urge to pitch this bottle at Lamarr's head. As he continued on, rambling about how he in fact did still care about me and how it ate at him every day that he fucked 'us' up, I replaced each sip with a few more drops of the red liquor and rested against the counter. That hidden anger within me was slowly fading, and at some point so were most of the things Lamarr was revealing to me. My rationality was still rather clear but everything around me seemed distant, maybe even fuzzy. However, as every minute passed the alcohol that was coating my veins enmeshed with another set of wild and concealed emotions were beginning to have me just about done for.

"Lamarr..." I slurred as he moved to lean against the counter across from me.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stop talking?"

"Really Riley? I thought that what's you wanted me to do, now you want me to shut up?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I want you to do. I get it, okay? You've fucked up several times, you'll probably keep fucking up too. You're sorry... you're really sorry," I admitted with a weak laugh. "You're engaged and there's nothing about that I can change and I won't try to because you all are clearly working out your problems, which is great. After a while I stopped listening to you but I heard every fucked up piece of your confession that mentioned you still caring about me and regretting everything that led up to how your life is now. This is all your fault, I get it, I guess you get it, and I'm really tired of hearing that it is. Just fix the shit, Lamarr. Jesus, do better but just stop talking about it."

Lamarr's stare on me never let up and neither did the frown on his face. He was confused and I was proud that I had sent him through a whirlwind of emotions just as he always does with me.

"Here," I uttered while holding up the last empty glass beside me. "Have a drink."

With some hesitation, Lamarr took it from my grip before I grabbed the bottle and moved closer to fill his cup. For some odd reason after I sat the bottle down, we both took a gulp of our drinks in chorus as our eyes stayed locked on each other's. It was almost like we were playing some kind of game and the goal was to see who could keep the best eye on the other opponent, or better yet peep which one of us was really bullshitting. In my head though this was all a game. It was a dangerous one that had no set of rules and was easy to fail, it was one I was clearly ready to risk it all for. 

The longer we stood there, emptying our glasses with every swallow taken, I began recognizing just how perfect red wine could be. It released a tranquility over any drinker's body, similar if not exact to the one I was undergoing now. I was also noticing how much of an aphrodisiac it could be too. Aside from the taste, the aroma was doing something to my being. It was tingling my insides and arousing parts of my body that shouldn't have been in this instant. It didn't help much that for so long I've always wanted to know what Lamarr felt like beyond a kiss and from the look on his face now and a many of other times, he wanted to know the same with me. I was fully aware of what was about to happen, although the moment crept up on me before I could blink my eyes good. I might eventually regret it, but as of now I was going to relish all that played out before it ended.

Lamarr had sat his glass down and eased his body up against my own, pinning me even closer to the counter top I was resting on. I could now hear his heartbeat as it pounded in his chest, claiming him to be more nervous that I was as of now. His breathing thickened while his warm breath laced with the scent of blackberries and plums from the Merlot we shared, tickled the skin along my face. My hand took on a mind of its own, inching up his side finally coming to its finish mark to clasp his cheek and pull him all the way down to my face. Our lips reunited for what seemed like forever and amazingly, they never missed a beat. Intertwined together they both nipped and sucked at the flesh of the other while Lamarr's lanky arm wrapped itself around my waist and elevated my body up.

My legs automatically knew where they wanted to be and that was locked around his waist, squeezing their grip tighter just to feel the hard print starting to bulge from his jeans. Our lips never let up on each other and instead deepened, even as he managed to move us both from the cold air of the kitchen to the warmth and cozier atmosphere of my bedroom. Moans were dripping from my mouth as he laid me down onto the bed and we both pulled away only for Lamarr's pink and now swollen lips to begin to graze the brown skin coating my neck. While the sexual awakening boiling inside my body had me tampering with the naps gracing Lamarr's head, he made sure to take his time with me. Allowing his tongue to taste and his lips to suck and create a trail of red marks and moisture down to my chest. From there we were both yearning for more. I was tired of feeling the dampness of his hoodie on my skin and he was tired of tortuously feeling the succulence soaking my panties.

"Take this off." I demanded with a yank on his hoodie. Lamarr leaned up from my chest and complied, coaxing me to take off the only garment I was wearing. In one swift second both our torsos were bare but the exposure of my own ignited something in Lamarr. There was a sudden change in his eyes, something different that I had never witnessed with his intense gazes. This one exerted all his raging passion, a fire that I knew we had for each other for some time but not to this extent. His eyes were just the beginning of him releasing all that pint up sexual frustration, that need and want for me, and I knew this because I felt it all too. The way he began to trace those same wet kisses down my chest to between my thighs, and the way I whimpered out from just his petting and squeezing of my curves proved it.

