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Chapter 56 | Winter wonderland

Lucas:

"Lucas honey is that you," my moms overly cheery voice calls out the moment the echo of the front door slamming shut courses through the house.

I instantly freeze. Dammit. I didn't think they would be home yet.

My parents had left the house earlier today unexpectedly so I had taken the chance to visit Dylan and Aidan. Both parties were leaving tonight to travel across the state to spend Christmas with their extended families so today would have been the last time I would see the both of them until New Years.

My parents hadn't told me where they were going and I had assumed they wouldn't be back till late. But I guess not.

"Yeah...I, er, just went out for a run," I call out in reply before quickly slapping both of my cheeks repeatedly to give my face a flush to make my lie seem even somewhat believable.

My mom however only hums absentmindedly in response which is not the reaction I was expecting. I slowly treck down the hallway and towards the kitchen where both my parents are seated at the kitchen island. I pause at the doorway and flit my eyes across the two, still awaiting them to go all dragon mode on me for going out when I'm still grounded.

"Why are you so pink?" My dad asks with a frown, looking up from his laptop.

I point behind me and draw my eyebrows together. "The, er, ru-nevermind what's up with you guys?"

At this my mom perks up. She pats the seat beside her. "Why don't you take a seat sweetie?"

I raise an eyebrow apprehnsively and cross my arms across my chest. "Why? What's going on? You never call me sweetie-"

"Just take a seat Lucas. Do as your told for once for pete's sake," my dad snaps and I reel back at his abrupt tone. My face immedietly hardens and I press my lips into a thin line as my mom places a hand on my father arm, telling him to calm down.

"Honey calm down," she hisses before turning back to me. "Excuse your father, we are both a bit stressed from work."

My father rolls his eyes and shuts his laptop closed, taking his glasses off and putting them on the kitchen counter.

"Son, take a seat." He tells me, firmly.

I don't budge.

When they both realise I'm not going to move from the doorway my dad rubs his temples frustratedly.

"Fine," my mother sighs exasperatedly, her sweet tone wilting away in an instant. "We're...leaving tomorrow. The wedding we're planning that is on the 16th of January is having complications and they urgently need us in Switzerland by boxing day."

I blink. "What?"

"We're leaving tomorrow evening," my father repeats slowly, annoyance lacing his voice from the fact he's had to repeat what my mother had just told me.

"What about Christmas?" My heart sinks and my eyebrows knit together. "Tomorrow's Christmas Eve-"

My mother frowns and she looks almost apologetic. Almost. "I'm sorry Lucas, we're not going to be here for Christmas this year," she says and disappointment floods through me.

"Where am I supposed to spend it then?" This time when I speak my voice is laced with frustration.

"I'm sure you can spend it at Isabella's or Aidan's or Dylan's even-"

"The guys are leaving tonight and aren't back until the new years and I can't fucking spend it at Isabella's-"

"Language!" My father narrows his eyes. "And don't be silly, I'm sure Valeria wouldn't mind if you spent it with them-"

"I'm not going to fucking intrude on their fucking Christmas!" I fume, swearing up a storm. My jaw ticks and I clench my fists together. "Can't I fucking come with you guys to Switzerland or something-"

My father rolls his eyes. "Don't be silly Lucas, you'd only get in the way."

Ah, yes, because of the nuisance I am.

I shake my head in disappointment. My anger wilting away into pure dismay. "Fuck this," I mutter under my breath. "Why am I even surprised, you guys always fucking do this-"

"Lucas! That is no way to speak to your parents," my father scowls before turning to my mom. "See he has no respect at all!"

I scoff, shaking my head. "Maybe I would respect you as parents if you fucking acted like it and didn't leave me fucking alone for the holi-"

"What is that supposed to me mean? We have provided you everything you could ever ask for and what do you do? You throw it back in our faces by acting downright disrespectful and always getting in trouble," my father snaps, briskly cutting me off.

"What has any of that, got to do with this?" I recoil. "You guys are leaving me alone on Christmas again for the fourth time in four years and now you're suddenly turning the conversation around against me when what we're talking about has nothing got to do with me."

