Chapter 20 (M)

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.:Author's Note:.

Please read this author's note!

This chapter is literally just sex. I understand that some people aren't all that comfortable with serodiscordant couples as yet so you are not being forced to read this chapter. However, if you do decide to stick around, I will be answering your unasked questions before you go any further.

1 - Winston is HIV positive, but has an undetectable viral load (thanks to getting treatment early and sticking to it). This means Jonathan will NOT be able to contract HIV through oral sex because Winston can not pass it on.

2 - Only up to 3% of sexual HIV transmissions are because of oral sex.

3 - Risks are higher if the person giving oral sex has cuts, sores or abrasions in their mouth or gums, a sore throat or infection in the mouth or throat (which Jonathan has none of).

Or if the person receiving oral sex has a detectable viral load, has any cuts, sores or inflammation on the genital area (which Winston has none of).

4 - Receiving oral sex from someone with HIV is considered to be an extremely low risk and infection would really only be possible if someone with HIV was giving someone oral sex when their mouth was bleeding. This is not happening.

5 - I'm sure I don't need to go into as much details about penetration. Condoms will be used in almost all the sex scenes. However, if I decide to write a bareback scene, it will be explained beforehand why a condom isn't used at that time. Sorry if you were looking for constant raw/bareback sex. This is a story about a person with an STD after all.

Now, I think I've answered everything I think you will ask as you read this chapter. If I haven't, please feel free to leave comments and I'll do my best to respond with the help of Google. 😊

Enjoy, and please excuse any mistakes!

PS: I will ignore questions that I've already answered in my author's note. They are a major pet peeve to see.

***

Winston's POV:

My body shook with need, skin flushed hot red, and my eyes dark with lust. I tried to get my breathing under control, unable to stop my soft pants as Jonathan looked down at me. Seconds passed between us with him just looking me over, having yet to say anything to my request. Rejection and doubt settled in the pit of my stomach, causing the lustful haze to disperse around me. Just as I was going to suggest that we just go to sleep instead, he spoke.

"Are you sure?" He questioned. "Because I didn't tell you that I love you just to get in your pants, Winston. We can wait."

With his words alone, just like that, my insecurity disappeared. A small smile graced my face, making Jonathan pout in confusion. I wrapped an arm around his broad back pulling him down so that he was laying on top of me. Not needing him to say anything to disrupt the moment, I leaned in to kiss him. I grinned as he responded immediately, gripping my hips tightly while slowly rutting against me.

The sexual tension was back, thicker than it had ever been before. I don't know what it was about tonight, but I wanted to be connected with my boyfriend in the most intimate way possible. After spending more than ten years celibate, I concluded that I owed myself that much. It was time to let go of Diego and Charlie, and just enjoy where I was going with Jonathan.

"Winston, baby, are you sure?" My sweet boyfriend broke the kiss to ask. If it wasn't so endearing that he was adamant about my well-being and consent, I would've been annoyed.

"Yes, I'm sure." I answered without hesitation. "I promise this won't be like last time."

"I don't care if it is like last time. I just want to make sure that this is what you want; all of me."

"I wouldn't have told you I love you if I didn't." I quipped, making him chuckle. I guess that was all he needed to hear because he was back to kissing me, expertly using his tongue to make me weak in the knees and hard in the groin. My fingers tightened around his biceps when I felt his hand gliding down my chest and stomach before dipping into my boxers to grip my manhood.

A moan escaping my lips caused me to break the kiss and arch my back. I couldn't help that I was so sensitive; ten years without being touched by myself or another person did that to you. Jonathan didn't stop though. He gave my shaft slow torturous tugs as he kissed the corner of my mouth, followed by my cheek, and then the crook of my neck. His teeth sunk into the sensitive part of my flesh, making my breath hitch.

"So reactive." He teased lowly. "I'm going to enjoy pushing you over the edge."

I didn't have a response for him, too tongue-tied and drunk on lust to really come up with anything. However, my cock did twitch at the promise in his tone. I bit my lip, wriggling against the sheets as he went lower, taking one of my taut nipples into his mouth.

I wasn't sure when my eyes had closed, but I opened them to look down at Jonathan, who was already looking up at me. He smirked as our eyes connected, jerking me off a bit quicker while teasing the sensitive bud with his tongue. My breath came out in small pants as I watched him. Never in my life have I seen a more attractive human being. He made me leak like a faucet, and a part of me became self-conscious about how easily he could manipulate my body.

"Hey, out of that head of yours." He said a moment later, making my eyes widen as if I had been caught doing something wrong. "Focus on me, baby." He continued before assaulting my other nipple.

