AN:

***

The rest of the journey back home is spent without talking to each other. When Nevaeh and I reach my penthouse, we go in our separate ways for obvious reasons. I can hardly control my anger, while Nevaeh is too occupied with Kai.

Her eyes are still glued to her phone. She might be trying to find a million excuses to tell him that we're not living together.

I stride into my home office and call Ashton. Even though I asked him to settle some business while I was away for the factory visit earlier today, I know that he's already back in my house with the reports.

He answers on the second ring.

"Meet me in my home office," I say before ending the call. I collapse into my chair, sighing as I rake my fingers through my hair.

Ashton knocks before entering the room. He shuts the door behind him.

"We had a call from Singapore." He approaches my desk, not knowing that I called him to talk about something unrelated to work. "The chairman wants to meet you in person to discuss our business deal."

"Kai Walker," I say, causing Ashton to stop in his track.

He stares at me with a lost expression.

"Find out who he is and give me every detail about him," I command.

"Is he a consultant?" Ashton squints at me. "Would you like him to review the market in Singapore? Or is he--"

"He's a college guy," I bark, losing my patience.

My chest heaves up and down while Ashton's mouth drops open. Then he does something that annoys me the most.

He howls with laughter.

I've never seen him laughing so hard. He even has to hold his stomach.

"Are you serious?" He stares at me with pure amusement. "Which college?"

I don't answer him, and a smirk creeps on his lips.

"Never mind," he says. "I bet it's Nevaeh's college."

Fucking correct. What about that, huh?

"I thought you wanted me to dig information about your business competitor," he says, still with a big smile on his face. "A college guy. Really?"

"Yes." My voice is low, filled with irritation.

The amusement on Ashton's face is even more visible now that my face darkens.

"Do you have any problem with that?" I speak in a dangerous tone.

Ashton only raises his eyebrows, completely unaffected by my threat. Of course, this man has been watching me since I was five years old. He'll always see me as a kid.

He chuckles. "I'd do as you wish. Kai Walker, right?"

I nod, and Ashton walks off with a grin. When he almost reaches the door, he turns around.

"The mechanic has fixed Nevaeh's car," he says. "But he asked me whether we want extra maintenance or not."

"Take as much time as he wants," I say. "I'll just have Sam driving Nevaeh around."

I hate to admit that I prefer this option, because I'll know where she goes and what happens to her.

Ashton nods. After he closes the door, I can hear him trying to muffle his laughter.

Fuck.

Boxing.

I feel like it's a good time to let out my anger, so here I am, in my gym.

I wear my boxing gloves and face the heavy bag hung in the middle of the room. I perfect my stance and take a deep breath, but before I can start, the door bursts open. I turn around and find Ashton striding into the room.

He gestures the papers in his hand and motions for me to follow him toward the table in the corner of the room. He tosses the papers onto it.

I see a picture of Kai and everything I want to know about him. His background.

"Kai Walker," Ashton says while my eyes scan the information presented to me. "19. Smart guy. Got a scholarship for his college. Currently the president of the student body. In case you want to know what his fans think of him, they say he's mysterious and intelligent." As if the compliments aren't enough, Ashton adds, "and charming."

He clears his throat, and I wonder if he does that on purpose. I turn to face him.

As soon as he sees the serious expression on my face, he shakes his head. "No criminal records. All clear."

I sigh in relief, but it doesn't make my heart feel any less heavy.

"You might want to know that he likes to read," Ashton says. "That might be the reason why he and Nevaeh get along so well."

"Really?" I almost scoff. "I like to read too."

Ashton's eyes are glinting with amusement. Whatever he's doing to me, he's enjoying it.

He puts his hand on my shoulder. "No offense. But have I not told you that your books are kinda boring?"

His words ring in my ears. It shouldn't hurt my pride, but I'm starting to feel pissed over the fact that Nevaeh would find Kai's library -- if he ever has one -- more interesting than mine.

Fuck. What if he reads novels?

What if they share their favorite quotes?

What if they read poems together?

Fuck. My mind is going crazy.

Ashton pats my shoulder sympathetically. "He seems like a decent human being. And he's actually the perfect college guy."

Something else glints in Ashton's eyes, as though he's challenging me.

He wants me to take this challenge, to face the reality and do something about it. To win.

I snap his hand off and look away. He sighs.

I clench my fist on my side while he walks away. After I hear the door shut, I stride toward the middle of the room, stand in my stance, and land a straight punch at the hanging heavy bag.

The image of Nevaeh and Kai walking and laughing together crosses my mind again.

He'd ruffled her hair, and she'd giggled.

Punch.

He's the perfect guy for her, the one who genuinely cares about her. He's the guy who would protect her from a man like me.

I knew it, and that's why I was so mad.

Punch.

He's a decent guy, not a fucked up one like me. He can give her what she deserves. I can't give her that. I can never give her the adoration and love she deserves. Because I. Can't. Love. I should not.

Punch.

The image in my head changes into the memory I've been trying to bury for the past few years. I see myself, Olivia, and Roman walking on campus after class. Roman throws a joke, and Olivia laughs while I ruffle her hair.

I land another punch that's way more powerful, completely throwing the bag. I pant heavily while my body is covered in sweat. I don't know what I'm thinking about anymore.

Is this how Roman felt every time he saw me and Olivia?

Is this why he stabbed me behind my back?

Is this the pain he was feeling?

I'll fucking kill you one day, Roman. I'll fucking kill you.

I squeeze my eyes shut and curse again. All I hear in this silent room is my heavy breathing.

I realize all over again how fucked up I am, because no matter what, it always comes back to them.