"Well you are acting like a spoilt brat-"

My eyes widen in disbelief. "How?" I yell incredulously.

"We have to leave for work so that we can put a roof over your head and here you are throwing a tantrum-"

"You can't be serious right now?" I drag a hand down my face in utter incredulity. "Fuck this, fuck you guys," I mutter under my breath, shaking my head. "Go to fucking Switzerland see if I care."

"Lucas-" my mom calls out as I'm storm out of the kitchen, finally deciding to speak. I don't bother turning around and continue stalking out of the house and as immature as it is, I slam the door shut so hard  that the entire doorframe rattles.

***

The distance between my parents and I has grown oceans over the past few years. I can't even seem to have a normal conversations with them anymore without it breaking out into an argument. It is clear that all I am is a burden in their lives. I wonder sometimes if I had been an accident. They make it seem like I was one; constantly making it out like I was an obstacle that spoiled their life plans which they'll forever be bitter about.

Especially my father.

My mother on the off occasion sometimes acted somewhat motherly. She asks how school is going from time to time and oddly has a very keen interest in my love life but father...my father has never acted paternal towards me in the slightest. If we didn't look so alike I would think he wasn't my real father and that was his excuse as to why he didn't particularly enjoy my presence but I was an exact copy of him so that cancelled out that theory.

My father has always been cold to me, constantly ignoring me and on the off occasion he did pay attention to me - it was typically to scold or to pick apart my mistakes.

Because of this, when I was younger, I had been jealous of Isabella. She had the perfect textbook family. A father and mother who cared for her and a grandma whom she loved deeply. Her house was always (and still is) bustling with laughter and warmth whereas I only had my grandfather who cared and loved me and an eerie quiet, cold home.

That was also why I saw (and still see) the Quintero's more as a family than I saw my own and have viewed them as such since we were children.

So when they left for London...and when my grandfather died, it hurt me bad because it felt like I had no family left.

Yes, I still had abuela but I stopped seeing her as often as I had before which I now regret deeply, I should have made time for her; she was equally as alone without her family too. I did spend Christmases and thanksgivings with her when my parents weren't home and I couldn't go to Dylan's or Aidan's. It was a bit odd being the only person under 60 sitting at the table with all of her senior friends whom she would invite but it beat spending the holidays alone.

This also meant that for longest time the only people I had in my life were abuela, Dylan, Aidan and Ivy.

I stuck with Ivy for so long because of this reason - I couldn't bare to lose another person in my life.

So when Isabella came back, I had been over the moon. I was so glad to have my best friend back in my life, have my family back in my life...but when she began to keep her distance and continued to push me away, it both hurt and confused me so much. That is why I was so persistent on trying to make friends with her and wouldn't give up when she continued to detach herself from me.

So the other day when she said she wanted me out of her life completely it was like she was leaving all over again and that shattered me.

That was why I was still hoping to make it up to her somehow. I was hoping that she would come around soon enough like she had done before because I didn't want her to be out of my life permanently. I couldn't have her out of my life permanently.

I just couldn't.

***

The buzz of the fair is almost deafening. The bustling sound of laugher and screaming reverberates in my ears to the point it's near to bursting my ear drums. The smell of hotdogs cooking and other fair confectionaries is strong in the air. Fairy lights hang across the tops of the tents of each stall and Christmas tunes blare loudly out of the speaker I'm sitting beside. Little children are wrapped up in puffy coats and hats, scarves and gloves, holding hands with their parents as they manoeuvre their way through the sea of people and I find myself wishing I was them. Not the whole holding-hands-parents thing, I just wished I was like them; spending Christmas eve eve in winter wonderland with my family, with huge smiles permanently etched onto our faces for the whole night.

Instead, I'm sitting by myself, wedged between a huge speaker and a huge Christmas tree, munching on blue candy floss and throwing a pity party for myself.

After storming out of the house I had driven mindlessly throughout town, trying to find somewhere to go and had found myself at the winter wonderland fair that our town held from the 1st of December all the way till New Years day. The fair had been postponed because of the horrible weather until two nights ago so it was no wonder it was so busy.

