This is it. I mean I said so yesterday, I joked around a bit for a week but this is actually it. I'm saying goodbye to someone who didn't care enough about me to stay; I think this is the end of my story in life. After this what's left for me?

Heels clicking against the marble floor of the church almost makes me turn my head to see who has graced us with their presence.

It's meant to be a small service, not many people will come because well not many people were invited. Obviously.

When I entered with Dee, Pete and Mickey beside me I didn't look at anyone or anything. I came in five minutes after the priest began to speak, just so no one tried to talk to me. My mom, my dad and most likely grandpa sat on the right side of the church. While we sat on the other side.

I brush Peter's hand, which rests on his thigh, and he frowns at me. I jerk my head in the direction the clicking heels are coming from, he rolls his eyes before turning around.

"It's Harley and her bae- Morgon." His sluggish depleted voice rings near my ear and I shiver with embarrassment. I can't even turn my head to glance at my parents.

He sighs and grabs my hand, "His voice is so..."

"Drained of life?" Dee adds.

"Miserable?" Mickey leans in closer to ask in a whisper.

"Suicidal?" I give my input despite the glare the priest sends at us.

Peter shakes his head with a chuckle, "All of them sounds about right."

She nudges Peter and he ends up hitting me, gently, "The priest doesn't look happy about all the whispering."

I look at him up and down, his greying hair styled back with gel and his bread combed neatly. The town's priest was a sixty-something-year-old man who enjoyed delivering the Lord's word; making me want to smack him, and fishing. He wasn't mean directly, he just likes to let people know that he passively disliked them.

After his dwelling scripture readings, we bow our heads for prayers.

I don't close my eyes when I pray, instead, I let them wander around the side of the church where I sat. The boring cream walls do little to uplift my spirit but I still stare at them.

The choir begin to gently sing above us, their voices give me goosebumps and I shiver. Tears well up to my eyes, I don't know why I feel like crawling into a ball and crying...

"It's the eulogy reading after this, right?" Someone asks me and I nod.

"I think the priest will announce who'll give one."

I don't want to stand up there. Up there I'll be forced to look them all in the eyes and talk about Madison. I haven't seen dad and grandpa in so long.

The musical selections end as promptly and softly as when they began. The priest stands in front again, facing us but not looking anyone in the eye,

"Now, before we lay Madison Longwood to rest, his mother comes to say a few words."

I think she stumbles up the stairs a little, a sob leaving her once in a while. I don't listen to her, I don't lookup. All I let myself focus on is Peter's hand on my thigh, and Mickey's head laying on my shoulder.

I believe she started with, "He was such an angel..." I mean she is right but that's a little far from the truth. I don't understand why no one would talk about him the way he was. Madison was a trouble maker; a party animal at heart. He would be disgusted with how pathetic this service is.

Someone bumps into my shoulder and I groan.

"You're the next one to speak, love." He gets up and pulls me out of our sits. I grab onto his hand, looking into his clouded eyes. I don't want to go up there alone. He smiles at me,

"Don't chicken out now, you worked so hard on your speech. You'll be fine." He releases my hand, letting me wrap my eyes with my elbow.

Slowly, with my head down, I walk about to the alter. My heart pounds violently and the saliva in my throat refuses to go down.

This is it. Talk about him like he's right there-- sitting with mom and dad, smiling. Send him off knowing that at least one person knew him.

I clench my hands on the pedestal, "Madison was my twin brother, I loved calling him my better half when he wasn't around. But there were so many layers underneath, Maddie." I lift my head to stare at the middle pathway separating my friends and the people I call family.

I don't make eye contact with anyone. However, I do see my dad's dark hair moving against the wind, and grandpa's walking stick. And that's all I let myself take in.

"Maddie was disobedient in a way--he didn't grow up hiding in the house as I did, no, he took one step out the door and that's where he belonged. In society, making things brighter for himself and people," someone opens the doors and my eyes widen, "Madison didn't know how to shut up," I hear Harley's low giggle just as Seth and his purple-haired girlfriend sit in the back row.

My eye twitches when I catch her eyes. Still dazzling emerald. I have no beef with her, but Seth could have been more respectful and kept his one night stand away from here. Ha, if I can even call her a one night stand, she's lasted longer than anyone else. He smiles frightened of me and I resist the urge to flip him off.

I exhale, "He wasn't good at being subtle, only blunt. That's why I think he was terrible at shutting up, he had too much to say about everything. My better half loved parties; he enjoyed going out and meeting new people. He just attracted you to him, never could I hate him. Even after he ran away, I've never hated him and I wish I got to tell him that before he died," tears peak at the corner of my eyes.

I never got to admit this but between him and me, before people were scared of me, Maddie was the one protecting me and standing up for both of us. He was the strong one who handled the hate of the town until he couldn't anymore and I stole that identity. I told myself that if Madison could do it then so could I-- after all we was one of the same.

"Everyone- everyone here as being touched by your beautiful soul, Madison and I wish you were here to see it. I wish... I..." A disgraceful sob escapes me and I shake my head, "I wish the last thing I ever got to tell you was that I loved you; that I couldn't live without you. No one here is themselves without you. Instead, I looked you in the eyes and told you that you were too much. Never, there could be enough of you and I know this because I see a piece of you inside us." My tears rush down my cheeks and my breath comes out ragged. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you left the way you did..."

I hang my head and a loud wail leaves me, "I... I'll watch after everyone, I promise. I'll never disappoint you again."

I knew who hugged me before I could open my eyes and look into the steels that I've kept me locked up for eyes. He wraps his arm around my waist and cradles me.

"You're okay, Mase. Just breathe for me," his soothing voice slows down my crying but tears still roll down my eyes.

I pull myself away from him, to end the speech I've been dreading. "Madison, my everlasting half, I know you'll be here forever. In our hearts. Thank you for being so influential." I think this was the part I should have taken a dramatic bow, but the gorgeous girl walking up to me with tears ruining her make-up made me pause.

She stood in front of me in a knee-length strapless black dress, her hair tied in a bun. Her boyfriend sat motionlessly and I arched my brow at her, did she need something.

Her voice, despite choking, sounded just as angelic as the first time I heard her. "I'm right here, better half. I'm here."

******

Happy New Year, my beautiful readers. Another year of this damn book still going, but at least we are halfway through and I have drafts for the second book. Yay...?

Okay, so many of you guessed it and many of you decided to stay on the sidelines and watch this shit play out. Madison lives, good for you. But I doubt Mason is going to let her walk about unharmed.

Hope this year is better than the last. Be safe out there, stay single.