37 | realization

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AN:
Hi everyone. I'm sorry for the long wait. My mom got admitted into ICU, but thankfully the operation went well. Everybody else is working because it's office hours now, but I can't think of anything but her. I'm writing this while waiting outside the room because she can't be visited. I'm actually writing this chapter on my phone to calm myself down :)

***

I've never thought that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on today's class. I've always loved my business courses, so it frustrates me that the lecture doesn't interest me like usual.

My mind is clogged up with something else, and I know what it is. Lately, Aiden has been unusually distant.

We didn't talk much during the dinner last night, and today, he was quiet during our breakfast too.

He hasn't only been quiet, but he's also been avoiding eye contact with me. This has never happened before.

I've been scribbling random words in my notebook during the lecture. A sigh leaves my lips when my eyes dart on what's written on the paper. The feelings.

Again, what Mr. Bennett told me crosses my mind. I can't help but jot down those feelings, as if I'm trying to understand them.

Why does it feel so important to me to understand those feelings?

My gaze falls on the fifth feeling. Jealousy.

Mr. Bennett's words ring in my ears.

Even though one would try to deny it or hide it for the better, they can't help but feel their heart sink when the person they love chooses someone else. Although they would want their significant other to be happy, it would be upsetting to find that they're not the one who can give such happiness to the person they love.

Aiden's heart has blocked such feeling because of the pain Roman and Olivia inflicted on him. Jealousy would only remind him of their betrayal.

I shut my eyes in frustration. All these theories are giving me a headache.

Why am I thinking about this too much?

In the end, I would only be reminded that Aiden's heart has been frozen. Mr. Bennett has made it crystal clear. 

"I expect you to submit your next assignment by the end of this week," the professor's voice snaps me out of my daze when he makes such an announcement to the class.

I look up at him, only to find that he's already preparing to leave. Holy shit. Have I been daydreaming until the class is over?

"You can work in pairs to submit the graph." With that said, he walks off, leaving me dumbfounded.

Wait. What graph is he talking about? I'm officially doomed.

I snap my head toward Ash and Maya, who are sitting across the aisle next to me. They give me a knowing look and nod. It's like we're having telepathy. They know that I'm in a trouble, since I haven't paid any attention to the class.

A group of two or three people doesn't make any difference, does it? I hope that the professor would allow one more person to join the same group.

"Have you got a partner?" a familiar voice startles me.

I turn around and find Kai standing before me.

He stares down at me with a charming smile plastered on his face. "Are you surprised that we're actually in the same class for this subject?"

I'm at a loss for words. I haven't paid any attention to what has been going on -- I didn't even notice him when he walked into the lecture hall earlier.

"I changed my schedule," he says, knowing the question in my head. "The evening class would clash with the meetings for the student body, so I decided to take the afternoon slot for the rest of the semester."

A grin creeps on my lips. "That's great."

I don't know why, but Kai is one of the few guys here whom I feel comfortable around. We usually meet in the library, but having him as my classmate makes me happier.

Kai is a good guy, and he cares about me.

Last time, when Aiden picked me up, I had to explain to Kai that I wasn't about to be taken away by a stranger. That's hilarious, but I got panicked because I never wanted my friends to know about Aiden.

What if they accidentally bring that up to my parents?

"Do you want to do the assignment together with me?" Kai asks, and I chuckle.

He doesn't even have to ask.

Maya and Ash shake their heads, knowing that I'm changing my mind. 


While I'm walking with Kai toward the gate, I find myself laughing with him. The thing I love about Kai is that we can talk about a lot of books. I'll never get bored spending time with him.

I watch him talking while we're walking along the path slowly. The breeze blows softly against my skin, and the sound of rustling leaves gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling.

My eyes linger on Kai's side view longer than they should. He's indeed a handsome guy. The dimples he has when he smiles are adorable.

"...a book about it," he says.

I realize that I was too mesmerized by him, I didn't catch the first few words. I quickly shake off my thoughts.

"A book about what?" I ask, feeling stupid.

"About the assignment." Kai smiles, facing me without stopping his steps. "I once did a project about that. The graph is actually not that complicated. I did some case studies too. We can use that for our assignment."

"Oh my God, that's perfect," I blurt out, amazed.

Kai lets out a small chuckle, and I just can't stop staring at him.

It's then I realize how much I adore him. Kai is such a great guy. He's intelligent and hardworking. He's also kind, helpful, and reliable.

I can feel that he genuinely cares about me, and it warms my heart, like he's someone I can turn to whenever I feel lost. He reminds me of...

I stop in my track, causing Kai to do the same. He stares at me, wondering what's wrong.

My heart skips a beat.

Is this why I can't stop staring at Kai?

Is this why I adore him?

Is this why I always feel comfortable around him?

Because he reminds me of Aiden? 

***

AN:
Keep scrolling to read Chapter 38



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