Through all the dark times, I've always had the same people to assist me. No matter whether she pushes me down the stairs or makes me regret being born, I loved my mom with everything. She's always been the one who could calm me down.

Michael was a little haven for me, never have I ever dealt with something without him always being there to support and hold me, which may be the reason why I'm (probably) unnecessarily protective of him.

But after balling my eyes out in front of two people I never thought I would ever cry to, I've realized that anyone can calm me down if I gave them a chance to. I cried so hard that after five minutes I was choking on dry air in my lungs, I thought I would have a panic attack with the way I was breathing but I didn't. Instead, I let myself fall into Peter's open arms and allowed him to hold me until I was calm.

Then they told me everything that alarms me. Peter and Divine, out in a rainstorm, confessed to me how the past months have been hell for them.

I've never considered myself as a self-centered person but when Dee told me she had to force herself not to cry every night, it was discovered that I am an insensitive bastard. She didn't have to suffer all the distress my love for Peter put her through, but she did silently. For my sake. I can't remember the last time someone forgot about themselves just so I could be remotely happy.

Four years ago, Divine visited Jackson City for the first time and that's when she met Peter. They kept bumping into each other so much that they eventually became good friends. Divine moved back to Paris but apparently that only made their friendship more real and special. The reason she came back here was that she purposely got expelled-- she set someone's bed on fire, in her defense, the other girl was a bully. As soon as she saw him again, they started dating.

A beautiful love story I managed to ruin. Divine told me that she wanted to marry Peter; she had a future board ready, with baby names and everything. The lady was prepared to live her life with the man I loved. She was more determined than I was and she still left all her planning because of me. Peter doesn't even like me, and yet she burned her future board in her garden with all the lost dreams.

Speaking of Peter, who knew he's been looking out my window every night. Maybe it's not as creepy as it sounds, but I chose to ignore his stalking habits when he knelt and begged me to forgive him. And when I say begged, I don't say it lightly-- he knelt, getting his jeans wet, his palms together and over his head as he cried for me to forgive him. I've never seen someone beg another person just for them to be friends, I can't say I wasn't flattered by his action but it was too much.

I wanted to tell him to leave it all alone but the look Divine gave me was so irresistible-- she looked at me with so much pleading that I ended up telling Peter we could start over just for her. I was devastated with guilt for what I did to her, I agreed to meet him so we could talk it out. I thought we already talked everything out weeks ago, but Peter wasn't happy with how it all went.

"You got the next table coming in?" Hanna asks me, with a menu close to her chest. I nod and she walks over to the two boys who entered the cafe.

Today is a quiet day in the cafe I work in, mostly cause of the rain gushing uncontrollably. I've been drifting between taking orders and remembering everything that happened at school.

Every time I'm around Dee and Pete I'm surrounded by a radiant bubble that pops when they are gone. Even though Peter telling me how bad Madison's death is taking a toll on him, he persists in asking how I am. I'm fine, bloody hell, he's the one who can't eat or sleep. I mean, it is been days since I've gotten more than six hours of sleep, or eaten three times a day but he's not okay.

I still can't believe I didn't realize how many people are suffering without Madison. Maybe when Peter and I meet, I can get him some sleep tablets... or we can go through the photo album I haven't opened in years.

If only Divine didn't look so defeated, I would have never paid attention to Peter's crying and shit. I'm blushing just thinking about him being haunted without me. Maybe we should talk things out, properly, without any of us hitting each other. Maybe if I fix our friendship, Peter will be a better person for Divine and her future board can come true.

If only Madison was here, the little shit would know what I need to do. I hate the fact I'm only missing him when he's gone gone. I'll make amends by throwing his ashes into the Greece skies, in my swimsuit and whiskey in hand-- just like he would want.

Hanna taps my shoulder, interrupting my fantasies of sunbathing under Greece weather, "Seth O'Reilly just walked up with a different girl, and you've been staring at the counter," she pushes a menu towards my chest, "go serve our favourite man whore."

