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[Riley]

"You feel the burn yet Ry?" Leslie challenged, shouting over the sound of heavy machinery being hammered repeatedly by both our Nike Air Max.

"Because my got damn thighs are boiling right now!"

I let out a faint chuckle as the perspiration forming across my forehead began to creep down the sides of my face. We both had just hit the two mile mark on the treadmill after spending nearly forty minutes on the elliptical prior. The level five speed and incline we had elevated to were killing my calves and causing my thighs to burn like hers but our workout was far from over. We still had to live up to the weight challenge we found in Cosmopolitan earlier this month because no one wants a toned set of legs and a horrible upper body. I knew for sure I didn't, so I refused to opt out now and even if my body as a whole was becoming limp as we speak.

"Come on Ry, this shit is killing me!" she continued on whining. I merely grabbed my phone, lifting it up in clear view to show her I was raising the volume of my music in efforts of ignoring her. Nothing Leslie said after that, which I'm sure was smart, was going to be heard. There was a goal I had in mind and a little less than fifteen minutes to accomplish it with or without her.

The only thing that was giving me the drive to keep propelling my legs forward was Vivrant Thing blasting from the ears of my Beats. My eyes were now closed as my body began to feel like it was being take to aerial heights. I'd like to think we all have those moments where we feel fearless during a workout. We get so used to the routine, our body becomes so accustomed to the level of adrenaline flowing through it that everything around us becomes invisible. We're now in our own channeled world and fighting the urge to give up. The task becomes nothing for us. I was feeling exactly like that right now. The burning in my thighs was slowly fading and the running was becoming effortless and almost graceful. Nothing could stop me but a force that is always to be reckoned with that goes by the name of Leslie Mitchell. How could I possibly think my music was enough to mute and null her out for the rest of this workout? That would be absurd but I did and she proved me wrong when her palm slammed against the emergency stop button. Thank God my brain and the other parts of my body needed to save myself from flying backwards cooperated in time.

"Bitch are you insane?" I nearly shouted as my hands gripped the sides of the machine tightly, allowing it and my feet to slow down their pace. "I could've died a horrible death you damn maniac!"

"Calm down. You know better than to shut me out with music, it's rude."

"Save that for my funeral eulogy. I should smack you but my feet are done for so I'm gonna sit down over there for the time being." I muttered while the treadmill came to a complete halt. Leslie then grabbed my towel and bottled water as I towed behind her to a nearby window seal. Sweat was running profusely down my face and onto my neck and chest while the cool air blowing out from the vents above was enough to slowly dry it up. Had Leslie not cut me short the dampness and fiery sensation my body was enduring would have all been worth it.

"It's almost two o' clock anyways, we have to go and head over to Onieals."

"Oh that was your real reason for interrupting my work out? To go eat?" I quizzed while snatching my water bottle to take a swallow. Leslie wasn't impressed by my humor though, she instead stood before me with her hand glued to her hip. This had to be where I got my sass from, she had definitely rubbed off on me over the course of our friendship and it was so obvious as of now.

"And if it was? I was tired and besides, we both have healthy and killer bodies. So I don't know why you were running like you stole something on that thing anyways."

"Because I had a goal, Les."

"Because I had a goal, Les." she mocked with her hand out to help me back up. "Is that your reason for interrupting the time I need to get dressed?"

"You know, I really can't stand you." Our hands locked around each other as I managed to stand and shake the tingling happening in my legs. I needed to get them moving again to keep the blood circulating. "I guess I could do the shower as an alternate to lifting weights."

"You can, now let's go."

As she dragged me along and into the women's locker room toward the back of the gym, I began anticipating the crowded showers and sauna room. We had already started our day off late by coming to the gym at noon on the weekend, a time when everyone is present and active on nearly every machine. Without a doubt I knew the locker room would be the same and as it is known, I hated small spaces with more than three people occupying them. Once we walked inside I was elated to see just the opposite. It took no time for me to strip out of my moist workout clothes and into the comfort of a towel before stepping inside the broiling yet soothing sauna room.