A shiver from the cool touch of Lamarr's hand raced throughout my body the moment he ripped away my panties and gently parted my sensitive lips below for his satisfaction. I was anticipating his touch again, not from his hands but instead from his mouth and he could tell from the way I continued to drip. Just the thought of this fantasy was driving me crazy, and Lamarr made sure it came true with a slow brush of his tongue against my clit. This man's tongue was a masterstroke. It began flicking, rolling and swirling its way around my swollen nub and it was done with such poise; no rushing what so ever. Every inch, crevice and crease was showered with nothing but care, and my walls were nothing less than drenched while he did it. As the buildup in my core began to stir, his tongue moved on and slid its way inside me. His lips were covering mine and slowly suctioned away while his tongue created its own unique shapes along my walls.

"Oh my god!" I yelped out, and in response I could feel the sensations of his humming against my skin that only increased my libido. It had my legs trembling and that same buildup, that urgency to let go was rising. Lamarr noticed and before he could let me relish my first orgasm, his mouth was parting ways with my heated love. He then hovered over me and leaned down enough to kiss my lips, allowing me to taste myself against his tongue, and enjoy what he once was. I was reveling in everything he was doing to me and everything my body was facing, but I needed to take control.

"Lay down," I barely articulated, trying to calm my body as it convulsed under him. "I want to do this."

"You sure?" I nodded then gradually sat up as he laid beside me. I was completely heedless of his questioning just as I was oblivious to what he was working with in his pants. I could have been setting myself up and he knew I would have, but it didn't matter. All I knew was that I needed to have him the way I had always imagined and that was me on top giving him everything I could.

His jeans were coming off, his boxer briefs were lowered and here I was, lifting my hips up and hovering my body over his stiff length. The more I slowly lowered myself, the sooner we eventually united, and the gasp we released in accord was what tied us together this night. Neither of us could hold in the many grunts and moans we had been wanting to let out for years now. It was just something about the gyration of my hips against his or the fact that every time I contracted my soaking walls around his pulsating length, Lamarr would close his eyes and tug on his bottom lip. His hands would squeeze my thighs and ass tighter, and the momentum we were riding on would hike. Neither of us knew how long it would be before both our bodies erupted but just as long as we took our time until they did, it didn't matter.

My whimpering was music to his ears and all Lamarr needed to finally lift himself up from the bed and pull my body closer. I could feel his lips kissing away at my breasts, our bodies moving wildly in sync with each other while my peak approached. The tingling in the pit of my stomach was just the start of my orgasm and one I had never ever felt before. It was powerful enough to have my head falling back from its lightness, my eyes tightened to avoid the stars randomly appearing in them, and more than anything the stray tear that fell from my eye. Once we both finished together all there was left to do was rest in the comfort of our sweat. His head against my chest, mines on top of his while our breathing simmered.

"You're amazing." he exhaled.

That was the last coherent utter I heard and that lingered in my mind up until we both fell asleep and ended up here. Lamarr was lying beside me, wrapped up in the sheets of my bed just as I once was. He was still sound asleep, his snoring clashing with the other sounds that can't be avoided in silence. His phone was still glued to the palm of my hand because I couldn't find in it me to put it down. It was the recollection that had my amnesia quickly fading the more I looked around and saw bits and pieces of his clothing. It was the flashback that had me in an ounce of shock from it actually happening, and now guilt. He was still with Melanie and I was so stupid, such an idiot, to take advantage of the moment when she was still there. She would probably always be there.

Speaking of her, that was the name now flashing across Lamarr's screen while the vibrations from my own phone went off simultaneously. That was enough to bring me out of my somewhat deep thoughts and back to what I was originally doing. 

Placing his phone down, I picked up my own and was greeted with over eight missed calls from Leslie along with the five text messages that were pending before the one she had just sent. It reminded me of the favor I requested from her; to check on me last night. It was now nearing the afternoon hours of the following day and I was sure that she would be pissed once I finally and quietly eased my sore body from my bed and dismissed myself from my bedroom to call her.

"Bitch! What happened to you? Are you okay? Don't you ever ignore my calls and especially after your ass begged me to do it. Okay? Ever!" Leslie's scolding shouldn't have had me laughing to myself but it was amusing how she was concerned yet pissed all in one.

"Alright mom, I apologize and I promise I won't do it again. If you should know though, I am fine. There is no need to be worried."

"Your lying ass. Where the hell did you go when you left Sidney and I? Don't even think about