After finishing off my candy floss, I need a boost of adrenaline so I finally get up from where I had been sat on some random discarded boxes and stretch out my cramped muscles before heading over to the 'claw' and waiting in the long ass line. I shove my hands into the pockets of my black puffer jacket, a sudden gust of wind coursing through me, causing a shiver to elicit down my spine.

"Hello." I feel a prod on my arm after a few minuets of waiting in line. "Hello Mr Sir."

I turn around to come in face to face with a tall...child. She gazes up at me with big green eyes, her blonde hair pulled into two pigtails on the side of her head.

"Er hello?" I say unsurely.

"Hi," she extends her hand out to handshake and I stare down at her palm. "Are you Dylan's friend?"

I nod my head reluctantly, still staring at her outstretched palm. "Yeah..."

"Ooo goody," she gushes. "I knew you looked familiar."

I quirk a confused eyebrow. "Sorry, do I know you?"

"LUCY!" A loud familiar voice booms and my head snaps up immedietly.

Coach Cassidy stands tall amongst all the other fair-goers, whipping his head around frantically in search of this said Lucy. I look from Coach back to the little girl who freezes at the voice and I instantly see the similarities.

"Oh," I say in realisation. "You're Coach's daughter...Grace's little sister right?"

She nods her head vigourously, giving me a toothy grin after being recognised. She looks back at her dad who is still looking around over heads of people for his daughter before turning back to me in panic.

"Quick, you have 10 seconds to tell me everything you know about Dylan. How does he smell? What is his exact height in centimeters? Do you think he could make an exception in his not being attracted to women prefernce for me because I am very, madly, deeply in love with hi-AH DAD HI WHERE DID YOU GO I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU, YOU JUST DISSAPEARED!"

"Lucy Charlotte Cassidy! What did I tell you about talking to random men do you want to get kidnapped and sold to the mafia?"

Lucy shrugs. "You know I won't mind that, Mia says mafia leaders are very hot-"

"LUCY!"

She giggles. "I'm joking and I'm not talking to random boys." She pauses to tug on my arm. "Look its Lucas!"

Coach suddenly flits his murdeorus gaze to me and my eyes widen at his intense stare, my back straightening.

"Hi Coach sir!" I salute.

Yes, slaute. I instantly cringe.

However, this makes Coach's hardened expression immediately soften and the moment he recognises me, he smiles and lets out a booming laugh.

"Miller! Good to see you!" He beams and his smile is so contagious that I find myself grinning too.

"Hi coach."

"What are you doing here? Did you come with Aidan and Dylan."

From my peripheral vision I see Lucy melt and she whispers Dylan's name wistfully under her breath.

I shake my head, scratching the back of my neck. "Ah, no, I sort of came by myself."

"By yourself? On Christmas eve eve?" He shakes his head discontendly, his the corner of his lips curling into a frown. "That is not right."

"It's okay I don't really mi-"

He promptly cuts me off, his eyes lighting up with an idea. I stare at him apprehensively instantly realising that I may not like what he's about to offer.

And yep. I'm right.

"You can hang with us," he exclaims excitedly. "I'll take you to the girls."

Before I can protest, he's grabbing me and Lucy by the shoulder with each of his hands and hauling us away from the line. His grip is almost deathly on my shoulder as he drags us through the crowd.

"DAD!" Lucy whines. "I wanted to go on that ride! I'm tall enough for it!!"

"No," Coach says firmly. "That ride is a death trap!"

"DAD!"

"No more whining or you're not getting anymore candyfloss."

That shuts Lucy up immeditely.

I tried to wriggle out of his grasp. "Er sir, I don't want to intrude on your night out-"

"Don't be silly boy, I will not allow you to mope around this fair by yourself OR go on death trap machines like that," he motions his head to the ride throwing people into the air and creaking dangerously and grimaces. "I need all of your limbs for next season thank you very much."

"Oh, it's fine I was going to head home anyways-"

"No, Lucas, I insist."

"Coach it's really okay-"

"AH there they are!" He inturrpets before I get to finish my sentence and I immediately shut my eyes and wince the moment the figure of three girls comes into view.