"This feels amazing." Leslie admitted lowly, sitting down in the corner opposite of mine.

"It does. I need to get one installed in my bathroom, it would be so nice to unravel in there just for the hell of it."

"Well it's huge enough so you should. Actually your entire loft is made for a small family so there's a lot you can add to it."

"If I had the time and patience to then I would. I just want to get myself together before making any adjustments to my place. I could move out of the city for all I know."

"And go where? Is Dr. Washington feeding that to you now?" I rolled my eyes.

"No, I'm just saying."

"Mhm. How's it been going though, I mean your meetings?"

"Surprisingly well actually. Now a days I'm open to his advice and maybe because I'm realizing it is indeed time for me to stop making myself content with my hurt and the unhealthy lifestyle I grew into. I can't keep ignoring things that bother me and drinking when I feel under pressure from it or just stress in general. I have to take my baggage head on or else I'll never be happy. My doctor actually told me, word for word, to take more chances, control the situations I end up in which means I have to become the director of my train." Leslie let out a laugh as I sat back against the faux wooden wall and did the same. advice sounded corny at times with the manmade phrases he used but he was stating nothing but facts. That is once the almost Dr. Seuss like lines sunk in and connected to reality.

"He said know where you want to go, know the route you want to take, know who is on board and any safety precautions that need to be taken along the ride." I added as the heat began to draw up some of the sweat that was coating my skin.

"Dr. Washington says some weird shit." She blurted, trying her best to keep her compliment ironically inoffensive.

"But it all makes sense. I mean think about it, if I follow his advice and take control of my life I can then avoid all danger zones, areas where congestion may be and ultimately get myself to where I need to go. In realistic terms, he's just saying to take charge of all aspects of my life so that I can live and live healthier and happier." Leslie stared back at me blankly for a few seconds before nodding.

"I get it and it does make sense...to some extent. I'm just glad you're finally hearing what he's saying and actually utilizing it. You're so headstrong sometimes that you'd rather disregard what you're recommended. Sometimes people are advising you for a reason, you just don't want to take it."

"Well this time around especially since we're going into a new year in a few months, I'm willing to make use of this all before I die a miserable life from angst one day. Also because I have to pay for some of my sessions out of pocket so something better be applied and effective."

"You're so over the top you know?"

"Yeah, maybe." We both slipped out a mutual laugh while continuing to sit in the heated haze that was just the calm we needed to set the tone for the rest of our day.

                                                ------——-

Onieals was swarming with people just as the gym was and I wasn't the least bit surprised by it. Alike many of the other bars and eateries that trailed along Grand Street, this one was home to those who resided in SoHo and desired a taste of American styled food aside a couple of appetizing drinks. During the midday on most Saturdays you could hardly find a seat for one let alone for three but Leslie was known for planning ahead. She had called in making reservations this morning once the restaurant opened their doors to assure we would get decent placement without any trouble. Typically I depend on my driver to carry me to most places I sought out but today Leslie insisted I lived a more normal life and dabbled in the city life as a normal New Yorker would.

That meant using my feet.

"I'm so happy I don't have anything planned for the rest of the day and I don't have on heels. You tried it with this voyage from the gym to the end of almost five blocks."

"Oh hush, you damn near complained about not finishing your workout in its entirety so here it is." I cut my eyes over at Leslie sharply as she pulled me through the doors of the restaurant and gave her name to the hostess. Once we sat down the grey cardigan that burdened my torso was being pulled tighter from the frigid air conditioner around me.

"We going with the Ruby Slippers today?"

"Mmm, that sounds perfect right about now." I could already taste the grapefruit flavored vodka against my tongue as if I was currently reveling in the mixture of the white liquor and other assortment of berries and sec.