I didn't need to be told twice, erasing the unnecessary thoughts from my head in order to just accept the way I was reacting to my boyfriend's sinful touches. Jonathan seemed pleased with the way I melted, almost becoming one with the mattress. In record speed, he discarded both of our underwear before coming back up to press his lips against mine. Gasping at his hardness that pressed against my inner thigh, he easily slipped his tongue into my mouth.

When I started to feel light headed due to the lack of air, I paused, taking a moment to catch my breath before flipping us over so that I was on top. I slid down his body as he watched me with dark eyes. My tongue flicked over his nipples and I pressed chaste kisses to his stomach, but I was most excited for his thick length that jerked when my breath fanned over it.

I grinned, admiring how his cock curved a little at the tip. Sticking my tongue out, I made sure it was thoroughly wet before licking him from root to his spongy mushroom head. He groaned above me, one hand going to my hair while the other clenched the sheet beside him. I made myself comfortable between his legs before taking his tip into my mouth and giving it a hard suck.

"Fuck!" Jonathan grunted in surprise as his fingers tightened in my hair. It wasn't painful, but it caused a slight sting that had me moaning as I took him further down my throat. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to take all of him due to how wide he was, but I did my best, stopping only when I was moments away from gagging. With the rest unable to fit, I used my hand to jerk what I couldn't suck, making a little bit of drool seep from the corner of my mouth so that it was lubed enough.

Jonathan's hips bucked slightly as he thrust into my mouth. I moved my tongue to massage the underside of his cock while making sure the inside of my cheeks stimulated the rest of him. His tip repeatedly rubbed against the back of my throat, and I couldn't help but take notice of how erotic all of this was. His grunts and pants were music to my ears, and they encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing, only ten times better.

"Fucking hell, Winston." Jonathan's voice was gruff now and thick with arousal. The sound of it made my own cock twitch in excitement. I swallowed every time he buried himself further in my wet heat, enjoying the way he seemed to choke on his moans. Cupping his balls, I massaged them at the same pace I was sucking him off to. I kept at it for quite some time, only stopping when Jonathan told me he was moments from cumming, and he didn't want to do so in my mouth.

Knowing that I didn't want him to do so either – tonight anyways – I released him, yelping when he suddenly switched our positions and he disappeared from my line of sight before I knew what was happening. My hips were gently lifted so that my ass was up in the air. I felt exposed, so I buried my face in one of Jonathan's pillows to hide the redness taking over my cheeks.

"What a beautiful ass." He murmured to himself, using both hands to tightly grip my butt cheeks. His words, nor his actions, didn't help to contain the embarrassment I felt, but I didn't have time to complain because his tongue was unexpectedly running over my hole. Instinctively, I tried to move away from him. However, he must've expected that because he held on tighter to my ass, spreading me open, before burying his face between my cheeks.

"Jonathan!" I moaned choppily, his name coming out more disoriented than I had intended. Removing my face from his pillow, I cried out as his tongue breached my tight ring of muscles. My body seemed to go into shock before it slackened and welcomed his intrusion. My cock leaked underneath me, more than likely ruining his nice sheets, but neither of us seemed to care too much.

I panted as my eyes practically rolled to the back of my head. Jonathan was a man who knew exactly what he was doing, and there was no shame in the way he was hungrily eating me out. His facial hair rubbed against my sensitive skin, making me react in ways that I would never speak of outside this bedroom. Even I could admit that I sounded – and probably even looked – like a common whore.

Everything only intensified when a finger joined his talented tongue, and unexpectedly, I was cumming, soiling his sheets even further. There was no time to warn him since the feeling had shocked even myself. Jonathan paused, removing his wet muscle from my hole but keeping his thick digit in place.

"That was the sexiest thing I have ever seen." He commented as he added another finger. While I wanted to respond, I just couldn't since I was trying to catch my breath and he was toying with that sweet spot as he stretched me. Two fingers turned into three, then four, and I was surprised to find that it didn't hurt as much as I had expected it to. However, that feeling was short lived.

Once Jonathan felt that I was stretched enough, he backed away from my body, opening his bedside table drawer. I glanced back to see him pull out at least five condoms and a bottle of lube.

"I hope you've got the stamina." He teased when he saw my shocked expression. I blushed, looking away from him, and making him chuckle. He set down the handful of condoms on the table before ripping one open with his teeth. After getting it on, he poured some lube over himself, rubbing it in, and then used the excess on his fingers to stretch my hole for the last time.

I vaguely paid attention as he threw the lube bottle to the side of my head and rubbed his hands off in his sheets. He then pulled me back by my hips to the edge of his bed so that he could stand on his feet. I tensed as he rubbed the tip of his cock around my hole. Thankfully, he waited until I relaxed again before slowly pushing into me.

