I fall against the large doors breathing heavily, did that just happen? I take deep breaths, I don't know whats wrong with me he just drove me home not a big deal but being so close to him, breathing in his sweet cologne made my heart race the whole time in the car...plus almost dying. I laugh at the memory, that was pretty hilarious. I blush thinking back to how he looked at me, but I remind myself he probably does that to all the girls he picks up...but he didn't ask anything of me. He sure is confusing. He acted as if he didn't know about Theo and the redhead but by some of his questions and a couple of times by the look in his eyes told me he knew. He's the first person who seemed interested or even cared, no one else has ever suspected anything.

"Mrs.Taylor?" Sofia says coming down the staircase "I was so worried about you, after Mr.Taylor...came here without you I didn't know where you were" she says walking over to me worry written on her face

I smile "I'm fine, I caught a ride" I tell her

She sighs looking sorry for me "Mrs.Taylor-"

I cut her off knowing she's going to tell me to do something I can't do "I'll take a cup of tea in the living room" I tell her already walking to my left across the marble floored foyer.

I come to see the fire already lit in the five foot fireplace, I take a seat in front of it in one of the large chairs staring at the orange flame flicker. I turn, looking around the chair, at the tall bookcases lining the warmly lit room, I slip off my heels and place them on the ground, I walk barefoot over to one and scan the well stocked shelves running my fingers over the spines of the book.

Finally I select a book I haven't read yet, but I've been wanting to for a while, I would go get Pride and Prejudice but I'd rather not go upstairs.

Reading will get my mind off of the soft sounds of moans and laugher that echoes from upstairs...and the man who hasn't left my brain since I stepped foot in this retched house.

I sit back down resting my aching feet and open the new book. The warmth of the fire tingles my face as I stare down at the paper. I rub my feet on the furry carpet but pull them up beside me in the chair, at this point not caring if I mess up the dress.

"Here you go Mrs.Taylor" I hear Sofia say, I turn from the chair to see her holding a china cup steaming with warm tea

I smile at her, feeling bad for before "Thank you" I slowly take the full cup from her and set it on the small round table by the chair "I'm sorry-"

She stops me by sticking her hand out "No need, I understand" she says her accent showing through her words "It's not my place"

I smile gratefully at her, I nod and she smiles walking out. I go back to reading the book and taking a sip of the sweet hot tea.

I get through page sixty of the book but it's like all the other love stories I've read and I'm tired of it, but I have nothing better to do. I hear the door of a bedroom opening and feet padding against the floor. I look up at the grandfather clock to see its already passed midnight. I look into the foyer not seeing anyone until the redhead comes down the last stair...at least she had the decency to get dressed. She doesn't seem to notice me as she walks over to the door smoothing down her bright hair. I sit back in the chair knowing the loud sound of the door is soon to follow.

I hear her leave and soon another set of feet come down the stairs but I don't look to see I just go back to reading. The footsteps get closer and they come around the corner. I hear the person plop down in the other chair beside me as I take a sip of tea.

I look up already knowing who it is, I sigh staring at my half naked Husband, him only having on a pair of boxers. Why does he do this to me...and why do I put up with it?

"How'd you get here?" He asks like he didn't know I was here

"I got a ride" I tell him

He nods his blue eyes are focused on the fire, a small scowl on his brow "Have a nice time?" I ask quietly

He nods "Quite"

It's silent between us, only the cracking of the fire in the room "Why?" I ask, I'm so tired of this, I'm tired of him leaving me, I'm tired of being the pitiful wife who he walks all over, I'm tired of all the women who come through the house taunting me by getting the attention from my Husband

"Why what?" He asks turning to me

"Why do you do this to me?" I stare at him not allowing myself to look away from his penetrating gaze "Why don't you just leave me completely?" I ask "Why do you hate me so much?"

He chuckles evilly leaning back in his chair "You know why, but I'm not done with you yet" he says looking back at the fire

I want to fight back, I want to scream at him that it wasn't my fault, that I deserve someone better and I don't want to be with him anyone. I want to be with someone who cares and loves me. I don't want to be the poor worthless wife that is cheated on more times than it rains...I don't know why I'm feeling the sudden urge to tell him this...maybe it was the redhead, maybe she was the last straw or maybe it was Vincent and his calm questioning eyes that made me feel warm inside. I don't care what it was but I don't want to do this anymore...and I wish it was that simple.