Leslie put in the order then gazed over at me while making herself comfortable against the couch cushions she was settled in. "Now let's discuss this Brown Sugaaaah records thing you got going on." I let a cackle slip from between my lips at her embellishment of the words brown and sugar. She had to add flavor to the name of a project that was virtually nonexistent, you know give it a little importance.

"I wish things were moving much faster with this process but Miguel is working on his album, Elhae is currently traveling and I too am working. The time isn't right as of now for the three of us to sit and actually get things moving again but it will eventually."

"Well I can't wait when you all do get it together. A label specifically built to sustain the real. You know those R&B voices with that soul tingling sensation buried within them or those hip hop verses and the lyricists behind them that exemplify the world outside of that we see on MTV and BET. It's the life we all have lived or are living and none of those fakes on TV would dare step foot in."

"You quoting my columns now?" I teased as she nodded with a smirk.

"Yes I am. You have a way with words boo and you know it, but that little gig you got with XXL now is going to be the first outlet to get word out of your label when the time comes."

"That is true. I plan on getting someone to interview me instead of me writing an article about the label. That way it's not like I'm boasting on my work, but someone else is analyzing and reporting it."

"That makes sense. Then once you get them to cosign, you can get them to stop putting these trash ass freshmen on their covers." She mouthed bluntly with a chuckle. I mentally agreed though. The label and my relationship to one of hip hop's top magazine outlets was the way to change the image of urban music. If I had to eventually do it alone then I would.

"I also want to take Damon under my wing if I can. I feel like he's going nowhere over there with Dreamville and even with his contract he's practically invalid to them. He needs to be on the next freshmen cover and he needs an album in stores. He needs a larger fan base and he needs his freedom as well, I can give him that."

"You ever thought maybe there was a reason outside his contract for why he hasn't just left them completely?"

"No but I'm sure it's a dumb one." Leslie shook her head and eyed the waitress as she walked back with our drinks. My hand grasped the cocktail cup before it could properly come in contact with the table underneath it and was placed between my Pure Heroine coated lips.

"Anyways, since we're on Dreamville. Have you spoken to Lamarr lately?"

That's when I was reminded of the other night, reminded of those random text messages that Lamarr casually sent to me. I'm almost sure he thought it was more than appropriate to text me in the wee hours of the night not knowing if I were awake or not or if I was cooped up in bed with a man. That's what annoyed me the most. The fact that I knew he acted without much discerning and felt he had a right to contact me when he pleased; when he was ready and not when I was. The recording session we had was probably the fluid he needed to ignite that urge within him, but he still needed to realize that was how all our problems arose in the first place. From when he didn't think things through thoroughly and when he did, it was too late.

While Leslie awaited a response from me all I could gather myself to do was unlock my iPhone and open up the thread between Lamarr and I, before slithering it across the table. The minute her eyes locked with the screen and began to scan the spaced out messages, the corners of her lips curved up.

"This man doesn't miss a beat, now does he?" The irritation that was now arising again caused me to roll my eyes. Lamarr didn't miss a beat and I personally wanted him to miss a couple. His bluntness when it came to reentering my life was making me hesitant and I wasn't sure if he realized it.

"Didn't I tell you his intentions were going to be opposing to yours? I'm sure he was genuine with his words and request but it's obvious you're not ready for that yet. Just let him know that. Remember what you told me earlier, the advice your therapist gave you?"

"Yeah, yeah. Lead my train and toot my horn." I uttered dismissively after sipping from my drink again. Leslie placed my phone onto the table as a snicker fled her mouth.

 It was amazing how the advice I was given seemed so ethical but in this situation almost inhumane and useless to utilize. Lamarr had a way of getting me to act out of the usual. He had a way of influencing rash decisions and doing what was pleasing even if it were morally wrong. We could literally go from being positive powers over each other to mutually engaging in sin together. I had only experienced a short amount of time under his spell and it sucked I had to cut him off and act like that feeling didn't exist. It was hard adjusting to living without him and now I had finally done it and here he was inching his way back in. As much as I knew it would be a bad idea to walk that path with him again I was tempted, but nothing good would come from the rekindle of what could have been a beautiful derangement. Yet I still wanted to test the waters and see, but I had to listen to my doctor's advice if I wanted to remain sane. Which evil to choose?