Jonathan and I both groaned, mine probably at a slightly higher pitch, as he entered me. No amount of stretching prepared me for the burn that came as I opened around his girth. Still, I pushed out, wanting to take all of him despite the pain I was feeling. A few tears gathered in my eyes, but there was no need for them to fall because Jonathan was being as gentle with me as he possibly could.

I released a breath of relief once he finally bottomed out and stayed still so that I could adjust to his size. He kissed my back in comfort and rubbed his hands over my legs, but he didn't rush me, and for that I was grateful. After what probably felt like hours to him – based off of the way his thighs quivered – but was really just a few short minutes, I gave him the okay to move.

I expected Jonathan to be a total beast with me, but he surprised me by being gentle and sweet. It really did feel like lovemaking as he slowly thrust into me, making me moan softly as he rubbed against my prostate with every move of his hips. Eventually, his speed did pick up when he realized that I was no longer hurting, but that feeling of warm love never left.

We rocked against each other, and it wasn't long before a slight sheen of sweat coated my skin. Our pants, moans, and groans filled the room. It was a sensual melody – one that I knew I would play over and over again in my head.

After some time, Jonathan ushered me up further into the center of the bed, not bothering to pull out as he followed suit. His thrusts became harsher then, once he steadied himself on his knees. I had to cover my mouth, afraid I would wake the twins or Macy with the loud sounds escaping my lips. Embarrassingly enough, I was a moaner and a screamer.

"Winston, you feel heavenly. Jesus Christ!" Jonathan grunted. I arched my back, opening myself to take more of his deep thrusts. His animalistic growl caused a pleasurable wave to flow through me and my cock to pump out precum. While one hand stayed over my mouth, the other gripped the sheets tightly. Jonathan was rocking my world, in more ways than one, and it was making my head spin.

I couldn't even tell how much minutes had passed before Jonathan pulled out and put me on my back. I removed my hand from my mouth so that I could accept his sweet kiss, moaning at the same time since he was entering me again. Instead of the hard thrusts from before, he began his gentle thrusting once more, moving his hips in a sort of wine. It was amazing how no matter how he moved, he always brought me immense pleasure.

I was drunk on lust and on him in general. This time, as the tears gathered in my eyes, I didn't stop them from falling. For once, in a long time, I felt free and completely happy. It wasn't just the sex or the way Jonathan worked his lips with mine; it was because I was finally accepting the fact that I could be – should be – loved the proper way. Unconditionally.

There was no valid reason for Jonathan to love me due to all of my flaws, but he did anyway, and that in itself made me overly emotional. Noticing that I was crying, he paused, looking down at me with concerned eyes. I smiled as I looked up at him, hoping to convey that I was okay. Words seemed to be failing me at the moment, but my smart as hell boyfriend understood me more than anyone ever has, and he simply nodded.

He gently wiped away my tears as he started to move again. We kissed, this one feeling more passionate than any of our kisses before. There was no need for tongue. I just wanted to feel him completely against me, and I guessed he felt the same.

Sweet nothings were mumbled into my ear, making me smile despite my nails scratching down the soft flesh of his back. He moved my legs so that they hiked up on his hips and my feet locked together behind him. One hand slipped between us to jerk me off, and when his thrust became erratic, I knew he was moments away from cumming.

The need for release began in the tips of my toes and traveled all the way up until it pooled in my stomach. I breathed deeply, feeling as my balls drew up to my body. Jonathan worked me quicker, connecting our lips together to quiet me as I came seconds later. He continued to stroke my overly sensitive cock until not a drop was left in me. I went slack underneath him yet remained hyper-aware of his grunts and throbbing length as he came a couple minutes after me.

Once he was done, he slowly pulled out and threw away the condom before snuggling up to me. Neither of us cared that the sheets were soiled and that cum covered most of my chest. All that he wanted was for me to lay on top of him and enjoy the feeling of his tongue playing with mine, which I thoroughly did.

We settled and enjoyed our sex high, not exchanging a single word between us. My mind, body, and soul had been completely taken over by the charming man underneath me, and I had a feeling that it was totally mutual on his end. Still, I looked up at him with a content smile, breaking the silence just so I could hear those three simple, yet meaningful, words again.

"I love you, Jonathan Russell." I voiced lowly, pressing a chaste kiss to his damp chest, right over where his heart would be. He grinned, eyes shimmering in the moonlight before he blinked slowly, seeming to really relish in the after effects of what we had just done.

"I love you too, Winston Monroe." He replied breathlessly before kissing my sweaty forehead. "Now and forever more." He continued, and for once, I didn't doubt that.

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