Hanna and I have this fun game we play whenever we get bored enough. We watch as people bought their affairs into our cafe, every day and we try to remember how many each of them has. For example, Seth is a regular customer-- before he fell off the face of the earth weeks ago-- and every week he'll come in with a different chick.

Hanna tries to narrate a story of how the couples met, and I'd listen in on their conversations so I have some semi fake plot for us to gossip about. This game is a high-risk activity, we can get fired if caught, but who gives a fuck when everyone is cheating.

No lie, George Hill is a town where everyone goes to hide their secrets. A two-hour drive is a price to pay so no one in Jackson City knows any dirty mysteries; George Hill was everything Jackson City will never be-- free and open.

I stare at Seth, who looks perfectly healthy in my opinion, as he laughs loudly with a girl I've never seen him with. This is the first time I've seen Seth without his smirk and flirty face, this date must be important. More important than my brother's death.

I'll admit that Seth of all people doesn't have to cry and moan my brother's name, but come on, this is a smack to my face. A "fuck you" to Madison's cold body. My brother loved this boy and he couldn't even show his condolences-- fake or not.

The girl puts her hand on Seth's, and Hanna pushes me towards them. She can't see I'm having a moment right now.

Rounding the tables, I stay behind Seth so he doesn't see me, pretending to clean the spotless booths. I get a good look at the new girlfriend, she's impressive.

Her hair is wavy and violet, making her emerald green eyes shine brighter. Her red heart-shaped lips stretched into a pure smile, and she tucks her hair behind her ear revealing three helix piercings.

There is no reason for my blood to be boiling just by looking at her, I am upset and disgusted at the mere sight of him and her together. My brother is dead and the boy he loved is sitting and toying with a girl he'll leave in two days. The bullshit, the insult. Why did he have to come into the place I work in?

I can hear Madison's outraged voice next to me, "Look at him, happy while I'm in an icebox. So what, she's perfectly good looking but I bet she has a shitty personality. I bet she's a whoo girl. Bet she has pepperoni nipples."

Hiding a smile behind my hand, I turn back to cleaning booths. She probably has pepperoni nipples.

"You can't be serious though, you haven't even tweeted about it. Come on, Seth, I know it's fake and all but just play the part." Her voice is so annoyingly melodic.

"I know, I know, but...you are right here! We can walk in, in two weeks and expose you, now that would be dramatic. I know you love the dramatics."

She sighs, "that's not the point...! The point is they have all broken over some fake white boy."

I turn around, Seth's head is on top of the table and his girlfriend is playing with her black nails as he stares at her,

"Why did this have to happen now? Why when I was coming back did some idiot have to die?"

I can't shake the feeling that I've seen her before, she looks oddly familiar. Maybe Seth has bought her before but I don't remember, I'm not that good with faces.

Emerald eyes meet mine, and I'm stuck just looking at her eyes. Shame, what has her looking so torn? She smiles wildly at me before it drops almost comical, her eyes widen as she gasps, immediately making her boyfriend turn his head to me. He's also alarmed.

I force a smile, "Order when you are ready." I leave them gaping at me, I would love to punch him a little bit but that girl is...overwhelmingly familiar. It is like I can squint at her all day, trying to remember why my heart flutters.

Hanna wriggles her eyebrows, "Any tea?" Other than the fact that the purple-haired girl is having a crisis, nope.

I grimace a smile, Hanna was nice when she wanted to be, it took me two months to get her to smile. She's gonna be pissed when I leave her here."Imma, head out now..."

"You have an hour left. Where do you have to be?" She doesn't look up, just walks around me to the cashier.

"My little brother is eating alone. I'm going home, sis." I pat her shoulder, the manager stares at me,

She nods at me as I exit through the back door, reminding me that she promised I could leave anytime I wanted if anything came up at home. I'd hate to lie to her, but I can't be a waiter for Seth and a random girl.

The thing I don't get is that I've seen Seth with tons of girls because, but this one just sends a chill down my spine and a blind rage through me. Is it because he didn't show any remorse towards Madison dying? Sure, that should be it.

Maybe it's because I don't want Madison to be forgotten and replaced. I'm tired of trying to forget him, I'll start remembering him no matter how bad it hurts.