"Look, like Donovan and I told you at lunch a few days ago, just be careful. Whatever you decide to do with that wolverine looking man I'll support. Just make sure it's right for you."

"I will Les, I will."

As her eyes wandered to something behind me and immediately lit up I was sure it was the arrival of her business partner and my somewhat new friend, . I can't recall when the two of them met but when they did they instantly clicked. Part of me was kind of jealous of the fast paced friendship between them but I realized I had did the same when Lamarr and I were friends and fell for him along the way too. Their friendship and business ventures couldn't be nearly as disastrous as that. Sidney was one of those book smart girls who had a unique sense of style that complemented her personality. She was very polite, humorous and not over the top. If anything she was laid back, humble and someone you really couldn't help but like. So here I was on yet another lunch date with her and Leslie and considering her a friend of mine as Les did herself.

"Sid! You finally made it." Leslie squealed as she pulled out the seat beside me and bringing it around to the most vacant part of the table.

"Yes, finally. I apologize for being late." She mumbled, releasing her arms from the jacket they nestled in. "I was helping my sister chose some flowers for her wedding since her friend couldn't make it out today. Then I had to go back to my apartment and grab the sketches that were supposed to be in my purse." Sidney's voice was heavy and it was probably due to the ripping and running she had been doing all morning.

"Aww wedding planning. How exciting! Congrats to your sister." Les blurted to ease the obvious stress Sidney was in.

"Yeah she's finally marrying her college sweetheart, they've been together since their freshmen year I believe. All the while she's casually transforming into Bridezilla in the process of it all. I'm also the maid of honor and that just reminds me day in and day out how I'm still very much man less." I couldn't help but laugh at her declaration. The more I sat and listened in on her complaints about her sister and her wedding behavior the more I realized I myself was still without a man yet had the dreams of my own nuptial ceremony. I had several moments where it crossed my mind but lately the thought was becoming a regular. I was nearing thirty and had no candidates to choose from, no nothing. I had convicted the notion that I would be single forever.

"You're not alone girl. You are not alone." I mumbled finishing off the rest of my cocktail.

"I'm so glad I have a man." Leslie specified proudly. Sidney and I locked eyes with each other before glaring over at her and sucking our teeth jointly.

"A man that obeys you like he's your bitch hardly qualifies as a boyfriend. He's more like a puppy and you don't need to marry someone like that."

"I have to agree with Riley." Sidney added with approving gesture of the head.

"Of course you two lonely hoes would agree with each other. What you both need to do is stop judging me and get out some more so you can find your own. Puppy dog or not, at least I'm not looking through bridal magazines without any prospects in mind."

"Was that shade?" I asked with a smirk lingering along my lips.

"I don't see any sun in here, which means that was just straight facts. You two should try speed dating or Soul Swipe, I won't judge if you do."

"I think I'll pass. I can deal with being single rather than dealing with a psycho on a dating app."

"Well if you won't consider it then maybe Ms. Sid over here will. You could still snatch up that fine ass neighbor of yours. What's he look like again?"

Les was ridiculous at times but you had to love it. Sometimes her logic made sense while other times I wondered how she was living a stable life. The last person I should take relationship tips from was her but most of the advice she dished out was decent, she just didn't use it herself. Her instructions in particular on how to ease in on my neighbor weren't too shabby if I may add, plus the man was fine. Although I hadn't seen him since the night we bumped into each other, what did happen to stick to my memory aside from his good looks and charming personality was the fragrance of Kiehl's Original Musk that seemed like it was permanently entrenched in his skin. Her instructions on how to snag him would be worth a shot if I had the audacity.

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