"I don't deserve it" I say holding my breath

"Excuse me?" He says leaning forward in his chair his tone giving me chills

I set down the book and finish off the tea "I don't deserve this" I gesture "I don't deserve you cheating on me every other night and I don't deserve to be forced to stay in this marriage" I tell him my heart rate increases with every word I speak

I feel him stand over me, I keep my head down afraid of what his eyes will hold "What you don't deserve is my time, my love or anything else you-"

"Then why don't you divorce me" I practically beg

"I'm not done with you" he repeats, silence stretching across the room again "I loved you" he tells me and my eyes lift to his "But you ruined it" he says beginning to walk away

I should have stayed quiet, let him walk off and go to bed and I soon follow to a different room and then go to sleep keeping all my thoughts to myself but no, that's not what happened "It wasn't my fault!" I scream louder than I wanted

He turns slowly his eyes looking menacing as the orange glow of the fire shadows his face "You know it is" he spits with anger in his words

I shake my head and tears fill my eyes "No...I didn't mean to" I whisper tears blurring my fission

"Yes it is!"

"I didn't know-"

"You killed our child!" He screams walking back over to me "You killed it!"

"No!!" I scream the tears finally spilling over onto my cheeks as I cover my face

"How could I ever touch you again knowing you did that, you don't deserve my love!" he yells

I fall back into the chair unable to stand "I-I didn't mean to" I cry choking on my words "I lost it to! it wasn't just your baby!" I scream through my tears remember the way my heart shattered when I found out I lost my little angel

"When that baby died my love for you died with it " he says with such hate in his voice that I feel my already shattered heart break a little more, I look up at him

"Please forg-"

A sting spreads across my cheek and new tears form in my eyes, my hand raised to my burning cheek and I stare at Theo in shock "I could never forgive you" he says and walks away out of my view leaving me curled up in a tight ball, wrinkling my dress as I cry all my pain away.
*
I feel someone come up and hug me, at first I imagine Vincent I don't now why but I smile sleepily at the thought "Señora?" Sofia says I shake awake still feeling wetness on my cheek

I look up at her and she frowns bringing me into a tight hug "Oh señora" she says rocking us slightly

We stay like this for a while the permanent frown never leaving my lips "It's all my fault" I whisper

She pulls back "No don't say that" Sofia demands "It wasn't, don't let him convince you" she says

"If I hadn't-"

"No, we aren't doing that, now come on let's get you to bed" she says lifting me a little

I hold onto her as we walk together up the stairs, I open the door to my room and step away from her "I'll be alright, you go to sleep" I tell her "I'll see you in the morning"

She still looks worried but nods "Goodnight Mrs.Taylor" she says and I nod shutting the door

I strip from the red dress leaving it there on the floor, I throw on my robe and curl up in bed, a blank stare on my face. If I hadn't fallen down those stairs we would have a beautiful child running around the house. At the thought more tears fall.

I had just turned twenty when we found out, he was twenty five already and wanted an heir to his business, not that I minded I loved the idea of love and creating the family I never had...that was when we were happy.

I was 11 weeks along when we were coming home from a banquet, it had been raining...I slipped on one of the steps and fell down. When Theo brought me into the house I was already crying because I was so scared and then I stated bleeding. When we went to the hospital they told me the trauma to my stomach...caused me to loose the baby. I cried and cried for hours, Theo held me as he cried too but after a week he changed. I was too heartbroken to notice or even care but it became a routine. I thought it would stop after a month or maybe possibly a year but no it's still happening.

I stare blankly at the wall laying on my side curled up tight trying to fight the numb feeling. I imagine strong arms wrapped around me, holding me together as I wept. We haven't talked about it since...I try not to think about it but sometimes I dream about a happy life with Theo and a baby, knowing that will never happen.
*
I open my eyes, a thin line of light streaming in from a crack in the curtains aimed right at my eyes waking me from my sleep. The memories from last night flood my mind too quickly and I have to swallow hard to keep the tears from coming. None of this would have happened if I hadn't fallen down. We could still be happy...

I sit up and remember a dream I had, my eyes widen when the image flashes through my head. It was me and Vincent...together. I shake away the rest of the dreams detail not allowing myself to think about him anymore. I can't complicate things, I don't even know how Theo would react. I just met him last night I'll probably never see him again and if I do he'll probably have some girl wrapped up in his arms and then she'll be gone the next morning just like all men.

I slowly stand and wrap the robe tighter around me, I walk into the bathroom to see my cheek is just slightly redder than the other, my makeup has run down my face, black streaks stain my cheeks from my mascara that the tears dragged down.

I quickly wash my face not wanting to remember the night before....and all the horrible things Theo said. I close my eyes and think of something happier. I think about how I couldn't stop laughing after Vincent almost got us in a wreak. His face was priceless and then he started cursing the other guy out and then he looked at me like I was crazy. But behind it I saw adoration and just the thought of his molten brown eyes I feel my heart jump. Even if he doesn't ever think about me again at least I can think about the way he made me feel and laugh for just the short amount of time I spent with him.

I dry my face off with a towel and stare at myself, the soft blue of my eyes look dull and lifeless. I look away and go back into the bedroom wondering if I should just stay in here all day and avoid my Husband at all costs. I don't know if I can handle more of his hateful stares or words.

I fall back on the bed and close my eyes thoughts of a happy life that I know I can never have appears behind my closed eyelids and a certain man happens to be there smiling at me.