Dedicated to elmirafh

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"YOU'RE FROZEN, DAESYN," Caelum whispered against my lips. "Again."

His words sparked something in me, because the next thing I knew, I was kissing him back. His hands snaked around my neck, pulling me closer and I let out the tiniest gasp.

When Emery had told me about being Caelum's first kiss, I'd expected him to be innocent. He wasn't innocent. He was touching and grabbing like he'd had a lot of experience. And maybe he did have a lot of experience. Being someone's first kiss didn't mean he didn't do other things with other girls.

"And now you're frowning."

And with a sigh, I decided to not overthink and just enjoy the moment because I'd wished for this to happen in weeks, if not months. But then the guilt from the day in his bedroom came rushing and I instantly pulled away, tears forming in my eyes.

The look of rejection in his eyes was enough to start the waterworks from my eyes. I really did tear up.

Caelum immediately pulled me into his arms, while panicking. "I'm sorry Daesyn, I shouldn't have done it. I just... stop crying, okay? Please?"

I shook my head. "It's not that." I hiccupped, my voice muffled because my head was still on his chest. "I know this was like meant to be your night with opening up to me and all, but I still like you. I like you so much more now, I don't even know what's happening anymore," I said. "I like it when you're in a good mood, the way you smile when I talk, or when you're willing to listen to what I say even if you act like you don't care. I like the way my heart beats when I'm around you. I like the way I feel around you, Caelum."

I bit my lips, but I couldn't stop myself. "I hate that all of those things happened to you, but I want you to know that I still like you. I really didn't want to say any of this—at least, not tonight— but with the way things turned out, it feels like the right thing to say. I'm just sick of getting mixed feelings from you and bottling everything in."

I could hear his heartbeat quicken under my touch, and I realized I affected him much more than he made me believe. "The night we went to The Hangout, you kissed me. And I didn't say anything because I knew you were going to either go back to being an asshole, and I would get hurt. I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, but—"

This time around, he cut me off with another kiss, and believe me, I gave in. His mouth parted my own, demanding yet gentle, his tongue, soft and gentle. And even though I knew we were going to eventually part for air, I couldn't think of anything except kissing him.

I didn't know when it happened or how it happened, but I was literally sitting on his lap. And when his teeth grazed my lower lips into the kiss, I blanked. The butterflies exploded. I was on fire. My insides were on fire.

When I was pretty sure I'd die from the lack of Oxygen, I pulled away, resting my forehead on his, and smiled. He returned my smile with a huge grin. "I like you too, Daesyn."

I wrapped my hands around his neck, pulling him closer. "You're not mad at me for not telling you about the kiss that night?"

He shook his head. "I'm not."

And that was all I really needed to hear because it felt like a huge weight was lifted off of me. "I like you, a lot."

He grinned, placing his lips back on mine. "I'm pretty sure I like you more than you think I do."

There were words I wanted to tell him, to just pour out because I meant them. But they didn't make sense. Not after the hurt he had caused me, or how many times I had cried because of how inconsiderate he had been, or after everything he had done.

But at the back of Melanie's house, where I could still hear the bass thumping and teenagers yelling, where our hearts and souls were pressed together, where our lips were on each other's, I didn't know what else to call what I felt.

Caelum was broken and I had never for once had the intention of fixing him, he was stubborn and proud and closed off, just like he'd always been, but there was plenty not to love and plenty not to hate.

Just as how I had found things to hate, I loved him as a whole. I didn't say any of that, though. Instead, I let my feelings pour into the kiss. Because it did feel like things were finally looking up for us.

I went back to the living room just as Melanie started her speech. I stared at her as she talked, but I wasn't really listening to whatever she had to say because a certain dark-haired boy was all I could think of.

Somebody waved a hand in front of me, and I groaned when I saw the familiar face.

"What?"

He pointed at my lips. "Your lipstick is smudged. Did you kiss somebody?"

I sighed. "Mind your business, Wyatt."

"Is he a good kisser?" he prodded.

"Who said it was a he?" I asked.

"You're wearing Caelum's hoodie," he said. "Is he a good kisser?"

I groaned in annoyance. "Leave me alone."

Letting out a small laugh, he plopped himself down on the empty space beside me and placed a hand over my neck. "Don't be shy Daesyn, tell me."

I removed his hand from over my neck and returned my attention back to Melanie, only that she wasn't there. "If you really want to know the answer to that," I said, "Why don't you go find out yourself?"

"I would," he responded. "But I'm not into guys."

I shook my head. "You almost had me fooled."

