Chapter Twenty

Payton's Pov

"Kai...sweetheart...can you open the door?" I knocked lightly.

"Fuck you Payton!" Kai yelled, he was crying. That hurt my heart really bad.

"Look, I'm sorry ok? I should've never brought up the stuff between you and your ex."

"Why would you even think about it in the first place? Who put that bug in your ear? Hm? Who?" I can't tell him that it was Ashton or else he'll probably break up with me, and I can't have that on my heart.

"I was just curious ok? I'm sorry...really sorry...can you open up the door please?" I asked. Footsteps were walking towards the door. It opens and it a reveals a bloodshot eyed Kai. I walked in his room and hugged him and he hugged me so tight.

"I never thought I'd had to say that out loud again." He said.

"It's ok Kai. You don't have to tell me...if it made you to the point where you cried then I don't want to know." I said.

"No...you're my boyfriend and you should know. After all, you did tell me about Ashton." He walked over to his bed and sat is the edge. He then looked at me and patted a spot next to him. I walk over and sat next to him.

"I lied...about.....being a virgin....well...half lied. I only been with girls...well one girl..Alex...I never really dove deep into having sex with guys because for one I was terrified and two, it seems so complicated."

"I appreciate you telling me the truth." I said. He nodded.

"So what happened to me and Alex was...one of the most difficult things I could ever go through, and I'm still going through it...throughout my high school career, as I told you and the group..I was an asshole, like, the biggest asshole on the planet. I guess Alex liked that. We dated in eighth grade to my senior year. I was even an ass in eighth grade. Alex Donovan was this really outgoing girl. She was on the girls basketball team, theater club, yearbook, and even the class president. She had this smooth chocolate dark skin and her hair was wavy and natural. Her parents on the other hand did not like me. Mainly because I was a asian boy and they wanted her to date someone who was similar to their race. Anyways, it was my junior year in high school, one night we were both extremely horny and we wanted to fuck without a condom...well I wanted to fuck without a condom. She said she wanted to keep it safe but.........I talked her out of it, so we did and it was one if not the best sex I had ever had. Weeks later she caught me at my lockers and told me she was pregnant."

"How did you respond?" I asked.

"I said that.....that.....that..." I saw tears rising from his eyes and his voice was getting shaky. I wiped his tears away and cupped his face.

"Take your time babe." I said looking at those hurt brown eyes. He took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I said that....the baby better not me mine and if it is.....abort it....she looked so defeated, because she was a christian and her family didn't believe in abortions. She didn't know what to do and I didn't do anything about it. Not until she told my parents. When my parents found out I got my sixteen year old girlfriend pregnant. My mom and my dad beat my ass. I'm telling you the ass whooping felt like it was going on for eternity. They said that I better man the fuck up and take care of that girl and that child...and that's what I did. I went to her appointments picked out some baby clothes, and had a baby shower, which was so awkward because my two best buds, Julia and and Connor were there and of course Alex parents were there and they were not happy. Not just because they were gonna have a biracial baby. It was also because a asian boy got their black daughter pregnant. They even gone to say that I raped her, which was totally not the case, but when things really start to change, was when my beautiful baby girl Onika was born. I remember vividly of what happened. I was side by side with Alex as she was screaming in pain crushing my hand. I kept telling her to push and I heard crying.....Payton when I heard that cry, my whole mindset changed. When I held her I looked into those pretty light brown eyes and fell in love. She looked at me and did a little smile cause she knew who her daddy was. Then I go and look at Alex and...."

"And what?"

"She was dead. She died while giving birth. The doctor said she had some other stuff that went on as well in her body. When her parents found out, they were devastated because that was their only daughter. She had a huge life ahead of her. We both had full rides to this school. At first I didn't want to go because she wasn't with me, but my younger brother told me that...you're gonna wonder your whole life asking yourself...what if. He was right too. So that's really why I'm here. It's always been my dream to attend here but..I wanted to attend here...."

"With her." I finished. He nodded. "Then I met you and you made all those dark memories fade." He said.

"So what happens with the baby?" I asked.

"Well when I tried to see Onika again in the hospital, Alex's parents stopped me saying that they put a restraining order on me so I couldn't see my child...MY CHILD!!" Kai cried. I held him tight and rocked him back and forth.

"My baby girl will be one in December. The day before I came to this school, I wanted to see her so fucking bad, but they told me to fuck off and called me a rapist and literally spat in my face. She's in New York not knowing who her fucking father is!! And she's gonna grow up and her grandparents are gonna tell her that I was a deadbeat dad and that I didn't give a rats ass about her. Every single day I think about Onika and what she's doing right now, and it breaks my heart that I'm not gonna be there. I'm not gonna be there when she takes her first steps, I'm not gonna be there when she says her first word, I'm not gonna be there when she has her first boyfriend or girlfriend, I'm not gonna be there when she gets her heart broken, I'm not gonna be there when she graduates high school and college. I'm just not gonna be there Payton, I'm just not." He said still crying.

"Shhh, shhh, shhh, Kai look at me..I know you want to see your daughter, trust me I do. I don't know what it feels like to have a child or a dead significant other, but I do know one feeling and that's hurt, pain, and suffering, and we both have that in common. I believe god put you and I in each others lives to help the other person and what they went through so they can heal and move on....I hope and pray that Alex's parents will come around so you can see your baby girl, but right now focus on the now. Focus on school, friends and just living your best life. I want nothing but happiness for you, you hear me?" Kai nodded and wiped all the tears from his eyes.

"You're right...I know that Onika is safe, so I should focus on the now and hopefully Alex's parents will come around, and you and I need to focus on healing each other, so let's do do that....let's us heal." Kai said.

"Together." We said at the same time.

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Y'all I love these characters so much!
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