Semi-edited

I look down into Lola's eyes as the crew around us starts to file out the room.

I just made out with a girl I caught feelings for so quickly, and not to mention she's dating my best friend.

I'm a sorry excuse for a friend.

All week all I could think about was the kissing scene me and Lola had to do, It invaded my mind, I couldn't think about anything other than Lola's lips moving in sync against mine.

The day Dante called me, his voice beaming with joy as he told me he was no longer a single man.

It broke my heart.

Because deep down I knew who tied him down.

The girl I fell for the minute I laid my eyes on her.

I've always struggled since I've been out in the public eye with depression. I close myself off from others.

I don't know what it is, but for some reason, I just gravitate to certain people I just met.

Lola was the first girl I've ever met that makes me feel like this.

She didn't look at me like I was her money bag, she didn't look at me like she wanted to jump my bones and use me for her pleasures.

She looked at me as her equal, as someone she respects and understands.

She's the first girl that hasn't thrown herself at me.

All the girls I shut down run immediately to the press and spread lies about me to ruin my career. It never works, but they still try.

So I couldn't help but gravitate to the sweet, caring, respectful, loving girl in front of me.

She feels like the perfect match for myself, I want to protect her, care for her, and love her.

I know she's had a rough past, I know she still struggles with it, and I want to help her.

I want her to know that lightness always overcomes darkness.

I want her to understand, and learn that her past doesn't control her future.

But that can never happen because she's dating my best friend.

That's his job now, and not mine.

My thoughts are cut off by a slap to my shoulder, I quickly look over my shoulder and see Liam standing over us with a stern look on his face.

I quickly jump off Lola who's still under me, we both stand up beside each other and attempt to make our clothes look straight. We both clear our throats awkwardly, Lola crosses her arms against her chest, and I put my hands in the front pockets of my sweats.

"Chris why were you still on top of Lola with lovey-dovey eyes?" Liam asks sternly.

I let out an embarrassed chuckle and scratch the back of my head, I don't dare make eye contact with Lola as I speak, "I zoned out thinking about my mom."

Shit did I just say, my mom?

What the hell is wrong with me?

With dumb folded expressions on both Lola and Liam's faces.

Liam opens and closes his mouth, before finally saying "Should I be concerned that you're thinking of your mom like that?"

I nervously glance over at Lola to see she has an amused smile plastered on her face.

I let out a breathy laugh and explain, "Oh gosh no, I'm just a mommy's boy, my mom is flying from Vancouver today to visit me."

I smile at the thought of seeing my mom today, my mom always gives the best hugs, makes the best food, and she has great mom advice.

The beautiful girl next to me that already has me whipped let's out a laugh and turns to face me, "I thought you had the hot's for your mom. I was just about to call a therapist for you."

I let out a dry laugh, "Well I have to go pick up my mom from the airport, I'll see you guys in a couple of days." I say as I walk back towards the door.

"See you, Chris," Lola says with a small smile, I get a respectful nod from Liam as I walk out the door.

***

Once I'm in my dressing room I wash off all the makeup the crew made me wear so I wouldn't look like a ghost on screen. I grab my phone, wallet and keys and head out the door to my car.

"Hey Paul," I say walking past a behind-the-scenes crew member that works lighting in the hallway while I walk towards the parking garage.

"Hey man," He says while pasting me with a smile.

Smiling and walking to the front doors as I push them to open my smile immediately falls when I see the sight of Dante's arms around Lola's waist while kissing her forehead, and she has a loving smile on her face.

I'm such a dick of course I want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy with me.

"Hey, buddy! Come here my man," Dante yells across the parking garage with a grin on his face, Lola still in his arms.

Damn this hurts more than I expected.

I put the fakest smile on my face and approach the loving new couple. 

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