He chuckled. "You should become a stand-up comedian or something."

I didn't get to respond to that because Emery flung herself on our bodies. "What the hell, Em?"

She giggled and from the smell of alcohol on her, I knew she was drunk. "I saw Cole, and he said I looked pretty."

My eyes popped out of my socket. "Cole Adler?" I asked and she nodded, still giggling. "What is he looking for here?"

"Chill out Daesyn," she slurred. "Melanie invited him."

"Why would she invite him?" I placed a hand on my forehead. "Doesn't she remember what he did?"

She pouted. "He already apologized and we forgave him. I still like him, you know?"

My eyes softened at her words, and I pulled her into my arms. "I was just looking out for you. I know you can take care of yourself and all-"

"Can y'all not do this sappy shit beside me?" Wyatt groaned. "You're such a girl Daesyn, you too Emery."

"Yeah." I averted my gaze from Emery with a roll of my eyes. "Forgive us for acting according to our genders and not horses, Wyatt."

He laughed. "Have you thought of becoming a comedian?"

I was unable to respond to the question again because Emery said some stuff about wanting to go home, so I nodded and told Wyatt to take her to the car. Stupid Wyatt didn't lift his cousin like I was expecting him to, he dragged her like a sack of rice after telling me to hurry up and get Caelum.

I assumed Caelum was still outside, so I looked around for Clara and Melanie—which was pretty easy seeing as Melanie's white dress was glittering under the strobe lights, and Clara was the only one twerking. I walked up to them and explained that we were already going home. Melanie nodded in understanding before pulling me into a hug, while Clara repeated the 'you're fucked,' and I shoved my middle finger in her face before rushing outside to call Caelum.

His gaze was fixed on his phone, completely oblivious to me slowly approaching him. So, I crept up behind him before placing my hands on his shoulders and yelling a loud 'boo!'

Caelum's reaction was epic.

He jumped off the bench, throwing his phone in the process while screaming like a fourteen-year-old girl seeing Justin Bieber for the first time.

"What the fuck!" He sent me a terrifying glare, before locating his phone on the floor. "Why would you even do that?"

I rubbed my elbow through my dress, suddenly feeling guilty. "I'm sorry," I said. "I just thought it'd be funny..."

Running a hand through his hair, he walked towards me. "Now you're making me look like the bad guy."

I chuckled. "The look on your face was hilarious, just like that time I threw the air pump in your room."

"Laugh it all out," he said.

I laughed, before remembering the reason I came out there. "Wyatt is waiting with Emery in the car."

As we walked through the doors of the house, a question popped into my head and I turned to Caelum. "Do you feel weird?"

"What?"

"You know you said you uh... liked me a lot," I flushed madly at my words. "Don't you feel weird around me?"

He laughed quietly. "If weirdness is my heart beating like I'm falling from a sixty-four storied building, then yes I feel weird."

The 'heart beating like I'm falling from a sixty-four storied building' was the same sentence used in the letter from my secret admirer, but maybe it was just a coincidence. People used the same analogies all the time.

"What are you thinking about?" Caelum asked.

"You," I blurted. "You are uhm... so sweet?"

He quirked an eyebrow, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me closer. "That was weird, but another compliment from you in the span of an hour, I should go jump over a moving train."

"Yeah, great idea."

He didn't get to reply because Wyatt yelled, "Took you both long enough!"

I was about to ask why he had sleeping Emery in his arms, but I realized the doors to the cars were locked. Snickering, I walked closer to him and gave him a pat on his shoulder. "You're lucky we didn't stay longer."

"Just shut up and open the door," he retorted, and I cackled at his helplessness.

We arrived at the Jensen's minutes later and Wyatt dragged Emery up to her room all the while muttering incoherent words under his breath about someone being stupid. Caelum and I followed quietly behind, and I flinched in surprise when he pulled me back to him.

I eyed him warily. "You could've just said my name, Caelum."

"Are you feeling sleepy?" he asked, dropping his hand. I shook my head.

"Is something wrong?"

"Uh... do you want to hang out? With me?" he asked. "Emery isn't awake and you guys were going to have a sleepover."

I grinned. "Even if my eyes are closed and I'm on my deathbed, I wouldn't miss an offer that comes once in a lifetime."

-

Author's note:

I don't know what to say, but uhh... I'm taking my laptop for repairs so I may not have a new chapter by Wednesday.

I'm sorry.

Please don't forget to leave your votes and comments (if you enjoyed the chapter).

I really wanted Cole Adler to be the secret admirer dude (ACJ), but it was just going to prolong things :))