"Oh there you are dad...," I hear Grace begin before trailing off. "...Oh...Lucas."

Silence falls upon all of us and even John stills as I slowly peel my eyes open. I'm mentally preparing myself for the disheartened expressions I'm about to see in a second. Especially Isabella's. I don't think I will be able to bare the hostile look she is bound to express the moment her gaze lands on me.

And I'm right. Again.

The moment my eyes lock onto Isabella's, her face drops and so does my heart. For that quarter of a second we hold eye contact, I stop breathing completely. My stomach begins to twist the moment her gaze hardens as she takes me in. All the warmth in her eyes vanishes and she breaks eye contact immeditely.

I'm sure the hurt is evident on my face.

Both Mia and Grace freeze beside their friend and I immediately regret coming out of my hiding spot from between the speaker and the Christmas tree.

I'm about to make an excuse and disappear when Abuela begins to wave at me happily.

"Hello cariño!" She beams, throwing me an excited smile. I somehow manage to muster up a small smile for her in return.

"Where have you been Lucas?" Valeria grins also. "We've been missing your presence at home, especially Sofia." She wiggles Sofia who is clutched in her arms and the baby squawks the moment her name is mentioned, immediately making grabby hands in my direction when she see's me.

I laugh nervously. "Oh I've been busy...you know my parents are home and all and Christmas prep and...stuff."

"Aw, we'll make sure to come around on Christmas day," abuela continues just as Sofia wriggles out of her moms grasp and runs towards me, colliding with my leg. I bend down and pick her up for a moment before quickly flitting my eyes back across the three girls who have moved further away from the group; they're walking towards Grace and Mia's mom's who are heading in our direction clutching a bunch of churros and doughy pretzels.

"I'll see," I respond ambiguously. I then make a show of pulling out my phone and looking at the time. "Erm so I'm actually about to head home...it's getting late and-"

"Oh don't be silly," John interjects, clapping me on the back. "We're about to go on the ferris wheel, you can stay for that! That is the last ride we're going on before heading home so you can leave then with us."

"Oh no, it's ok-"

"C'mon Lucas," John says, ignoring my excuse and pushing me forward before I can't say no again. He stands directly behind me so I can't escape as the group begin moving towards the end of the park where the huge ferris wheel is located. They're all eating churros and pretzels as we walk except Isabella and both Mia and Lucy have chocolate smeared across their faces. The four girls are at the front whereas I hang around at the back with John, trying to give us distance. I know I'm already raining on their parade.

John takes Sofia from me and begins to natter on about some football related thing as we continue walking but my mind isn't in the conversation. I stuff my hands in the pockets of my coat and try to stop Isabella's crestfallen face from replaying in my mind but the image is stuck on loop in my brain.

The line for the ferris wheel is fairly short and we stand in queue. Mia's mom and Eve quickly step out of line for a moment after they realise they're yet to chuck away the empty churro and pretzels boxes and Valeria stands to the side with Sofia with abuela, trying to calm her down as she's begins to cry at the sight of the ride.

John nudges me forward and my breath hitches when I find my self standing right behind Isabella. Her back is to me, her head just about reaching the top of my chest. Mia and Grace are turned to face her and the moment Mia's eyes glance up to fall on me she downcasts her eyes again.

Falling out with Isabella also has meant that I've fallen out with Grace and Mia too and that sucks.

Soon we're at the front of the line and as the ferris wheel descends and comes to halt and people climb out of their carts, the ride operator begins to usher us forward.

"Only two people in one cart," the operator tells the girls firmly as Isabella tries to clamber on the same one as Grace and Mia.

"Oh but it's always been three-"

"The rule is two people in one cart miss," he cuts Grace off from speaking and closes the bar down on Mia and Grace before any one of them can protest.

"It's ok I'll just go in the next one," Isabella assures the two after they try and get her to swap with one of them. She hasn't yet noticed that I'm the one standing behind her.

I'm about to make a retreat and get out of the line so she isn't stuck in a carriage with me but John pushes me forward and the operator guy ushers me into the cart before I can protest.

Her eyes widen in alarm when I'm seated in the seat beside her

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